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Post by woodna50 on Sept 11, 2022 22:08:05 GMT -6
Hi fellas,
Longtime lurker on here, but have never posted before. We lost a player in a fatal car crash this afternoon and I feel like I'm drowning between my personal emotions, the fact that I'm the school counselor, and the head football coach. Just wondering if any of you have advice on how to handle meeting the teams needs and how to work through this difficult time together?
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Post by carookie on Sept 11, 2022 23:23:51 GMT -6
My prayers and condolences. I've lost teammates and students before, it isnt easy. I've been lucky enough to coach and work at Christian schools recently which helped, as we could lean on our faith and know that we could lean on each other the same way.
I remember losing a teammate my senior year just before the season began, some people wanted to play some couldnt bring themselves to; lots of different ways people needed to deal with it. I would advise, if you and your staff are capable, is be ready to offer a variety of options for the boys & be ready to accommodate those where they are at.
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Post by tog on Sept 11, 2022 23:54:59 GMT -6
Hi fellas, Longtime lurker on here, but have never posted before. We lost a player in a fatal car crash this afternoon and I feel like I'm drowning between my personal emotions, the fact that I'm the school counselor, and the head football coach. Just wondering if any of you have advice on how to handle meeting the teams needs and how to work through this difficult time together? we lost a player a few years ago to a drug overdose sucked we had individual meetings with the rest of the players by position group, heard them,, then moved on as they wished we (they) wanted to play your situation may be different, suggest have your position coaches meet with players and talk about it, then hc decide how to proceed. a truly horrible thing to deal with |
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Post by freezeoption on Sept 12, 2022 16:28:23 GMT -6
In 2000 we lost probably our best player in a car accident. That was on a Sunday night. Funeral was Thursday. We played game Friday. We had kids crying all week. Played a team that should have smoked us but we played out of our minds. After game it was a cry fest. Some said not to play game. Family wanted us to play. Being a coach is like being a counselor. Kids are going need help through this and be there to listen. Sorry I can't give you more. Do what is best for your team.
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Need help
Sept 12, 2022 18:38:05 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by tripsclosed on Sept 12, 2022 18:38:05 GMT -6
Sorry for yall's loss, coach 😥 Just be there for the one's that want you to be there. Tell them at the next meeting that you are there for any of them any time they need to talk, and leave it at that. Dont push anyone, just let them come to you as they feel the need to.
Each week, take tally of who wants to play and is in a frame of mind to play. If you have enough to play a safe game, do so, and tell the ones who dont want to they are still part of the team, no matter what.
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Post by coachwoodall on Sept 12, 2022 20:11:44 GMT -6
Hi fellas, Longtime lurker on here, but have never posted before. We lost a player in a fatal car crash this afternoon and I feel like I'm drowning between my personal emotions, the fact that I'm the school counselor, and the head football coach. Just wondering if any of you have advice on how to handle meeting the teams needs and how to work through this difficult time together? Several moons ago, we played an out of state opponent on one of the nationally televised 'games of the week'. It was an ESPN game, in all the news outlets, and the team coming to us was ALL on the news as one of the 'Muck Boys' teams in the early 2000s from FLA. Weekend before we played, kid from the visiting team from FLA got shot and killed. All agreed that the game should go on. There was a tribute to the kid before the game. Our fans did a pass the hat type fund raiser for over $5000 for the family. And we played a hades of a football game. Don't underestimate the power of routine to help work through tough times. |
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lws55
Sophomore Member
Posts: 241 
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Post by lws55 on Sept 13, 2022 7:26:22 GMT -6
My second year at a school we had our OC commit suicide, the following summer we had a player drown, the year after that we had another player drown. I can tell you that it is hard to deal with, but you need to let the players grieve in their own way. Some players just want to move on and have a normal routine, some players want to hold on to it and have it for motivation.
There is something to be said for a sense of normalcy when it comes to dealing with these types of issues. But don't shy away from acknowledging the fact that it happened. Address the elephant in the room and then move on, have a simple tribute for the player, such as there jersey on the bench, to remind the players that life happens fast and they need to live it.
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Post by cwaltsmith on Sept 13, 2022 12:40:34 GMT -6
I've lost 3 players... one thing I can tell you that doesn't sound like a lot of help is there is no correct answer on how to handle it. On one occasion I felt like our kids had a hard time moving on bc or things we did to remember him each game. I prolly feel best about the time when that team met talked cried... then focused on remembering him in each's on way. We game jersey to parent at 1st game and didn't do much in our day to day (again some kids individually did but not as a team). Another time we carried the young man's jersey to he coin flip every game the next year. Looking back I believe this made it hard to emotionally have closure. Prayers are with you guys!!. Will say we played the 1st snap on defense of the next season with 10 players & no one in his spot.... picked a pass off and players went nuts... was a great moment.
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Post by dubber on Sept 14, 2022 7:45:24 GMT -6
Tragedy is easier faced as a group/family.
Kids will all grieve differently, as a counselor, you know that. You also know that listening is far more powerful than any words you can think to say.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, and that is not a platitude.
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