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Post by dubber on Sept 21, 2007 21:41:39 GMT -6
So, how do you guys handle a parent coming up to you after the game and saying you are a horrible coach? This happened tonight (after a varsity win)-------parent upset about the JV's record, and tells me I'm awful and won't be back next season (like he's my boss? ) I said, "okay" found my fiancee and walked away before he could say another word. I'm going to coach college ball next season (won't be dealing with this then-AMEN!!!), so I really don't care about building relationships right now with these ignorant parents. help me out, cause while I don't care about appeasing these parents, I would like to find a way to get them off my back. I thought about holding my head and screaming at the ground, telling the ground that it was growing the grass all wrong (all this while they are talking to me) I figure then they'll think I am too crazy to talk to after a game----or ever
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Post by defcoach on Sept 22, 2007 11:14:15 GMT -6
Tell them if they know so much, to go to college...get a degree...find a job...then they can coach any @$#% way they want. Also, tell them the school could have hired thousands of coaches for your position....but they hired you, and as long as you have a job, you are going to coach your way...and are not going to change just because of 1 or 2 parents...
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Post by coachmoore42 on Sept 22, 2007 17:29:46 GMT -6
and are not going to change just because of 1 or 2 parents... If I said that, most of the parents I deal with (that would say something like that) would then go and recruit some more parents who feel the same way to prove me wrong, even if it was still only 3 or 4 parents.
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Post by coachd5085 on Sept 23, 2007 12:54:10 GMT -6
dubber...just a question...you already have your job locked up next fall? Just don't burn bridges...that never seems to work
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Post by timtheenchanter on Sept 23, 2007 13:40:15 GMT -6
As an official, we deal with this on a regular basis. Silence can never be misquoted. You never know where people will turn up in your life. It is far better to be remembered as a bad coach than a bad person.
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Post by fbdoc on Sept 23, 2007 15:46:58 GMT -6
Dubber - I've been doing this a long time and I can tell you, you're going to find jerks where ever you go. They will never ever coach, but they feel entitled to question what we all do as our profession. Don't let it get to you - feel sorry for them that they can never experience the same highs you will feel coaching their kids. Hang in there. And where are you going to coach next fall? Might be an intersting entry on the jobs board as to how you will be moving from hs to college.
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Post by tigercoach on Sept 23, 2007 18:49:44 GMT -6
So, how do you guys handle a parent coming up to you after the game and saying you are a horrible coach? This happened tonight (after a varsity win)-------parent upset about the JV's record, and tells me I'm awful and won't be back next season (like he's my boss? ) te] I know it is easier said than done but my thoughts to those parents are "Mind over Matter"... I don't mind because you don't MATTER! One of our coaches is known for stating his thoughts on this subject: "Out if the mouths of IGNORANCE" Hang tough, don't burn bridges and coach up!
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Post by touchdowng on Sept 23, 2007 19:24:01 GMT -6
I agree with Timtheenchanter
Can't get in trouble for what you think, but as a coach, that wouldn't hold true for what you might want to say to an ignorant parent. Not that they don't deserve a good comeback, it's just that you took the spotlight off of them (with their bad behavior) and placed it on yourself. Stay on the high road.
Don't stoop to their level, no matter if you will or will not be moving on.
Thanks them for their opinion and politely excuse yourself.
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Post by phantom on Sept 23, 2007 19:42:52 GMT -6
So, how do you guys handle a parent coming up to you after the game and saying you are a horrible coach? This happened tonight (after a varsity win)-------parent upset about the JV's record, and tells me I'm awful and won't be back next season (like he's my boss? ) I said, "okay" found my fiancee and walked away before he could say another word. I'm going to coach college ball next season (won't be dealing with this then-AMEN!!!), so I really don't care about building relationships right now with these ignorant parents. help me out, cause while I don't care about appeasing these parents, I would like to find a way to get them off my back. I thought about holding my head and screaming at the ground, telling the ground that it was growing the grass all wrong (all this while they are talking to me) I figure then they'll think I am too crazy to talk to after a game----or ever Dubs, if you have a college job locked up for next year and you know that you're gone next year then relax. I'm in a similar situation in that I'm retiring from teaching after this year. I walk around the building smiling because whatever imbecilic hoop that the admins throw out there for me to jump through or ignore, it's the last time I'll have to do it (if I do it). What do you care what that nimrod thinks? Next time it happens, nod and say earnestly, "Sorry that you feel that way but you're entitled to your opinion. Thank you for caring so much about our program." and keep walking. How long will you have to deal with the guy? Three more months. Eff him. Not worth worrying about.
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Post by dubber on Sept 23, 2007 20:05:59 GMT -6
Thanks guys....
Answers to a couple of inquiries:
*The job is a lock (GA job-----I really want college ball to be my profession)
*I won't be burning bridges (admin, HC, most parents; I have a great relationships with all)-----this is the school I graduated from
I plan on taking the high road, it upsets me, but I'm toughening my skin and trying not to talk to em'.
I coach, they don't, I love it.
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Post by phantom on Sept 23, 2007 20:14:48 GMT -6
Thanks guys.... Answers to a couple of inquiries: *The job is a lock (GA job-----I really want college ball to be my profession) *I won't be burning bridges (admin, HC, most parents; I have a great relationships with all)-----this is the school I graduated from I plan on taking the high road, it upsets me, but I'm toughening my skin and trying not to talk to em'. I coach, they don't, I love it. There you go, then.
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Post by Coach Huey on Sept 23, 2007 21:57:58 GMT -6
invite the parent to your office the next afternoon to discuss the issues. explain that you will pull out the game film and have the call sheet available so that the 2 of you can discuss said game (or games) and that their input is welcomed. you would like the opportunity to explain several plays in detail to them so that all have an idea of the "why" the play was called and what went right / wrong. likewise, you appreciate any help or tips they pick up from the film and evaluation of the plays and players. be very cordial and sincere in this request.
see how many take you up on it ....
(and, yes, I have done this --- 1 parent did show up and when he began to notice a glaring mistake by HIS son on several key plays, end of story --- and, i didn't have to really point it out to him other than saying , "ok, this play was called and it should have been a run to the right since they only have 3 defenders over there and we have 4 blockers... however, our back appears to go the wrong way from the start and this hindered the design of the play and negated what should have been a good call. " his son was the back, and i set him up by pointing out that their were only 3 defenders to that side prior to running the film and asked him if he thought we should run right or left or what he thought? ... he says, well, looks like you got 'em outnumbered over there. i, of course, agreed. then, played the film and the rest of the year was pretty much back to "normal" for me ...
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Post by gacoach on Sept 24, 2007 8:55:53 GMT -6
I say nothing to them. This way they don't know if I heard them and they know that I don't care what they think, or I didn't hear them and they never approach me again about it.
I had a parent say something to me on Thursday after our JV game. We were losing 34-6 and had the ball at our opponents 12 yard line with 20 seconds to go. Ran a play that we fumbled, recoverd and had about 12 seconds left. In the course of the play, the kid that fumbled, got it back and fell on the ball, and now has a broken rib. He was bent over on the field and I thought the official was going to stop the clock, he didn't so I let the clock run out. By the way, the kid that got hurt was a wingback, and we have 2 so I'd have been without a wingback.
A parent came up to me after the game and started yelling at me about "being competitive, and why I didn't use a timeout to at least try and score again". Maybe he thought that I had a 28 point play or something. Anyway, I just looked at him, didn't say a word and walked away. From what I have been told some of the other parents were displease I didn't call a timeout and run 1 more play.
Anyway, I don't have to justify anything to a parent.
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Post by ajreaper on Sept 24, 2007 10:41:24 GMT -6
You know it's amazing that so many "fans" forget there is another team out there trying to stop you from doing what you'd like and another coaching staff working at it as well.
I get parents whining about us not throwing the ball enough- the simple truth, we don't do it very well, our reciever corp drops far to many passes and our QB's miss to many open recievers. On top of that our senior QB has been out the past three weeks and our sophmore QB is ....... well a sophmore.
However we do have an all-state tailback a #2 and #3 who run hard, 3 good size hard running hard blocking H-backs and several pretty good guys up front who can move the pile. But we need to "open it up more". LOL, I'd love to but when you are averaging almost 5 yds a rush why throw an incomplete pass or get sacked?
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juice10
Sophomore Member
Posts: 200
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Post by juice10 on Sept 24, 2007 14:04:52 GMT -6
These are all great posts and thanks for all who continue to add. Quick question for some of you who might have been in similar situations or just want to offer some advice.
Scenario: I have about 6 sets of parents who do nothing but sit at a game and yell, complain, scream, and belittle our team and especially coaches. I am still very green in head coaching experience, but wondering if any other teams are or have experienced this. What if anything did you do?
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Post by coachd5085 on Sept 24, 2007 14:10:30 GMT -6
Make sure they are paying at the gate 1st:)
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Post by bulldogoption on Sept 24, 2007 20:20:58 GMT -6
Talk to your AD and principal. Just because a parent pays to attend a game, doesn't give them right to yell things to make themselves look better. And that is ALL it is ever about, making themselves look better in front of the other fans. The AD and principal may boot their A$$ right out of the game.
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