lmorris
Sophomore Member
Posts: 195
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Post by lmorris on Jan 25, 2017 11:20:34 GMT -6
We have all heard some off the wall things kids have said, what are some that came from coaches that made you scratch your head and just say, "what?"
had a coach who said
"kids twist their ankles from wearing those ankle socks, they should be wearing long socks"
"kids legs get longer when they run track"
"Kids get taller from getting on the leaper"(sometimes called a bear, machine weight they would put 200+ pounds on and jump in the air for it to land on their backs. would do their squats on the flat part so they were leaning forward)
"those kids don't need supervision, they ain't going to mess up nothing"(on jr high kids lifting in a weight room unsupervised in the morning before school with no adults even near the facility and girls in there with them....)
This is the one that got me and had words after practice got resolved pretty quickly->
Had a coach teaching stalk blocking, I told him I wanted them to come off hard 3 steps, get an inside position and buzz their feet, basically play basketball defense(he was a basketball coach) and punch with both hands when they come close...don't lunge or it will be like getting crossed in basketball.
I look up they are lunging so hard they are falling to the ground, at break I asked him what he was doing....his reply that still hits me today....."coach, I am going to teach them the right way to do it, then teach what you want." It was not pretty in the coaches office after practice.
The next game HS game he sees he comes back and says "their rec's were blocking like you wanted us to do...that stuff works."
Same basketball coach
"these kids are losing creativity in football because they don't play basketball."
after coaching kids in 7th grade (undefeated) and 8th grade he now has them in 9th grade having coached them for 3 years....."these kids don't know anything about basketball, by the time they get to me they should know something"
I have some others by this same coach but they start getting dicey
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Post by tothehouse on Jan 25, 2017 14:11:08 GMT -6
I had a dad tell me..."your son" yes...he was talking about my son "needs to work on his left hand if he's going to continue to play basketball".
That was 7th grade.
Flash forward....
This guy's son...NEVER TRIED OUT FOR BASKETBALL AT THE HS.
My son? Starting guard for the varsity as a junior. (played JV as a frosh and started both those years)
Block out the noise.
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Post by blb on Jan 25, 2017 14:27:36 GMT -6
I had a dad tell me..."your son" yes...he was talking about my son "needs to work on his left hand if he's going to continue to play basketball". That was 7th grade. Flash forward.... This guy's son...NEVER TRIED OUT FOR BASKETBALL AT THE HS. My son? Starting guard for the varsity as a junior. (played JV as a frosh and started both those years) Block out the noise.
"God is great...
"Beer is good...
"People are crazy!"
-- Benjamin Franklin
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Post by tothehouse on Jan 25, 2017 14:33:21 GMT -6
Amen brother B.
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Post by hunhdisciple on Jan 26, 2017 10:23:53 GMT -6
I once heard a head coach scream at one of his LB's to "Put that f--king receiver in a f--king wheel chair the next f--king time they run mesh." And then he just let out a high pitched primal scream.
This wasn't during a game. It wasn't during a closed practice. It was during a 7v7 "game." Score wasn't being kept. Each team had 10 plays to run what they wanted, just for practice looks. There were 4 teams there, 2 on each end. A few parents and families were scattered around to watch it.
He was so loud that everyone heard him. The other teams looked around, the parents were horrified.
Fast forward to November, they're getting trashed in a round 1 playoff game, and dude apparently started yelling at officials, got thrown out, yelled at his Super, the principal and their AD as he was being escorted off the field. Tried to fight his AD on the sidelines.
He, um, he got fired pretty quickly after that.
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SconnieOC
Junior Member
Just here to learn the facemelter
Posts: 414
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Post by SconnieOC on Jan 26, 2017 13:39:18 GMT -6
My first year as an OC, our RB's coach who was 78 at the time.. (Great guy, really good coach, players loved him) Looked at our practice plan on day 1, and asked why were working ball security. I didn't really know what to say because I thought he was joking.. After 3-4 seconds of staring open mouthed at him he tells me ball security is bad to work in practice because it makes the kids think about it, and that's when they fumble.
That was a fun conversation.
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Post by fantom on Jan 29, 2017 14:04:03 GMT -6
We all say dumb things when we're not thinking. Once, at a jamboree in Charlotte we were getting ready to play West Charlotte High when our HC asked where this team was from. When were installing our "Take a safety" play one year our ST set the scenario this way, " Less than a minute left, WE'RE AHEAD BY ONE...". We play in a city stadium that we share with three other city schools. When we play another city school I never really care if we're nominally the home or away team. One year we were taking a different route because our usual route was closed for our HOMECOMING PARADE. On the way I idly asked our HC if were home or away.
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Post by blb on Jan 29, 2017 14:52:03 GMT -6
My second year as a HC - I was 26, still young, dumb, and full of you-know-what - we were doing a 1-on-1-type drill and we got down to the bottom of the roster, so we had two kids, neither of whom was taller than 5-9 or weighed over 140, going at it.
When they finished (meaning neither won and I blew the whistle to mercifully end it), I turned to our DC and said (under my breath or so I thought), "That looked like two old people f-----g!"
Three years later when I left for another job and coaches held a "going away" party (which included Superintendent who hired me) for my wife and I - guess which story was brought to light?
It was 1980. Things were a little different then. But I'm still embarrassed and feel badly about having said it every time I think about it. |
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Post by coachphillip on Jan 29, 2017 19:40:08 GMT -6
I was scouting a team we were going to play the next week. Didn't know much about them. During the game, their defense comes off the field and the DC rips his DT. "Don't give me that sh!t again! What did I say? If it's a pass, get your hands up, put your head down, and scream as loud as you can! No more excuses!"
I had seen all I had to see at that point. Scout trip over.
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Post by coachbdud on Jan 30, 2017 0:04:28 GMT -6
heard someone tell our short DT (who doesn't understand 5'9" DL dont get offers)
that the secret to getting taller is to grab onto a pull up bar and just hang
it stretched you out so you can get taller, told the kid it worked for him
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Post by 3rdandlong on Jan 30, 2017 12:52:39 GMT -6
We have all heard some off the wall things kids have said, what are some that came from coaches that made you scratch your head and just say, "what?" had a coach who said "kids twist their ankles from wearing those ankle socks, they should be wearing long socks" "kids legs get longer when they run track" "Kids get taller from getting on the leaper"(sometimes called a bear, machine weight they would put 200+ pounds on and jump in the air for it to land on their backs. would do their squats on the flat part so they were leaning forward) "those kids don't need supervision, they ain't going to mess up nothing"(on jr high kids lifting in a weight room unsupervised in the morning before school with no adults even near the facility and girls in there with them....) This is the one that got me and had words after practice got resolved pretty quickly-> Had a coach teaching stalk blocking, I told him I wanted them to come off hard 3 steps, get an inside position and buzz their feet, basically play basketball defense(he was a basketball coach) and punch with both hands when they come close...don't lunge or it will be like getting crossed in basketball. I look up they are lunging so hard they are falling to the ground, at break I asked him what he was doing....his reply that still hits me today....."coach, I am going to teach them the right way to do it, then teach what you want." It was not pretty in the coaches office after practice. The next game HS game he sees he comes back and says "their rec's were blocking like you wanted us to do...that stuff works." Same basketball coach "these kids are losing creativity in football because they don't play basketball." after coaching kids in 7th grade (undefeated) and 8th grade he now has them in 9th grade having coached them for 3 years....."these kids don't know anything about basketball, by the time they get to me they should know something" I have some others by this same coach but they start getting dicey Sound like you need to get rid of that guy. |
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lmorris
Sophomore Member
Posts: 195
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Post by lmorris on Jan 30, 2017 13:41:38 GMT -6
lmao that was at my last school and it wasn't from lack of trying.
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Post by nicku on Jan 30, 2017 14:18:11 GMT -6
I remember lining up for equipment hand out my freshman year. Of course, most of us are morons at this point, can't follow directions, all that jazz. One of our coaches goes, "man, dealing with these kids is the ultimate pain." Then our DC goes, "Then you've never rubbed one out using sandpaper."
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Post by larrymoe on Jan 31, 2017 9:46:14 GMT -6
I had a dad tell me..."your son" yes...he was talking about my son "needs to work on his left hand if he's going to continue to play basketball". That was 7th grade. Flash forward.... This guy's son...NEVER TRIED OUT FOR BASKETBALL AT THE HS. My son? Starting guard for the varsity as a junior. (played JV as a frosh and started both those years) Block out the noise. My daughter is a 6th grader, but due to lack of numbers she started on the 7th grade basketball team. Another 6th grader was their star and leading scorer. She (the other girl) fractured her wrist in the early part of the season but was still able to play, but as the PG could only dribble with her left hand. Had one of those hard plastic braces on her right wrist. After one of their few wins she was the leading scorer and I said to our head HS boys bball coach (who is also our AD)- That girl had a really nice game. His response? "She needs to learn to dribble with her right hand if she wants to be any good in HS". |
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Post by mnike23 on Jan 31, 2017 12:56:13 GMT -6
I remember lining up for equipment hand out my freshman year. Of course, most of us are morons at this point, can't follow directions, all that jazz. One of our coaches goes, "man, dealing with these kids is the ultimate pain." Then our DC goes, "Then you've never rubbed one out using sandpaper." that sir, is the line of the year!!! i will be stealing that. forever. hahaha |
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Feb 1, 2017 10:03:16 GMT -6
My second year as a HC - I was 26, still young, dumb, and full of you-know-what - we were doing a 1-on-1-type drill and we got down to the bottom of the roster, so we had two kids, neither of whom was taller than 5-9 or weighed over 140, going at it.
When they finished (meaning neither won and I blew the whistle to mercifully end it), I turned to our DC and said (under my breath or so I thought), "That looked like two old people f-----g!"
Three years later when I left for another job and coaches held a "going away" party (which included Superintendent who hired me) for my wife and I - guess which story was brought to light?
It was 1980. Things were a little different then. But I'm still embarrassed and feel badly about having said it every time I think about it. My DC calls it "drunk turtle sex"...aka everything is slow and sloppy |
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Post by runitupthemiddle on Feb 1, 2017 19:57:12 GMT -6
My second year as a HC - I was 26, still young, dumb, and full of you-know-what - we were doing a 1-on-1-type drill and we got down to the bottom of the roster, so we had two kids, neither of whom was taller than 5-9 or weighed over 140, going at it.
When they finished (meaning neither won and I blew the whistle to mercifully end it), I turned to our DC and said (under my breath or so I thought), "That looked like two old people f-----g!"
Three years later when I left for another job and coaches held a "going away" party (which included Superintendent who hired me) for my wife and I - guess which story was brought to light?
It was 1980. Things were a little different then. But I'm still embarrassed and feel badly about having said it every time I think about it. My DC calls it "drunk turtle sex"...aka everything is slow and sloppy Blahahhahaha |
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eagleoc
Sophomore Member
Posts: 208
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Post by eagleoc on Feb 2, 2017 10:56:57 GMT -6
At my previous school we played a team who was in their first year of having a varsity program. Everything was a little sketchy: playing on a middle school field, lines on the field look like they were painted by a drunk, No press box, instead they rented 2 cherry pickers, one for each team.
We proceed to beat them pretty handily, but we played a lot of subs and kept the score respectable. As we were shaking hands with them one of their assistants, who was also their AD said something to the effect of "Boy, I hope we don't have to play you again!"
Their assistant coach/AD didn't realize we were in their district and would play them every year.
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Post by CS on Feb 2, 2017 11:54:40 GMT -6
Head Jr high coach at the end of a good hard-fought win gave a big speech about how tough the kids played and preceded to ask everyone to bow their heads.
It was going along fine until he said,"I just want to thank the lord for these hard boys..." was all I had not to make a scene.
edit: cue the syrup jokes
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Post by 50slantstrong on Feb 12, 2017 23:37:18 GMT -6
A former assistant I worked with once told me "we never got concussions back in the day because we had stronger necks than kids these days".
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Post by coachwoodall on Feb 13, 2017 11:11:10 GMT -6
I'm going to rag my HC. He always has a pregame speech, right before we go run through the banner. It's his thing. It is usually mostly off the cuff, but he kind of has a 'theme' he works out in his head. We have a 'script' we follow for pregame -- who goes out first to warm up and when, what time to be back inside the locker room, time to run through the banner, etc....
He tries to time it up, but sometimes we get 'off script' when we have to leave the field early because there is something going on like fall sports recognition, etc...
Well anyhoo, big game this year he is on a roll trying to eat a little time, but his grand finale was the Clemson BYOG -- Bring Your Own Guts
He gets to the end and it's time to go out, "TONIGHT'S GOING TO ONE OF THOSE GAME WHERE IT'S BYOB....... YOU GOING TO HAVE TO DIG DOWN DEEP BECAUSE TONIGHT IS BOYB............ I MEAN BYOB...G; YOU KNOW THAT CLEMSON THING!! LET'S GO!!
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Post by fantom on Feb 13, 2017 17:18:20 GMT -6
In college during his pregame speech our coach tells us that if anybody makes a tackle inside of the twenty on a kickoff he'd give him a dollar. A WHOLE DOLLAR!
What really made it funny was that this would have required an almost superhuman effort. Polish Joe, our kicker, on a good day with the wind was barely kicking it to the twenty.
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Post by silkyice on Feb 13, 2017 19:05:57 GMT -6
I had a dad tell me..."your son" yes...he was talking about my son "needs to work on his left hand if he's going to continue to play basketball". That was 7th grade. Flash forward.... This guy's son...NEVER TRIED OUT FOR BASKETBALL AT THE HS. My son? Starting guard for the varsity as a junior. (played JV as a frosh and started both those years) Block out the noise. My daughter is a 6th grader, but due to lack of numbers she started on the 7th grade basketball team. Another 6th grader was their star and leading scorer. She (the other girl) fractured her wrist in the early part of the season but was still able to play, but as the PG could only dribble with her left hand. Had one of those hard plastic braces on her right wrist. After one of their few wins she was the leading scorer and I said to our head HS boys bball coach (who is also our AD)- That girl had a really nice game. His response? "She needs to learn to dribble with her right hand if she wants to be any good in HS". Wow! |
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Post by larrymoe on Feb 13, 2017 19:47:03 GMT -6
A former assistant I worked with once told me "we never got concussions back in the day because we had stronger necks than kids these days". To a degree, some current studies may point to him being partially correct. |
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Post by s73 on Feb 13, 2017 21:23:33 GMT -6
Several years ago I coached probably the least talented varsity team in my career. Anyway, we called a play in which the QB pulled the ball after a dive fake and ran down the sideline. This kid (yes he was our QB) ran about a 5.5 + 40. I mean this team was bad.
Anyhow, he faked everybody out and was all alone. He's running & 5 minutes later he's still running. My assistant says "man he's so frickin slow!!!"
Not that big a deal right? Problem was he said it in the booth next to the film guy who had the volume turned on.
I being unaware of it arranged for our usual film session on Monday & I'm sure you see where this is going. Comment was broadcast in front of the whole team.
It was really awkward.
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Post by 50slantstrong on Feb 14, 2017 10:33:53 GMT -6
In 2014 the team I coached was good except we lost the league title game in overtime and as a result we would have to play a league champion in the first round of the playoffs. We ended up drawing the school that had been ranked #1 in the division most of the year. Tough draw right?
We were in our Sunday film session watching their week 10 game as a staff. Not even 15 plays in, this team is every bit as advertised. QB who ended up going to USC, offensive line firing off the ball, all 11 defenders in the frame when a tackle is made, etc. Another coach blurts out "these guys ain't ish. This division ain't ish. This ring is ours." He would tell his position group stuff like that all the time.
Needless to say, we ended up losing and by January we'd posted a help wanted for a new coach at his position LOL
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Post by rosey65 on Feb 14, 2017 10:53:42 GMT -6
Getting ready for our 1st home playoff game in years a few years ago. We had an RB coach, was a bit out there. Two stories from that game...
He asked to give the pre-game speech. He had driven the 3 hours to our opponent the week before so he could buy one of their team t-shirts. He wrapped the tshirt on a stick, planned to soak it in gas, and light it as the culmination of his speech. A few problems...he used a gas-oil mix, then left it in the field house for 30 minutes before speech time. Kids are gagging, all our eyes are burning, and then it wont burst into flames...the oil made it burn slowly, like diesel, and it gave off a think cloud of smoke, still into the FH. Also, the speech wasnt any good.
Fast-forward to 2nd qtr..I had a white board for my OL, used the same one all year, it was kinda treasured by my OL, it was getting ragged by playoffs. I bought a new one for the playoffs, but wanted to make a scene while I could. Just before halftime, I'm just starting me pre-rehearsed speech that ends with me breaking the board, the HC walks up behind me, yells something, and puts his hand thru the board...the OL faces dropped, none more than mine (we still laugh about him unknowingly ruining my speech). We go in to halftime, I strut out of the office with the new board, the OL laugh, it lightens the mood in a close game. 3rd qtr...ineffective on offense, the aforementioned RB coach busts into my OL huddle on the sideline, screaming incoherently, then grabs the NEW whiteboard and Donkey Kong-smashes the thing into smithereens. I still remember my LT staring at it, shoulders drooping with each smash, quietly saying "but...thats our new board...why are you doing that??"
That guy made it almost 1 more year...we sucked the next season, he rampaged in the HC's office at halftime on game 9, never stepped foot on campus again
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Post by silkyice on Feb 14, 2017 11:22:09 GMT -6
Getting ready for our 1st home playoff game in years a few years ago. We had an RB coach, was a bit out there. Two stories from that game... He asked to give the pre-game speech. He had driven the 3 hours to our opponent the week before so he could buy one of their team t-shirts. He wrapped the tshirt on a stick, planned to soak it in gas, and light it as the culmination of his speech. A few problems...he used a gas-oil mix, then left it in the field house for 30 minutes before speech time. Kids are gagging, all our eyes are burning, and then it wont burst into flames...the oil made it burn slowly, like diesel, and it gave off a think cloud of smoke, still into the FH. Also, the speech wasnt any good. Fast-forward to 2nd qtr..I had a white board for my OL, used the same one all year, it was kinda treasured by my OL, it was getting ragged by playoffs. I bought a new one for the playoffs, but wanted to make a scene while I could. Just before halftime, I'm just starting me pre-rehearsed speech that ends with me breaking the board, the HC walks up behind me, yells something, and puts his hand thru the board...the OL faces dropped, none more than mine (we still laugh about him unknowingly ruining my speech). We go in to halftime, I strut out of the office with the new board, the OL laugh, it lightens the mood in a close game. 3rd qtr...ineffective on offense, the aforementioned RB coach busts into my OL huddle on the sideline, screaming incoherently, then grabs the NEW whiteboard and Donkey Kong-smashes the thing into smithereens. I still remember my LT staring at it, shoulders drooping with each smash, quietly saying "but...thats our new board...why are you doing that??" That guy made it almost 1 more year...we sucked the next season, he rampaged in the HC's office at halftime on game 9, never stepped foot on campus again That is hilarious! |
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Post by dodson10 on Feb 14, 2017 13:29:31 GMT -6
New head coach was having a meeting with the parents before the football season. Introduces the staff and starts to talk about how things will go. He was trying to convey that we were going to be tough on the kids, but still care about them. He said, "we are going to get in your kids britches, but we're going to love 'em up at the same time". Everyone in the gym is looking at each other to make sure that they heard him right. None of us coaches can keep a straight face for the next 10 minutes or so of the talk. When he gets done we tell him what he said and he is completely mortified. We always brought it up when someone was coaching a kid hard.
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Post by fantom on Feb 27, 2017 10:05:33 GMT -6
Yesterday I was talking to one of our former players who became a very high profile QB for an ACC school. He still lives in that town. He doesn't coach for a living but a guy that he knew asked him to work out his son, an aspiring QB. After the workout the dad asked him if there was anything specific that he should work on. He told the dad, "You should work at finding him a different position".
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