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Post by Coach Klemme on Aug 26, 2007 20:04:00 GMT -6
We had our first scrimidge on Sat. and my 1's and 2's played pretty well which is better than I thought they would do. Anywho, at several times through the scrimidge I had 2 different fathers come up to me and ask what there sons are doing wrong because they were not out there more then others. One play with the 3's in was a big gain for the opponents offense and you could hear him on the sideline putting down others. I commented twards the team on what one could do to prevent that and that is how they learn, by making mistakes. The father then said that if the ones are in they don't make mistakes and you win. His son made several mistakes that day but the father puts blame on other kids or us coaches. His younger son even chirped at me. Both fathers were acting like this was inner city youth football and were talking smack to the other players if they came around. It was a real headache. ONe kid is very fast (anchor of 4x100 varsity as 8th grader) but has trouble w/ the whole left and right concept. The other one is smaller and has average skills. I have discussed this with the 2 other coaches and then we talked with the Head Varstiy coaches as well to give them a heads up. I don't want this to be a worry on me all season. One father is prone to play the race card as well which makes it a bit more touchy. What does a coach need to do, because I want to put all my efforts into the kids so we can be successful. If I have to babysit and be on the phone wiht the AD at everygame it could easily be a nightmare this season.
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Post by wingman on Aug 26, 2007 20:52:49 GMT -6
I wouldn't allow anyone to talk to me during practice. I don't care who his kid is. If it isn't stopped, you are in for a lot worse.
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Post by wingman on Aug 26, 2007 20:54:27 GMT -6
Plus, the race card is a joke in football. Let's be realistic. If a black kid comes to me, I bend over beackwards hoping he's a player because more good players are black. He gets a better look than anyone. With any other kid, it's show me what you have but i have no expectations.
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Post by ajreaper on Aug 26, 2007 20:58:06 GMT -6
Why are they on your sideline for Gawd sakes? Get them in the stands and tell them to stay there period.
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Post by CVBears on Aug 26, 2007 22:42:23 GMT -6
I was at a frosh game last year checking things out and there was a dad cut from the same cloth as you describe. In fact, I think they must be related.
Administrators are always at the games. They got word of what the father was doing, spoke to him and basically told him that if he would like to continue to watch games, he has to keep his mouth shut or he would be escorted off of campus by the police. They mentioned the fact he needed to be a role model, etc., but at the end of the day, he wanted to be there and shut up for the rest of the game. Apparently the next game on the schedule, he was up to his old tricks and got to wear the shining connected bracelets on the way out.
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Post by coachcalande on Aug 27, 2007 6:25:17 GMT -6
This should be nipped in the bud in preseason letters, player and parent contracts, parent meetings.
some guidelines
1) you dont discuss playing time or xs and os with parents
2) you dont discuss players who are not the sons of the adult you are talking to
3) you dont discuss anything with a parent during team time, practice or game. they can make an appointment to meet with you when its not team time.
4) put on your thick skin
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Post by wingtol on Aug 27, 2007 8:32:14 GMT -6
We had a good policy for discussing playing time, if you want to talk about it then you need to bring your son with you so the parents, player, HC, position coach, and if its a lower level then the Varsity HC as well. It's amazing how many parents tone changes to oh well then don't tell billy i talked to you he would be embarased.....when u tell them u will talk about it in a mtg with their son and coaches present.
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Post by coachcb on Aug 27, 2007 8:53:30 GMT -6
1. Get the parents the heck off of the sideline; they have no place down there.
2. Get your administrator involved; if they are trashing other kids openly, they should be removed from the game.
3. DON'T TALK TO THEM DURING A GAME! If the kid has a problem, the kid needs to see you, not daddy.
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mrigg
Junior Member
Posts: 457
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Post by mrigg on Aug 27, 2007 8:57:01 GMT -6
all of the above is solid advice but I would like to add: If you have a meeting with a parent have it in you coaches office with you HC and other coaches there with you.
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Post by knight9299 on Aug 27, 2007 9:06:55 GMT -6
We had a good policy for discussing playing time, if you want to talk about it then you need to bring your son with you so the parents, player, HC, position coach, and if its a lower level then the Varsity HC as well. It's amazing how many parents tone changes to oh well then don't tell billy i talked to you he would be embarased.....when u tell them u will talk about it in a mtg with their son and coaches present. Our policy is similar- but before a meeting could take place, Billy had to talk to his position coach about his lack of playing time. Until that happened no meeting occurred. Unless of course your AD goes behind your back.  |
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Post by Coach Klemme on Aug 27, 2007 13:57:04 GMT -6
All this is great stuff. The reason the dad was close to the sideline is because there were 4 scrimidges going on over our practice fields. we don't have stands for the freshmen/jv field, just a hill. We'll see how things go this week at our first home game. Thanks coaches.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2007 14:24:25 GMT -6
I worked for a head coach once who made this statement at the first meeting of the year, the night before 2 a days started.
He said, "If you'd like to talk about your sons playing time, or lack of playing time, then I'll welcome all comments and questions tonight. After tonight I don't discuss it."
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Post by coachcalande on Aug 27, 2007 18:16:04 GMT -6
I always put this in writing for the parents "no coaching your kid from the sideline or your son will be sitting there with you". jr high/frosh fields are often poorly equipped to keep parents away from team benches. I was told once that I had to control the crowd while I tried to control my 55 boys and coach the game with one assistant...some people have no clue.
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Post by coachcb on Aug 28, 2007 8:18:53 GMT -6
all of the above is solid advice but I would like to add: If you have a meeting with a parent have it in you coaches office with you HC and other coaches there with you. We had our first parent meeting of the year last week; this is exactly how we dealt with it. 5 coaches, mom, dad and the player. It worked great; mom and dad were far more pleasant than they had been 1-1 with the coaches. One of the parents brought up some total piece of fabrication. Allegedly, two of the kids told this player's mother that one of the coaches had verbally abused her son. "They said you were swearing up and down, calling so-and-so worthless, telling him that he should just quit; all in front of the other kids and coaches." The whole story was complete b.s.- none of it happened. Having the entire staff there allowed us to shut that crap down in a hurry. Mom and dad backed down in a hurry; especially when asked if they were going to take the 5 coaches word for it, or two 14 year old kids. |
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Post by ajreaper on Aug 28, 2007 9:50:27 GMT -6
LOL, the player was at the meeting- did he say it happened?
I was called into a meeting with a player his parents and our AD. The kid had missed 6 straight practices without explanation. Dad was there to set me straight (that is what he told our AD before the meeting). Less then a minute into the meeting it comes to light while mom and dad were out of state at a funeral Jr. attended no practices- he was "helping their neighbors". Mom and dad thought he'd been at practice- in less then 10 seconds dad passes it off and says and I quote "I'm still not convinced this is all Billy's fault". No crap that was his statement then goes on to say he thinks it goes back to last year and some coaches who dad claims disliked his boy- now not a single one of those coaches is employed within our district this year and neither myself or any of my coaches had coached his boy previously. I explained it has nothing to do with liking a kid or disliking a kid- he's either there or he is not- either way it is noted in the attendence log. The dad then implies I was marking his kid absent when he was in fact attending practice. It got a little testy there and my AD ended the meeting. No sense in trying to be logical with illogical people it's a waste of time.
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Post by ajreaper on Aug 29, 2007 10:18:17 GMT -6
I did tell him there was another high school 2 miles down the road. The simple truth everyone could see from myself, the AD to the Sup was the kid did not want to play but was being basically bullied by the dad to play- which was easy to see as he tried to do the same to us.
He's a major with the local sherrifs department and apparently his entire leadership style is about bullying and being profane and I know that does not change at home in dealing with his family. The kid turned his gear in the next Monday- he was scheduled to meet with the players council that afternoon and I think he saw the handwriting on the wall.
Dad then preceeded to accuse us of illeagal summer practices and reported us to our state athletic association and I had to provide him with a written schedule of what we did all summer (which Jr. should have had already). We were completely in compliance but this horses butt was grasping for straws- trying anything he could to exact revenge for the wrong he imagined we had committed towards his son.
The joys of being a HC.
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Post by coachcalande on Aug 29, 2007 11:43:54 GMT -6
Put on the thick skin man, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
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