friend or foe- parents

Parents -- you can't live with them, and you can't use their flesh for shish kabobs -- unless you're Rob Zombie.

I'm at a point in my career in which I don't actively cultivate friendly relationships with parents. I am cordial to them and they are included in team functions, but I really don't want to be "friends" with the parents of our players anymore than I want to be "friends" with administrators or school board members.

A parent was complaining about Jimmy's playing time. Claimed he was better than ALL 3 playing in front of Jimmy. HC told him he would have a meeting to discuss it with Jimmy and Daddy.

Oh, by the way... I'll only have the meeting if you round up the three kids you think Jimmy should be playing in front of - AND their parents and bring them into the meeting with you. Then we'll all sit down and figure out who should be playing and how much.

Jimmy and Daddy never showed...and shut up the rest of the year.

I am sure that those that are not starting, or are starting and not being the sensational player their parents think they are have come to those conclusions in some way (kids that were always big/fast through youth ball who looked like studs, but then never bothered to put the effort into becoming a better player, and find themselves getting dominated by their competition).


Our HS is a Co-OP. Alot of these parents played when the schools were separate - and tiny. They would each field teams with 15 varsity players (with terrible results). Now with the Co-Op, we have 30-35 every year.

These parents just aren't aware of what it takes now to compete. Back when most of the parents played, there were probably a handful of kids that lifted weights - say 5 or 6. Everyone else relied on natural ability. When these parents were 6'3 260 lbs, they were simply bigger than their opponents and it allowed them to be pretty good players without working all that hard.

Now, you've got a handful of kids -say 5-6 - that DON'T lift weights on a regular basis. Those kids fall behind quickly in today's game. Yes, there is always the exception of the one kid so talented that he doesn't need to lift or is naturally strong, etc.

But for the most part, in today's game, if you have a 6'3 260 lb fat, lazy sack of turd who doesn't condition or lift going against a 6'0 210 lb well-conditioned athlete who can bench, squat and lift more than the 260 lb kid, its not even a contest. The fat, lazy turd will lose every time.

Kids in EVERY sport get VERY good at being the biggest (football) or tallest (basketball) kid when they're young without learning how to be fundamentally sound or work hard. Unfortunately, when other kids get just as big or just as tall AND have a better work ethic - (and this usually happens around sophomore or junior year) - they ultimately fall behind.

Its hard for the parents to come to grips with sometimes because they started both ways in HS. The reality is they played because they had to, not because they were great.

I find that it usually becomes "the coach's fault" pretty soon after that state of mind sets in. Its talked about in the car, at the dinner table, at the volleyball games, etc.