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Post by s73 on May 8, 2018 13:47:01 GMT -6
I was coaching freshman football for a large school while I was in college; I handled the LBs and the RBs (FBs and TBs). We had over 60 freshmen out and 25 of them were LBs/RBs. We had a B-squad schedule in place but there were twice as many "A-squad" games and we needed to rotate all of these kids in and out of the game. One kid was getting a fair number of snaps per game at TB but his dad felt that we weren't doing enough for his boy and approached me after practice: Daddy:"I need to talk to you about Lil Johnny." Me: "Alright, what can I do for you?" Daddy: "Lil Johnny isn't getting enough playing time and he isn't touching the ball enough. He's the best RB you have." Me: "Well, it's freshmen ball and we're more concerned with getting kids playing time." Daddy: "It's high school football. You should be playing to win not dishing out playing time like some communist country." Me: "That is something that you need to take up with Coach _____ (the HC) as he wants us playing as many kids as possible. I agree with him though; we treat the lower levels as developmental." Daddy: "No, YOU'RE the person I need to be talking to; you're his coach and you're calling the plays. Did you know that he only has 12 carries for 40 yards and 3 catches for 16 yards through the first two games." Me: "Look, I'm done talking about this, we'll need to discuss this further with Coach Mr. HC and Mr. Athletic Director." Daddy:"We paid $15000 for him to attend the Seahawks football camp this last summer!! He deserved more playing time and more touches. This is bullchit!!". Me: "Give the head coach and athletic director a call, I'm not discussing this any further." Daddy: "Well, I'm pushing to have you fired, just so you know". Me: "Alright." Sure as chit, we had a terrible season with the freshmen team (because we didn't coach them very well..), Lil Johnny's Daddy got the rest of the parents worked up and the whole freshmen staff was canned at the end of the season. Rule #1: "WE DO NOT DISCUSS PLAYING TIME". Program wide. Top to bottom. Parents are told this from Day 1 and it is enforced. Any coach who can not follow this simple rule gets fired. Solves many problems. (Also, make sure admin is aware of this and supportive from Day 1 as well). I honestly can say that discussing PT IME has been a positive for me. Now don't get me wrong, I won't discuss other kids w/ a parent but I will discuss there kids PT. The reason I feel this way is I stay on top of off season attendance. So, if a kid doesn't show up to the weight room, I have no problem emailing a parent as a heads up. When that same parent emails me mid season why "little Johnny" isn't playing, I always have records to fall back on. Same w/ performance, I always notate the good & the bad on film, so I have something to point to when parents are unhappy w/ PT. FOR ME, I have always felt that "getting out in front of it" is a good thing. I recognize I'm in the minority but I feel that open communciation along w/ continual communication seems to avoid alot of problems. JME. |
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Post by planck on May 11, 2018 20:41:18 GMT -6
Who boy, I have a good one.
Had a kid show up three weeks into practice. Just, show up. Never seen him before. Clearly something wrong with the kid; he's not all there. Maybe 80 lbs soaking wet, eyes don't point the same way. Nice enough, but...yeah.
Anyway, I figure out who he is and all that chit, get in touch with his parents, get the phyaical paperwork, etc. Kid practices, but I never put him in a game. He can't protect himself. Lines up off side, doesn't get very basic things, etc. Doesn't have any situational awareness. We let him play in intrasquad scrimmages where we can protect him and make sure he doesn't get literally killed.
Well, last game of the year we're in the third quarter and the game isn't going well. Here comes grandpa, who has custody, across the field to chew my ass about putting him in the game. Clearly drunk (it's 4 pm). I put the kid in at safety to get grandpa the hell away from me and get the kid as far from the ball as possible. First play, wr cracks back on him and just obliterates the kid. Total ass-over-tea kettle situation. We get the kid off the field, grandpa comes over to chew my ass out again about pulling the kid out and scream at the kid about toughness or something.
To his credit, our AD rolls up in his golfcart and the school liason officer to handle grandpa. As uncomfortable as that was, I felt bad for the kid. Clearly things were not going his way and the situation was bad, but what the hell do you do?
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Post by 50slantstrong on Jun 21, 2018 22:03:06 GMT -6
This happened today:
We made the mistake of entering a 7-7 tournament. We told the kids this is just another opportunity to get better and if we don’t win it’s not going to make or break our season, let alone our summer. Our goal is just to have minimal mental mistakes and be competitive. If we win we win.
It was double elimination in pool play. Lose two you’re out of the championship bracket. We lost the first game to a really improving nearby program with 17 starters returning. The second game we lost to a program similar to ours. Hung with them but had some bad breaks but they were probably better prepped than us. Oh well. We had some ups and downs but nothing to hang our heads about. Of course one of our half-literate helicopter parents, who has a remarkably loud voice, was telling our QB who to throw to every play, and every time we were on defense all he’d say was “they’re running a pick” or “that’s time! QB is sacked”. I’m pretty sure he said they ran an illegal pick when they threw all verts a couple times. The coach of the host school asked us to have him be more respectful and when I talked to him he complied. Of course somehow someway he ended up parked near me and caught me out by my car and was singing the blues about us being eliminated and how it’s such a waste and there’s no point in coming back for consolation games tomorrow. All over a passing league tournament.
I kind of feel bad for the guy’s kid. He obviously lives vicariously through him. He’s a senior QB who will probably be 3rd string and every time I see him he looks like he’d rather be doing anything else than be involved with football.
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Post by coachcb on Jun 22, 2018 8:50:21 GMT -6
Participation for weight training has been low this summer and it's been irritating me. I've gotten all kinds of excuses from the kids not showing up to lift but they've been to every basketball open gym. The basketball coach has been on them about lifting but I finally pulled a bunch of them together before an open gym a few nights ago and read them the riot act about not getting in the weight room. I finished up by telling them that I would only be offering to open up the weight room twice per week if I had another round of no shows. I get a text from an incoming freshman's mom the next day that reads something like this:
Mommy: "Coach, I just want to let you know that Billy really wants to lift but he's intimidated by the older kids in the weight room. Can you open it up at another time just for the younger kids?"
Me: "Ma'am, I work during the week and the times I have scheduled are the times I can open the gym. Also, Billy will only need to join us for one session to get comfortable. The older boys are very helpful with the younger kids and I can put them on auto-pilot and get Billy up to speed on our lifts."
Mommy: "Well, weekends work best for him. I don't see why you can't open the gym on Saturdays or Sundays. Especially because he's really anxious about lifting around the older kids."
Me (trying to remain calm): "Ma'am, I work fifty hour week and open the weight room for the kids and I take the weekends to myself."
Mommy: "Well, Coach ____ does open gyms on Sunday nights for the kids, why can't you do the same?"
Me (frustrated): "You bring up an excellent point, actually. I see Billy in basketball open gyms, mixing it up on the court with the varsity kids three days per week. If he's confident enough to push them around in the pain, then he's confident enough to lift with them. I won't be opening the weight room on the weekends. Billy can join us for weight training during the week nights or not, it's up to him."
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Post by ebergstedt on Jul 7, 2018 14:46:41 GMT -6
So with the "we do not discuss playing time" thing. I kind of get it. But say parent x is upset Johnny isn't playing. What can he discuss. We've always said we won't discuss other players. So parent says Johnny should be playing he is better than Tommy, we reply we can't talk about Tommy. But Johnny can do this and this and this to get better which might result in more playing time. With kids in meetings we will discuss playing time, in the facet of look, you know who is playing so who do you think you are better than. Okay, now how will you show us you are better than him.
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Post by 19delta on Jul 9, 2018 21:52:55 GMT -6
Rule #1: "WE DO NOT DISCUSS PLAYING TIME". Program wide. Top to bottom. Parents are told this from Day 1 and it is enforced. Any coach who can not follow this simple rule gets fired. Solves many problems. (Also, make sure admin is aware of this and supportive from Day 1 as well). I honestly can say that discussing PT IME has been a positive for me. Now don't get me wrong, I won't discuss other kids w/ a parent but I will discuss there kids PT. The reason I feel this way is I stay on top of off season attendance. So, if a kid doesn't show up to the weight room, I have no problem emailing a parent as a heads up. When that same parent emails me mid season why "little Johnny" isn't playing, I always have records to fall back on. Same w/ performance, I always notate the good & the bad on film, so I have something to point to when parents are unhappy w/ PT. FOR ME, I have always felt that "getting out in front of it" is a good thing. I recognize I'm in the minority but I feel that open communciation along w/ continual communication seems to avoid alot of problems. JME. Agreed. Whenever a parent has contacted me to discuss playing time, I will meet with them. However, I always preface the meeting by saying to the parent, "I will have this conversation with you but you aren't going to want to hear what I have to say." Most parents know why their kid isn't playing a certain position or isn't playing enough. Yes...there are delusional parents out there but the vast majority of parents are simply trying to bully coaches into playing their kid at a certain position or into getting more playing time. I gleefully remember one such conversation I had with a sophomore parent about a week after the season began: Dad: "Coach, I think that my son should be playing running back but you have him playing guard. Can you explain why?"
Me: "Sure. The biggest issue is his speed. He runs around a 5.5 forty-yard-dash. That's pretty slow for a high school running back but pretty fast for a high school offensive guard. The other issue is that he doesn't have very good balance, he isn't very flexible, and he runs high. Currently, we have several kids on the team who are significantly more productive at the running back position. If we gave reps to your son, we would be taking reps away from the kids who will actually be playing the running back position once we start having games."
Dad: "Well, he wants to be a running back. What are you going to do to help him improve those skills?"
Me: "Lifting weights is the most important thing a high school football player can do to improve the physical skills needed to play at a high level. According to my records, your son only attended about 30% of our summer lifting sessions. In fact, when we did end-of-summer testing, your son put up worse numbers compared to what he had done in the spring. If your son wants to be a running back, he is going to need to get significantly stronger and lose quite a bit of bodyfat. He simply does not have the physique or the skills to play running back."
Dad: "Ok. Thanks for your time, Coach. I will talk with my son tonight."The entire conversation took about 3 minutes. I didn't let the dad bully me. I stayed on topic and gave him clear answers that were non-emotional and factual. Because what I said was all true (and Dad knew it was true), the situation was completely diffused, Dad didn't have a leg to stand on and he knew it. So my advice is to WELCOME that conversation. But just make sure the parent knows that you aren't going to blow any smoke up their a$$. Be completely and brutally truthful and transparent when you have those conversation. |
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Post by 19delta on Jul 9, 2018 21:59:16 GMT -6
This happened today: We made the mistake of entering a 7-7 tournament. We told the kids this is just another opportunity to get better and if we don’t win it’s not going to make or break our season, let alone our summer. Our goal is just to have minimal mental mistakes and be competitive. If we win we win. It was double elimination in pool play. Lose two you’re out of the championship bracket. We lost the first game to a really improving nearby program with 17 starters returning. The second game we lost to a program similar to ours. Hung with them but had some bad breaks but they were probably better prepped than us. Oh well. We had some ups and downs but nothing to hang our heads about. Of course one of our half-literate helicopter parents, who has a remarkably loud voice, was telling our QB who to throw to every play, and every time we were on defense all he’d say was “they’re running a pick” or “that’s time! QB is sacked”. I’m pretty sure he said they ran an illegal pick when they threw all verts a couple times. The coach of the host school asked us to have him be more respectful and when I talked to him he complied. Of course somehow someway he ended up parked near me and caught me out by my car and was singing the blues about us being eliminated and how it’s such a waste and there’s no point in coming back for consolation games tomorrow. All over a passing league tournament. I kind of feel bad for the guy’s kid. He obviously lives vicariously through him. He’s a senior QB who will probably be 3rd string and every time I see him he looks like he’d rather be doing anything else than be involved with football. The guy sounds like an a-hole. With that being said, don't go to 7 on 7s where they keep score. Lame.  |
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Post by 19delta on Jul 9, 2018 22:01:39 GMT -6
Participation for weight training has been low this summer and it's been irritating me. I've gotten all kinds of excuses from the kids not showing up to lift but they've been to every basketball open gym. The basketball coach has been on them about lifting but I finally pulled a bunch of them together before an open gym a few nights ago and read them the riot act about not getting in the weight room. I finished up by telling them that I would only be offering to open up the weight room twice per week if I had another round of no shows. I get a text from an incoming freshman's mom the next day that reads something like this: Mommy: "Coach, I just want to let you know that Billy really wants to lift but he's intimidated by the older kids in the weight room. Can you open it up at another time just for the younger kids?" Me: "Ma'am, I work during the week and the times I have scheduled are the times I can open the gym. Also, Billy will only need to join us for one session to get comfortable. The older boys are very helpful with the younger kids and I can put them on auto-pilot and get Billy up to speed on our lifts." Mommy: "Well, weekends work best for him. I don't see why you can't open the gym on Saturdays or Sundays. Especially because he's really anxious about lifting around the older kids." Me (trying to remain calm): "Ma'am, I work fifty hour week and open the weight room for the kids and I take the weekends to myself." Mommy: "Well, Coach ____ does open gyms on Sunday nights for the kids, why can't you do the same?" Me (frustrated): "You bring up an excellent point, actually. I see Billy in basketball open gyms, mixing it up on the court with the varsity kids three days per week. If he's confident enough to push them around in the pain, then he's confident enough to lift with them. I won't be opening the weight room on the weekends. Billy can join us for weight training during the week nights or not, it's up to him." Ugh. I HATE this. So many kids today are complete basket cases. Afraid of their own shadows... |
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Post by larrymoe on Jul 9, 2018 22:35:01 GMT -6
Participation for weight training has been low this summer and it's been irritating me. I've gotten all kinds of excuses from the kids not showing up to lift but they've been to every basketball open gym. The basketball coach has been on them about lifting but I finally pulled a bunch of them together before an open gym a few nights ago and read them the riot act about not getting in the weight room. I finished up by telling them that I would only be offering to open up the weight room twice per week if I had another round of no shows. I get a text from an incoming freshman's mom the next day that reads something like this: Mommy: "Coach, I just want to let you know that Billy really wants to lift but he's intimidated by the older kids in the weight room. Can you open it up at another time just for the younger kids?" Me: "Ma'am, I work during the week and the times I have scheduled are the times I can open the gym. Also, Billy will only need to join us for one session to get comfortable. The older boys are very helpful with the younger kids and I can put them on auto-pilot and get Billy up to speed on our lifts." Mommy: "Well, weekends work best for him. I don't see why you can't open the gym on Saturdays or Sundays. Especially because he's really anxious about lifting around the older kids." Me (trying to remain calm): "Ma'am, I work fifty hour week and open the weight room for the kids and I take the weekends to myself." Mommy: "Well, Coach ____ does open gyms on Sunday nights for the kids, why can't you do the same?" Me (frustrated): "You bring up an excellent point, actually. I see Billy in basketball open gyms, mixing it up on the court with the varsity kids three days per week. If he's confident enough to push them around in the pain, then he's confident enough to lift with them. I won't be opening the weight room on the weekends. Billy can join us for weight training during the week nights or not, it's up to him." Ugh. I HATE this. So many kids today are complete basket cases. Afraid of their own shadows... Because at no point in many of their lives have their parents took them out of the bubble wrap and let them live their own lives. Failure included. Parents seem to think they're doing their kid a favor by doing the heavy lifting, but we're just raising a generation that can't cope with life in general. |
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Post by 19delta on Jul 10, 2018 4:36:21 GMT -6
Ugh. I HATE this. So many kids today are complete basket cases. Afraid of their own shadows... Because at no point in many of their lives have their parents took them out of the bubble wrap and let them live their own lives. Failure included. Parents seem to think they're doing their kid a favor by doing the heavy lifting, but we're just raising a generation that can't cope with life in general. Right. I see this reflected in IEPs and 504s. When I first started teaching (2000), SpEd services and 504 plans were reserved for truly legit cases...kids had dyslexia or some other documented and diagnosed condition that limited their ability to learn like "normal" kids. A disturbing trend I have noticed, maybe within the last 10 years, is that IEPs and 504s are increasingly being written for socio-psychological reasons, the big one being some vague definition of "anxiety". For a lot of parents, getting their kid an IEP or 504 plan has become some bizarro world badge of honor. These parents probably think they are doing right by their kids when in fact what they are doing is crippling these kids socially and emotionally. |
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Post by larrymoe on Jul 10, 2018 7:28:40 GMT -6
Because at no point in many of their lives have their parents took them out of the bubble wrap and let them live their own lives. Failure included. Parents seem to think they're doing their kid a favor by doing the heavy lifting, but we're just raising a generation that can't cope with life in general. Right. I see this reflected in IEPs and 504s. When I first started teaching (2000), SpEd services and 504 plans were reserved for truly legit cases...kids had dyslexia or some other documented and diagnosed condition that limited their ability to learn like "normal" kids. A disturbing trend I have noticed, maybe within the last 10 years, is that IEPs and 504s are increasingly being written for socio-psychological reasons, the big one being some vague definition of "anxiety". For a lot of parents, getting their kid an IEP or 504 plan has become some bizarro world badge of honor. These parents probably think they are doing right by their kids when in fact what they are doing is crippling these kids socially and emotionally. I might be wrong, but my wife had told me that when she worked as a special ed aide, that if your kid can get an IEP/504, you can draw a check from the government to assist with raising your child with their "disability". |
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Post by 19delta on Jul 10, 2018 9:34:00 GMT -6
Right. I see this reflected in IEPs and 504s. When I first started teaching (2000), SpEd services and 504 plans were reserved for truly legit cases...kids had dyslexia or some other documented and diagnosed condition that limited their ability to learn like "normal" kids. A disturbing trend I have noticed, maybe within the last 10 years, is that IEPs and 504s are increasingly being written for socio-psychological reasons, the big one being some vague definition of "anxiety". For a lot of parents, getting their kid an IEP or 504 plan has become some bizarro world badge of honor. These parents probably think they are doing right by their kids when in fact what they are doing is crippling these kids socially and emotionally. I might be wrong, but my wife had told me that when she worked as a special ed aide, that if your kid can get an IEP/504, you can draw a check from the government to assist with raising your child with their "disability". That may or may not be true. Even if it is, I don't think that is the primary motivation most of these parents have. My take on it is that parents so badly want their kids to be unique and exceptional that when the kids aren't, the parents desperately have to find a "reason" for that. |
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Post by hsrose on Jul 10, 2018 11:22:15 GMT -6
The counselor lady In the next office says that for the first time, with the known issues in the incoming class, that the school will be at 28% of the students with and IEP. That will get state monitoring is the school. And the suicide rate in the count was the highest in the nation 3 years ago. They have a death here about every 9 months or so the past 4 years I’ve been here. Not just the students but the young people just out of school, within a couple of years.
One mom / “advocate” (apparently a legal term) is coming into the school here with a list of 58 items that have to be met for the student.
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mikeyg
Sophomore Member
Posts: 154 
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Post by mikeyg on Jul 13, 2018 10:10:22 GMT -6
Right. I see this reflected in IEPs and 504s. When I first started teaching (2000), SpEd services and 504 plans were reserved for truly legit cases...kids had dyslexia or some other documented and diagnosed condition that limited their ability to learn like "normal" kids. A disturbing trend I have noticed, maybe within the last 10 years, is that IEPs and 504s are increasingly being written for socio-psychological reasons, the big one being some vague definition of "anxiety". For a lot of parents, getting their kid an IEP or 504 plan has become some bizarro world badge of honor. These parents probably think they are doing right by their kids when in fact what they are doing is crippling these kids socially and emotionally. I might be wrong, but my wife had told me that when she worked as a special ed aide, that if your kid can get an IEP/504, you can draw a check from the government to assist with raising your child with their "disability". I'm pretty sure that this is true in OK because I know of 1 woman who was relentless in getting all 3 of her kids tested for getting a IEP as soon as they could and this family lives off of welfare. Neither of the parents work due to "disabilities". All of these kids were "fine" in my opinion except maybe just needing some socialization skills. But that could be from where they were fed so much crap and had so much smoke blown up their butts from their mom and dad. Heck one of them was selected as an alternate WR for the 8 man All State game and another one was selected All District safety for 2 years in a row. |
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Post by 50slantstrong on Jul 13, 2018 19:40:51 GMT -6
I know in California you can get paid by the state to “assist” you in raising a kid with a disability.
Our DC is a SPED teacher and always has good stories of parents who don’t have jobs but show up to IEP meetings in Jordan’s and designer watches.
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Post by larrymoe on Jul 13, 2018 21:31:34 GMT -6
I know in California you can get paid by the state to “assist” you in raising a kid with a disability. Our DC is a SPED teacher and always has good stories of parents who don’t have jobs but show up to IEP meetings in Jordan’s and designer watches. Work harder. Millions on welfare are depending on you. |
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Post by 50slantstrong on Jul 23, 2018 17:30:24 GMT -6
Parents that have gone on multiple vacations this summer and taken their kid that can’t donate $25 for snacks and Gatorade for camp week.
SMH
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