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Post by Down 'n Out on Oct 13, 2021 3:47:33 GMT -6
I don't think anyone said they were an expert, the OP asked a question and many have responded with how they would handle the situation and their thoughts on the situation.
IMO, don't let the kid talk with the team. Usually im all about open dialogue but if the kids truly having problems you're opening the door to problems, if the kid is faking/looking for attention then you're opening the door to problems. I also think there has to be a stated process that he must go through to return to the team in the future that addresses the uniqueness of this situation vs a more traditional reason for quitting.
Regardless of your thoughts on his reason for quitting take it serious.
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Post by RunThePistol on Oct 13, 2021 7:06:16 GMT -6
He quit, he's no longer part OF the TEAM... request denied. Turn your stuff and we wish you well.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2021 7:39:13 GMT -6
It is a serious medical issue. If you say it, you are gone.
Same with concussions. Automatic 3 days and a doctors note. And you will not play in the game that week or practice, participate in team activities until you are cleared by a doctor.
My boss will tell you it his name that is on the door, that appears in the newspaper, coroners report, police blog.
Whether you think it real or not is if no consequence. You cannot afford that stance anymore.
Get him/her away from your team ASAP. Notify the school, parents immediately .
Cover with parents and kids repeatedly.
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Post by 19delta on Oct 13, 2021 11:39:21 GMT -6
Not enough valid information. A lot of self declared experts on mental health issues. Without having enough information. Is that the way these „experts“ prepare for their games? Developing an game plan without collecting enough informations? If he has serious, maybe life threatening problems: would you be the guy to tell him to shut up? Why does the NFL supports campaigns, addressing these issues? Go and get professional support. You are not an expert in this field. Even if it is a fake, this professional will have a way for you to deal with it. You are a coach. And this a game you don’t want to lose! Go find a professional that will help you, the player and your team. That is true strength. And you are sending a message: I don’t have the the answer, but my promise is that I will do every thing that I can do to help my players. Even I am not shure. I do care for you! Even if the professional tells you: “he is faking” it will still work out for you. Who is telling him to shut up? |
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Post by larrymoe on Oct 13, 2021 12:04:12 GMT -6
Not enough valid information. A lot of self declared experts on mental health issues. Without having enough information. Is that the way these „experts“ prepare for their games? Developing an game plan without collecting enough informations? If he has serious, maybe life threatening problems: would you be the guy to tell him to shut up? Why does the NFL supports campaigns, addressing these issues? Go and get professional support. You are not an expert in this field. Even if it is a fake, this professional will have a way for you to deal with it. You are a coach. And this a game you don’t want to lose! Go find a professional that will help you, the player and your team. That is true strength. And you are sending a message: I don’t have the the answer, but my promise is that I will do every thing that I can do to help my players. Even I am not shure. I do care for you! Even if the professional tells you: “he is faking” it will still work out for you. Who is telling him to shut up? His perception of other coaches. |
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Post by newhope on Oct 13, 2021 12:08:45 GMT -6
We have a player that wants to quit citing mental health issues. Say's he "can't even watch the game right now" and it's best for him if he quits. In today's society I get all that and will listen when the boy wants to talk. However, he wants to address the team and I am concerned that given this players status it may start a trend. We are bad, we are fragile, and we are in the toughest part of our season. Part of me doesn't want to let the player address the team. Thoughts? Nope. Help him all you can---make sure he gets to see the proper professionals. But do NOT give him a platform to address the team. I can't see a positive for anyone in that situation. |
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Post by newhope on Oct 13, 2021 12:12:30 GMT -6
I am from a generation that was taught...when you start something, finish it, see it all the way through. After that you can evaluate the experience for yourself. Seeing school "counselors" is just a means to get reenforcement for attention. Just another participation trophy kid. There are way too many of those and not enough maturing young men and women graduating from High School. It's our fault for coddling them. What we're doing now is building a generation of politically correct BUSSIES. Tell him to turn in his gear...and don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out. That's the kind of stuff that will get you fired. He's informed you of mental health issues. You have a professional duty to make sure he is referred to the proper professionals at school who can help him. |
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Post by newhope on Oct 13, 2021 12:14:12 GMT -6
It is a serious medical issue. If you say it, you are gone. Same with concussions. Automatic 3 days and a doctors note. And you will not play in the game that week or practice, participate in team activities until you are cleared by a doctor. My boss will tell you it his name that is on the door, that appears in the newspaper, coroners report, police blog. Whether you think it real or not is if no consequence. You cannot afford that stance anymore. Get him/her away from your team ASAP. Notify the school, parents immediately . Cover with parents and kids repeatedly. Oh hell, I find myself agreeing with pithy : ) But he is spot on this time |
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Oct 13, 2021 12:22:48 GMT -6
Regardless of one's personal opinion on "why" the young man is quitting we should handle it with grace. If a kid comes to me thinking about quitting I always give them a chance to change their mind- maybe end of the day or weekend etc. 9/10 times that kid quits anyway. But I think the least you can do is offer them the chance to really think about it before they commit (or decommit if you will).
My 2 cents is:
1. Deny him talking to the team- he can do that individually on his own time.
2. Contact all parties as you legally must when dealing with a child- parents, admin, counseling office etc.
3. Have an outgoing conversation wishing him the best and collect all equipment.
4. Remove him from all messaging apps/hudl.
5. Do not speak openly regarding the status of the now former player to anyone but those you contacted- his business stays his business.
6. Follow-up with those other parties.
I know not 100% of the members here work in education, but I would say this adheres pretty closely to what is standard practice in an educational setting. Whether we agree or not, scholastic sports are mostly considered "enrichment" activities that fall under the same umbrella as classroom education.
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CoachSP
Sophomore Member
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Post by CoachSP on Oct 13, 2021 13:45:06 GMT -6
I'm probably not letting him talk to the team. I am also reporting this to someone above me. Like some have said, we are not doctors or professionals in this type of thing. All I know, is that it can be serious. Report it and move on.
Whether or not the whole world is a bunch of sissies has NOTHING to do with this kid or the team. Again, report it, wish him well, and move on.
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Post by gian3074 on Oct 13, 2021 13:47:40 GMT -6
My personal opinion: he probably wants to address the team to dissuade his teammates from thinking that he's a quitter. Just my opinion. Whether he gets that platform is up to the coach. I don't really care either way.
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Post by coachcb on Oct 13, 2021 14:43:48 GMT -6
My personal opinion: he probably wants to address the team to dissuade his teammates from thinking that he's a quitter. Just my opinion. Whether he gets that platform is up to the coach. I don't really care either way.
That was my thought as well. He's a teenage boy and I imagine he wants to save some face with his teammates, given the issues that he potentially has going on. I can understand and empathize with that and think he needs to talk to his teammates. But, not with a formal platform as it's a distraction. And, Lord knows what he might say, given his situation. I could see that one going badly in so many ways.
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Post by blb on Oct 13, 2021 14:49:35 GMT -6
Some of this young man's issues may be coming from interactions with his "teammates."
Letting him talk to them as a group may only exacerbate them.
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Post by fkaboneyard on Oct 14, 2021 7:32:05 GMT -6
I think allowing the kid to speak to the team would be a mistake. Next thing you know guys left and right want to address the team. We love them, but kids this age are morons.
I would tell the boy that addressing the team wouldn't be good for anyone involved, including him and that he should talk to his former team members individually if he felt they needed to know something.
Then as a CYA, I'd email the parents, the administration and the school counselors so that there is a paper trail that you didn't just ignore the kid. He's probably seeking attention but he may have a real issue.
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