I am doing a paper for college and need help.

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Not sure what you are looking for but. . . .

Coaches must paint a very BROAD line between the coaches and the players. By making this separation, there is a very clear distinction between those leading and those who are either following or are being taught to lead. A head coach must be very transparent about this separation to be effective.

There is a thread on this message board regarding if coaches can also be friends to their players. Thankfully, there is a resounding NO from those who replied. We can be friendly (and should be) but being friends, or having a fine line only invites the wrong kind of relationship between a coach and a player.

Some young or inexperienced coaches make the mistake of getting too buddy buddy with their guys and they pay dearly for it. They do not command respect and cannot make an authentic attempt at getting the players to dig deep. It just won't happen.

From my experience, we coaches need to continually motivate our players to do things (off-season work, sacrifice, go the extra mile in the classroom, apologize for being butts) that they may not want to.

A coach must raise the anxiety level in the player (to a healthy degree) to get them to do some of the things they may not otherwise want to. If coaches allow players to be to comfortable around them, they will no longer follow that coaches lead. Some will but it won't be a genuine "call to duty."

However, there has to be civility in the relationship and Coaches must be able to show a soft side when tough times come but this should not diminish the BROAD line that separates coaches from their players. We are not on a higher plane but we are different and that cannot be ignored. When a player has a tough experience (divorce or death in the family), a coaches office should be a safe place to land but should also be the place where that player is given the "I believe you will rise above all of this and will come out stronger because of this" talk. We can't always provide answers but we can let our players know that we believe in them and we are behind them. If things get really tough, we are here for them to receive adult help.

Coaching is very awesome but there must be a healthy distancing between coaches and players. There is a genuine closeness but there must be a healthy balance of authority and counselor mixed in with this. It could be one of the more complex relationships you will find because it is also very temporary.

When the relationship is over it could turn into a friendship after the player reaches adulthood. But not before then.