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Post by dsqa on Sept 16, 2012 10:17:44 GMT -6
When I was a HC, we were off to a bad start...0-3 or something and playing a very tough opponent, so on the bus on the way there, my big lineman, deadpans aloud on the team bus, "Hey coach, is it okay if we dunk you with Gatorade if we win the coin toss?"
Still laugh to this day every time I think about it...we didn't win the toss, or the game.
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Post by spartancoach on Sept 17, 2012 8:41:58 GMT -6
Years back, as an assistant coach for a youth team, we had a small, soft team and were playing the best team in the league the next day.
HC: There is nothing to be scared of. They put their pants on the same as you, one leg at a time.
Small kid with squeaky voice: But a lot bigger pants.
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Post by IronmanFootball on Sept 18, 2012 11:16:18 GMT -6
I've had the band greatly affect a game. We were on the road, down 7-0 in a district game. The band played so loud down in the endzone vs a no huddle team. I truly think they helped us win. False starts, confusion, etc. Really impacted the game.
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Post by coachwilliams2 on Sept 18, 2012 11:24:10 GMT -6
Coach,
Our band has actually NOT shown up for a game because they had to rest for their competition the next day.
We also had the band director bad mouth the team at a game to our opponent's greeters.
Different world...
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Post by olcoach53 on Sept 18, 2012 11:27:08 GMT -6
Our band leader pretty much thinks that the Friday night games are for the band, NOT the Football team. They come in and play pregame then wander around and then play halftime and leave...pretty freaking pathetic.
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Post by blb on Sept 18, 2012 11:30:48 GMT -6
Told band director at one school I was going to support his program same way he supported ours.
If they left after halftime, I was going to bring our team to a concert, and leave at intermission.
No problem at current school. Our JV coach is band director. And he's legit in both areas, played college football and has ten years' experience.
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Post by fballcoachg on Sept 18, 2012 19:02:31 GMT -6
Coach, Our band has actually NOT shown up for a game because they had to rest for their competition the next day. We also had the band director bad mouth the team at a game to our opponent's greeters. Different world... Ours won't go to any away games unless someone else foots the bill, will not go to any games before a competition, has gotten us a delay of game penalty a time or two, and tried to push us off the field pregame because we were taking too long. They also have what amount to "fans" that go to their practice (I hope family members of current trombone players) and don't understand why people don't get their food during the game. Own universe man, truly own universe... Have had the same questions from band kids who meant well just didn't/don't understand what coaching entails. Also had a band kid give me suggestions for both our offensive and defensive playcalling, would have been comical if we haven't been having such a rough start.
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Post by M4 on Sept 19, 2012 5:44:49 GMT -6
our Stud RB asked me today "Does it go Centre guard tackle, or centre tackle guard"... during scout O for our D we put him in the slot to simulate an opponent, he asks "what's the slot do mostly, like run routes and stuff" (our opponent is spread like us, the formations are exactly the same", I ask him "well what do our slots do" his answer "I don't know Coach I don't get a chance to see them very much when I'm on the field blocking"
you win this round son... you win this round
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Post by coachbuck on Sept 19, 2012 6:59:41 GMT -6
I have a kid on my team (freshman) who is in the band and has piano lessons on wednesdays. He misses every other weds for his lessons. Kid barely sees the field. Good kid, bad football player. We have a rare varsity game same day as freshman. Both thursday games. We will have played our game and kid will have time to make kickoff. I know because my son is the qb varsity so I will be making the trip right after the freshman game. Kid tells me, "coach, I dont know what to do, we have band and a game same day" I tell him not a problem our game is over by 6 and we are only 35 minutes away from the varsity game, no worries. He then says " I have to be there early to warm up", friggin really? Im done with this kid, I respond, if you miss our game, turn your gear in.
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Post by coachguy83 on Sept 19, 2012 10:08:57 GMT -6
This summer we were in the weight room after some on field work. One of my linemen tweaked his groin at some point in the day and I noticed he had a pained look on his face while lifting. When I walked up to him and asked what was wrong him reply was "My dick hurts coach."
I had nothing to say to that.
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Post by coachklee on Sept 19, 2012 11:41:22 GMT -6
We had a Hispanic QB on the team a few years ago who was ridiculously slow. I was ribbing him about it one day and he said: "Coach, I run a lot faster if we're heading north. I just pretend INS is coming to take me back to Mexico." Similar situation. A Hispanic student joined the team after the 1st game. We actually put him in charge of filming the game...anyways, I am walking with him and another player who was on crutches (bad high ankle sprain from game 1) over to make sure the camera was set to go in the press box. The kid on crutches is keeping up no problem and stops to say, "Fabian, hurry up...why are you so slow?" Fabian (the Hispanic student) responds, "Because I used all of my energy running across the border."
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Post by fantom on Sept 21, 2012 22:19:06 GMT -6
Last night before our varsity game one of our JV kids came up to me and asked, "Coach, do any of the varsity kids need any pain killers?".
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Post by CS on Sept 22, 2012 6:58:27 GMT -6
I had a player ask if I was going to be at the game on Friday. I'm the DC. I found it funny
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2012 9:53:31 GMT -6
I had a player ask if I was going to be at the game on Friday. I'm the DC. I found it funny Unfortunately I've had this one more than once! Duece
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Post by airman on Sept 22, 2012 10:34:24 GMT -6
Not football related by very funny.
The health teacher told me about this conversation.
So a young woman asks the female health teacher the following.
Girl: Ms. Health Teacher, is there any other birth control foam that tastes better. My boy friend and I have been using foam as our birth control but it really tastes bad. you think they would flavor it if it is going to taste that bad.
Health teacher: so you have been eating it?
Girl: yes, isn't that what you do with all birth control?
Health teacher: how old are you?
Girl: 16.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2012 12:31:56 GMT -6
Not football related by very funny. The health teacher told me about this conversation. So a young woman asks the female health teacher the following. Girl: Ms. Health Teacher, is there any other birth control foam that tastes better. My boy friend and I have been using foam as our birth control but it really tastes bad. you think they would flavor it if it is going to taste that bad. Health teacher: so you have been eating it? Girl: yes, isn't that what you do with all birth control? Health teacher: how old are you? Girl: 16. Duece
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Post by amikell on Sept 22, 2012 14:43:25 GMT -6
Last night before our varsity game one of our JV kids came up to me and asked, "Coach, do any of the varsity kids need any pain killers?". A few years ago, we had a HUGE upset over a team and come to find out, their D1 caliber RB was selling oxycodone (sp?) to his teammates and anyone else in the school.
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Post by Chris Clement on Sept 22, 2012 15:09:31 GMT -6
My third practice, I'm still putting names to faces, I freeze the whole practice and turn the HC and ask "So, you're telling me we have a massive, axe-murdering fullback, and his name is STORM?"
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Post by fantom on Sept 22, 2012 15:32:15 GMT -6
Last night before our varsity game one of our JV kids came up to me and asked, "Coach, do any of the varsity kids need any pain killers?". A few years ago, we had a HUGE upset over a team and come to find out, their D1 caliber RB was selling oxycodone (sp?) to his teammates and anyone else in the school. What made this funny is that it was THIS kid. He's a 9th grader, very naive, a church-camp kid who means it. I can't even guess what he meant and won't ask because he may talk himself ino trouble without meaning anything. I just kept a straight face and told him, "No, we're good".
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Post by coachbuck on Sept 27, 2012 2:23:05 GMT -6
Yesterday at practice. O-line coach to player " are you going to get a 2.0" Player " I don't know coach, Im failing english, it aint my thing"
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Post by silkyice on Sept 27, 2012 8:00:27 GMT -6
This is a definite you had to be there moment but I am going to try and take a stab at it.
We are a really good team this year with a great senior class and 3 juniors who will play in the SEC.
But we are a small private school. We only have 30 on the varsity and 45 from 7th to 12th. So our JV practices with us. We have this one 7th grader that couldn't start on a peewee team that only had 11 players. Tiny, glasses, has zero clue. The other night when he got in the JV game we had to almost call a timeout to get him to put his mouth piece in.
Yesterday we running our first offense against bags. He was the cornerback. Don't worry, our guys know to not kill him and they just touch the bag when blocking him. We are wing-t and the team that we are playing puts their cornerback right outside the WB on the line.
Anyways, we run a play from the left hash and I notice my wingback blocks the wrong person. I about flip out and then notice we don't have a corner which really pisses me off and the kids know that means up-downs. So I yell "WHERE IS MY CORNERBACK!!!" One of the kids points to the right sideline, and there is there is the kid 25 yards away on the LOS standing right on the sideline. The whole team fell out laughing. Then one of the kids said, "well, at least he won't lose force." I was laughing so hard I couldn't even call another play.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2012 10:54:39 GMT -6
We use the technique numbering system where a 6 is head up on TE, 7 is inside shade of the TE, and 9 is outside shade of the TE. We do a lot of unbalanced formations so we have a tackle in that TE spot quite a bit. During a halftime discussion, one of our kids was confused about how to tell us how wide the end was playing, so he goes, "He's real wide...He's like a 10 technique!!" Pretty funny at the time!
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Post by coachbuck on Oct 4, 2012 5:09:39 GMT -6
A couple of days ago one of my "street kids" comes up to me and says " your the bomb coach" I respond " If I was the bomb we wouldnt be 2-3 we would be 5-0" His exact respons "you can only lead a horse to water coach. You cant force us to drink" Made me smile.
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Post by John Knight on Oct 4, 2012 8:10:38 GMT -6
Our DC yelled 2-man the other day and one of the kids asked, which two do I cover??
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Post by newt21 on Oct 4, 2012 10:44:09 GMT -6
Previous day, my jv's weren't working hard for anything. I mean it was a challenge just to get them to get to a drill, much less do it right. So I made them do updowns and run half gassers, yelling at them like crazy (not my normal behavior by the way).
Next day, I'm helping the kids get some equipment out and a kid laughs when I pulled a pretzel out of my pocket and said "coach, i've never seen you smile as big as you did when you just pulled that pretzel out and ate it"
me: "you know what they say, a hungry coach is not a happy coach"
player: "you must've been STARVING yesterday"
i totally lost it, absolutely hilarious the way he said it!
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