Can't yell at kids these days??

Wow, so now I sexually harrassed the kid?? Nice... you sound like my HC.

It all comes down to wanted or unwanted contact.

I put my arm around my players i am a 'hands on' coach. But if i kid even hints at 'no' i have to back off.

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I say that if we go around walking on egg shells then shame on us. I don't feel like air raider was out of line. I feel like the hc was a pu$$y and was out of line by allowing a kid to act that way and get away with it. Don't be afraid of the parents man. You will be a crap coach for it

Keep coaching hard. Some kids and families can handle it, others can't. I have had a few meetings of this nature this year alone. I wish my admistration would just sack up and not entertain these jokers. Can we let our players talk back to us in front of other players and mostly get away with it? Sitting him accomplishes nothing, he already doesn't really want to play. If you have a meeting, remind the mother that she is an enabler. I'll bet he back talks her at home and there are no repercussions.

And 33coach, wtf are you talking about with this sexual harassment talk? Sexual harassment requires a unwanted sexual advance or sexual contact.

Coachrush,

What is your definition of coaching hard? How would have handled the above situation? If coaching hard means putting your hands on a kid in a confrontational manner, then I think you're setting yourself up for trouble.

FCC

No...... unwanted contact of any kind can be classified as sexual harassment.

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Air, I am fairly certain you aren't in potential trouble for telling the kid to pay attention. It is a little more accurate to say you are potentially in trouble for making a violent and threatening innuendo ("If you are going to hit me, it better be hard") and physically restraining a student (I grabbed his jersey to keep him from walking away) when there was no legal need to (he was not a danger to himself or others).

Let's deconstruct this from another point of view. You coach at a tiny private school, so chances are the crowds are somewhat sparse. Kid screws up by not paying attention. Is startled and nervous when he runs onto field. Probably doesn't feel great about that. Runs onto field in isolated situation and draws flag, so EVERYONE knows it was him. Pretty embarrassing. You jump kid. Kid now feels ( probably accurately) that everyone in the stands was watching him and listening to him get yelled at while they mark off the yardage. Embarrassment kind of turns into a "fight or flight" type thing.

You punt.. kid comes back to sideline, still embarrassed and sulking, and YOU go back over to tell him something negative. Basically tell him he shouldn't be playing football. He says something, and tries to walk away and end the confrontation (which he knows everyone in the sparse crowd can see). You grab his jersey, preventing him from exiting the embarrassment. He tells you to not touch him...and you tell him to watch his mouth. Then you read his body language, and ascertain things may get violent, you so make the innuendo that you suspect this, and if it does, then he better hit you hard (inferring that if you are capable, you will retaliate and act violently towards him)

Not being judgmental here. I have had a HELLUVA time dealing with kids (younger than yours) talking back, disrespecting other adults (including myself) etc. in the school setting. I KNOW exactly how you were feeling at the time..the added tensions of the game, the pressure/stresses..the increased adrenaline, the WTF moment of the kid starting to laugh. But I have learned to deconstruct these events from a more neutral point of view...and that has really helped.



True story...I WAS that sophomore. We were 1-8 at the time, very poorly coached, very VERY VERY poorly athleted..dressed out 17 kids to start the year . As I stated in another thread, when I was a soph, last game of season, we are down by 1 (or 2) and the other team has ball..they are kneeling out the clock, they FUMBLE with like 10 seconds left. We are going nuts on the sideline, high fives, excitement. Hugs, Jumping up and down etc. We run on our xp/pat team to kick and yours truly is not aware...

Now, my story has a somewhat happy ending, we got very lucky because we should have been flagged for illegal formation. We made the kick, we won..and I bet I am one of like 4 or 5 people who remember that. But trust me, had that happened..and then I got jumped by a coach etc....I don't know how I would have responded....

33coach---I think you are slightly off on your interpretation. Fairly certain there needs to be SOME sexual nature to the contact to be SEXUAL harassment. Now, that doesn't mean the contact is acceptable if it is NOT sexual in nature, just that it doesn't fall under sexual harassment law.

In the USMC a drill Instructor can no longer touch you. He can however get right near your face and yell. I suggest you do that instead of grabbing a kid. there is a difference between using your hands to guide a player in proper technique but to grab a player is another thing all together.

had this happen years ago with a phenomenal athlete who was our punter. A botched snap in our end zone and he doesn't cover it...our opponent does for a touchdown.

Coaching staff jumps him before he leaves the field and returns the favor with a gesture. Its going to be a showdown in the lockerroom because WE'RE kicking him out of the game


ultimately it was our fault because thats our product (we never taught him what to do in that situation)

don't let it escalate to threats or intimidation

easier said than done, but that isn't effective management. You didn't didn't appreciate that treatment as a man from your AD 2 years ago, neither should your young adults. Kids are gonna screw up.....its our job as coaches to make sure personnel is accounted for snaps ahead of time

kid should probably be replaced for future games, though, because he's not dependable (pay atttention)

now, I'm not saying you're WRONG, but I am saying you put yourself in a position to be reproached.
If you find yourself having to revert to threatening, intimidating, and blowing up on kids on GAME NIGHT, then I'd say you've wasted a TON of time during the week of practice

Thanks for all the responses... while I do respect the views... I do not agree with most of them... agree to disagree I guess..

I did not grab the kid in anger... did not have angry intentions when I approached him the second time... we punted, I coached the series of defense and then went over to make the point to him that he is going to be yelled at in the game of football and he needs to get over it and not talk back...

When he walked away I was not mad, did not show anger, did not show aggression...

I will not appologize for this before monday or on monday... I make $35k a year to coach a game I love... That same salary can be earned by the manager at the local fast food joint...

That figure is not worth taking crap from little punk kids... won't happen... not by me anyways...

I do understand the warning on the grabbing part... and I am sure this thread will make me refrain from it in the future.. but I am NOT sorry for this incident... and never will be.

Air, I think you might want to work on some of your game logistics so this does not happen again. For example, have a coach start calling punt team on 2nd and long. We also use dots for every new team that goes on the field and never have problems.

With your situation I think everything was good until ou grabbed his jersey. Whatever your intent was, that can't be measured, all anyone knows is what they see. I hope everything works out because I certainly believe you.

How about this one fellers? Including the reporter trying to get a word with the coach while he's on the sideline....COACHING!!!

fox40.com/2012/10/19/football-player-who-filed-restraining-order-on-coach-is-booted-off-team/

Ok. I will give my $0.02.
1. I'm with FlingT. Why didn't you have your ST coach calling for punt team on 3rd down? Sorry buddy, but that's on your staff.
2. You shouldn't have said anything about him hitting you. Big mistake.
3. I didn't realize grabbing a jersey was such a big deal. I've done it, but it's been a while. Not b/c I think it's a bad idea but b/c I haven't been in that position.

I smack players on the butts, heads, etc when they make a play, encourage them, etc. Now I'm thinking this may not be such a good idea. I

1. We are only a staff of 3, with 1 in the booth... we are really big on kids staying involved in the game... you will never find a kid on a bench or with a helmet off unless he is injured. We expect them to know what is going on... this kid was not involved in the game.

2. I feel that the kid balling up his fist and poking his chest out at me was the wrong thing to do... I simply made him aware that it would not be the best idea for him to follow through with it.

3. I agree... guess I will approach it differently as well...