Dumbest thing you've ever heard from a fellow coach

"I'm not coaching under a effing foreigner" Well, he ended up being right so I don't know if it counts as stupid

dumbest thing I said was "ya'll get out of there"

basketball tournament out of town (thank goodness) we had a head basketball who likes to pull our players out whenever we were shooting free throws, his rationale was that we weren't likely to get the rebound on a miss anyway and we didn't want to get beat on a fast break after a miss........so I'm the JV dude and I don't know much but I want to look cool so I do it to...only at this particular tournament it was the other team that was shooting free throws, my dumb ass says "ya'll get out of there" and removed my own rebounders, the kid from the other school looked at me like I was an idiot then blasted the ball off the backboard, got his own rebound, walked up and laid the ball in.......tough one

Story time!

Our high school coach would make us help with the youth team a couple of times during the season which was about 45 mins after the varsity practices would finish. No big deal, right?
So I was offering my services to the community and I kid you not, two of the Youth team "coaches" were getting into a legit argument over the numbering techniques for the DL (The youth HC and one of the youth assistants).
They were arguing the difference between a 1 technique and a 2i technique and what it should be called when you line up on the inside shoulder of the guard.

This lasted for a solid 10 minutes...this same team also finished 0-8 that season and you could tell why. I just took the kids and ran some tackling circuits with them while the two guys were STILL fighting it out. It was a very successful day.

Running over my kid with a gator would definitely do the trick. What a dope!

I've heard some dumb things but mostly from new and young coaches, and I wasn't much different at that age so I can't mention them legitimately.

This guy, however, is actually older and more "experienced" than me:

We had an OC who thought he should've been the DC and every Friday upstairs he would let me know. There was one game at the end of the season where he explained that we should've been in a 50 cover 3 against a certain team and drew it up. I countered by drawing up the fact we were in a 4-2-5, 3 robber with the Sam in a 9. It was literally the same exact defense, the only difference being the title of the positions guys were in. Same jobs, same alignment, etc. He said it was stupid that we put an end inside the tight end, as opposed to a "tackle" because the end was going to get crushed. LOL the biggest guy we had on that team might have been 225 lbs soaking wet. Sorry a-hole, I'll go talk to the GM and see if we can draft a war daddy defensive tackle.

The playoff game that year was against a team that ran power read. He couldn't grasp the concept that the pulling guard was looping to the backer; he insisted that guard was supposed to kick out the end, he just kept messing up. Of course Friday rolls around and he's got a billion and a half ideas on how to play it, and then when I tried to explain why it's flawed because that guard is not supposed to kick out the end, he said "well that's not a real play or concept. We better bash these guys because they're running a fake offense"

I know a guy who GA'd for Spike Dykes at Texas Tech... One time Coach Dykes was drawing an offensive play up on the board. When he drew the defense, an assistant tried to correct him that he had somebody misplaced, a Sam, Will, Strong safety, I'm not quite sure.



Spike Dykes responded to the assistant "it's just a f---ing letter, are certain letters unf---ing blockable"

The first dumb thing that comes to mind for me comes from our middle school "strength coach" who basically just runs the workouts. He got put in charge of it simply because he is a big guy, you can tell he lifts frequently, and that's about it.

Well I have heard quite a few dumb things from him this year in the weight room, but the dumbest is probably when he told our kids while doing bench press. He said "go ahead and bounce that bar off of your chest and generate some momentum, you don't need to go super slow". I kind of looked around like what the hell did he just say? And I wondered if maybe he slipped up and meant something else, but he then made sure to tell each group that rotated through the same exact comments.

I hope you corrected that terrible advice?

This may also fall under the D-Bag category, but I coached with a guy who, when we played at his Alma Mater's stadium, decided to give a motivational pre-game speech. The quote was "This is MY field. I {censored}*d on this field."
He's currently on the school board in a neighboring district. (Apparently our kids weren't motivated. We got killed)

If you didn’t want to talk to him why did you?

It still makes me mad. It made me mad just type that out. I've never wanted to physically harm another coach more than I did at that point in time.

Yeah. In our school, the “r” word is basically treated like the “n” word.

The last head coach I worked for was like a bad sitcom character. He was literally the dumbest adult I have ever met. When I got there, the staff had a running list of all of the crazy things he had said. Some football related, some not. I thought it was kind of rude until being around him for a season. Here's a couple examples:

I show up the night before fall camp because I had moved from out of state. I get to practice things are a little unorganized but basically normal. At one point I look around and the head coach is gone. I ask another coach where he is at. They said he went home to let his dogs out. I don't believe them and think they are messing with the new guy. Head coach gets back. I say something along the lines of "Coach, did you have to get some paperwork or something done?" He said "No, had to let the dogs out. It's a pain but good thing I live close enough to do it." He did it every day my whole first year and someone brought it up in a staff meeting in the off-season and it changed.

One day we were on special teams and he watched our punter shank one. And he said "Guys if I would have been a kicker instead of a QB I would still be in the league." I asked if he was serious. He said "yes, of course." I said "so you chose to be a teacher instead of being in the NFL just so you could play high school QB." He said "Yeah, QB is the man." I asked him to punt or kick and he declined.

One day during pregame/kick script we get to victory formation and guys are a little sluggish coming out of the huddle. He freaks out and starts yelling "HURRY UP AND SNAP IT, HURRY UP AND SNAP IT." This one was probably an honest mistake but our OC was like "Coach we are trying run the clock out it's going to be okay."

Another day, this one is not football related, we were talking about teacher pay in Florida and he said "It has to be the 51st or 52nd worst state in terms of pay." I asked "how many states do you think there are?" And he immediately knew something was up, but he really didn't know the answer so he just goes "are you guys effing with me?...Puerto Rico is a state right...ummmm...dammit how many states are there?" He thought there were 51 or 52 states, literally.

I will say even though that football program was a mess the guy wasn't a bad dude. Someone had to hire him and that's where it really all went wrong. And to be fair he did make the playoffs in Florida one year.

Former HC talking about fresh/soph kids, "That kid will never amount to anything." Turns out he was wrong EVERY single time.

Old school assistant who hadn't coached football for years, "You have to be in a 50 to stop the run."