Discipline advice?

I did try the meeting. And the next day the kid I’m talking about put a very inappropriate post on social media. I just kind of felt it was a slap in the face after the day before I had told them to cool it. We work out year round with our players. Especially the ones who only play football and run track. Obviously me talking is not working and I’m concerned about about our team dynamic. But I definitely understand how it’s hard to remove a player when it’s not season and I know it’s going to be a lot of drama with parents either way I go.

Maybe he's looking for attention he is not getting elsewhere? Remember that these guys are still kids.

Not too long ago, just a couple of years...they believed in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and cried when they skinned a knee. You might be the only adult male he will respect. Give it another try.

They can't be expected to handle things as adults do.

If he's not violent or prone to break school rules perhaps you could be patient enough (within reason) to give him some slack.

You mentioned a possible legal problem. Why not wait until that question is resolved then re-think this?

I agree with your former coach...don't lose a player, (if you can help it), in the offseason.

Can I join the club? Had a player last week get his third out of school suspension since May 2023. I disagree with "there is no team because it is the off season". We are in conditioning and doing things as a team and the other players are watching to see the difference between the ivory tower standards and the reality of when a good player gets in trouble. The Superintendent kept him out all summer after the first offense, second offense I sat him for a few games. I think his baseball season will be taken away so... is a ban on athletics the rest of the year too much. We do spring football practice for 2 weeks before school lets out.

Administration is trying to help, but they are cautious with anything that doesn’t happen at school. Which is a big reason why the problem has gotten this far out of hand. They will back me with whatever I decide to do. I’m very lucky in that aspect. They let me run my team the way I want, they just want me to communicate with them so they aren’t blindsided with anything. There may not be a right answer for this problem. I’m just looking for some advice. I figure somebody has been in this spot before and may be able to share a little wisdom. I do appreciate the comments so far.

Echoing what others have said...I would get the AD involved ASAP.

It sounds like the legal stuff isn't sorted out yet but we've had kids miss school time due to criminal convictions and its an immediate removal from the team. Sports and extracurriculars are a privilege.

This sounds like one of those "board policy" type situations. I would do a check in with the school admin and see what they want you to do, if anything.

Team Building 101: "Get the right people on the bus, and the wrong people off of the bus."

Years ago, I was coaching on a team that had a kid like this. Very good player for us. The head coach didn’t want to lose him because he was such a good player.. So they tried to work around his issues. The kid didn’t go to practice on Monday because he had court-mandated counseling and then he missed every other Tuesday because he had to see his probation officer. The kid actually scheduled those appointments after school so he could miss practice. He only practiced on Wednesday and Thursday and still was a 2-way starter on Friday. And he was a bad kid. And he kept getting extra chances. As good as he was, he did not make a difference. We still ended up 3-6. In hindsight, what we should have done was create some kind of behavior contract with him and held him to it and when he violated it, he would have a consequence like sitting out a game. It sounds like the kid in this thread is similar. Given that, I would sit down with the administration and create a behavior contract with consequences for noncompliance


Last thing…if you are going to kick a kid off the team, I would recommend having paperwork and records of why you are kicking him off the team.

This is tough. I tell my players don't put me in a position where I'm wrong no matter what I do. You're wrong for being too lenient or you're wrong for being too punitive.

Would you mind sharing what the "legal stuff" is? I think it matters.

If it is a drug situation, then counseling is a must.

If it is a violence situation, then counseling is a must.

For the kid, all of the rehabilitation options need to be visited.

It was a drug/alcohol issue. Charges were pretty much wiped away due to age. The problem is everybody knows about it and knows he did it...... I do appreciate all the advice. Some great ideas here. I'm gonna try to combine them to come up with the best solution. In hindsight I should have had something written up for all of my players to sign so I wouuldn't be in this predicament.

Honestly, those agreements aren't worth the paper they're printed on. Anything that's not school/school board policy, especially if it happens off of school ground is hard to enforce. This really is something that needs to be handled by admin according to school/school board policy, otherwise you risk putting yourself in a tough spot. If they continue being a bad teammate, you can control their playing time and reps, both during practice and games. 

When we have players that need discipline, we literally make them stand in the corner, by themselves. We take away their practice reps. Running them can turn them into some kind of martyr, and especially if the kid is generally popular, it turns into one of those movie scenes the kids have seen where everyone jumps in and runs with them. I hate that.

 I think coachdmyers is spot on in this post.

This sounds like an administrative issue.

Now some things I would look into are if he was a captain.....not anymore. If you have not selected captains yet then he's not one.