Was I in the wrong?

Give a joke.. take a joke..

At our school "blowin" is really big.. kids are constantly cracking on one another..

One kid in my 5th hour is always doing it.. they all get back on him about his big nose.. but he is pretty brutal..

One day, he asked to go to the bathroom to get some tissue.. the door handle was screwed up and you couldnt just open it, it had to be opened with a key. So I tell him not right now.. Some kid made a remark about.. "man coach you might never ever let us out of here"

The other kid then makes the remark "come on man, you know coach has to eat sometime or another"

some of the other kids laugh a little..

I then get up and walk over to a cabinet and pull out a white dress shirt that was left in the room and hold it up and ask if he still needs that tissue.

I really doubt all of them got the connection between big nose and big tissue (shirt) but the whole class went crazy with laughter.

He hasnt cracked on anyone in my class after that..

I'd say, if it looks like he's being picked on, but then at a closer view, it looks like he's picking on other kids, it would suggest he's being a bully, a linear bully as my homegrown term would define him.

If he's being picked by other kids, then picking on them, it would seem as if he bullies others to feel better, as a sort of revenge in an odd sort of way. It's a psychological problem that ails him, and needs attention. Also, kids like this can be a bit fragile mentally too.

I know that seems like a load of crap to some, but this is just based off of some personal experiences I've had with people in high school.

YOU WERE WRONG! Who is the adult in the situation? We all have a$$ holes but to publicly humiliate him is abusing your power.

Separate yourself from the situation. It should have NOT even gotten to that point. Remember you are the adult. He should never be saying anything about you in public the undermines you (Weight or anything else).

You stop if from the begining. Do not even get into that nonsense with him.

The players need to respect you and know you care about them.

Now about the film:

If it was making a coaching point then no you were not wrong.... If it was to humiliate the kid then yes you were wrong. If you even have to ask the question then I think you know what the answer is......

That's pretty much my stance on it.

I think it was a mistake to put it in the highlight film. Film room fine, public consumption no.

I don't agree with what you did but I understand. Sometimes us guys like to bust on each other as friends. I do it to. I try to stay within the boundries of respect. I have found that with kids its different. You just can't do it. It creates problems.

I have found that a coach needs to step on the verbal jabbing early when you see it occur between players. Squash it out until respect within the team is gained. Then it is ok to bust as long as it is within the boundries of respect and no one is getting offended by it.

Every team will have it's internal problems. They need to work it out between themselves. It's part of being on a team. But the problems caused by jabbing back and fourth can cause a large divide. The good thing is it is easy to prevent - early.

I tell my kids that they don't have to like each other, but they do have to respect each other.

The route you went was not a good idea. I think it was disrespectful. I applaud you for your effort to try teach kids something. Right effort. Wrong method. Hey - keep trying. Goodness knows, these fragile kids need constant teaching and attention before they leave the educational environment.

Coach, don't ever stop teaching lessons.

Just my 2$$

Rule of thumb when dealing with students and players is to try and stay away from sarcasm. It can be perceived in a wrong manner and it usually will blow up in your face.

Like the other coaches said: Squash that stuff early and always be "above it".

I would not have put it in the highlight film, in effect immortalizing it FOREVER. Having some fun is ok, as many have said, showing it in film session, one time, MAY have been ok......... but putting it in the film forever was too much, IMO.

Better yet, and this is hindsight, second guessing of course, but you could have shown it to him privately and pointed out that he isn't perfect.............at least as a starting point.

You were wrong. You have to seperate yourself from the players. Some coaches walk a fine line with the players and you crossed it. I think it is good for coaches to be close to the kids, and be able to joke with them, but you always run the risk of something like this happening.

Teachers will never understand something like this. Sad fact is that you will have to work hard at rebuilding relationships with teachers. You can't just say the teachers have no bearing on what you are doing, because that just isn't true. You have to be able to work together, and you never know when you might need their help with a player's grades. This may come back to bite you and your program a little down the road, hope it doesn't!

I don't think I would have put it on the highlight tape, but I agree with dcohio as well.

wow.




Hope we can continue hold up the righteous banner of "coaching"......honor, character, and yada yada....
then pull immature, pedantic, sophomoric crap like this
current.com/items/88982162/teacher_has_class_vote_on_whether_5_year_old_can_stay_in_class.htm

It is called the burden of leadership. You are no longer a player, but an adult charged with shaping young men's self-perception. That is what makes football special. It provides the milieu for young men to embrace challenges and persevere. This type of job / responsibility affords us a perfect tool to shape these player's mentality and attitude towards being responsible to lead (through integrity).

If you did it to "teach him a lesson" (veiled retaliation) - at what point does it stop? I punch you, then you punch me....and I'm supposed to believe that punching is 'wrong'....okay, sure. What you have just reinforced was abusing authority through coercion and power thrusts. (so long as I'm the one in control.....I can do whatever I want, whether it is the right thing or not). This stunt won't stop this kid from 'blowin' in the future because he has no idea what the standard of behaving like a mature adult is like.

Gotta love the hypocritical bully-pulpit

for dcohio

Yes, HUMILIATED.
If it would have come from a teammate, that would be embarassing.
When it comes from the leader (somebody he and everyone looks up to)
That would be humiliation (intended, or not).

We should never take our power lightly.

It has been my experience that whenever anyone asks, "Did I do the wrong thing?", they already know the answer.