Taking a year away from coaching

This is my first year off since 2005. Former HC. My wife and I had our first May, 2016 and have another one coming in 10 weeks. Yeah, I know..... I'm busy. But I really miss it a ton. I've done more pencil on paper this off season than in any other. Been to some good games and visited some legendary coaches practices. Miss the game, but am happy with my decision. Hard still being around the kids/players because they are now being slaughtered. I have discovered this time period between 3:00-7:00 that I did not know existed.

Having 2 young girls, both born in August, has really impacted my coaching. I havent taken time off, since there's a little job security tied in, but I really dont expend the time, energy and emotion on football that I used to.

I'm taking this year off. It's been a lot less stressful. I thought I wouldn't know what to do with all the free time, but you find things to do and it's not an issue at all. I've been to a game every Friday night since the season began and I think about what I would do if I was still coaching. It makes you think whether what you've always done is the best way, which I don't think necessarily happens when you're busy gameplanning and doing whatever else during the season.

I've been having this gnaw at me a bit as well.  Been coaching for 18 years, the last 7 as HC, in the middle of a pretty good run at the school where I teach, but the last few seasons have been draining, like you said.  It's actually gotten worse since we won a state title, and it's almost all internal, just me and my head, not external pressures.  Another poster in this thread mentioned that he doesn't quite invest as much (at least emotionally) in football since having children, I'm fascinated by this.  Takes some guts to say that, for one thing, I admire the honesty.  I have a 4 year old son, and I'm wondering what's going to be best for him?  I've gone down the rabbit hole again this year, despite telling myself I wouldn't let it get to me as much.  We're having another successful season thus far, but now entering crunch time and I feel like it's killing me inside.  This can't be healthy.  I don't have balance, I'm losing the forest for the trees, etc. etc., I know it, but I'm worried that I won't give our team it's best chance to win unless I'm all in.  Isn't that what we ask of our kids???  I've fantasized about taking a year off, going to whatever game I want on Friday nights, relaxing and watching college ball on Saturdays, sleeping in Sundays...  But I also like that my son has a dad who's a football coach and he goes to the games and gets treated like a little prince, it's really a cool deal I think.  I've seen other coaches who seem to have loosened the grip on the reins a little bit, maybe gained a little more balance, and it looks like they're healthier and happier.  The guys I'm thinking of have also gone from coaching state title contenders to middle of the pack type of teams, and I have a hard time not believing that the cost of achieving balance in your life is that you won't be able to get your team to their ultimate ceiling each year.  

     Tl;dr: Waaaaaah.  

Grouch

Well said Dub. I believe in what you say, I just haven't been able to keep my focus there lately.

You're cheating your players.  

I took two years off of coaching completely when I was married as I was commuting two+ hours per day, was married to a woman with a chronic illness and had three kiddos at home. Coaching high school football was out of the question given the time constraints and I didn't care for coaching youth.

In the years before my marriage, I coached youth football (in a quality league) or middle school when I needed a break from high school football.

This is an interesting topic. Been at it 11 years and I'm contemplating taking a year off as well. I've been at the same place now for 11 years, have two kids at ages 7 and 5. I think about all the time spent in the summer and during the year where I could be picking them up from school, taking them to the park, or whatever the case may be. I agree with a post up above where I feel like I'm cheating my family. The weekend film by myself or as a staff also is a grind and takes time away. Tough to balance it all. I'm thinking a year away might be enough to charge the batteries again.

I stepped away from coaching after last season as well. 21 years of coaching. I was putting kids to bed Wednesday night and not seeing them again until Saturday afternoon after film. I love the game. I loved coaching. My family is more important. I still go to the games Friday night. The staff I was on is gone (for good reason, long story.) The new staff is great. Young guys who love on the kids and teach values along with football. I have become a big fan, but don't miss the grind.

Thats asinine

Are you saying you quit the program you are with if you have a bad season? 

Balance is important in all facets of life.

Coaching and family is not an either-or proposition, unless perhaps if you are an assistant for a HC who is a "grinder" and demands unnecessary amount of time. Then you have a decision to make.

In the 30+ years I coached after birth of our first I rarely missed things our daughters were involved in. Late sometimes, had to leave early a few times, but was almost always there.

Fatherhood does not require you to give up everything you love or like to do for your children. That's not healthy for either of you.

I didn't read his comments that way.

We as a profession waste a lot of time on busy work. Mostly so we can say no one is going to our work us and to make it look like we're grinding.

Production and maximizing our time during the week needs to be examined just as much or more than the x's and o's.

I'm not an accountant. I'm a teacher who also coaches, and now my daily priorities have shifted.

Instead of decompressing in the locker room after practice until the last kid leaves and I take 1 or 2 of them home, I hurry home to put my kids to bed. 
Instead of staying up late watching film, I'm rocking my feverish 2 month old who just got her shots.
Instead of getting to school early and socializing in the HC's room as kids check in each morning, I have 1st period planning so I can help get the kids dressed and fed so my wife can get them to school on time so she isn't late for work.
And when I get a phone call that the 3yrold projectile-vomited on the back of my wifes head on the way home from school, I go home to help clean the vomit off everyone and everything.
Instead of diving in and lifting with the team all summer, I stay off to the side and just direct traffic keeping my 3yrold out of the way.

I am definitely fortunate to be in a program that supports and understands families. There are 4 other coaches with kids all under the age of 3. We dont use it as an excuse to get out of work and responsibilities. In fact, it often becomes a teaching tool for our players, most of whom dont have a dad in the picture. They see us doing the things we normally do, and then see us working to also provide for and incorporate our children into our lives. Our players offer encouragement when our children have issues, our players work harder when a coach has to leave for a child emergency, and hopefully our players see how a man is supposed to care for his children.

But f**k it, maybe I should just quit. Cuz quitting solves everything.