Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2012 12:24:56 GMT -6
This isn't really a thing a kid "said" more what one did-
Several years ago I was coaching Junior high with one other guy, and he yelled to a kid who was playing corner, "Christopher, its 3rd and long, loosen up!" . The kid looks back at us and gives us a thumbs up, then starts rolling his neck and rotating his arms around. We both died laughing.
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Post by silkyice on Sept 12, 2012 12:52:29 GMT -6
These are great. LOL
The other day we were running sprints when a beautiful cheerleader walked by. One of the players yelled "you sure are looking good today Mary!" (not her real name). A coach that may or may not have been me yelled, "QUIT TALKING ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD!" Then blew the whistle to run the next sprint and said "even if it is true." The whole place fell out.
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tekart
Junior Member
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Post by tekart on Sept 12, 2012 12:58:56 GMT -6
Middle school coach told me this one: He noticed that the kid had his tail pad in the front of his pants and not the back. He said "hey you know that goes in the back". The kid replied "but it feels good". I think they gave him an extra one so he had the front and back covered.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2012 15:34:37 GMT -6
Middle school coach told me this one: He noticed that the kid had his tail pad in the front of his pants and not the back. He said "hey you know that goes in the back". The kid replied "but it feels good". I think they gave him an extra one so he had the front and back covered. I had the same thing happen as a young youth coach. Kid comes up with butt pad in front (mind you he'd never played a down of football), and I said why did you put the butt pad in front? He replies, "I didn't know where to put it coach, but I figured my boys need more protecting than my butt"! Gotta love the mind of a child (he was 9). Duece |
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Post by Chris Clement on Sept 12, 2012 16:19:27 GMT -6
Can't argue with his reasoning. The youth league at The Zoo had a recurring issue with that, we faced a team where more than half the kids were like that. Some even had the kidney pad in front, on the logic that more padding would be better.
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Post by coachseth on Sept 12, 2012 16:39:07 GMT -6
My favorite one has to be when I was sitting there working with the defensive line.
"In order to disrupt the other teams plays you have to get good penetration."
Of course one of my wiseass defensive ends follows up with...
"That's what she said coach!"
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Post by carookie on Sept 12, 2012 16:49:18 GMT -6
Coaching frosh level about 4 years back, my vocal center and team leader pipes up before a game against a bigger school with lots of tradition, "alright everyone, this is where we separate the kids from the boys."
WTF?
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Post by optionoline on Sept 12, 2012 18:01:53 GMT -6
I coach at a rural school, 90+% white, but we really don't have race issues and about 20% of the varsity team is black.
Trying to fire up my online about this coming Friday.
Me: this is a team even our OC thinks we should run the ball 80% of the time on. They're full of track and basketball type kids.
OL #1 smiling: oh I know what you mean coach.
Me: that's right, fast but soft as heck so we can dominate them physically all day!
OL #1: ohhhh, I thought you meant they were black.
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Post by fballcoachg on Sept 12, 2012 20:15:49 GMT -6
Noticed a freshman throwing away his cup today (which I didnt know many kids growing up that wore them in high school and assume none of them wear them now however back to the story) and I said smugly "was it slowing you down?" kid looks at me cockeyed and says "what are you talking about?" to which I say, "why are you throwing your cup out?" "Oh coach, you mean the molder for my jock strap?"....now I'm the one visibly confused, "coach, you don't need the shaper, it just makes sure that the jock strap is stretched out right so you can fit and the jock can protect your junk"...stupid knows no bounds!
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Post by jlevesque25 on Sept 12, 2012 20:21:00 GMT -6
I was coaching a 12-14 year old team 2 seasons ago and one of our captains was late. I pressed him to find out why because I saw him at the park we practice at maybe 20-25 mins before we began.
He proceeded to tell me he never left the area but just couldn't make it to practice on time. After pressing him a little more he quietly replies "coach, I was getting laid." He was 14 years old...I had no idea how to respond to that, completely caught me off guard.
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Post by Chris Clement on Sept 12, 2012 20:40:38 GMT -6
Guy's gotta have priorities.
I don't even remember anyone wearing a jockstrap, much less a cup.
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Post by airman on Sept 12, 2012 20:44:57 GMT -6
At a school where I used to coach at we had a 4 year (2 home/2 away) games with an inner city school.
one kid dubbed it: The hood vs the hay wagons
the first game we played at home and the next year it was on the road. When we traveled in one of the assistants said " toto, were not in kansas anymore" all of those who knew what he was referring to laughed.
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Post by coachbuck on Sept 13, 2012 7:28:14 GMT -6
Man that would be a hard one to swallow. Pun intended.
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Post by coachd5085 on Sept 13, 2012 11:22:39 GMT -6
Me: this is a team even our OC thinks we should run the ball 80% of the time on. They're full of track and basketball type kids. OL #1 smiling: oh I know what you mean coach. Me: that's right, fast but soft as heck so we can dominate them physically all day! OL #1: ohhhh, I thought you meant they were black. That's what most of the coaches on this board seem to infer when they say "basketball type kids" or "athletes" |
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Post by optionoline on Sept 13, 2012 11:50:46 GMT -6
Me: this is a team even our OC thinks we should run the ball 80% of the time on. They're full of track and basketball type kids. OL #1 smiling: oh I know what you mean coach. Me: that's right, fast but soft as heck so we can dominate them physically all day! OL #1: ohhhh, I thought you meant they were black. That's what most of the coaches on this board seem to infer when they say "basketball type kids" or "athletes" Really?  ? I think guys who run around blocks trying to be Jason Taylor, or receivers with alligator arms on crossing routes. Lots of skill, not much physical. |
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Post by mrjvi on Sept 13, 2012 12:22:28 GMT -6
Our basketball kids are the biggest pu$$ies in the school.
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Post by 33coach on Sept 13, 2012 13:13:12 GMT -6
Me: this is a team even our OC thinks we should run the ball 80% of the time on. They're full of track and basketball type kids. OL #1 smiling: oh I know what you mean coach. Me: that's right, fast but soft as heck so we can dominate them physically all day! OL #1: ohhhh, I thought you meant they were black. That's what most of the coaches on this board seem to infer when they say "basketball type kids" or "athletes" Really? Basketball types to me means a kid who doesnt want to hit. I use basketball as a term to mean weak. Like Me: 'joey if you dont figure out how to be aggressive im going to send you to basketball practice instead'. Sent from my DROID Pro using proboards |
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bigdny
Freshmen Member
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Post by bigdny on Sept 13, 2012 20:40:58 GMT -6
In addition to coaching high school ball ive also taken on coaching my nephews mighty mite team. The players are all in first or second grade and 6 and 7 years old. The second day of practice we are doing our warm ups when a tiny voice from the back row chimes in with, "football's not for girl thingys!" My brother didn't really hear what was said, or couldnt believe that that was what he heard and said, "That's right, football isn't for wussies." So the tiny voice in the back chimes in even louder and more emphatically, "NO COACH, FOOTBALL ISNT'T FOR girl thingys!" To be honest we just kind of ignored the whole situation, never addressed it, and just moved on. We figured if the other kids weren't reacting why bring any more attention to it. The coaching staff did decide that if we get team t-shirts made up that we had our slogan ready to go.
Coach Huey edited me - thankfully - girl thingys are also known as felines.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2012 22:08:28 GMT -6
We played our first home game today, and I had a kid ask me if we were going to McDonald's?!  We went last week b/c we were on an hour and a half bus trip. I guess he thought after the game we were going to load up and go get us a Big Mac! I just looked at him and said "Really? ", then walked away. Kids.... Duece |
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Post by 33coach on Sept 13, 2012 23:27:58 GMT -6
We played our first home game today, and I had a kid ask me if we were going to McDonald's?! We went last week b/c we were on an hour and a half bus trip. I guess he thought after the game we were going to load up and go get us a Big Mac! I just looked at him and said "Really? ", then walked away. Kids.... Duece Lol thats a good one. Sent from my DROID Pro using proboards |
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Post by coachwoodall on Sept 14, 2012 6:51:09 GMT -6
We played our first home game today, and I had a kid ask me if we were going to McDonald's?! We went last week b/c we were on an hour and a half bus trip. I guess he thought after the game we were going to load up and go get us a Big Mac! I just looked at him and said "Really? ", then walked away. Kids.... Duece shoot man, when I played little man ball, momma always took me to Hardee's to get a big roast beef and a co-coler |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2012 6:54:43 GMT -6
I hope that kids mom did b/c he was disappointed to find out we weren't loading up on a $16/hr. bus and riding 5 min. to Mickey D's for a cheeseburger! Good news is he's a linemen, so he gets a free pass with that one!
Duece
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Post by killiansred on Sept 14, 2012 7:05:00 GMT -6
Last night had a great one. Me to left guard " hey fix your stance your being lazy" reply "but coach my pinkie hurts" me and my assistant coach just stared at each other in disbelief.
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flingt
Junior Member
"We don't care how big or strong our opponents are as long as they're human.?
Posts: 311
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Post by flingt on Sept 14, 2012 8:30:47 GMT -6
Last night during our 34-0 route.
player;"Coach you wouldn't believe how much the other team is talking trash".
Me: "like what"
player:"after my catch, the db said that I better be glad I got tackled because he was going to kill me"
Me; "what do you say to him?"
player: "scoreboard"
Me: "nice".
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Post by fantom on Sept 14, 2012 9:11:32 GMT -6
Last year, our Sam LB was flying around during a game, popping people left and right. He had 22 solo tackles that game and assisted on another 5. He was just abusing people left and right. He popped their TB on one play, scooped him up off of the ground and the TB walks over to the sideline. The kid didn't come back in the rest of the game and I looked over and he'd taken his pads off. Their HC came over to me after the game, just friggin livid. I'd had problems with him before. His team was from a little racist hillbilly town and I had heard him make some nasty comments about Indians at a clinic. He doesn't like Indians and he REALLY doesn't like coming down to the rez and getting blown out. Him:"You need to get your kids under control coach, they've got some nasty mouths on them." Me:"What are you talking about?" Him: "Number 22 told my guy he was going to give him a 'Crow hair-cut' and the boy wouldn't go back into the game." So, I pulled the boy over and asked him what the hell he was thinking. He looked at the opposing coach dead in the eye and said: "Yeah, I'd tell you I'd scalp your a$$ too if you had called me a prairie n__er ten times." He turned and walked away. I looked at the HC and said: "Well coach, you'd better listen to him, you are on the rez." So, phuk him. |
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Post by jgordon1 on Sept 14, 2012 10:28:45 GMT -6
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Post by fballcoachg on Sept 14, 2012 11:06:16 GMT -6
Last year, our Sam LB was flying around during a game, popping people left and right. He had 22 solo tackles that game and assisted on another 5. He was just abusing people left and right. He popped their TB on one play, scooped him up off of the ground and the TB walks over to the sideline. The kid didn't come back in the rest of the game and I looked over and he'd taken his pads off. Their HC came over to me after the game, just friggin livid. I'd had problems with him before. His team was from a little racist hillbilly town and I had heard him make some nasty comments about Indians at a clinic. He doesn't like Indians and he REALLY doesn't like coming down to the rez and getting blown out. Him:"You need to get your kids under control coach, they've got some nasty mouths on them." Me:"What are you talking about?" Him: "Number 22 told my guy he was going to give him a 'Crow hair-cut' and the boy wouldn't go back into the game." So, I pulled the boy over and asked him what the hell he was thinking. He looked at the opposing coach dead in the eye and said: "Yeah, I'd tell you I'd scalp your a$$ too if you had called me a prairie n__er ten times." He turned and walked away. I looked at the HC and said: "Well coach, you'd better listen to him, you are on the rez." This is one of those instances where you have to be proud of your kid for turning the other cheek for as long as he did and not physically losing control and for standing up to an "adult." |
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Post by coachcb on Sept 14, 2012 12:50:28 GMT -6
Last year, our Sam LB was flying around during a game, popping people left and right. He had 22 solo tackles that game and assisted on another 5. He was just abusing people left and right. He popped their TB on one play, scooped him up off of the ground and the TB walks over to the sideline. The kid didn't come back in the rest of the game and I looked over and he'd taken his pads off. Their HC came over to me after the game, just friggin livid. I'd had problems with him before. His team was from a little racist hillbilly town and I had heard him make some nasty comments about Indians at a clinic. He doesn't like Indians and he REALLY doesn't like coming down to the rez and getting blown out. Him:"You need to get your kids under control coach, they've got some nasty mouths on them." Me:"What are you talking about?" Him: "Number 22 told my guy he was going to give him a 'Crow hair-cut' and the boy wouldn't go back into the game." So, I pulled the boy over and asked him what the hell he was thinking. He looked at the opposing coach dead in the eye and said: "Yeah, I'd tell you I'd scalp your a$$ too if you had called me a prairie n__er ten times." He turned and walked away. I looked at the HC and said: "Well coach, you'd better listen to him, you are on the rez." This is one of those instances where you have to be proud of your kid for turning the other cheek for as long as he did and not physically losing control and for standing up to an "adult." Yup, he was one of those kids that was more likely to take a swing at the kid AND the coach. But, that was one of the things we dealt with. Two of our (white) cheerleaders b-tched out the HC of another team on the road because they heard his players dishing out racial slurs. One of the funniest things I have ever seen: two little 15 year old girls laying into a 6'5'' football coach. |
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jjm
Sophomore Member
Posts: 133
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Post by jjm on Sept 15, 2012 21:46:39 GMT -6
Heard a great one from a buddy of mine this morning. He was coaching a 5th grade team and one of the rules of the league is no shooting A gaps. Well, he was helping on defense and the safety was really wanting to hit someone. After a few plays he comes over to my buddy and asks him "Once the runningback has the ball, can we shoot the A hole?" The ref could not hide his laughter and either could my buddy
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Post by coachmoore42 on Sept 16, 2012 8:36:22 GMT -6
Heard a great one from a buddy of mine this morning. He was coaching a 5th grade team and one of the rules of the league is no shooting A gaps. Well, he was helping on defense and the safety was really wanting to hit someone. After a few plays he comes over to my buddy and asks him "Once the runningback has the ball, can we shoot the A hole?" The ref could not hide his laughter and either could my buddy There's a reason why the gaps have letters and the holes have numbers, lol. A guy I used to coach with did the same thing...but as an announcer on the friday night broadcast of a game. He even said it with emphasis. He had no clue what he said, but the rest of us sprinted out of the pressbox laughing. We explained it to him...after we stopped laughing. |
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We went last week b/c we were on an hour and a half bus trip. I guess he thought after the game we were going to load up and go get us a Big Mac! I just looked at him and said "Really?
