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Post by cmow5 on Jun 11, 2008 9:39:35 GMT -6
Last Thursday my fiance's grandma went to the hospital with a bunch of problems. She was 89 both legs amputated and both breast. Multiple open heart surgeries, but always pulled through. Well after we went to see her in the hospital on friday she passed away early Saturday morning. My fiance was closer to her then her own mom. She is in bad shape and I dont know what to do or say. Also, her sister is turning to me for advice and I am at a lost. I usally have the answer and a lot of people turn to me with problems. I dont have an answer now. I am at a lost. She is a little better today, but I just found out her uncle will be gone in a couple days. He has lung cancer and it is spread through out his body. There is nothing they can do now. She does not know.
I know this is a coaching board, but I need some help. In the last three years my Fiance has lost her step-dad in a terrible car crash, her grandma, and now her uncle is almost gone. In her life she has lost her dad when she was 7 and her little brother. We are not the most religious people, but right now I think that is what we need. Any one have some words of encouragement? or any advice?
I have football to turn to to keep my mind off things, she has me and I am lost.
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Post by kboyd on Jun 11, 2008 10:40:59 GMT -6
Be there for her to vent and let her get it out. Just listening and letting her know that you are there for her will be very important. No one has all of the answers and sometimes we get an unfair amount of grief dumped on us at once. I am far from religious but I am spiritual and one of the things that works for me in tough situations is letting go and saying "I can't, He can, I think I'll let him." Hang in there and I'm very sorry for the losses.
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Post by Coach Klemme on Jun 11, 2008 18:38:03 GMT -6
Remind the family to cherish all the good memories they had togther and laugh about some of the memories. They are in a place where they are in no pain and are taken care of. That always brings peace to me when these types of things happen.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2008 12:23:18 GMT -6
Being there for her is what she really needs, even if you don't have the answers, no one ever does. The only thing that heals loss is time, and nothing else substitutes. i would simply tell her I don't know, what to say. Believe me I've been there, too often. As for her uncle, if they don't know it's probably due to his wishes, I'd honor that.
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