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Post by 19delta on May 23, 2010 17:20:45 GMT -6
Let me start by saying that I love my son...he gets As in school (5th grade), loves to read, and is a good citizen.
Problem is, he flat out sucks at sports. He is simply awful. He's kind of a bigger kid but he is little-girl weak and simply shows not interest or aptitude in sports. Slower than the second coming of Jesus, as well.
He's playing baseball right now...couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. Ever day after school, I take him up to the local grade school diamond with a bucket of 100 balls. I pitch to him and will be lucky if he makes any kind of contact on a third of the pitches.
He's telling me that he wants to play football this fall, but I'm actually afraid to have him play. He is just not aggressive at all and seems to be moving at about half the speed of the other kids out there.
Do I continue to push? Do I continue to try and work with him? Or do I simply come to grips with the facts that sports just aren't going to be his thing?
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Post by blb on May 23, 2010 17:28:35 GMT -6
Let him play what he wants to play and help him when he wants it. No need to "push" for or against - let him find his own way.
Had two daughters who unfortunately inherited their father's athletic DNA. One of them did get two varsity HS letters but eventually, like most people, they found where their real interests and talents lay.
Sometimes it's by trial and error, or failure. As a parent you have to let them.
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Post by mariner42 on May 23, 2010 17:39:55 GMT -6
Could be sports aren't his thing, could be he needs a growth spurt or hormone infusion before he becomes a stud. I think BLB nailed it, though. Let him do it (whatever it is) as long as he's having fun and learning important things from it. If he wants to improve, help him. If he wants to just do it for the hell of it, well, let him know that's OK, too.
I should caution that I have no known children, so I'm largely speaking out of my bum... Just as long as my kid doesn't pick up a skateboard, I'll be happy.
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Post by phantom on May 23, 2010 18:02:34 GMT -6
Let me start by saying that I love my son...he gets As in school (5th grade), loves to read, and is a good citizen. Problem is, he flat out sucks at sports. He is simply awful. He's kind of a bigger kid but he is little-girl weak and simply shows not interest or aptitude in sports. Slower than the second coming of Jesus, as well. He's playing baseball right now...couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. Ever day after school, I take him up to the local grade school diamond with a bucket of 100 balls. I pitch to him and will be lucky if he makes any kind of contact on a third of the pitches. He's telling me that he wants to play football this fall, but I'm actually afraid to have him play. He is just not aggressive at all and seems to be moving at about half the speed of the other kids out there. Do I continue to push? Do I continue to try and work with him? Or do I simply come to grips with the facts that sports just aren't going to be his thing? If he doesn't want to play he doesn't want to play. I would advise that you make him stay involved in some after-school activity. It doesn't matter if he's a manager for a team, school government, or on the school newspaper. If he wants to stay in sports let his coaches coach him. If he wants to play football, well, let's see- big, smart, and slow- the kid was born with "Offensive Line" stamped on his a$$.
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Post by blb on May 23, 2010 18:18:09 GMT -6
If he wants to play football, well, let's see- big, smart, and slow- the kid was born with "Offensive Line" stamped on his a$$. Ha ha, best Huey line of the year - and true, too true!
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Post by superpower on May 23, 2010 18:43:43 GMT -6
First, blame Mom's DNA for any athletic shortcomings. Next, find a DW team for him. A big, slow, smart kid makes the perfect DW center.
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Post by wingtol on May 23, 2010 18:45:13 GMT -6
I wouldn't worry to much he's in 5th grade. Let him play if he wants, be with his buddies run around have some fun. I wouldn't get to worked up being an elementary PE teacher I have seen plenty of kids in 5th grade who had no prayer then by their senior year they are doing pretty well in athletics. Now if he were in 11th grade we would be having a different discussion...
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Post by gdn56 on May 23, 2010 18:51:06 GMT -6
Pretty sound advice above. Let him play if he wants for now...you never know, he may love it and eventually grow in to his body. Not to mention, I firmly believe this game has lessons to teach kids whether they are great players or not....sometimes its not about that.
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Post by los on May 23, 2010 18:55:13 GMT -6
Delta, most bigger 10/11 yr olds are just like your son, in my experience......the big young kids are generally less aggressive and less athletic.......but......that doesn't mean they'll stay that way, as they get older......if he wants to try football, let him try it out......might be the sport he really enjoys and is good at? I would caution= to let him develop at his own pace though....don't over coach him, as football coach/dads have a tendency to do....well at least, I had a tendency to do at times, with my 3 sons.
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Post by ajreaper on May 23, 2010 21:05:52 GMT -6
Good student and good person sounds like he's doing well for himself. Let him find his own way with his interest just support and encourage him in the things he chooses to do. He expressed interest in football so go with it and see where it leads.
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mc140
Sophomore Member
Posts: 209
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Post by mc140 on May 23, 2010 22:12:44 GMT -6
I teach a kid who went from 5'7/chubby and couldn't get out of his own way (beginning of 6th grade) to 6'0 190 (put together) in 18 months. From worst athlete to one of the top 3 in his class. You never know what will happen.
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Post by coach4life on May 24, 2010 6:26:49 GMT -6
Agree with all of the above, especially you never know what could happen and whatever happens keep him busy doing something. One other thing that might help him is if you have Lacrosse in your area get him playing that in the spring, I've seen it help kids really improve their footwork and improve as athletes.
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Post by coachbrek on May 24, 2010 6:43:28 GMT -6
Let me start by saying that I love my son...he gets As in school (5th grade), loves to read, and is a good citizen. Problem is, he flat out sucks at sports. He is simply awful. He's kind of a bigger kid but he is little-girl weak and simply shows not interest or aptitude in sports. Slower than the second coming of Jesus, as well. He's playing baseball right now...couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. Ever day after school, I take him up to the local grade school diamond with a bucket of 100 balls. I pitch to him and will be lucky if he makes any kind of contact on a third of the pitches. He's telling me that he wants to play football this fall, but I'm actually afraid to have him play. He is just not aggressive at all and seems to be moving at about half the speed of the other kids out there. Do I continue to push? Do I continue to try and work with him? Or do I simply come to grips with the facts that sports just aren't going to be his thing? I have coached 5th and 6th grade football for 10 years, I can't tell you how many soft 5th graders we get every year, kids who could not fight their way out of a wet paper bag. By the end of the year they gain some confidence and improve, the jump some kids make from 5th to 6th grade is incredible in their ability and confidence. I take a special interest in all my former players and watch them through their senior year. In 2008 the varsity was undefeated in the regular season and made it to the state championship. The starting offensive line that season was filled with players who were fish in 5th and 6th grade. The starting strong tackle and quick guard, those two kids could not walk and chew gum at the same time in 5th grade. Have your son play, work with him, get him comfortable in his stance, work on his first steps etc. Best of luck coach, don't count him out yet
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Post by John Knight on May 24, 2010 6:49:28 GMT -6
Time to buy a Tuba! Somebody had to say it!!!!!
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Post by blb on May 24, 2010 6:51:13 GMT -6
Geez, john - and you were getting on me for my "Last stop before the bus stop" line!
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Post by John Knight on May 24, 2010 7:06:55 GMT -6
I don't think I ever said you were WRONG!!!!!!!!
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Post by 42falcon on May 24, 2010 8:02:42 GMT -6
He is in 5th grade............ Sat with the president of the City's Bantam league last summer and we chatted about players he said yeah kid X was never on our radar he was slow, small always came to practice so we kept him. This kid is the top RB at the local University.
Not saying your kid is the next coming but....... he is in 5th grade, really we have no clue what he will turn into maybe a monster OL or a great newspaper writer who knows only time will tell.
Keep him involved in something after school. Obviously he wants to play sports so let him until he chooses otherwise. Football is a great sport to learn to be agressive and assretive. He may just be great.
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Post by splitricky5 on May 24, 2010 8:43:59 GMT -6
I didn't play football until the 8th grade. Until that point, I was considered to be slow and unathletic. From 8th grade on, I worked harder than anyone else on the team, became a starter and a captain.
Be supportive and let your son know that he can go as far as he's committed to going. It won't be easy and nobody can do it for him. But if he wants to be a football player, he can be. If not, support him in whatever he's doing.
Just whatever you do, don't be "that" dad...
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Post by coachdbucs on May 24, 2010 10:00:19 GMT -6
There is a lot of good advice on here 19delta. Went through a similar situation. My son started playing in city league FB in the 3rd grade. Big, slow, and not very aggressive. His mother and I kept encouraging him. Since I coach at the HS I knew his only chance to ever play was on the OL. Finally made it to middle school and I watched him sit on the bench for his 7th and 8th grade season. He took the field maybe 5 times in two years. During those years though we worked on shotgun and deep snapping. To make a long story short he ended up starting on the varsity for 3 years and making all-district twice, academic all-state, along with winning the NFHF Award. He only had 3 bad snaps in 3years of varsity ball. Couldn't be prouder of him.
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Post by sandstorm on May 24, 2010 10:53:46 GMT -6
Delta, you make me laugh. My buddy is going through the same thing with his son. Look at it like this, as long as he shows interest, work with him. After all, sports are all about having fun and if he continues with it, he will have to outwork everybody. I have seen below average athletes outwork great athletes numerous times. I think if you focus on teaching him the importance of work ethic, it will all work itself out.
I know I dreamed of having Mike Singletary as a son, but was blessed with two daughters. My oldest (7) got into softball and couldn't throw a softball. Literally, could not do it. Because I was the DC in this small East Texas town, the powers that be put her on a select team loaded with studs. I should have passed, but pride got the better of me.
I worked with her, and taught her the fundementals of using the legs to throw. We worked on hitting, which almost gave me several strokes. Showed her some drills, and we practiced every night after I got home. Soon she was practicing on her own, and when I got home she was ready to show me her improvements. By mid season she transformed from a liability to a contributor. She wasn't near the athlete the other girls were, but she worked her butt off to become the best she could be, and that was a contributing teammate.
...And that to me, is what life is all about.
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Post by John Knight on May 24, 2010 11:00:08 GMT -6
The world needs tuba players too you know!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!! I think your boy will be fine!
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Post by phantom on May 24, 2010 11:11:28 GMT -6
My son inherited his dad's athletic genes. That is NOT a good thing.
In the 8th grade he came to our spring camp and tried to be a WR. After the first day he wanted to quit football. It wasn't because he doesn't like football or that it was too hard. He just made a realistic assessment that he'd never be fast enough to be a good WR and wasn't big enough to play line. I couldn't disagree with him.
I told him that it didn't bother me at all if he didn't want to play. The thing is I didn't want him having all that dead time after school. It was OK to quit but he had to join something else. He was NOT going to come right home and play Playstation after school. I didn't care if it was another sport or a club or the Boy Scouts, he had to do something.
He decided to stay with the team but to be a punter. We're blessed with an outstanding kickers' coach and he has two rules: (1) Only HE coaches the kickers; and (2) They're kickers, not players. They have their own schedule.
The first year he was terrible. He kept at it and worked hard, though. Midway through his sophomore year he took over the job as varsity punter. His senior year he was named to the all-region team and was asked to walk on at a 1AA college (he was quickly cut and became a video guy and a manager).
If he wants to play, fine. If not, fine. Just keep him busy and keep out of it.
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Post by silkyice on May 24, 2010 11:46:57 GMT -6
What you to do is open up the checkbook and send him to an "expert."
I will guarantee a scholarship for your son. Call me at 1-888-YOU-DUMY.
Seriously though, who knows. My only real comment is to enjoy the fact that your son wants you to throw pitches to him right now! Savor each moment.
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Post by coachsky on May 24, 2010 12:16:43 GMT -6
He still pretty young and might grow into himself. You just have to support them in areas they are interested in and can be successful.
I saw a kid this weekend at Prom, super high risk kid, no dad, his family on welfare. Not a great athlete, only started 4 games as a Senior, due to injuries. He was one of the most popular kids on our team and became just a cool, well respected kid at school. Got full financial aid at a private D3 school and is going to turn out for FB.
I have three kids that cover all ends of the athletic spectrum; a D1 football player, an average HS athlete, to a band and math club kid. Just gotta love them and point them in the right direction.
A guy I coach with who was a HS legendary three sport athlete is all bent outta shape that his boy is just not as interested and driven for sports the way he was. As much as he tries to be a great dad, I get the sense that his son and his wife pick up on his disappointment. That's gotta be tough for all of them.
A lot of the great memories I have are just driving to games or weekend tournaments, stopping for burgers, the road trips, just hanging out; with all three of my kids. The wins and loses and individual performances fade over time. The enjoyment we had hanging together is a life long treasure.
The past couple years of coaching my son who is heading out to play college football in the next month was really special. We won a ton of games and he got a ton of accolades, awards, and media coverage. All really cool stuff and we are proud of him. But around the house and with his siblings, he's just part of the bunch, no better, no worse. The other kids have their own accomplishments and skills to be proud of outside of sports.
My advice is to really focus and place the emphasis on "being" rather than "doing". Hold them to high standards, encourage and even require that they make an effort to be great at something. But it has to be where they are gifted and interested. Pushing them to your image of them instead of the purpose they were born for isn't good for you or them.
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Post by coachwoodall on May 24, 2010 12:20:48 GMT -6
My little chap is different. He wants to play, is average at best, but he doesn't want me to coach/work with him. He will let his coach work with him all day long, but not his old man.
The main thing I do is let him know I love him, I am proud of him, and will help him in anyway I can.
The only time I step in is if I see him not hustling or giving effort. In the beginning, he was not having fun and wanted to not play (quit), I told him he was not allowed to quit because he had committed to his team, and he had to finish the year. If he didn't want to play next year, THEN it would be ok not to. BUT he was going to have to do something--- karate, piano lessons, cub scouts, etc....
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Post by phantom on May 24, 2010 12:42:40 GMT -6
Incidentally, this is why I've come to believe that you can't REALLY understand coaching until you've had kids of your own. When you've had to sit through a soccer game (bad enough!) and watch your kid sit the bench you quickly develop an understanding of what parents go through.
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Post by 19delta on May 24, 2010 18:50:42 GMT -6
Thanks for the advice guys. I sure appreciate it.
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Post by coach4life on May 24, 2010 20:47:56 GMT -6
If he wants to play, fine. If not, fine. Just keep him busy and keep out of it. and ]Incidentally, this is why I've come to believe that you can't REALLY understand coaching until you've had kids of your own. When you've had to sit through a soccer game (bad enough!) and watch your kid sit the bench you quickly develop an understanding of what parents go through. Amen, Brother Phantom, Amen, on both counts!
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Post by mattharris75 on May 25, 2010 8:25:06 GMT -6
Incidentally, this is why I've come to believe that you can't REALLY understand coaching until you've had kids of your own. When you've had to sit through a soccer game (bad enough!) and watch your kid sit the bench you quickly develop an understanding of what parents go through. Conversely, I feel like I've learned a tremendous amount about parenting by being a coach. More often than not, it's what not to do and how not to act, unfortunately. But a learning experience regardless.
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Post by John Knight on May 25, 2010 8:58:54 GMT -6
Until it is your kid that is not getting to play and you don't know why, you will never understand.
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