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Post by coachveer on Jan 11, 2006 17:35:36 GMT -6
What..are you scared of greatness.
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Post by coachveer on Jan 11, 2006 17:38:05 GMT -6
You can tell this to a Dad who comes to you complaining about why his son isn't playing more.
"Well Sir, your son lacks courage"
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Post by knight7616 on Jan 11, 2006 18:11:11 GMT -6
When are you going to get tired of going half speed?
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Post by cc on Jan 11, 2006 19:41:17 GMT -6
When in doubt, fire out!
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Post by dsqa on Jan 11, 2006 20:22:19 GMT -6
Team Flexibility speech before practice:
Gentleman, there are only two sounds you have ever made in your life that mean anything:
That first good loud cry when the doctor slapped your behind, and the buckling of that chinstrap on your helmet on this field today!
What those two sounds have in common makes them equally awesome...
They both told everyone around you that heard it, that you are here today, right now, alive and kicking, and that you are ready to rock and roll!
Examples of Fun Little 1 - minute Pre-Kickoff Speeches I like to create:
Men, What we are doing tonight is not for the faint of heart, if what you are going to do tonight was done 100 yards away in the parking lot, they would call the police and arrest you for rioting, no doubt. Oh, by the way, we asked the police here tonight to keep an eye on your stuff, while you pounded a few heads. Yup, they were glad to come by, they're in the parking lot right now keeping an eye on your cars for you, while you take care of business.
They know you just stopped by to make a few long distance phone calls, before you go home tonight! Just make sure your pads speak loud and clear, so even they can hear you leaving your messages out there! We don't want them left out at all. Let's really let them feel we are grateful for them being here. I don't want them feeling like they missed anything. .. I want them to feel it rumbling in their cheap vinyl leather seats... I want their wheel rims to shake... I want ripples on the surface of their lukewarm coffee all the way through the fourth quarter... and I want to them to have to roll up their windows to drown out the scary noises!
Another one:
If these guys your playing tonight got hit like they are going to get hit tonight shopping alongside their mother in the mall, she would call 911, and you would be arrested for sure. But tonight, under these lights, their mothers will just be praying they get up.
From whistle to whistle... I want them dazed and confused looking for their mamas, I want every hit, not your mouth, every hit; to remind them... that for 48 painful minutes, the gates are locked, all the mama's phones are turned off, and the best part of the whole thing... remind them that their mamas all paid $5 bucks each to watch!
Best I ever heard, at the outset of a practice from Coach Dick Dullaghan, "Gentlemen, there is no sense in prolonging the inevitable, choppity chop chop chop!(team lap...and as they go) And they're off, like a herd of Turtles!" Great stuff over a bullhorn with all the guys standing around jawing.
This was fun. great thread!
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Post by saintrad on Jan 11, 2006 21:52:22 GMT -6
dang darin - you need to write more LOL
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Post by dsqa on Jan 11, 2006 22:09:51 GMT -6
I do get going, but this was a fun one.
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Post by saintrad on Jan 11, 2006 22:13:44 GMT -6
i can tell darin-
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Post by dmp225 on Jan 11, 2006 22:18:25 GMT -6
Our coach used to say this to our punter after a {censored} punt:
"for christ sake, i can piss a farther distance into a tornado than you just punted the ball"
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nexthc
Junior Member
"The Golden Rule"
Posts: 439
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Post by nexthc on Apr 22, 2006 15:59:50 GMT -6
"You are f_ck_ng up my universe son!"
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Post by airman on Apr 22, 2006 17:37:01 GMT -6
a friend of mine is at a christian school. well in college his line coach would tell them to thrust your hips like you are riding your girl friend doggy style and good home and tell you need to practice this every night.
while my friend did not think that would go over to well at his very conservative private school. so he says, thrust your marriage muscle. you know the muscle you will be using on your wedding night. the parents love it, he has managed to teach hip thrusting and waiting tell marriage all in one easy package.
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Post by tvt50 on Apr 22, 2006 18:52:36 GMT -6
LOL!!!!! The first one is alot funnier.
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Post by jake831 on Apr 22, 2006 20:09:57 GMT -6
during my freshman year in highschool we had a runningback that would never hold the ball close to him so our coach would always yell "dont it like a loaf of bread, hold it like its your girlfriend!"
my favorite one from my defensive coordinator "just go out there and put a hat on somebody!"
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Post by rathernot on Apr 22, 2006 21:12:41 GMT -6
GATA (get after that ass)
pee on the ceiling (for rolling hips through a tackle)
don't be a mental midget
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moose18
Junior Member
"If it didn't matter who won or lost, they wouldn't keep score"
Posts: 284
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Post by moose18 on Apr 22, 2006 21:17:22 GMT -6
My HS OL Coach to my teammate: "If I shoved your brain up a gnats ass, it would look like a BB in Madison Square Garden"
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Post by cutty on Apr 23, 2006 13:32:06 GMT -6
*Thats bush league *look like a deer in headlights *dog on ice *soft serve ice cream *stiff as a board *finish *head on a swivel *explode *card carrying coward
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Post by blb on Apr 23, 2006 13:47:43 GMT -6
The absolute worst coaching phrase any coach can say to a player:
"Just Hit Somebody!!"
How 'bout teaching him HOW to hit and exactly WHO to hit on any given assignment? If he doesn't...then, whose fault is it?
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Post by brophy on Apr 24, 2006 5:42:43 GMT -6
"Stop Receivin' and Start Givin'" - heard this from a coach who was frustrated with his defense when it kept getting trucked.....nothing like having a fan with a whistle....
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Post by gymbra on Apr 24, 2006 10:56:51 GMT -6
Come on ladies! Hit Like you mean it!
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Post by gymbra on Apr 24, 2006 10:57:47 GMT -6
Did you come to play or are you all just gonna watch?!?
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Post by chs75 on Apr 24, 2006 12:54:07 GMT -6
"hit 'em with your purse!"
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Post by chs75 on Apr 25, 2006 8:27:15 GMT -6
"stop, drop and roll" whenever one of our d-backs get burnt deep,
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Post by brophy on Sept 13, 2006 20:39:06 GMT -6
here's one to add for 2006.
"You know who holds the keys to your scholarship dreams? ........huh?........DING! ME!" courtesy of Coach Propst
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Post by wildcat on Sept 13, 2006 20:56:31 GMT -6
"Son, you couldn't pour p i s s out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!"
"Darn, son...he went through you like a turd through toilet paper!"
"Teams that run the Wishbone are like cavemen...cavemen are tough SOBs. They throw spears at mammoths and drag their girlfriends around by their hair."
"Holy cow, (insert player's name), if you get any bigger, we're gonna have to start feeding you hay!"
"Can I get you a cool drink and something to read?" (said to the guys who always seem to be missing practice because of some phantom injury)
"Son, you're killin' my grass." (said to an o-lineman who isn't moving his feet)
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Post by groundchuck on Sept 13, 2006 21:09:01 GMT -6
At the end of the day the kings and the pawns go back in the same box.
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Post by threeback on Sept 14, 2006 7:12:38 GMT -6
Got a few:
You guys are playing like a bunch of slack-jawed fagg-ts!!
That kid is running the freaking ball like he stole something
Ok- get out the sundial!! (our kids when a particularly "fleet of foot" lineman stepped up to be timed in the forty)
Looking at dsqa's post about the "herd of turtles" reminds me about my second year coaching. I like to joke with the best of them, but when it's time to work, it's time to work. After going over personnel and stuff one day before a JV game, i gathered our "warriors" together and started giving them about as good a game talk as possible- coming out ready to play, leave no doubt, etc. I had the kids' total attention, and couldn't resist it- "Guys, tomorrow I want you coming out like a herd of wild freaking turtles!!" There was a stunned silence for a few seconds, the head coach looks at me with that "WHAT THE F-K??!!!" Look on his face- and then the kids start freaking cracking up. I wanted the kids to be relaxed for the game- Although I thought the head coach was going to fire me at first.
JV Warriors- kids that have phantom injuries on Monday and Tuesday, then are perfectly healthy on Wednesday- the day before the JV game. You have to sing it for full effect, though. Johnny comes to get his jersey after practice on Wednesday (our shells day) after missing two days of practice with a phantom injury (that mysteriously healed in that short amount of time)- While giving him his jersey, a coach sings "He's a JV warrior" in your best 80's rock band voice. Then Johnny rides the pine the entire game, and wonders why he never gets any time.
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Post by epcoach99 on Sept 14, 2006 7:14:43 GMT -6
I tell this to my OL when they trap.
"You gotta hit them so hard you knock a cheerleader down"
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Post by wingt74 on Sept 14, 2006 8:55:20 GMT -6
You guys are deceptively slow.
Do it right, do it light, do it wrong, do it long.
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Post by wingtol on Sept 14, 2006 9:17:05 GMT -6
I love to tell our DB's "there are two things in life you never knock up and one is a football...." that seems to stick with them
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Post by coachjblair on Sept 14, 2006 20:12:36 GMT -6
I have two
1. Your about as useful as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
2. Your not in high school anymore or for high school guys your not in junior high anymore.
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