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Post by jgordon1 on Oct 25, 2011 13:32:18 GMT -6
Just a couple of weeks ago I told the Nose that he had to "jack off" the center...(instead of Jack up)..even I had to laugh
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Post by IronmanFootball on Oct 25, 2011 15:39:01 GMT -6
I had a female teacher today tell me "I know enough about football to know kids won't get hurt" when they argued with me about fighting them on constantly taking our kids out of practice to rehearse for a salsa dancing recital. I'm serious. No, really. I'm serious. Salsa.
I just laughed and smiled because she's my boss... but my argument was what if he hasn't practiced tackling for weeks because he's always at dance (he hasn't), he's 105lbs, he's going to get injured, and I'm told "I know enough about football..." So then I had to talk to his mom and she said she doesn't have enough time to drive around and have him practice, so I explained the paralyzed factor and she basically gave me the "then don't play him" card. So... he won't play. Now we're down to 16 kids.
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Post by fantom on Oct 25, 2011 15:49:30 GMT -6
I had a female teacher today tell me "I know enough about football to know kids won't get hurt" when they argued with me about fighting them on constantly taking our kids out of practice to rehearse for a salsa dancing recital. I'm serious. No, really. I'm serious. Salsa. I just laughed and smiled because she's my boss... but my argument was what if he hasn't practiced tackling for weeks because he's always at dance (he hasn't), he's 105lbs, he's going to get injured, and I'm told "I know enough about football..." So then I had to talk to his mom and she said she doesn't have enough time to drive around and have him practice, so I explained the paralyzed factor and she basically gave me the "then don't play him" card. So... he won't play. Now we're down to 16 kids. You're not down to 16. You've had 16.
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Post by coachd5085 on Oct 25, 2011 18:57:41 GMT -6
A HC I worked for didn't really watch football. He used to say "you can't be a fan and be a great coach". Still don't know what that means. I can actually see that. There is a limited amount of time available, and I can see someone questioning if time spent on football should only be spent on his team....
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Post by Coach JR on Oct 26, 2011 12:17:06 GMT -6
Had one yesterday in practice. OC calls a QB Wrap...fake zone one way, BST, nickname of Shaq, pulls to kick out the PSDE. He calls it to the QB, then tells him to "Tell Shaq to come like he's never come before". He turned to me, and I was laughing, and he said, "that came out kinda ugly.".
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Post by amikell on Oct 29, 2011 0:35:08 GMT -6
I will preface this by saying that I coach our DL and special teams I do help with the TEs, but only marginally Tonight, we have the ball on the opponent's 15, and the quarter ends. We come out get set, I take a look at the bad guys, and they are aligned with a guys out wide, a man off the ball about 1/2 way between the widest man and the end man on the line, and a guy that appears to be in a wing. I start yelling trips, a set we had not seen at all from our opponents. Yeah, we had the ball. They were aligning to our te/wing over set. I felt really smart.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2011 4:56:28 GMT -6
NOBODY can eloquently state the obvious like Mike Quick doing Philadelphia Eagles games..
"To win this game, you gotta put more points on the board than the other team"
"If you punt that ball out of bounds, DeSean doesn't get a chance to return it"
"It takes 2 field goals to = a touchdown"
Years worth of that kind of stuff
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Post by John Knight on Oct 30, 2011 5:39:05 GMT -6
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Post by rcole on Oct 31, 2011 20:23:01 GMT -6
Today we had a kid returning kicks that usually does not do it. He is a great athlete, but not bright. For some reason we are running our return vs air rather than a scout team like we usually do. We have a right return called and the kid starts off to the right with his blocking but very early he breaks to the far side of the field. The special teams coach is getting on him about it and the kids says, "the field was open, there was nobody over there!" The look on the coaches face was priceless as he explained in a rather harsh tone that the field was open because there wasn't a kick-off team at all and nobody was trying to tackle him. As soon as it happened I thought about this thread.
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CLuttrell
Sophomore Member
OCHS Titians new assistant coach
Posts: 133
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Post by CLuttrell on Oct 31, 2011 21:44:22 GMT -6
Pregame trying to motivate my guys. I was giving one of those memorable high energy speeches. Not sure what I meant to come out, but I ended up saying "Full speed all the time. you have to play with your dicks out". So obviously the smartass in my group breaks it down on "dicks out" before every game now. DICKS OUT COACH! Awesome, pure gold man!
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raiderx
Sophomore Member
Posts: 222
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Post by raiderx on Nov 1, 2011 8:54:33 GMT -6
"Just get foot to foot and block the closest guy to you. That's all you need to do."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2011 8:57:03 GMT -6
"It's getting pretty horny out here!" Not said by me, but by a guy I coached OL and DL with during the 2OO5 season. Our mascot was the Rams and we were hosting a quarterfinal games...so our boosters were painting and displaying our Ram horns logo everywhere. So, I guess it was getting horny out there!
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Post by bluedevil4 on Nov 1, 2011 9:01:17 GMT -6
Kid asks about playing more. Coach says, "Sure. You can play right guard tackle."
Player: "What's right guard tackle?"
Coach: "RIGHT on the bench, GUARDing the water, and TACKLE anyone who tries to take it."
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Post by brianmulligan on Nov 1, 2011 9:04:28 GMT -6
Our assistant coach had a big event the day of practice. He was a huge drinker and we coaches knew it but never talked about it in front of the kids. Well he shows up late for practice one day (about a half hour late). Comes walking across the field looks up at me and the Head Coach with a huge grin on his face and yells (during practice) "Hey I am here and I am sober". Then walks up to us in the huddle (while the HC was calling a play) and says hey guys want to come over to my house for pizza and $120 bottl of scotch. The offensive guard looks up and says "well coach I do not know about the scotch but boy I love Pizza"... This coach is no longer with us.
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Post by coachwaz on Nov 1, 2011 9:35:32 GMT -6
announcer in the Delaware vs Towson game this weekend explained that after Towson ran spacing "it is a great play because you have 3 recievers who all run different routes" ...profound
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Post by bluedevil4 on Nov 1, 2011 9:43:41 GMT -6
announcer in the Delaware vs Towson game this weekend explained that after Towson ran spacing "it is a great play because you have 3 recievers who all run different routes" ...profound What? Is it not true? lol
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Post by gapshoot76 on Nov 1, 2011 9:52:09 GMT -6
Kid asks about playing more. Coach says, "Sure. You can play right guard tackle." Player: "What's right guard tackle?" Coach: "RIGHT on the bench, GUARDing the water, and TACKLE anyone who tries to take it." Mine is the same thing except End, Guard and Tackle Sit at the end of the bench, guard the water bottles, and tackle anyone who comes near them!
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Post by gapshoot76 on Nov 1, 2011 9:59:12 GMT -6
Just remembered a great one...
Giving the Thursday night speech i was talking about the last weeks bad loss. I compared it to the girlfriend that they just broke up with, and since they were high school boys they needed to go find the hottest girl in school for a rebound date. Obviously I was comparing the next nights opponent to the new hot girl. Well somehow i got on a tangent and went on to say "now boys, we gotta go out tomorrow night and hit this one, and hit this one hard!!!" Obviously H.S. boys think of "hitting that" as getting with that girl... needless to say there wasn't one person on the field that heard it that wasn't laughing their a$$ off. It's amazing how many things can turn into sexual innuendos
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Post by brianmulligan on Nov 1, 2011 10:00:25 GMT -6
I remember when I was younger our OC would yell "get up in there" to the RB's... When I was younger this made all of us snicker...
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Post by fantom on Nov 1, 2011 10:36:31 GMT -6
When I was in college before a game our coach told us that if anybody made a tackle inside of the 20 on a kickoff he'd give him a dollar. A WHOLE DOLLAR!!!! Thing is, our "kicker" was kicking off to about the 30 so.......
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ndcoach
Sophomore Member
Posts: 135
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Post by ndcoach on Nov 2, 2011 23:45:52 GMT -6
Were up in a game this year 48-30 with a minute left. We just got a first down at the opponents ten and we lined up to take a knee. We are in the standard victory formation. Double TE, 2 rb right next to the QB and our FB 15 yards deep. As we get ready to snap it the opposing defense starts calling out "watch the pass".
What made it really funny is we had only thrown the ball 7 times that night and had run for 455 yards
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jlt
Junior Member
Posts: 313
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Post by jlt on Nov 3, 2011 9:45:58 GMT -6
I had one Tuesday night in Chalkboard. Now Im animated im punching around talk/shouting about how much wanna win and Im describing the championship trophy to the guys whove never seen it and I say that the bowl is so big "So big.........." and I just say the first thing that comes in my head
"So big........... you could fit a whole box of kittens inside it"
Yeh we ended that talk right there n then.
Needless to say
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Post by John Knight on Nov 3, 2011 10:36:09 GMT -6
I was coaching LBs one day in two a days and I said "Now, I know you guys are hot and tired and this step work gets boring and it's mudane, blah blah blah."
One of my geniuses pipes up and says, "Hey Coach, you know it is Tuesday, right?"
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Post by rcole on Nov 3, 2011 11:16:58 GMT -6
When I was in high school our state high school league changed the low-hurdle event to 400 meters from 300 meters or whatever it was before. The first meet we ran, a kid named James crossed the finish line first on our team. It was the first time the event had been run in a meet. Our head track coach who was also the head football coach says to the kid, "congratulations, you just set a new school record!" The kid said, "in what coach?"
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mia305au
Freshmen Member
"We're either coaching it to happen, or allowing it to happen."
Posts: 41
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Post by mia305au on Nov 3, 2011 12:34:09 GMT -6
When I was in high school down in Miami, FL, we had a head coach who was about 70 years old from Kentucky. He had a bunch of great sayings. I remember we lost to our rivals, 41-0 and before the next game he said, "I'm not gonna stand up here and give you a whole pregame speil because it's like pissin' in the wind, it'll come back and hit you right in the mouth." Or he would answer your question, with a question. "Coach are we lifting weights today?" His reply, "Is a shark's a$$ water tight?" haha He was full of these. It was great.
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Post by rcole on Nov 3, 2011 12:40:27 GMT -6
Being in the deep south I have worked with more than a few characters with odd old southern or country sayings. One of my favorite descriptive sayings I have heard, in reference to an ugly girlfriend or teacher, "she would make a freight train take a dirt road."
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norm70
Probationary Member
Posts: 14
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Post by norm70 on Nov 3, 2011 18:25:14 GMT -6
Had one of our less intelligent athletes say in a film room say after a senior was late for film: HC: Adam, where the heck is Adam! Kid: points at screen hes right there coach.
Same kid on the way to a JV game in the bus. Kid: Hey coach whats in those white propane tanks?
And the same kid again, we were about a block from any bathrooms with a big crowd. Kid "coach can i go to the bathroom?" HC: where ya gonna go? Kid: Out my **** of course.
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Post by cc on Nov 3, 2011 21:02:45 GMT -6
Had a kid today, Coach does (other team) pass more than they throw???
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2011 13:39:14 GMT -6
Just now had a memory that fits this thread, although probably more funny than dumb. My class was a pretty good basketball class and we won a regional title in 7th grade. Before my class, my school had never been good at any sports really, so it was a big deal even though it was just 7th grade. Anyway, we had a couple days of practice before the sectional game and before one of them, our coach came in yelling to try to fire us up: "Are you guys satisfied?! Are you guys satisfied?!"
Well, being junior high kids, we didn't really know what he was getting at so finally my buddy Doug answered him by saying, "I'd say I am, coach. We've had a pretty good season!" Not quite the answer he was looking for, but we did indeed win the sectional game too!
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Post by blb on Nov 15, 2011 13:45:06 GMT -6
Seriously - what state(s) have Regionals and Sectionals for 7th grade sports?!
I thought it was nuts when somebody referenced 9th grade Football state tourney in another thread.
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