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Post by wingt74 on Nov 9, 2009 15:18:41 GMT -6
Had a player contact me the other day. Coached him 8 years ago. Married, good job, good education, got his problems but overall doing well for himself.
Just emailed me to say thanks for coaching and give me an update.
Man, does that feel good or what? Got me thinking, do I coach for the Ws or for that email? I know the answer is both, but I wondered in the long term, why am I really spending so much dam time on this sport that drives me nuts.
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Post by eickst on Nov 9, 2009 19:00:37 GMT -6
Damn an email like that makes you sit back and realize that you if you ARE doing it for the wins then you are doing it for the wrong reasons and SHOULDN'T be doing it. I think if more of us realized that our sport would be better off.
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Post by jgordon1 on Nov 9, 2009 19:10:50 GMT -6
I know longer live in the area where I used to coach..TG for facebook because I have become friends with some of them thru it..The guys I coached at the beginning of my career are now in their mid 30's and w/ kids ....YIKES..I can't tell you how good the thank you's feel..It took a good ten years to get a couple of them
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Post by Yash on Nov 9, 2009 22:06:43 GMT -6
I still call my high school coaches and thank them every chance I get for the experiences they gave me and the lessons they taught me. I email them all before the season starts and tell them how much I appreciated everything. You only get one life and you never know what day will be your last. I'm going to make sure those that had the biggest impact on me know how much it meant to me any chance I can. Showing emotion doesn't make you less of a man, I think it makes you a more well rounded man.
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ccox16
Junior Member
Posts: 343
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Post by ccox16 on Nov 9, 2009 22:56:21 GMT -6
I wouldnt mind a thank you every now and again
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Post by kboyd on Nov 9, 2009 22:56:24 GMT -6
Well said Yash.
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Post by spartancoach on Nov 11, 2009 10:36:17 GMT -6
Showing emotion doesn't make you less of a man, I think it makes you a more well rounded man. Especially if it helps you get laid. |
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Post by blueswarm on Nov 11, 2009 10:59:44 GMT -6
I once had an older coach tell me that he measured his coaching career not by w's and l's but by the number of wedding invitations he received. things like that are the most imortant reasons why we coach.
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Post by brophy on Nov 11, 2009 11:31:28 GMT -6
I'll take a win
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Post by jrarick on Nov 11, 2009 11:40:11 GMT -6
You know better Brophy. I've read too much of your stuff to think different. And it is NOT one or the other. But I think the point is there is more to measure one's career than by the wins and losses. And how about the graduation open houses. Yikes! Jack Rarick Holt Football www.coachsvideoassistant.com |
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Post by cjamerson on Nov 11, 2009 12:22:48 GMT -6
Because of this thread, I wrote a 4 page letter to one of my former High School coaches. As I wrote it, I realized even more than before the impact he made on my life and career. The examples he set in his professional and personal life showed several of us what it takes to be a productive citizen and a great family man. If you're looking for perspective, do the same and write a letter...it'll certainly get you thinking about the impact you are making on the athletes you coach.
By the way...maybe we can get both the win and the thank you.
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Post by tye2021 on Nov 11, 2009 12:32:23 GMT -6
I'll take a win. Their are alot of ways to reach young men and women to have a positive impact on their lives. I coach football because I love football. And when I coach I coach to win. That doesn't mean i can't impact one of these kids positively. But that can be done in the classroom, at a boys club or at youth ball parks. And many other ways.
I love my players. I educate my players. I will always be there when any of them need me. And will never forget the impact they've had on me.
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Post by hamerhead on Nov 11, 2009 12:38:39 GMT -6
Do I get choose which win?
I mean, some games are more important than others......
Ok, fine. I'll take the thank you letter.
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Post by eickst on Nov 11, 2009 19:50:19 GMT -6
I'm going to write one of my high school coaches a letter right now.
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Post by fbdoc on Nov 11, 2009 19:57:06 GMT -6
Went back to my old school ( 2 years removed) Friday night to watch the rivalry game. They ( last year I still said "We") lost 34-0 to end the season 0-10. They were 1-9 last year. After never losing to the rival school, they have now lost the last two years. Had a bunch of former players come up and say how much fun they had back in the day, "remember that game ...?" and "we wish you were still coaching us..."  I'm good for the rest of the year! |
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Fridge
Sophomore Member
Re-Building the Bocholt Rhinos (18+) in Germany for 2024.
Posts: 148 
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Post by Fridge on Nov 12, 2009 6:41:46 GMT -6
I now coach for 14yrs and more and more players I coached when they were 13 are now family fathers. Still have contact to many of them...
It took me some years to realize what impact a Coach can make in some kid´s life. Especially today, when there are a lot of kids growing up without their father.
I coach for fun, since there´s nearly no chance to coach for money in German youth football. So I would not spend 30+ hours a week for them, if it would only be for a W.
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Post by brophy on Nov 12, 2009 8:13:23 GMT -6
not discounting player relationships, as I truly believe they are vital to coaching and winning, but I honestly think this is a rather ridiculous comparison / argument.
We coach to compete.......you compete to win.
You put ANY adult in an authoritative role over kids, and you will have the EXACT same effect. Any authority figure that puts time and effort into improving another person will have the exact same effect we're gushing over here.
WINS.....does it matter if you won because of scheme....because of fundamentals/execution..... or just kids out there making it happen? Does that type of "win" make a difference?
I have contacted and shown appreciation to three of my former coaches for making a "difference" in my life. I really cannot regard any other coach I've been around as a player that was worth a crap in my life.
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Post by John Knight on Nov 12, 2009 8:26:27 GMT -6
Well it is a ridiculous argument because you can't buy a win no matter what unless you get a forfeit! HAHA!!!!!!!!
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Post by cc on Nov 12, 2009 22:33:51 GMT -6
I understand all of this but right now I would really love to have had a win...
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Post by cc on Nov 12, 2009 22:34:06 GMT -6
I understand all of this but right now I would really love to have had a win...
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Post by jgordon1 on Nov 13, 2009 9:08:54 GMT -6
not discounting player relationships, as I truly believe they are vital to coaching and winning, but I honestly think this is a rather ridiculous comparison / argument. We coach to compete.......you compete to win. You put ANY adult in an authoritative role over kids, and you will have the EXACT same effect. Any authority figure that puts time and effort into improving another person will have the exact same effect we're gushing over here. WINS.....does it matter if you won because of scheme....because of fundamentals/execution..... or just kids out there making it happen? Does that type of "win" make a difference? I have contacted and shown appreciation to three of my former coaches for making a "difference" in my life. I really cannot regard any other coach I've been around as a player that was worth a crap in my life. Yes, Brophy what you say is true..not everyone can be a coach..I suppose you would get the same feeling from being a boy scout leader...or whatever endevour you had leading kids..I do coach to win..but you know what..I can't even remember some of my teams records from 15-18 years ago..I do however remember most of the kids... |
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Post by juancsusb on Nov 15, 2009 17:20:59 GMT -6
The influence we have on these kids is huge!!! Therefore I'd take a thank you from an ex-player cause then I know I had a lasting impact. In the end life is about relationships not just wins.
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Post by lochness on Nov 16, 2009 8:35:42 GMT -6
If you are the type of coach who has put himself in position to get those "thank yous," on a fairly regular basis, chances are you'll win more than you'll lose.
Unfortunately, the flip side is that the coach's effectiveness and worth are entirely estimated in the "wins column." There's so much negativity around losing, that the kids, even if they've had a very positive football experience, end up being poisoned by parents etc. and losing respect for the coach who doesn't win.
I think the two go hand-in-hand.
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sbv
Sophomore Member
Posts: 171
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Post by sbv on Nov 17, 2009 13:09:42 GMT -6
Guys, I voted yesterday that I would take a win over a thank you and no joke, at the end of the day I got a call at school from a former player at my last school who is a senior. He asked for my cell phone number, since he couldn't really talk since school was going on, I gave it to him and he called me about an hour later. Last night was their banquet night and he just wanted to call and tell me how much he appreciated what I did for him last year and that he felt I was the best role model who has had the greatest impact in his life. That was pretty much all he wanted to say and wanted to make sure it was ok to stay in touch in the future even though I am at a new school and I said of course. Afterwards I thought back to this thread and I've got to say, I still would take a win over the thank you and his call validated that. I impacted his life the same way whether he calls to thank me or not, so I'd take a win. I don't think that makes me heartless or a worse of a person and I will admit that his call made me feel really good about myself for a little while. I appreciate the fact that he took the time out of his day to thank me and I think that reflects more on him as a person than me as a person.
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