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Post by gschwender on Jan 20, 2009 11:59:52 GMT -6
i am from a school that traditionally has had very good athletic programs until just the past 8 years. During that time, we have had 8 head football coaches and in the last 10 years have had 9 different basketball coaches. All through these times the parents have become increasingly rediculous as far as complaining to board members, coaches, administrators all in front of their own kids. The reputation with coaches in the area now is that my school is a coaching graveyard because of the parents themselves. Just recently after a basketball game one parent of a kid went off on another kid in front of other parents, kids on the team and girls that are in their class. Many coaches in the area tell me to jump ship but that will not happen as i have grown up here and figure that if i cannot turn the football program around that no one will be able to. I know that this is a growing concern for all schools, but what is the best way to try to change the attitudes of these parents to the point where their kids' performances are not affected by the attitude of the parents? The biggest issues are that they are saying the coaches suck (no matter who it is) in front of their kids, and making every excuse in the book to make it so that their kids are never wrong. THIS SCHOOL NEEDS AN ENEMA!!!!!!!
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Post by knighter on Jan 20, 2009 12:08:07 GMT -6
Coaches coach
Players play
Ref's ref
Administrators administrate
Parents support kids as fans
Everyone has a role.
If they do not wish to fulfill their role, the balance is thrown off.
I feel for you on this, let me wrap my head around this for a day or two and I will give you some concrete ideas as to how I handled the situation my first 3 years in my former job (which had a lo of similar problems).
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Post by justryn2 on Jan 20, 2009 12:31:20 GMT -6
I cannot speak from any practical experience in this type of circumstance but, based on what you're saying, here is how I THINK I would approach this. 1) Identify your team leaders and work with them very closely to get full buy-in to your program. If you have a leadership core (players) that is behind you 100% you've already gone a long way toward getting rid of the poison. 2) Engage the parents and make sure they at least understand your plan. Frankly, I doubt that you could ever get 100% buy-in from the parents but, if they at least understand what you're trying to do, they will be less likely to sabotage your efforts. 3) Be approachable. I truly believe that the best way to keep people from talking behind your back is to make them comfortable talking to you directly. 4) Eliminate any remaining cancers. You're never going to please everyone. Some will bite their tongues and keep from poisoning others on the team; some won't. Those that won't have to be shown the door.
Again, these are not tried and true; just my thoughts on what I would try if I was in a similar situation. I hope this helps.
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Post by fatkicker on Jan 20, 2009 12:41:19 GMT -6
when you have problems like this, it has nothing to do with the parents......it has EVERYTHING to do with the administration....
parents (just like children) will do whatever they are allowed to do.......
if the administration won't allow you to control on-campus problems then you have no hope........now, what they say to their kids at home can't be controlled........
but how they act at pto, booster club meetings, and ball games CAN be controlled by the school......
best solution to this mess is communication......talk to these people.....try to make them understand.......now, that doesn't mean give in........just communicate.........
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Post by coachcb on Jan 20, 2009 13:04:18 GMT -6
I have worked in a couple situations like that and we solved these problems by establishing a system that maximized the athlete's input and minimized the parents.
1. If a player has an issue with something, their first step is to talk to their position coach about it.
2. If there is still an issue, their next step is to talk to the HC and their position coach about it.
3. If the issue still persists, then the player and their parents will set up an appointment with the HC and the position coach.
4. Their final step is for the parents to bring the AD into the situation, where they will have yet another meeting with the HC, the position coach, and any other coaches that may be affected by the situation.
I warn the parents before the season starts that this is how the hierarchy will go. If I hear from the parents before I hear from the player, I WILL NOT ADDRESS IT. If they call the administration before I hear from the player,; I WILL NOT ADDRESS IT.
The key is to make the athletes responsible for the intial communication. Once the kids realize that the lines of communication are open and that the staff is open, everything else generally takes care of itself. If the kids are placated, monmy and daddy will be too.
We will discuss most situations with the kids, including playing time and positions, just because that's the only way to keep those lines of communication running smoothly. It's a pain in the butt to have to discuss these problems with the players, but it's a part of the open door policy. Those conversations are generally never pleasant, but they are honest discussions and the kids know where they stand by the end of it.
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Post by outlawjoseywales on Jan 20, 2009 13:49:23 GMT -6
Wow, great subject here.
Well...sorry, I didn't mean to say your "LIFE" is a subject.
But it is very interesting.
When I see things like what you are describing here, I always look deeper. Sometimes what you see isn't what you are really seeing.
A wise sage once told me "your problem isn't your problem."
I've been a part of more than one reclamation project. They are tough and usually don't work out.
But I will tell you one thing.
If you want to win this, you are going to have to be the "strongman."
"All wool and a yard wide," and carry the "biggest pistol" you can stick in your belt.
I like picture ideas.
But I mean it, if you are going to do this, you will have to dig deep and find out what is really going on with not just only this school, but the community.
Has there been another school built, has their been plant layoffs and transfers, has the community had a recent influx of people from other places, was this school ruled by a tyrant who was finally overthrown.
There's lots of questions.
But you are going to have to be the strongman. Not tough for no reason, and not ego with no substance. Just someone who has the answers, knows what they want to do and won't back down, and won't run when it gets tough.
Not alot of people have that in their gut, maybe you do.
OJW
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Post by bigm0073 on Jan 20, 2009 14:41:26 GMT -6
Well it does start with the administration. If the parents have the ear of the administration it all is for not.... I have been at two schools: Both schools strong AD and Administration... I guess I need it though. Both schools had troubles and they needed to be addressed (One was discipline and academic achievement and my new school had cohesion issues with parents, players, coaches... 5 coaches in four years - you do the math).
In my interviews I outline what I am going to do:
1. Do not discuss playing time or position with parents.
2. Players must air all concerns with coaches.
3. Parents have to know the chain of command - If they go over the top I do not address.
4. 48 hour rule - Will not talk to a parent right after a game (Tensions are high and it is usually not good). Wait 48 hours.
5. I demand grade sheets / study hall and I have high behavioral expectations. Players know they may sit a game or more if they violate team rules.
Now why do the parents accept it - Because they know if they EVER really need anything I will always be there for their son. I hold a college recruiting night focusing the NCAA CLearinghouse (Power Point), I am in constant contact with parents via email or cell phone about colleges and recruiting. The parents know I have their childrens best at heart - kind of a social contract. I have taken hundreds of calls over the years about college, recruiting, school or just concerns parents may have. They know they can come to me when it is important.
When it comes to BS playing time, position and other horse {censored} I will not even dignify it. The key is that if the administration does not support it does not work.
WHen I interview I am very up front and they know what they are getting so I guess they are ready for it. Believe me I have a TON of know it all parents at my school. They need to keep their distance and not try and disrupt our team about petty crap!!
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Post by touchdowng on Jan 20, 2009 16:48:00 GMT -6
Sounds like you have a soft administration. Until that changes nothing else will.
If your admin has a backbone they are the ones who can address the problems that you present. Maybe they aren't getting the proper support from the district people. Maybe they're afraid to address it for fear of lack of support from central office.
The buck has to stop somewhere and as coaches, there really isn't much we can do without the "suits" backing us up.
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Post by gschwender on Jan 20, 2009 16:49:29 GMT -6
Well we have a new admin. (AD/Principal) and they are really trying but it is like getting hit with a title wave. One of the bright spots is that the soph class is very leadership oriented and have experience from playing up in the past two years but there is definately jealosy with the upper classman. Also with the parents numbers are down due to the fact that "the coaches suck" are too easy on them/too hard on them--basically it boils down to parents content on bitching no matter what goes on. Also there is a group that follows around this one guy who thinks he can coach (and does have some knowledge in his own right) but has undermined every coach in this school since his kids got into high school. Was a middle school basketball coach for a couple of years (when this sophomore class was there and pretty good) but when the talent dried up there he quit and now is trying to run the girls basketball coach out so that he can get the job--is not even a teacher (state on mo requires it for hc)--needless to say that his daughter is on the team-went so far that his wife applied for the job when there was not even an opening if you can beleive that crap!! Admin will do the job-but numbers on the fb team will dwindle if i get it b/c do not put up with crap. Also my dad was a hc (football) here for years and is in the mo football HOF and many of these parents had him as a coach-but seem to forget how it was when they were in high school. And the board really likes to micromanage when parent run to them bitching about things they tend to run directly to the admin and bitch at them about coaches
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Post by touchdowng on Jan 20, 2009 17:22:14 GMT -6
Sounds like your new Principal/AD has his work cut out for him. Does he have the backing of the school board to help re-create a winning culture?
If not, the situation is only going to continue until somebody is willing to take it head on with the support of the board.
Parents have somehow "learned" how to manipulate the athletic program at your school and the same people who "taught" them that running and complaining is okay will have to re-educate them on that is no longer okay to do this.
You can take on the symptoms but until the actual problem is addressed/assessed/and fixed all plans will be short lived.
I wouldn't leave the situation. I would want to be somebody who is willing to work to make a difference in order to create a healthy athletic environment for the students. That has to be the focus.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 20, 2009 19:23:57 GMT -6
I think that one of the worse things you can do as a coach is address stuff directly with the parents.. Do everything you can to keep the lines of communication between the kids open, but keep them closed with the parents as long as you can.
I had lots of issues this year with several players and their playing time. It seemed like every week, I was having a conversation with a player about why they weren't playing and what they needed to do to play.
It was a pain in the neck, but I was honest and open with the kids about everything, so I never had a parent involved. They knew exactly why they were or were not playing; in very great detail.
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Post by pcollett on Jan 20, 2009 19:28:09 GMT -6
Man, I feel your pain. I just completed my 2nd year at a school that had won 4 games in the 3 yrs. before I got there. The coaching staff had 3 parents as coaches and I didn't hire any of them. One dad pulled his kid(transferred) before my 1st season.
The star QB's dad was one of the coaches I didn't hire. His mom was the president of the football boosters. She basically tried to tell me how to run the program. When I stood up to her they were not happy. We went 5-5 my first year, but the QB transferred. What's worse, I'm convinced the QB's dad was influential in two more of our better players transferring.
We went 2-8 last year. The highlight was when the grandfather of the 2nd string QB approached me after the 1st game-got in my face, cursing, etc. I filed assualt charges-went to court, the grandfather can't come to anymore games.
My wife has had comments directed at her at games.
Numerous other bad situations. A member of the booster club e-mails the principal regularly and tells him what a bad job I'm doing.
It seems that the parents don't want their kids held to a higher standard. They think their kids should be given something for nothing.
Thankfully, I have the support of the admin. I have to believe that I was put in this position for a reason, and have faith that if I stick to my guns and do things right it will all turn around.
I take solace from opposing coaches that have told me that our teams compete harder, are more prepared, and better disciplined than they were before I got there. I'm sticking it out.
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Post by bigm0073 on Jan 20, 2009 20:22:19 GMT -6
Good job coach.
Cut all of the fat and garbage.... To hell with that QB and the parents. You do not need that nonsense. Keep pushing along. You are laying the foundation and in a year or two the all of the crap will be gone.
They have to know WHO THE ALPA MALE IS! Keep it going and continue to root out any other annoying parent who does not know their role. You are doing the right thing. Once they know you will not bow down to pressure and the administration supports you they will eventually do one of two things:
1. Hop to or....
GO away!!
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Post by gschwender on Jan 21, 2009 5:55:42 GMT -6
Sounds like your new Principal/AD has his work cut out for him. Does he have the backing of the school board to help re-create a winning culture? If not, the situation is only going to continue until somebody is willing to take it head on with the support of the board. Parents have somehow "learned" how to manipulate the athletic program at your school and the same people who "taught" them that running and complaining is okay will have to re-educate them on that is no longer okay to do this. You can take on the symptoms but until the actual problem is addressed/assessed/and fixed all plans will be short lived. I wouldn't leave the situation. I would want to be somebody who is willing to work to make a difference in order to create a healthy athletic environment for the students. That has to be the focus. Some of the board members are part of the problem. They really like to micromanage and parents tend to call them first when things are not going their way because they know they (the school board pres. especially) will hop to it. Some of our board members are basically people that have been "screwed" (in their eyes) by coaches in the past so they ran for school board so that they will have a "say" in what goes on when really all they should be doing is voting yea/nea. Like I said before-I'm not leaving under any circumstances because I grew up in this school and the football program (dad was a hc here for 30+ years) and no one on earth is more dedicated to this program-so if I cannot do it no one will be able to. I think that when I am named hc i will have the usual parent/athlete meeting and lay things down but before that happens I will make sure the admin is on the same page and attend a board meeting to make sure THEY know the proper chain of command that I expect for things to turn around because in the past they think chain of command is a neclace they got for Christmas. (They forget the chain part and only here "command") |
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Post by coachjd on Jan 21, 2009 6:25:56 GMT -6
We have had a parent who has made cookies, mini muffins, taken 1000's of pics at games over the past few years for football, basketball and baseball, and started a 50/50 raffle for football and basketball. Her son is a great kid, but not a great athlete and even less drive to work at it in the off-season. This year was her sons senior year and when he was not the starting QB she flipped out. We played her son at WR and even started him most games at WR (Running team and he does a good job of stalk blocking) When she called the first time, I was still not home from the game and she went off on my wife, so when I did get home a few hours later, I find out the phone was ringing every 15 min, but my wife would not answer it. I finally picked up the phone and as she started to lay into me, I come to find out she honestly believed that all the cookies, mini-muffins and pics would entitle her son to be the starting QB. To make a long story short, I explained to her entitlement will get her son no where in life and that if you ever call me or my wife again, I will be cleaning your sons locker out. The next Monday she is in at school to talk to the principal and AD and thank GOD, they had my back and even told her she no longer needs to have a field pass to be on the field to take pictures.
My admin has had its moments for not having our backs, but with this one they had our backs all the way.
Admin is key!!!!
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Post by bigm0073 on Jan 21, 2009 7:08:43 GMT -6
There you go. Strong Admin is a must!!
My booster club president came to me in the pre-season and asked "What does NIck need to do to start" . I told her that he needs to perform better in practice. She prodded a little and I stopped her in her tracks.
Her son can be a little bit of "Puss" at times. He can get lazy and slacks off. He gets complacement. After the 3rd game he did win the job. But by week 6 he missed some practice (SIck)... JV back up came in and kicked ass. He ended up taking his spot.
Nick responded really well picked up his intensity and ended being our best OL the last two games of the season.
Keep them parents at arms length and never give in to the booster parents.
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Post by gschwender on Jan 21, 2009 7:27:19 GMT -6
I'm talking more with the School Board than the booster club but that sort of thing has gone on here as well
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Post by casec11 on Jan 21, 2009 7:32:18 GMT -6
In my interviews I outline what I am going to do: 1. Do not discuss playing time or position with parents. 2. Players must air all concerns with coaches. 3. Parents have to know the chain of command - If they go over the top I do not address. 4. 48 hour rule - Will not talk to a parent right after a game (Tensions are high and it is usually not good). Wait 48 hours. 5. I demand grade sheets / study hall and I have high behavioral expectations. Players know they may sit a game or more if they violate team rules. Gschwender, If you implament something like bigm0073s policies (in writing)... it will at least limit the parents going strait to the board. And give the Admin an avenue to back you when they do. |
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Post by bigm0073 on Jan 21, 2009 8:13:50 GMT -6
This is why when you interview you should outline it in detail.
If the administration starts hemming and hawing about it then you know it is NOT the right situation for you.
I know some coaches who think this will scare away people from hiring you. But you have to think are they schools you want to coach at if they can NOT support you?
4 Interviews I had for head coaching -
2 I got
2 I came in second.
If a principal had a problem with what I was doing I would not follow up with them.
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Post by touchdowng on Jan 21, 2009 8:50:35 GMT -6
gschwender
If the board members ran for spot truly to be in control of athletics find out what their vision is.
If their vision doesn't fit your you'll either have to try to outlast them as you either compromise your standards or dodge parental bullets.
You have something vested there with your dad being the former HC and you trying to regenerate the winning ways but timing is such a huge factor that you must do an objective inventory. Is it really fixable? Is it so tainted that it's going to take a generation, or two to fix?
You say you have a pretty good sophomore class. I would see them through and then reevaluate. Until then it would be nice to know exactly what the board wants from their H.S. FB program and then hold them to it.
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Post by coachsky on Jan 21, 2009 8:59:00 GMT -6
I agree completely that the key is support from Admin. I do think the Head Coach has to toe the line and be very consistent in his approach in dealing with parents and players.
I just finished my 3rd year as an assistant with a team. The first year I was there was almost my last. It was a terrible environment: prima donna players, Seniors acting entitled instead of like leaders, parents issues, lack of unity among coaches. I discussed what I saw, so did other coaches, HC took it under advisement, came back and said here's what we are changing. Pretty much decided it was all about character first
Program turned around very quickly. Kids and parents saw the change, bought in, HC was very consistent. Year 2, not a huge success on the field, kind of a rebuilding year. Great year in terms of relationships and having kids buy in. Year 3, best run in the history of the school.
I sit here today really shocked at the change. Is the program perfect? NO. But it's a 7 or 8 out of ten. Things are done right, should be able to win most years, make a decent run every three to five years depending on talent. Kids and parents are going to view it as a good program, quality experience.
Things can change. Quickly.
Simply by the head coach deciding to do things differently. It comes down to what you allow. If you allow certain behaviors, they become the norm. If you or your administration allow parents and players to behave badly, it will happen.
Steps I'd take:
1. Get Admin's Backing / If you can't leave.
2. Prepare a Player/Parent Handbook. Lay down the rules - this can be pretty short 3 to 5 pages.
3. Have them sign off that they know the rules and handbook.
4. Be consistent. Model character.
5. Have fun, get fired up, work hard, realize it's just a game.
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Post by bluecrazy on Jan 21, 2009 9:07:13 GMT -6
OK, lets take this one step further.
What if you have the Administrations backing, but someone on the school board has a problem?
Have you dealt with this one?
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Post by bluecrazy on Jan 21, 2009 9:12:54 GMT -6
Sorry, I did not read far enough. I had parent issues before, and worked it out.
A/D and principle stand behind me.
School board Pres has a problem.
Don't know what will happen, but we'll see.
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Post by senatorblutarsky on Jan 21, 2009 9:42:44 GMT -6
One of the bright spots is that the soph class is very leadership oriented and have experience from playing up in the past two years but there is definately jealosy with the upper classman. Also with the parents numbers are down due to the fact that "the coaches suck" are too easy on them/too hard on them--basically it boils down to parents content on bitching no matter what goes on.
You've kind of described our situation here. We haven't had any real football problems (21 consecutive years in the playoffs helps that)... other than low numbers because we have a jr and sr class full of pu$$ies- but I hear it constantly in basketball (where we are 2-8 currently).
I've been the HC here for 12 years- and have been AD for 6. We've lost 1 coach since I've been AD (who resigned on her own to continue graduate school).
I am considered the "do nothing" AD... the guy who "just doesn't listen". I consider that a HUGE compliment.
Truth is, I do hear out parents, but only if they arrange a meeting (I've had TWO in 6 years). Ranting after a game is not a meeting and I discount it. If my aloofness gets brought to the board (which it has), I simply point out that I am following the BOARD POLICY- and if the board wants me to do something different then they need to change the policy, because as a professional I am to adhere to that policy.
Generally, the problem isn't with the board policy- but how closely it is followed. Whether an administrator or coach- we need to find all the loopholes that back us- because the parents and kids will find those that support them. For example,we have a 24 hour cooling off period for those who wish to complain after a game- it is board policy- and I do not even acknowledge the ranting idiots at basketball games-and I will tell them that (minus the "ranting idiot" part... I'm professional about it ;D).
I've seen too many good people with great success lose jobs over petty and stupid issued because the higher-ups have no spine.
Listen to reason (in the rare cases that crops up), but be firm and get all the board policy you can get in your own corner- a board member who goes against his/her own policy can very easily be voted off.
Finally, I've always been of the mindset that I can get a job any where and if they do not want me here- fine. Perhaps I'll get a chance to beat their a$$ someday. For me, that has been a very healthy way to look at things.
Goodluck.
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Post by nohuddlecoach on Jan 21, 2009 13:07:55 GMT -6
Lots of good stuff here. Couple things i do. One thing is a father son retreat with the sniors and their dads and our entire staff. We do father/son stuff, and leadership activties for seniors. I take the the oppurtunity to meet with the dads on several occasions for what i call getting on the same page. I tell them what i want from the parents and how our program works. Then i put them in charge of parents. Their the parent police. They love this role. I keep a couple of guys that i trust to relay to me whats going on throughout the year, who is disgruntled, etc...
I meet with parents by appointment only and never after games. In these meetings i have a 5 minute rule and tell them that ahead of time. For 5 minutes ill listen only. When their finished i respond or, i tell them i can't make you happy, explain why and refer them to my AD(i know im in the right when i do this).
I never have a conversation that starts with a parent saying...." I don't want my son to know i'm here..." I tell them when he knows whats up we will talk.
Best thing ive ever done is to have an open and transparent program, parents want to come to practice and watch, come on. We have nothing to hide, feel confident in how we are treating kids. If you feel the same way... you have nothing but confidence in your situation. Act accordingly.
Last thing, i document everything. Every meeting with a kid or parents, every discipline problem, every incident or punishment handed out. We do this in a notebook for every kid that also includes his academic work and grades from football games, his goal sheets, and notes from exit meetings.
Best thing i can say is cover your bases, be open to a point, be honest always and go work in confidence.
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Post by knighter on Jan 21, 2009 15:59:39 GMT -6
okay I have put together my thoughts somewhat, although I may tend to ramble a tad. (so I apologize on the front end) 1. You will win them over with consistency of effort, and care for the good of the program and their kids. 2. Do not waver in your convictions, what you believe to be important is what is important in your program. Do what you believe in, and eventually it will win people over. 3. Do not fall in to the "me against them" trap. Find every chance to gather the flock (players/parents/administration/boosters/casual fans/etc) and lead them all. 4. Find some who believe in you and actively let them help. The problem in society is that the people who are not satisfied or have a gripe make the most noise, your supporters generally are not vocal. You need to make that paradigm switch the other way. You need to ask your supporters to be as vocal or more vocal than your detractors. Letters to the editor in support of you can go a long way. 5. If the PLAYERS support you, than that is ALL that is important. (Sometimes the players parents may not, but he might..and if does who cares about the parents?) I survived 2 petitions to fire me in my first 2 years at my former job. Why did I battle? The players supported me 100%. They KNEW I loved them, and cared about them, and understood that my job was to do what was best for the program, even if it meant that PT for some might not be at the level they thought it should be. The supportive group of players ran some of the non-supporters out of the program (which made us better). These petitions were out there even as we were winning district titles, breaking school records in every offensive and defensive categories, and making the state playoffs with a group of athletes the former (very popular and loved by all in the community and school)coach felt would not be able to get it done. He left as he thought the cupboard was bare. I WON WITH THE KIDS HE LEFT BEHIND. It was not until the 2nd of 3 consecutive undefeated regular seasons that I began to win over some of the non-supporters. And some of them I never did win over until I left and the program fell apart. Here are some of the things I did (linking you to an article I spoke on at a clinic). Reason I am wanting you to look at this is I did more than just "set these up" I used it as a forum to talk about how much I cared for the kids I coached, used it to talk about what I felt was important in our program, what I thought the great life lessons being learned from our sport were applicable in situations that came up). In other words I used some of these things as a chance to be my own booster club (not tooting my own horn kind of stuff, but to change the perception the community had of me) coachhuey.proboards42.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=gentopics&thread=918&page=1#6601These are some of my ideas...not saying they work in all situations, nor would they work in all communities. But they did work for me...and not one of them is an original idea. I begged borrowed and stole from the guys I respected in this business, I was in your shoes (just didn't have this great board to get advice from). |
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Post by coachcb on Jan 21, 2009 18:07:01 GMT -6
And, unfortunately, there are some areas where you just aren't going to win the parents over.
For example, the high school I used to coach at was terrible in this regard; even when the program was winning.
They had a HC in football that took them to the state title game his first year in the program; the year before they hadn't won a single game. His teams missed the playoffs two seasons, out of the 13 that he was there. He made it to the state title game one more time and was a regular in the semifinals. The parents in that town hated him and spent a lot of time trying to run him out. He finally got fed up and retired from coaching and the program hasn't won more than 4 games since he left.
The former head basketball coach is considered one of the best to ever go through the state. In the 19 years he was there, they missed the playoffs ONCE, played for the state title a dozen times and won the whole thing ten times. The parents didn't like him either and they ran him out of coaching. A group of them got together, put together a petition, and the administration gave him one more year and then told him to resign or be fired.
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Post by outlawjoseywales on Jan 22, 2009 15:36:00 GMT -6
Wow CB,
They sounds like a crappy town, man.
I know a town like this one, it is a roughneck place, they've run every coach out of town since I can remember.
It is a papermill town, so it physically stinks there.
But the people fight all the time, they fight in church, in town, in school, on the school board-it's just one of those places. Looks like you found their twin.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 22, 2009 16:11:04 GMT -6
Wow CB, They sounds like a crappy town, man. I know a town like this one, it is a roughneck place, they've run every coach out of town since I can remember. It is a papermill town, so it physically stinks there. But the people fight all the time, they fight in church, in town, in school, on the school board-it's just one of those places. Looks like you found their twin. Yeah, it's a difficult place to coach in; it's a very wealthy community that's been suffering through a long period of "entitlement". The coaches I descibed above had success because they had a fantastic administration that would go to bat for the coaches on most issues. There were some administration changes a few years back and things went downhill from there. I coached within the town for 4 years and decided I needed to make a change when I was called to task by the AD for "only playing the black kids." Yup, I did, I started all two of them. |
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Post by coachinghopeful on Jan 22, 2009 21:55:03 GMT -6
And, unfortunately, there are some areas where you just aren't going to win the parents over. For example, the high school I used to coach at was terrible in this regard; even when the program was winning. They had a HC in football that took them to the state title game his first year in the program; the year before they hadn't won a single game. His teams missed the playoffs two seasons, out of the 13 that he was there. He made it to the state title game one more time and was a regular in the semifinals. The parents in that town hated him and spent a lot of time trying to run him out. He finally got fed up and retired from coaching and the program hasn't won more than 4 games since he left. The former head basketball coach is considered one of the best to ever go through the state. In the 19 years he was there, they missed the playoffs ONCE, played for the state title a dozen times and won the whole thing ten times. The parents didn't like him either and they ran him out of coaching. A group of them got together, put together a petition, and the administration gave him one more year and then told him to resign or be fired. Wow... I wish someone would start a "Worst Meddling Parents Stories" thread, if for nothing than entertainment and educational purposes. I have a personal grudge against parents like that from my playing days. If you want to hear one of the craziest stories of meddling parents I can imagine, read on... When I played in HS, our starting QB was a great athlete--could have been Div 1A at a few different positions--but his parents pumped his ego up so much that he became a team cancer. His mother sounds like the mom in coachjd's post to a T, although this one was different. This one had "connections" and an administration who took HER side. You see, she was also a teacher at the school (no one, including fellow teachers, liked her). Plus the kid's father was on the schoolboard and an alderman, and his grandparents had a lot of money and basically bankrolled the booster club and local politics by themselves. When their kid (an only, adopted child) wanted to play a sport, they made sure he wasn't just starting--they made sure he was "the star" from day 1. The kid was starting QB on varsity as a soph, deservedly, and our team made its first playoff appearance in school history running a doubleslot flexbone--we had 2 very good upperclassmen at tailback. The kid was happy with that and was honeslty a great teammate then, but his parents weren't. All season long they were harrassing our HC and anyone who would listen that we should throw more and build the whole offense around their son and his cousin (who was our only WR with any real speed, but he couldn't catch a cold). One of them would show up at practice at least once a week to "observe" and then meet with our HC afterwards privately. God only knows what was said. The next year, our best tailback/LB (The Conf Def POY) had graduated. Our HC named their favorite assistant on staff OC (the OC was also well connected and a fellow alderman), and we proceeded to limp our way to 3-7 with a complicated multiple spread that probably confused us more than our opponents. Our QB got it in his head that he was the only one on our team with any talent. During spring practice, with myself and another lineman at the lunch table, he whined about how he was going to "be running for my damn life again this year" and then ripped one of our WRs for being too slow and having "hands of $hit." He threw a hissy fit in the locker room after we got blown out by our big rival in the 3rd game and blamed us (his OL) for it. Meanwhile his cousin led the conference in receptions, but he probably dropped twice as many as he caught. Our completion percentage was horrible, as those 2 constantly freelanced and played sloppy backyard football against some of the best in our state. Once his father actually appeared in our locker room at halftime to tell us if we'd all just play harder and rally around those two, we'd win. We lost that game 35-18, IIRC. Well, obviously it was our HC's fault, since he had only won 11 games in 4 years with such a once-in-a-lifetime-player, so the QB's parents and the backstabbing OC they loved got him fired. The next season we had a ton of talent, a huge win over the #4 team in our state, and made the playoffs again, but we were always inexplicably passing in the 4th quarter of close games, even when we had been successfully running all over those teams earlier. I never understood why and neither did a lot of my teammates. After senior night, I found out. His mother had actually been given a headset and was telling our OC what to call! When we had a lead early in the 4th against a team we hadn't beaten in 9 years, she was ordering us to throw short in order to pad her son's (still lousy) completion percentage (his dad was our statkeeper). When we were behind, she was telling us to throw because her son "will win it for you!" After the season, the kid made All-State as an Athlete and signed with the local 1-AA school, but he quit after 3 days of practice because they wouldn't name him the starting QB as a true freshman (I had class with a guy on the team who said he screamed at the coaches over it). That team returned a record setting soph QB and was a year removed from the I-AA playoff. Despite graduating almost the entire offense and half the defense, our old school had an identical record the following year. Their playcalling became strangely coherent... At least I've not seen any coaches on here say it's ever gotten to that point with their teams... yet. |
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