Family or Football?

I feel the same way. I love coaching football but feel that there is just not enough time in the day. I would agree that taking a year off may help you realize that you either "need" to coach or that you can live without coaching at this point in your life. I am a young coach but I realize the sacrifices that must be made. I have went back and forth trying to determine if I can live without coaching.

I remember reading in a book recently where a coach says that if you can live without coaching, don't coach. I would assume he was making reference to the time and energy involved...and the sacrifices that one must make and how it affects your family. I guess what I am saying is that I have had similar thoughts.

yep...always family first

If there is something you would rather do, go do it. Family definitely comes first, but that doesn't mean you should have to give them up to coach. I try to spend quality minutes with my kids when I am at home. (They are watching TV right now). But in about an hour when everyone is up and moving around, we will go do something fun.

I was also thinking of taking next year off.  I'm the OC for the varsity but I have a baby coming in April.  I need to go get my teaching credential which will take about a year.  I don't know if I will be able to work, go to school, and put the time in as OC.  My other dilema is one of my younger brothers will be playing varsity next year at another school.  I was only able to see him play his freshmen year.  My other little brother is wrestling in jr. high and I will not be able to go to any of his matches because the season is very short and it ends on our last week of football.   To me I will not get these years back with them.  Both of them have been to practices and games when they were little and I feel I should do the same for them.

I've coached through the raising of my kids. They are now 18, 15 and 14. As they are now towards the end of their time with my wife and I, coaching is actually becoming harder for me than when they were just toddlers.

I know that they will be "on their own" soon and our family structure as I've known it will change soon. I never felt like I was running out of time with my kids because of FB as I've always done plenty with them in the winter/spring/summer but now that they are on the twilight of their time with us my mindset is changing.

My youngest son will end up playing FB at a school that I don't coach at. No way I will miss his Friday night games (whether he starts or rides the pine). His sister will be playing soccer during the fall in the evenings. The decision is a very easy one for me.

FB will always be there but some of those special times supporting your kids won't be.

I'd like to add a twist to this discussion if possible.
I was pretty sure I was going to hang it up after this season. I have a 2.5 year old and a 5 month old at home. I'd get home after practice and the look on my wife's face was enough for me to say, "this is it.". Even on weekends I was unable to fully be there because while I was playing with my daughter, my brain was wondering if our RT can control the 4 technique by himself.

Now that it's time to pull the trigger on my resignation I've decided to look further into, "how do you make it work?"

I know with older kids they can come to practice and stuff and that is fun. But how do you structure your week so you can watch your babies grow up?

I know it's only 10 weeks out of the year, but those 10 weeks can put enough strain on an otherwise healthy household that I'm wondering if it's worth it.

Any ideas are much appreciated.

don't forget to mention the wives.....

before we had children i moved my wife 9 times in 11 years.....always chasing the better job....money, status, higher classification, whatever....

i've made many decisions where football was the sole reason for the decision.....

i certainly won't make those mistakes again.......of course it has nothing to do with my wife saying...."if you move to take another job, you'll be living by yourself" haha...as tempting as it sounds....haha

it's amazing how your priorities change in time.......

if my header told me today i wasn't needed on the staff, i would probably shrug it off and go find a pee wee team to coach........8 years ago i would have got pi$$ed off and moved to another job.....

I struggle with my little kids. I have three, (5, 2, 10 mo). They can't feed, clothe, bathe, or watch themselves. Like Bear said, when you come home and your wife has had to care for three little ones for a 12 hr day it really puts things into perspective.

Its not as much an issue of whether I got to spend time with them, its a matter of survival (and a little priorities). I agree with DC on the matter of "quality" time. I feel like I could make it work and get quality time if they were just a bit older.

If my kids were older, they would come with me to practice. But because they are so little (helpless), its getting harder and harder to justify spending time away.

I started as a HC with one kid as a 1 year old. It was pretty easy to do whatever I wanted then. Now I have three... ;D ...and I simply don't have the luxury of going anywhere whenever I choose.

It may be time to coach at a younger level or as an asst, so that I have more time to help in the house until they are older.

Anyone else have experience going thru this will little ones?

I have to agree that this is tougher on the wife than the kids.

However, a great support group of coaches wives can go a long way in helping out. I have been fortunate to coach with several different great staffs in which our families were very close.

When someone needed a babysitter, extra help around the house, or moral support, the coaches' wives would step up and help each other out. This didn't just occur during football season either. Because we coach multiple sports they were always there to help each other.

My wife and I have lots of great friends (fellow coaches and wives) that we have been associated with scattered throughout the state of Texas. There are lots of memories of our kids, their kids, and our teams that we share.

I wouldn't trade what I do for anything in this world.

I'm a father to 4 very loving children and a fabulous wife. We married while in college. Had our first child in Nov. of my first year of coaching football and continued from there. All our children are now grown and 30(boy), 31(girl), 36(boy), and 39(girl) years old. They all them helped with our football program whether it was waterboy, watergirl, statistician, entering data in the computer, helping with the laundry, playing for me, watching film, etc. We spent a lot of time together. I have coached for 38 years, now retired, but have a great relationship with my children as they grew up.

It was a BIG strain on my wife. I know that she kept some things that occurred with the children during the season from me. Not many have a wife that will do that kind of thing. I can't say enough about the LOVE that I have for her. She never once complained. I even got her involved with keeping stats several times.

If you truly will miss the game you can still have a very healthy relationship with your family and be a very effective coach. You just have to do a great job with time management and setting your priorities properly.

I had one son go on and play D-II football. We only missed 8 games in his career and they were to far to travel and come home after the game or early the next morning to hold staff meetings. If I hadn't been coaching we probably would have made it to those 8 games but missing 8 out of 88 games is not a bad percentage.

Set down and discuss the situation you are in with your wife and family and then make your decision.

This worked for me and my family.

As a young buck with a 5-month old marriage, I loved reading these posts. Very helpful for me.

My wife gripes about how long it has been since we went on a date (I asked if she counted our honeymoon).

Anyway, what is great for us will be my work. I am self-employed, and I control when I work. During football, I plan on scaling the business back.

She's supportive, and a lot hotter than me, so we will find a way to work it out.

I'm a rookie in the marriage game, but there seems to be little chocolate cannot fix.

How does this all change based on practice times or weekend meetings?

For example, we cannot start practice until 4:00, so we don't get home until around 7:00. That means I see my kids for a bath and a story and eat dinner after 8.

Other programs have athletice period or are able to start practice around 3. What time do you get home?

Football, family, social life, and hobbies. I firmly believe that you can do any two out of the four. You can't do three. If you want to do your job, have family time, and golf on Sunday it won't work. Want to take care of the wife and kids, develop a game plan, and watch the Packers? Sorry.

This job involves sacrifice. We ask the kids to do it. Why shouldn't we?

I think this is a very wise statement. I would agree with this based on my experience(s) trying to do all four our even 3 of the four. I suppose there comes a time when you realilze this and have to go one direction or the other. You get tired of being mediocre at all four and have to choose which of the four are important....... Seems like I'm at that fork now.

Thank you, phantom, for posting that.