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Post by coachmathis on May 1, 2007 10:36:53 GMT -6
How do you guys make time for your family,if you have one, during football season? I mean there are tons of hours to work. I recently interviewed for a position in which the coach told me that they work 7 days a week and on Sunday they have at times been there as late as 10 pm. Im a family guy who loves coaching! I have coaching goals that I would like to reach one day but I have to admit that I am considering getting out of coaching and going the administrative route and becoming a principle. Im married with a 4 month old son and I wanna be there as much as I possibly can but I know that when I coach I don't know any other way but to pour my soul and everything that I've got into the sport. How do you guys balance the two? I mean I wanna be able to make it to little league games and pick him up from school etc.
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Post by coachbw on May 1, 2007 10:46:29 GMT -6
We do a couple of things . . . 1st instead of going out as a staff and drinking after the games, we will go somewhere with the wives, eat, have a few drinks and hang out for a couple of hours. We also try to keep Sundays as free as possible, often we are just making phone calls on Sunday to clean up the game plan. As a head coach I also make sure that there is at least 1 night (usually Wednesday or Thursday) when we don't have meetings or film after practice so we are home and free to be with the family by 6.
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Post by oguru on May 1, 2007 10:47:57 GMT -6
The off season Janaury-March and then June-August are the times you spend time with your family. During the sumemr I would work 1/2 days unless we had saff meetings and then spend the rest of the time with my wife and son. Coaching is the one profession where you don't have a set vacation. You woprk seven days a week 365 days a year. Before my wife and I had a child I was in the office seven days a week during the off season getting work done. However that curved off after my son was born.
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Post by larrymoe on May 1, 2007 15:43:50 GMT -6
I don't even look at it as "making time for my family". I look at it as making time for football.
This may put me in the minority on this site, but my daughter and wife are monumentally more important to me than watching our week 3 opponent a fifth time on tape. This has changed in the last couple of years as we've had our daughter, but there is no way you should ever shortchange your family for a game. I just don't get that. You'll be a dad and husband for the rest of your life. Coaching will someday end.
I worked with a guy whose son hates him and his daughter is afraid of him simply because he's never home. And he sees no problem with that whatsoever. I could never be like that.
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herky
Sophomore Member
Posts: 189
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Post by herky on May 1, 2007 16:31:33 GMT -6
I worked with a guy whose son hates him and his daughter is afraid of him simply because he's never home. And he sees no problem with that whatsoever. I could never be like that. Kinda makes you wonder why he had kids in the first place.
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Post by coachmoore42 on May 1, 2007 16:36:49 GMT -6
This is the "holy grail" of coaching discussions. Luckily I work with middle school and I am able to do most of the work by myself on my own time (I don't have to leave the house). I may stick with middle school for this and a few other reasons.
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Post by fbdoc on May 1, 2007 16:38:11 GMT -6
There are many ways to "work" at coaching, so what follows is simply my opinion, based on having done this for a few years. I'm not trying to sound like a know it all, but this is something I feel strongly about.
Too many coaches, IMO, think that the more time they spend in the office, the better their team will be. I believe that the guys who go 7 days a week till late at night are doing so out of Fear. They are afraid they may have missed something or they're afraid somebody else is working "harder" than they are. They spend all that time watching a tape over and over, asking "What if they run the speed option out of Ace formation into the boundary..." Coach, they're NOT going to run it, and if they do, your guys will probably make the tackle, IF you've coached them! I've only had to work for a Grinder once and that was enough...
As the OC at a Conference Champion and NAIA National Playoff Team we were NEVER in the office past 7:00 PM unless it was a recruiting call evening. The header and both coordinators all had kids and we felt family was most important. Now winning was important to, and as such, we worked more efficiently during the day and at practice so we felt confident that we had coached/prepared our players well. THEY felt confident because they had been coached/prepared well. There is truly a point of Diminishing Returns and while we worked very hard to be the best team we could - and we were pretty good - it never felt like WORK.
Don't make the mistake of thinking more time spent on football makes you a better coach or your team a better team. Be a better coach in the time you have your players and BE THE BEST DAD you can be in the time you SHOULD be with your family. IMO.
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Post by larrymoe on May 1, 2007 16:50:27 GMT -6
fbdoc- great post
herky- he has four
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Post by coachmathis on May 2, 2007 7:51:12 GMT -6
I agree with fbdoc, my philosophy is work smarter not harder. I was on a staff that went 11-1 and went to overtime the game before state and I watched the least amount of film of the entire coaching staff but I was just as prepared. Instead of watching it 50 times I watch tape a couple of times. Take notes the first time and then make sure my notes are correct the second time and I wont watch it much after 3 times or so. Oguru- that just doesn't work for me as far as when to spend time with ur family. I chose to be a father and a husband and those are the two most important things to me. My son and my wife need me around 365, not just 4 or 5 months. I would consider myself a Steve Spurrier type if what I've heard about him is true, that he works 9-5 or basically a normal work day and goes home. I can win every game I coach for the rest of my life and I wouldnt be happy if I didnt take care of my responsibilty as a husband and a father. Just my opinon though. I am at a bit of crossroads and I am considering becoming a principal and getting out of coaching. If I can find a job that works like Fbdocs, then I would be happy but here in Texas where football is more than just king, I would venture to say there are very few programs who don't feel like they have to work 7 days a week.
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Post by donaldduck on May 2, 2007 9:45:48 GMT -6
My family is much more important than anything else. My wife and kids also know that sometimes in the fall, I won't see them much (i.e. Thursday - Saturday). My wife had no clue about the life of a coach, and neither did I when we got married. She has become the most supporting and helpful person because she respects my role as the leader of our home. If a coach doesn't have that in a bride, it will be a rough go.
I'm involved in some interviews, but I know that even if I get offered a job, if it's not a good fit for my FAMILY (not necessarily myself or career) I'm not going. My family comes before a promotion, raise, or anything else an employer could offer me.
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Post by pigskin13 on May 2, 2007 10:14:49 GMT -6
I'll weigh-in on this because I, like most of us, have strong feelings on the issue. We try to abide by the "work smarter" rule. One of my biggest annoyances are coaches who give you "well we were on the practice field until 6:30" routine... or "we were in the film room for 12 hours on saturday and worked another 10 hours on sunday" guys. In my opinion, these are the guys who work in between telling stories and bs-ing. Hey, have a work plan. Set it up on a flexible time schedule, and go do it. And if you aren't getting it done, then look at the big picture... what is going on when you are supposed to be working: Example: "Next Play: 2nd & 7, Left Hash, Spread, IZ" NEXT!! or...."Hey I remember 6 years ago we ran that same play in the semi-finals down at... ohh heck where were we coach... down at Beamont, yeah that was it... who was the Head Coach down there then, oh yeah him. He was a great guy, genius with the Wing-T. I think he got it from Brownsville back in the mid-70's... BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
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Post by superpower on May 2, 2007 10:21:18 GMT -6
I make every effort to be done with football by mid-afternoon on Saturdays, so there is a decent amount of time to spend with my wife on the weekend. We also meet as a coaching staff on Sunday night for a couple of hours. Otherwise, I want my asst. coaches to get away from fb for the weekend and recharge their batteries. I am also blessed with a wife who completely understands the time required to do what I do, and two of my kids are college age while my youngest will be a senior next year. Family time for me is mostly wife time.
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Post by bulldogoption on May 2, 2007 10:36:05 GMT -6
As you become a better coach, more familiar with your schemes, find more answers to problems, establish discipline, practice effort, practice structure, etc. you will be able to spend less time at practice and more time with your family. I think this comes down to how well you can coach. When you struggle to find answers it can drive you to put in the hours that some have mentioned. If you are pretty confident with how your practices, drills, schemes work, you don't need to spend all the extra time creating the wheel.
I agree family should be most important. I have been the HC for two seasons now in a rebuilding process. Started with a bad program. We are improving, staff is becoming more familiar with practice structure, drills, schemes etc etc etc. I am really looking forward to this season because I know in my gut that our practices will flow smoother for all the reasons I mentioned, which will allow me and my staff to be with our families more......
I put in long hours some times, but I don't necessarily enjoy it. I would rather be with my family and confident that my plan works. I am getting closer and closer to getting there (less time on football, more with family) as I become a better and better coach.
Also I try to work at school and when my kids are in bed. To quote Zevon "I'll sleep when I'm dead....."
Great Topic!!!!!
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Post by pigskin13 on May 2, 2007 10:46:26 GMT -6
Great last thought bulldogoption. Same way here... if I need the extra time I put on the coffee right after dinner, play with the kids and do the family thing, they go to bed, I get out the laptop and the remote... Also, a lot of early mornings during the fall.
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Post by kloranc on May 2, 2007 11:07:07 GMT -6
I like to get things done early during the season also. Those early morning hours are pretty useful because your kids are asleep during this time. I would rather go to bed early and get things done in the morning because I get a little groggy the next day if I do it the other way around. I am a DC and most of the defensive assistants coach JV games on Saturdays. I try to get as much done as possible on Saturday so that the assistants don't have to be up their all day on Sunday. If I go in early Saturday, I can usually get out of there in time to spend some time with the wife and kids and not have to be there 10 hours on Sunday.
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Post by spartancoach on May 2, 2007 11:31:04 GMT -6
As an offensive guy, defenses in our conference are just not that complex. Game planning is really just tweaks to our system based upon the defensive schemes and personnel. Most of the "football time" that our coaches spend off the practice field is reviewing film and strategizing on our own. After we have each individually watched our own game and opponent to our heart's content, we meet to exchange notes/thoughts and review together the handful of plays that we think we need to review together. Personally, I do most of the film review before my wife and daughter wake up, or after they go to bed between Sat. night and Mon. morning. When I do review film with them there on the weekend my daughter usually notes DB alignment, while my wife charts DL techniques, but we try to keep that to a minimum. The football time really does not cut into family time that significantly.
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Post by superpower on May 2, 2007 11:32:17 GMT -6
Another thought here, and some of you may disagree, which is just fine. Just because a coach or a staff puts in tons of time during the week nights or weekends breaking down film and game planning for every situation doesn't mean that the team will be successful. Sometimes we have to learn to work smarter, not harder.
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Post by tothehouse on May 2, 2007 12:05:27 GMT -6
Since I do a lot of our filmwork (well, all of it) there are times when I have minutes, hours in between burning etc. I feel like my kids see me a ton during the season and enjoy the time with them.
I have also started a "wall of fame" in my kids room. They pick out the players they like from different years teams and I get a picture of that player in action. I then have that player sign the picture for my kids and we put it up in their room.
My little guys know I spend a lot of time with football. I am adding them into it, because it is fun for everyone.
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Post by fbdoc on May 2, 2007 12:24:27 GMT -6
Tothehouse made the KEY statement - Fun for All. If the kids enjoy playing on the sideline, being ballboys, or watching their heroes then you are on the right track! And if you happen to be blessed with that great football wife (I am!) then you are going to have a long and happy career/marriage/family!
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Post by wingt74 on May 2, 2007 13:58:25 GMT -6
In Aug, 2.5 hrs M through F. 4 Hrs on Saturday. Nothing on Sunday (Save for general articles, this website, etc)
Not a minute more...as that is probably to much. Even if it meant having a better record (which I know it won't) I still wouldn't spend less time with my wife and son over football.
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Post by groundchuck on May 2, 2007 14:39:31 GMT -6
It is tough especially if your job involves a commute of any length like mine did for 5 years. I never saw my kids on Friday during the season. But I always try and be a good husband and father above all else. I am blessed to have a great family.
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Post by coachveer on May 2, 2007 15:32:07 GMT -6
For me once the season begins my golf/fishing/hunting/and hanging out with the buddies end. Any and all of my free time is spent with my family. I work, coach, and go shopping for shoes. My wife is wonderful and gives me all the time that I need to be the best coach I can be. All she asks is when I am done with football that my body and MIND be focused on the family.
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Post by brophy on May 2, 2007 15:50:28 GMT -6
make them a part of what you are doing...if you try to split the time, you will eventually neglect one.
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ex-centralcoach
Junior Member
[F4:@marcmarinelli ] [F4:marcmarinelli]
Posts: 384
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Post by ex-centralcoach on May 2, 2007 16:18:15 GMT -6
This is a great topic. Our HC makes it alot easier to be with our family on the weekends. We meet as a staff on sat. morning at 7, the kids get there at 930, and we are out after watching KEY points on film with them and a light workout by 1130. While the offense is reviewing the film the D guys are making DVDs of the next opponent, and then the O guys duplicate them for the coaches and players while the D guys go over the film. We dont meet again as a staff till 800 Sunday night. Each of us can then break down film on our own time, we each to our part of the game plan and Sunday night come together to with our own thoughts. I really think that this makes for a happier staff, with more energy which the kids always feed off of. I think it was one of the little things that help win us a state championship.
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Post by slydaddy on May 2, 2007 16:19:58 GMT -6
I am with you guys. I love football and now coach junior high football. Before that, I was a h.s assistant on a successful team. We were 11-2, 9-4, and 11-2, and went deep into the playoffs. Here was the schedule for a typical week: Monday - Wednesday 1:30 - 6:30 including weights, practice, and film; Thursday 1:30 - 4:00 walkthrough; Friday - game (didn't see wife and kid at all this day); Saturday 8:00 am - whenever we got done; Sunday 9:30 am till usually 2:00 am Monday morning. The hours were ridiculous. Our DC had to watch every play on every film we had of the opponent multiple times (early in the season we had 2-3 tapes, later in season usually 5-6 tapes to break down). Another assistant and I would have all our work done by 1:00 pm on Sunday including charts, breakdowns, stats, grades, etc. Then our OC would just want to ramble on about 5 hours on the wing-t. Now mind you, we saw basically vanilla defenses. We wasted so much time through b.s It was quantity over quality. Our extra hours never helped us one bit. To top that off, every asssitant except DC and OC had absolutely no input on game plans. We gathered info. and did the crap work. Our HC just wanted to say he worked harder than anybody else. Well, he didn't. He just worked stupidly. Therefore, I had to get out. I am sure I am seen by that HC as someone who didn't won't to work. That is not the case, and I am working smarter now, not harder or longer. And my teams have only lost 3 games in three years since I became junior high head coach.
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Post by bulldogoption on May 2, 2007 20:42:04 GMT -6
All she asks is when I am done with football that my body and MIND be focused on the family. And exactly how do you accomplish the MIND part coach? ?
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herky
Sophomore Member
Posts: 189
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Post by herky on May 2, 2007 21:33:42 GMT -6
I felt very fortunate to be teaching at the same school as Tog this year. Not only did I see him for a few minutes each day, it also gave me just that much more of an investment in the program.
Tog works 7 days a week and the hardest time is that first week, adjusting to the new schedule. But then it becomes our lifestyle and our situation works well for us. Do I think the time spent is always the most efficient? No, but I understand the intent and know some staffs are better at finding that balance than others.
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Post by bulldogoption on May 2, 2007 22:09:54 GMT -6
I'm from the midwest. My impressions, completely based on things I have heard, of Texas football are that it is similar to college football in terms of schemes, preparations and expectations. That lifestyle doesn't surprise me. Is this, in fact, the case in Texas AND is it the case for all levels or just larger schools?
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Post by tog on May 3, 2007 6:10:31 GMT -6
For most all of Texas HS, it is 7 days a week. Some spend less time and do things more efficient than others.
Generally though, the higher up in classification you go, the more complex the schemes get and it does take time to break things down, and to gameplan. You can get outcoached and out x and o'd pretty quick if you just bring almost the same adjustments into each game. The other side is watching film too.
It is part of my job to put these kids in the best possible position to make a play. They may not always have the athletic ability to get it done, but if I don't work to get them to that position then 1. it isn't what is best for the kids 2 we will lose and this will affect my career goals
I am just lucky to have the wife that I do. She understands. Plus, it allows her to watch football on Saturdays without me flipping back and forth between 8 different games.
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Post by donaldduck on May 3, 2007 6:47:15 GMT -6
Well said, tog. I don't mind working long hours on a Saturday so we can get all our stuff done. I also wouldn't mind working shorter hours on Sat and a couple of hrs after church on Sunday to get every thing done.
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