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Post by raider7342 on Oct 24, 2007 13:19:06 GMT -6
what finally got you to make the decision to leave a school or give up football altogether? i have been head coach 5 years and am considering it now. lots, and lots of reasons but want some advice. not a goo season for us we are 2-7 and prospects not good for next year. want to make sure my feelings aren't just based on depression from bad year. any advice appreciated.
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Post by superpower on Oct 24, 2007 13:44:35 GMT -6
If you can be happy without coaching, don't coach.
Having said that, sometimes a change of scenery can be very refreshing. If you still enjoy coaching and have something of value to pass along to young men, KEEP COACHING, but maybe some place else.
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Post by carookie on Oct 24, 2007 13:53:44 GMT -6
As far as quitting coaching all together, just picture if its something you can do without. Although I know I don't have as much experience as most on this board I've spent time away from the game and it ate me up inside. Personally I know I couldn't be without it, kinda like an addiction, I think if you are still passionate about the game itself don't be so quick to throw away the profession.
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Post by coachd5085 on Oct 24, 2007 14:06:57 GMT -6
I have tried to get away 4 different times...DAMN it..it keeps pulling me back in. LOL.
I agree about the change of venue. Maybe relinquish the HC duties, I know a great deal of coaches who always dreamed about becoming a head coach..and when they got there, they realized they spent very little time doing what they actually enjoyed, and a great deal of time making sure everyone else got to do what they enjoyed.
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Post by brophy on Oct 24, 2007 14:07:50 GMT -6
that about sums it up.
I think I am there now, because I could live without the non-stop drama that clouds the game. Relationships are what this game is REALLY about (IMO) and if creating, sustaining, maintaining, and improving them has become too much trouble, then, yeah, just give it a rest.
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Post by eickst on Oct 24, 2007 15:28:29 GMT -6
I know as a head coach I would love to have a coordinator on either offense or defense that I could count on to do his part of the scheme and not have to worry about it. I would want to be involved, of course, but I would kill for assistants with that kind of ability.
Maybe find a HC in your area that you respect and would coach for and lay it out for him.
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Post by coachd5085 on Oct 24, 2007 16:50:35 GMT -6
eickst---what size school are you coaching at? At the last school I helped with, both the HC/OC and the DC had other coaches much more capable at doing their coordinator jobs than they were.
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Post by eickst on Oct 24, 2007 17:21:40 GMT -6
I coach youth football ....................... My coordinators are dads with free time
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Post by coachd5085 on Oct 24, 2007 17:27:15 GMT -6
eickst---AHHHh..yes... I see. Thats tough too, because as the kids get older, your assts keep leaving you.
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Post by coachcalande on Oct 24, 2007 17:41:35 GMT -6
never give up, never quit. stick it out and focus only on what you can control. focus on performance and improving how you use your time. It kills me to see posts like this knowing how bad Id love to be in your shoes.
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wccoach
Sophomore Member
Posts: 159
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Post by wccoach on Oct 24, 2007 17:48:52 GMT -6
I have coached for over twenty years. I cannot live without coaching the game. I have coached at a state champion and I have coached for a team that did not win a game. No matter how tough the season or how difficult the situation I never thought I could leave the game. I have had parents threaten me and I have had parents hug me and thank me for helping thier son to be a better person and player. I do not teach school nor have I ever been a teacher. I am in private business and I have never missed a season. I have turned down great career opportunities because I had to coach football and the job schedule would not allow for it. I have no desire to be a school teacher but I will always coach somewhere. If you can live without being on that field and truly be happy then you should get out. The emotional conflict of being a coach is not for everybody and I have seen it really tear up some very good men. But, try to imagine driving by a stadium on a Friday night and seeing the lights and all the people there and not having a part in what is going on there. If you can imagine doing that and not just want to cry then you might be able to give up the drug of football. I know I could not ever give it up. Sometimes you need to move to the next team, but you still need to coach. Nothing wrong with that because if you coach for any period of time you will probably not finish your career at the same place you started. Think about it for some time before you try to enter football "rehab". Just another idiot's opinion
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Post by phantom on Oct 24, 2007 17:56:08 GMT -6
what finally got you to make the decision to leave a school or give up football altogether? i have been head coach 5 years and am considering it now. lots, and lots of reasons but want some advice. not a goo season for us we are 2-7 and prospects not good for next year. want to make sure my feelings aren't just based on depression from bad year. any advice appreciated. Never make a decision this early. You're tired and depressed and the fatigue accentuates the depression. Wait until after Christmas break. On the other hand, don't screw over your team by quitting in May.
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Post by coachd5085 on Oct 24, 2007 18:38:57 GMT -6
never give up, never quit. stick it out and focus only on what you can control. focus on performance and improving how you use your time. It kills me to see posts like this knowing how bad Id love to be in your shoes. Got to call you out on this one...you don't know what his shoes are.... and no offense, this is your first ever Varsity Season. So mentally, you are fresh and full of spirit.
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Post by coachcalande on Oct 25, 2007 6:00:30 GMT -6
Doesnt change the fact that there are probably a hundred thousand guys out there who would love that job.
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Post by wingt74 on Oct 25, 2007 6:22:47 GMT -6
I'm in a similar boat...except this season has added one HUGE variable. I know have a little boy at home. These last three months have been very hard on my wife and I. I think I am done coaching now until my son gets a little older and is less of a hand full.
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wccoach
Sophomore Member
Posts: 159
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Post by wccoach on Oct 25, 2007 6:44:57 GMT -6
I really respect that wingt74 and your decision will go a long way in your relationship with your wife. I did not make that decision when my kids where young (they are out of high school now) and it caused some problems with my wife. She is a coach's wife and knows what is involved but still was pretty tough to deal with when the first child came along. I probably should have taken a year break with both of the kids after their birth, but I was way to selfish to give up my "beloved" (her word) football. But I have been married for over 25 years to the same woman and she is the only one that has always been there after each game for all those years, so I guess it wasn't so bad. Somehow I seem to be able to rationalize anything in order to coach this game. I might not be a very good husband, but I am definitely not a good enough coach yet, so I better keep working at it. See how that works! I am an idiot. Good luck Wingt74
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mike13
Sophomore Member
Posts: 108
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Post by mike13 on Oct 25, 2007 6:58:58 GMT -6
Coachcalande I have to disagree. There are some jobs no coach wants. I took two of those jobs. My first HC job was by default. Four people applied. Two backed out, one was not qualified, so that left me. Stayed for 6 years. When the parents ran my family out of the stands and made my daughter cry I resigned. The next job was a new program. No one would take the job other than a parent. He ran the program for two years and nerly killed it. I took over after his demise. Lets be honest, when you interview they want to know your record. Sometimes that is all that matters to the "powers that be".
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Post by coachcalande on Oct 25, 2007 7:27:45 GMT -6
Coachcalande I have to disagree. There are some jobs no coach wants. I took two of those jobs. My first HC job was by default. Four people applied. Two backed out, one was not qualified, so that left me. Stayed for 6 years. When the parents ran my family out of the stands and made my daughter cry I resigned. The next job was a new program. No one would take the job other than a parent. He ran the program for two years and nerly killed it. I took over after his demise. Lets be honest, when you interview they want to know your record. Sometimes that is all that matters to the "powers that be". I read a story like that in the paper...hope that wasnt you and your family. IN any case, well, Im not sure there are too many HC jobs that come up where nobody applies. IN any case, maybe I was wrong perhaps if the coach has lost the fire he should step aside and make room for the next victim? I dunno, IM saying NEVER QUIT because I think it sends the wrong message to the kids. anyone can coach a bunch of superstars.
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Post by lsrood on Oct 25, 2007 7:33:44 GMT -6
To echo others, make sure the decision isn't just based on your emotions. Take a step back and take the time to list all the pros & cons of coaching vs. non-coaching. Go over the list and decide what is best for you and your family. A change of venue can help as can taking a year off to recharge your batteries. I've taken a sabbatical from coaching twice in my career, once for a single year and once for 3 years, both times my choice. What I found out was that about 2 years into the 3 year absence I really missed the game and got back into it. I don't regret that decision at all and have found that I missed not coaching more than I realized. If you decide to get out, you can always attend local games to keep up with what is going on and enjoy watching football as a casual observer (I was lucky enough to land a radio color job which helped my football fix to an extent). Keep your contacts with fellow coaches so you can jump back in if you want. Whatever you decide, take the time to make a rationale decision, either way you'll be better off than letting emotions cloud the decision.
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Post by coachvann on Oct 25, 2007 11:12:49 GMT -6
DCOhio-our wives must be sisters!!
I took a year off when my son was born back in 2004, she says I drove her up the wall bc we still would go to the FB games and she hated sitting next to me. She loves watching FB so she would still want to go...she "forced me back into the game". She is the perfect coaches wife. She misses me at Game 8 and gets tired of me in April--right before spring ball!
Taking that year off was good for me and my family. It helped me realize how important this job is. It also made me realize that I needed to balance family and football; sometimes taking the year off is good...but do not make that decision until later on-a bad season wears on you...I am in the middle of one now!
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Post by eickst on Oct 25, 2007 14:06:09 GMT -6
I haven't thought about quitting, only going to another program. The president we have of our youth chapter is stepping down and we don't know who the next president will be until after elections.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2007 14:54:53 GMT -6
Don't ask a girl to marry you based on how she looks under a strobe light and don't get divorced because she gets a bad hairstyle.
In other words, it's always easy to look at getting out after a bad season and after a good one you can't imagine leaving.
Think ahead.
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Post by schultbear74 on Oct 25, 2007 15:13:09 GMT -6
I have tried to give up coaching before and it didn't work for very long. I enjoy coaching, but I can live without it. When it isn't fun anymore I won't do it. I resigned once because a HC was an immature, insecure young man who was scared of anyone who knew more than he did. I coached some 7th and 8th graders the next year, had a losing season and loved it. 29th year of coaching, when my youngest son is done- I'll think about what I want to do.
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Post by coachcb on Oct 25, 2007 15:17:31 GMT -6
When I left the last program I was at, our record had very little(if anything) to do with it.
It had everything to do with parents and the administration impeding me from doing my job as a football coach. If you don't have some level of support from the community or the administration, then I'd leave. I say this because these are two huge factors in building and maintaining a quality football program. Without these you're paddling against a very strong current.
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Post by threeback on Oct 25, 2007 15:28:25 GMT -6
raider, Don't ever give up something you love without first weighing the pros and cons. Like so many wives mentioned by you guys, my wife goes through "husband withdrawl" during the season, but after the season, I more than make up for the time spent away. I have two young boys, and though I have spent alot of time away from them during the season, I always make it a point to have them at the games in the stands, where our wives have a "family section". After the game, I always get the boys down where they can get some "playing time" on the field. We also have great kids, and my sons get attached big time to them every year. So even though I'm away during the season, I still get to spend time with the family. To tell you the truth, IF I was home all the time, my wife would kill me. I've had numerous job opportunities come my way that would have doubled my salary, but this game keeps pulling me back. If you truly loveit, things will work out.
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Post by schultbear74 on Oct 25, 2007 15:35:31 GMT -6
I agree with coachcb. A situation where coaches have no support from upstairs is a recipe for bad feelings.
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Post by burtledog on Oct 25, 2007 16:27:34 GMT -6
Single mothers raise children all the time
Brother you must be short sighted. Wars are fought all the time, but if a better option is available I think we should probably use it. If WingT74 can give his child and wife a few years, good for them. The most important child you teach and coach is your own. Greg the Amature
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Post by coachcoyote on Oct 25, 2007 23:02:27 GMT -6
I'd agree with some of the posts concerning letting your emotions rule at the moment. get away for a bit after the season and do something not related to football. Just veg, read, catch up on the honey do's, reintroduce yourself to the family, etc. Time away can change your outlook immensely. Rely on your assistants for a while. We all need a break sometime. If you still feel like this, maybe it's time to take a hiatus and see how it goes. Changing jobs might not be an option. Many times, the grass is greener until you get there and find the brown spots have only been painted over. Good luck in your decision.
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Post by coachveer on Oct 26, 2007 5:41:40 GMT -6
Just makes sure you give yourself plenty of time to make the right choice.
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Post by raider7342 on Oct 26, 2007 12:10:21 GMT -6
Thanks for the replies so far. i guess another area bothering me is if i am making enough of a difference. i know its really almost impossible to know how you are impacting players but i just don't seem to be able to get this team motivated like i have other groups. anyone else experience this. i wonder if my inability to motivate them means i am a) losing my touch overall, b) losing my influence here at this school, or c) maybe this group is just not a group that can be motivated and doesn't really have as much of the desire to win as some of the others i have coached. anyone else have groups like that, or am i way off base. thanks for listening and replying. with the season we have had its nice to get some of the questions out to people who understand and can give some objective insight. thanks,
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