Post by cmow5 on Jan 17, 2008 13:03:57 GMT -6
I found this article and I thought you guys will get a kick out of it.
No Child Left Behind -- Football Version
>1. ALl teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST
>win the championship. If a team does not win the
>championship, they will be on probation until they are
>the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
>If, after two years, they have not won the
>championship, their footballs and equipment will be
>taken away until they do win the championship.
>
>2. All kids will be expected to have the same football
>skills at the same time even if they do not have the
>same conditions or opportunities to practice on their
>own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest
>in foot ball, lack of desire to perform athletically,
>or genetic abilities or disabilities from themselves
>or their parents.
>
>ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!
>
>3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their
>own, without instruction. This is because the coaches
>will be using all their instructional time for the
>athletes who aren’t interested in football, have
>limited athletic ability, or whose parents don’t like
>football.
>
>4. Games will be played year round, but statistics
>will only be kept in the 3rd, 8th, and 11th games. It
>will create a New Age of Sports where every school is
>expected to have the same level of talent and all
>teams will reach the same minimum goals, If no child
>gets ahead, then no child gets left behind. If parents
>do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote
for vouchers and support private schools that can
>screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to
>go to school with bad football players.
No Child Left Behind -- Football Version
>1. ALl teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST
>win the championship. If a team does not win the
>championship, they will be on probation until they are
>the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
>If, after two years, they have not won the
>championship, their footballs and equipment will be
>taken away until they do win the championship.
>
>2. All kids will be expected to have the same football
>skills at the same time even if they do not have the
>same conditions or opportunities to practice on their
>own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest
>in foot ball, lack of desire to perform athletically,
>or genetic abilities or disabilities from themselves
>or their parents.
>
>ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!
>
>3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their
>own, without instruction. This is because the coaches
>will be using all their instructional time for the
>athletes who aren’t interested in football, have
>limited athletic ability, or whose parents don’t like
>football.
>
>4. Games will be played year round, but statistics
>will only be kept in the 3rd, 8th, and 11th games. It
>will create a New Age of Sports where every school is
>expected to have the same level of talent and all
>teams will reach the same minimum goals, If no child
>gets ahead, then no child gets left behind. If parents
>do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote
for vouchers and support private schools that can
>screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to
>go to school with bad football players.
