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Post by airraider on Jan 1, 2008 16:50:49 GMT -6
Some of you HC's or maybe high profile coordinators..
If you coach in a somewhat contained community.. and there is some type of public forum that allows for your name to keep coming up..
how do you handle it when someone posts negative things about you? Especially if its false info..
The town that I live and used to coach in.. has such a forum..
Well now I am the OC at a town north of here.. and I am a front runner for a job that plays in the same district that my home town team plays in..
well the home town team just got a new defensive minded HC.. and some people posted on the site that they wish I would come back and run the offense for the new HC..
Well several people posted responses.. most positive. but then someone.. possibly the same person.. (no need to sign in.. and can post annon..) decided to post some personal things.. about how my wife was in school when I first was a student assistant there.. and then one alluded to a coach who just was arrested for molesting a student... as in making it seem as if I had done the same thing.
Also they were talking about that I have failed the test for Social Studies due to me not being certified.. but I have never even taken the test.. Im PE certified.. and I need one more class to have the 30 hours needed to be highly qualified in Louisiana in Social Studies..
I have had to stop myself several times from responding..
I know you have to have thick skin as a coach.. but somethings are hard to take..
Just wanting to know how some of the others on here have handled such situations..
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Post by touchdowng on Jan 1, 2008 16:59:27 GMT -6
Easy to say, "Take the high road"
But really it is the ONLY WAY
As soon as you make any type of response, it WILL BE perceived the way some of the bloggin' idiots want to perceive it. Then you will have to explain what you meant when you are called to task. You can't win. You will win by not playing their game.
Control YOUR information. Don't waste your good time with those who only want to bring other's down.
Stay on places like CoachHuey and get energized.
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Post by coachd5085 on Jan 1, 2008 17:01:04 GMT -6
I am not a lawyer..(and I didn't even stay in a Holiday Inn last night, so this could be useless) BUT the written act of defamation is Libel....The online forum host could be LIABLE for libel...
Something to think about
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Post by coachorr on Jan 1, 2008 17:03:02 GMT -6
Wow, Airraider, I am sorry to hear that. It amazes me how many cowards there are in the world.
I can't tell you what to do, but I would think that since it is an open forum with anonymous posters, that you should just let it go. However, be prepared to respond to these allegations in an interview, because that is the only time it matters. Take the high road and steer clear of making any statements on that site, because you will find that it will just keep spinning. I would guess that it would only make it worse.
Sorry to hear that man. It will work out, don't get in a pissing match with a skunk.
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Post by airraider on Jan 1, 2008 17:05:08 GMT -6
I am not a lawyer..(and I didn't even stay in a Holiday Inn last night, so this could be useless) BUT the written act of defamation is Libel....The online forum host could be LIABLE for that libel... Something to think about Yea.. someone posted that.. but he didnt directly say it.. This was the exact post series.. The Jackson guy was the one that was just arrested for exposing himself to a student.. By Anonymous on Tuesday, December 25, 2007 - 08:36 pm: He was a coach at MHS while his wife was a student? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Anonymous on Tuesday, December 25, 2007 - 08:49 pm: I dont think they were married then. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Anonymous on Tuesday, December 25, 2007 - 09:14 pm: It worked out better for him than for Jackson. |
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Post by coachorr on Jan 1, 2008 17:07:41 GMT -6
Whoa, that is some heavy stuff. Just let it go.
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Post by touchdowng on Jan 1, 2008 17:08:51 GMT -6
Wow
They're posting this stuff on Christmas?
Was it during commercial breaks on Jerry Springer?
Steer clear of this forum!!!
If you are asked to respond to anything from this forum during an interview, I would again take the high road and respectfully not comment to anonymous pot shots.
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Post by airraider on Jan 1, 2008 17:09:13 GMT -6
Wow, Airraider, I am sorry to hear that. It amazes me how many cowards there are in the world. I can't tell you what to do, but I would think that since it is an open forum with anonymous posters, that you should just let it go. However, be prepared to respond to these allegations in an interview, because that is the only time it matters. Take the high road and steer clear of making any statements on that site, because you will find that it will just keep spinning. I would guess that it would only make it worse. Sorry to hear that man. It will work out, don't get in a pissing match with a skunk. Yea, most of this happened about a week ago.. and I just left it alone.. and it has died down and the topic has moved on to other things about me.. but nothing really negative in those terms.. I guess I could look at it as at least I'm getting important enough for people to hate me.. ;D |
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Post by fbdoc on Jan 1, 2008 17:12:17 GMT -6
Don't respond to the forum. You can't win those battles. However, if there is even a kernal of truth to the negatives, I would let those responsible for the hiring at the school you are a candidate know your side so the first time it gets mentioned is not the interveiw.
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Post by airraider on Jan 1, 2008 17:14:06 GMT -6
And as far as my wife being a student.. She was senior during my first year there.. I was the freshmen coach as a student assistant and had no interaction with anyone in the school other than players..
We met way before I became a coach via mutual friends..
she was a virgin the day we married..
so although it might have not been the smartest thing looking back.. there was absolutely nothing illegal going on.. especially when comparing to a 30+ married man exposing himself to a 16 year old and making suggestive comments..
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Post by tog on Jan 1, 2008 17:14:08 GMT -6
stay out of it
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Post by airraider on Jan 1, 2008 17:20:09 GMT -6
Do any of you think I should email the adminstrator and express my concern in hopes that he would remove the messages? I guess that probably would not hurt.. |
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Post by kurtbryan on Jan 1, 2008 17:30:58 GMT -6
To Airraider;
IF what they are saying about you is in fact True - then you are dead meat.
But obviously, that seems far fetched.
HOWEVER, if they are NOT TELLING THE TRUTH about YOU and are Slandering You in a Felonious manner, and/or hurting Your reputation.
Two Choices:
1. Take the High Road
2. Sue the Crap out of them and send a message.
If you are only for you...who are you?
But if you are not for you...who will be?
* Remember, Tough times don't last...but Tough People Do.
Best of luck and Do Not Let People Lie about You, ever.
KB
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Post by coachcb on Jan 1, 2008 17:59:40 GMT -6
I wouldn't worry about any of it airraid, the technological era we are living in allows people to say things that they wouldn't dare say to a person's face. If you start responding and getting involved with it, it will only get worse. Take the path of least resistance in this case. It's a hard nut to swallow, but "it is what it is" at this point.
However, as someone did point out; be prepared to answer to any of the things they're saying in an interview. It sucks that you would have to explain the nature of your marriage in an interview, but these are the days we live in. My current AD is an incredible guy who would never listen to what is being said on some message board. BUT, I have had an AD who would subscribe to that kind of bs and would bring it up if given the chance.
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Post by touchdowng on Jan 1, 2008 19:02:13 GMT -6
coachcb hits it right on the head when he said don't worry about any of it.
Can't say I agree with what coachbryan wrote about not letting people lie about you. You can never stop that one and as soon as you do, it will caste you in a bad light. I don't think he meant this literally but it goes back to that old quote, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
This is all those people are trying to do. They're just trying to get into your grill.
Kids have MySpace and I guess some people will never outgrow a place to spew out gossip.
Be a stand up guy and move forward.
It will go away and you'll be laughing about it later.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 1, 2008 21:14:43 GMT -6
Stay clear of those sites. All they are is trouble.
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Post by ajreaper on Jan 1, 2008 21:56:08 GMT -6
IMO saying you suck as a coach is one thing implying you committed what amounts to a felony is something else altogether. I'd not be inclined to simply ignore that. Personally I'd be talking to a lawyer- there's many things on a message board you wisely ignore accusing you of unethical and illegal behavior I think you swing back with a big damn club- just my two cents.
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Post by touchdowng on Jan 1, 2008 22:05:17 GMT -6
My brother is a personal damages attorney. Told him about your plight.
In his professional opinion, you can't gain enough through litigation on a situation like this to make it worth your while. And my brother is a greedy son of a buck.
If a person was named and went on record in a local paper and said some slanderous things about you and/or your wife, that would be different.
The system is flooded with people wanting to go after those who are making negative posts on those low budget forums.
Move forward.
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wagl
Sophomore Member
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Post by wagl on Jan 1, 2008 23:16:13 GMT -6
AirRaider, Dont worry about it. Never get on the site.....Never - because we have one in my town...It used to drive my wife nuts- we knock off no. 2 team in the state and I figure_man- I am gonna get on that board and watch everybody praise me...Well- what you get is a couple soreheads that feel like there kids didnt get enough pt or thatmaybe somebody's kids played because there momma was better loking?  Do what is best for your kids and come on coachhuey.com and tell all of us about it...dont get on localyocal.com- they got no guts. |
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Post by k on Jan 2, 2008 0:01:17 GMT -6
If there is that perception out there you might want to watch the things you say even in jest. You've made a couple comments that were borderline in a previous post on this board in the same general area...
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Post by airraider on Jan 2, 2008 8:43:11 GMT -6
If there is that perception out there you might want to watch the things you say even in jest. You've made a couple comments that were borderline in a previous post on this board in the same general area... Please explain... |
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Post by rbsuknow on Jan 2, 2008 9:46:16 GMT -6
we have a forum just like that here....gotta love small town football.
Coaches get bashed all the time. Same thing happened to our HC so he got in touch with the admin of the message board and threatened to take legal action if the thread was not taken down. You may want to try this.
Just don't reply to these idiots it will only piss you off more.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 2, 2008 10:16:41 GMT -6
I've never dealt with a message board, airraid, but I have dealt with the talking heads before. I'll tell you a little story; funny stuff now, but it wasn't at the time.
Several years ago, I was coaching freshman football in one of the largest schools in the state. Being a freshman coach, I was responsible for taking stats up in the box during varsity games. There were 3 freshman coaches that did this, but we only needed two guys to do it. So we took turns; one of us was generally in the stands with the freshman football team, making sure they didn't get into trouble.
After several games of sitting out in the stands, I was losing my mind. The things that the community was saying abouy the varsity staff was incredible. Everything from playing time, to X's and O's, to serious personal stuff. At one point, I decided to open up my mouth... Here's the jist of the dialogue.
-Dad 1: "This is crap, who does he think he is starting juniors and sophmores over seniors".
-Dad 2: "I know; those sophmore's f-ing suck, everyone knows that" (Referring to 2 soph OL that are both looking at scholarships from DI schools)
-Dad 1- 'Sophomore OL #1 is a lard a-- idiot and #2 is lazy as sh-t. Starting them over Senior OL #1 (his kid) is b.s. Man we gotta get rid of these coaches."
-Me: "Did either of your kids lift all summer?
Dad 1: "Of course he lifted (rolls his eyes)."
Me: "where?"
Dad 2: "they both lifted in the high school weight room, who the f--- are you"
Me: "I'm the guy that worked in the high school weight room all summer and neither of your kids were there. In fact, they weren't there last summer either. Those two 16 year old kids you were just trashing worked their butts off in the weight room all year. That's why they're playing."
Dad 1 and Dad 2(in unison)- RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE!!!!
Me- (walk away)
I felt pretty good about it until both parents took it to the administration. They made an incredible stink about it and I was still dealing with it at the end of the year. If I had just let it alone, I would have saved myself a lot of problems.
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Post by coachorr on Jan 2, 2008 11:07:28 GMT -6
Coach Cb, thanks for the story. I need to hear stuff like that so that when the time should arise I will do what you "should" (notice the word "should") have done.  Politics is a pain in the neck. BTW, nice job, so what if you had to deal with the crap, you made the point that had to be made. I probably would have done exactly the same thing; eventhough, we should all walk away. What a catch 22. |
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bhb
Junior Member
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Post by bhb on Jan 2, 2008 17:08:48 GMT -6
Don't even visit those boards.. I know it's tempting, but there's no quality, serious football talk on them- just a bunch of gossip and rumor spreaders.. The typical High school board consists of angry parents, or students who want to talk trash about other schools- even if they have to make stuff up to do it..
And if you do happen to venture to them don't EVER give them the satisfaction of knowing that a Coach actually reads there slop..
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Post by tcm57 on Jan 2, 2008 18:40:18 GMT -6
I believe you already mentioned that it seems to have "died down". There is great advice here ... don't reply or you'll keep fanning the flames.
There's a great quote ... "A leader does not enjoy the luxury of his critics, who have opinions about everything but take responsibility for nothing."
The ONLY way to get back at these cowards is to keep winning!
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Post by coachcb on Jan 2, 2008 18:41:38 GMT -6
Coach Cb, thanks for the story. I need to hear stuff like that so that when the time should arise I will do what you "should" (notice the word "should") have done. Politics is a pain in the neck. BTW, nice job, so what if you had to deal with the crap, you made the point that had to be made. I probably would have done exactly the same thing; eventhough, we should all walk away. What a catch 22. It felt good at the time, but it was pain in the butt to deal with afterward. The community I was coaching in is ridiculously critical of everything in education and coaching. It's a very wealthy, uptight, white collar community that does it best to control everything athletics related. If any of the parents have an issue with you, they will do their best to railroad you out of town; petitions to fire coaches aren't uncommon. Heck, they come after teachers with an utter vengance as well... It was a good thing that those two dads were swearing up a storm; took the validity out of their complaint. However, they rose holy-hell about me from that point on. Bottom line- it just wasn't worth it in the long run. The talking heads are going to keep on talking, no matter what you do. Don't make yourself a more visible target. You'll end up angry and more focused on the morons than working with the kids. There will always be parent issues in coaching; winning just cuts down on them. |
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Do what is best for your kids and come on coachhuey.com and tell all of us about it...dont get on localyocal.com- they got no guts.
Politics is a pain in the neck.