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Post by coachbdud on Jul 12, 2010 23:45:22 GMT -6
Just had this happen today at a varsity camp. The OC is giving the O linemen their new line splits. He calls for six inch splits. One player keeps getting it wrong. The OC says..."c'mon, don't you know how long six inches is?" A grin appears on everyone's face..."you haven't developed have you?" he says. This is gonna be a fun year. Something similar, something i am always doing when trying to get our splits bigger. Ive noticed kids have a tendancy to keep bringing their splits tighter (we go 3 foot minimum) so to get them to go bigger i tell them to get splits the size of their D!CK... high school boys always over estimate, and get the big splits i want
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Post by blb on Jul 13, 2010 6:18:42 GMT -6
Offensive line coach, resignedly:
"Well, the sled is still undefeated."
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Post by dazzleox on Jul 16, 2010 8:01:43 GMT -6
did gruden steal that one?
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Post by coachjoe3 on Jul 19, 2010 2:40:10 GMT -6
HC to a confused player who missed the previous practice:
"This team is like keeping up with that show 24. You miss one and you're screwed."
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redbug
Sophomore Member
Posts: 188
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Post by redbug on Jul 24, 2010 8:20:28 GMT -6
Heard this one this past week. We had a coach transfer from our little 4a arkansas school, to a 6a school about an hour away. He came back for a professional development meeting that he was conducting and the conversation goes like this....
Head Coach: So is everything going good? Leaving Coach: Yeah its going pretty good. HC: You don't sound convinced, what offense will you be running? LC: Well we're going to be running the clock out.
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Post by tango on Jul 24, 2010 20:48:33 GMT -6
Last night at practice our starting FB asked if he was going to be receiving any balls and I responded that he would be receiving balls later on in the night and the entire team cracked up. We were putting in waggle in the next period.
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Post by arronafflalo on Jul 25, 2010 12:52:47 GMT -6
Bob Green is the head coach of the Montana Tech Orediggers in Butte. Dude's a quote machine. My favorite of his came when someone asked him about the preseason coaches poll.
"Well, those preseason polls are kinda like a Playboy magazine. You give it a quick look, then throw it in the trash."
That one still cracks me up today.
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msalazar51
Junior Member
"Believing that 95% commitment is okay results in 100% failure."
Posts: 305
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Post by msalazar51 on Jul 25, 2010 22:28:46 GMT -6
After watching my QB Coach, coach and coach and coach a player on the same "simple" thing again, again, and again!
Me: Coach, we need to get more from (player), he needs to get this done.
QB Coach (Tennessee accent): Coach, this boy is a ball lost in high weeds!"
With that we ended Indy period, I couldn't look at that player again without hearing that comment!
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Post by davecisar on Jul 26, 2010 5:38:53 GMT -6
Youth football-
We had just beaten a team 46-6 in a game we were extemely merciful- the score was 38-0 at the half, we scored on every possession our first team was in. Every single player on the team carried the ball, backups played more than starters etc- VERY poorly coached team
In the handshake line- the HC tells me in a very serious but friendly way that he wished it could have been a better game- that had he not held out #56- their MLB- they would have stood a pretty good chance of winning. The previous game- (they got beat by 30) the player had been kicked out for fighting and the coach was holding him out of the game. I smiled and said we would have liked to see him in the game.
The score could have been 100-0- he was totally clueless how merciful I had been or how hapless his team was. I didnt have the heart to tell him I had held out my best player for an academic issue. Yep 1 player was going to turn around what could have been a 100 point differential LOL>
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Post by coachbdud on Jul 26, 2010 8:52:06 GMT -6
Youth football- We had just beaten a team 46-6 in a game we were extemely merciful- the score was 38-0 at the half, we scored on every possession our first team was in. Every single player on the team carried the ball, backups played more than starters etc- VERY poorly coached team In the handshake line- the HC tells me in a very serious but friendly way that he wished it could have been a better game- that had he not held out #56- their MLB- they would have stood a pretty good chance of winning. The previous game- (they got beat by 30) the player had been kicked out for fighting and the coach was holding him out of the game. I smiled and said we would have liked to see him in the game. The score could have been 100-0- he was totally clueless how merciful I had been or how hapless his team was. I didnt have the heart to tell him I had held out my best player for an academic issue. Yep 1 player was going to turn around what could have been a 100 point differential LOL> Coach, he forgot to mention the MLB he held out was Ray Lewis
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Post by mattyg2787 on Jul 26, 2010 15:16:35 GMT -6
My favourite one was from our hc. He has been playing for years and loves football but he doesn't have any technical understanding. Me and our oc were talking about lsu's offense when our head coach sticks his head in and says "ohthey use that cool angle blocking thing" I didn't have the heart to tell him we were leading in league rushing that's to that " angle blocking", or zone blocking as most people call it.
Same coach was joking around with a player who could make pretty much any animal noises. So the coach is going through, do a horse, elephant, etc then says do a bush pig. Without missing a beat the kid turns around and says " I'm john, I'm a bush pig'' Needless to say, I suddenly needed to be elsewhere
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Post by Chris Clement on Jul 27, 2010 13:22:28 GMT -6
My very first offensive install as a player, Coach starts describing the formation:
`The two receivers are X and Y. X is right. Y? Because it is.`
A brief pause.
`Ah sh!t. X is left. Well, that`s not funny anymore, so shut up and stop laughing.`
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Post by spreadem on Aug 6, 2010 10:08:21 GMT -6
Holy SH&T, I just spent about the last 15 minutes laughing. The covey of quail coming out of my A$$ is the winner.
This one not as good but still quite funny. Kid really having a bad day I mean 4 interceptions just struggling. Great kid, comes off after another pick says to the coach "what am i doing wrong today?"
Coach calm as can be said " son the first thing you did wrong today was put on that uniform."
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coachood
Sophomore Member
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. -Vince Lombardi
Posts: 173
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Post by coachood on Aug 9, 2010 14:16:27 GMT -6
From my OC in HS Arter a lineman got knocked into the backfield 3 times in a row: Son you're like a French {censored}, just too damn easy. After a senior got a tatto over the weekend: I've got a tatoo. It's a volkswagon beetle on my pecker, when i get excited it turns into a schoolbus.
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