Coaching stars with bad attitude

Drop him on the depth chart, starting today. Sit him out of drills if his attitude keeps up and his effort is garbage. "If you want to act like a spectator, then you'll be a spectator." As has been pointed out, don't waste your breath admonishing him; just calmly sit him out and tell him he can return if he gets his chit together.

Tell the HC. If nothing happens then you won’t have any power to deal with it anyway

I'm going to go against the grain here and give different type of advice. I used to have the attitude of my way or the highway and if he can't fit in to the standard of the culture that we want, then he's off.

But If his atitude not hurting the other kids or the team as a whole, don't tolerate, but find a way to work with him. It doesn't sound like he's going to be the guy you want him to be no matter what you do. Sometimes that's just the sad truth. But, find a way to make it work and give him the best chance to succeed within your program. The more you stress about it, the worst it will get.

Perhaps a 1 on 1 convo, where you're not raising your voice and you are showing that you're concerned. He knows he's good, he knows you know he's good and he also knows that he's being a d*** head. Give examples of guys who have had their careers ruined because of bad attitudes and let him know you don't want to see the same thing happen to him.

Is it going to improve? Not right away. But stay the course, and it will improve in increments. Will he ever be the guy that you're going to use as an example as a leader and how you want other kids to be? No, he won't. The quicker you accept that, the better this situation will become and the better you can serve this kid and your team as a whole. Get the most out of this kid that you can. IMO, that won't happen by benching him and giving him a bunch of extra punishments. Each kid is different, each situation is different and we can't try and fit a square peg in a round hole just because that's how we want it to be.

I respectfully disagree.

That 1:1 conf. is what he wants.  The kid is used to ATTENTION.  He'll get it any way he can.

The kid is quickly moving into adult life.  Whatever his vocation, he needs to learn that he will always be a member of a team and will need to answer to someone in charge...or will fail as an adult.  He needs the titty pulled from his mouth! 

Like they say in Texas...first you need to get his attention!  "Whomp him up side 'o the head".

Coaches can never be part of the Wussification of the American male!

Let's say that he's NOT a 4 star athlete going to a big school.

Let's say he's a regular HS kid who, after this season, will never again put on a jock strap!

How would you handle THAT bad attitude?

IMHO, you should let the HC & coordinator know what's going on, so that they're aware and can provide you with a united front when/if the situation escalates and stronger intervention needs to be implemented. The next thing I would after consulting with HC is have a conversation with the kid and reinforce what the expectations for his behavior and conduct is on and off the field. And in that conversation really try to gauge what's going on with the kid. A lot of assumptions are being made, but none of us have any idea what may or may not be going on in this kids family life or with him internally/emotionally/ mentally. That doesn't mean to coddle him or anything like that, but you're the adult and he's the kid. It is expected of them to act on and push limits, you're the adult, so remain calm, and act responsibly even if the student/athlete isn't.

If after having the discussion with the student and nothing has changed in their behavior and conduct, then consequences need to be implemented, and if the student has changed his behavior for the better, then you need openly acknowledge and reinforce those behaviors as well. Just continue to reach out to him and let him know you're only there to help him and the team get better.

Ultimately, the student will change or he won't, there will be natural consequences for his behavior if it doesn't click soon, but those are his choices and he'll have to live with the decisions he's made. Stay positive,be compassionate,
set limits, be firm, remember you're the adult and he's the child, so there are no power struggles to engage in. I hope you find the right solution for this issue and good luck to you this season.

Oh, come on!  Are you for real??

It means to give some kind of a wake-up, and that is not to baby him.

***sigh***

At the end of the day, kids need the same thing they've always needed: appropriate responses (positive and negative) to their actions. Personally, I think kids (and society in general) has grown a little soft but that doesn't change the need to be held accountable. Sometimes, we need to change how we hold kids accountable.

Personally, I've used a little extra conditioning as a "reminder" before we start cutting playing time. We ran into a situation recently where a mother had a fit over her exceptionally lazy kid being sent for jogs as "he hates running." Ten years ago, my response would've been "Well, that's the point, isn't it?" These day, I'm not going to fight it; we cut the kid's playing time for a game. He skipped out on practice (mom let him go home because he was having a "bad day") so we suspended him for a game.

Mom has been up in arms over it and my response to her has been quick n' easy: "These are the consequences for his actions."

Again, I'll be the contrarian.

We talk about preparing them for the "real world". In the real world highly competent people (talented) will get more opportunities than those who are not as highly competent.

For example a great salesman who produces more than any other salesman for a company is disliked by his co-workers because he shows up late and is a jerk in the office. The manager and owner, might not like the way he dresses or doesn't like that he slouches during company meetings or he doesn't show up to the Christmas party. Oh well, the CEO simply cares that he produces. Now if he is so toxic that it gives his company a bad rap whether it be through bad publicity or a whole bunch of good employees leaving, then the higher ups will do something about it, but until then, if he's producing, he'll keep his job.

So yes, the highly gifted athlete who is a jerk gets more opportunities- to a point- than the scout team kid who is a jerk. It's life. It's real world.

Check with the other assistants to see if they are noticing the same. Approach the HC to let him know. Ask what the best way would be to handle it. A good HC will want to see it for himself and take it from there, OR, he'll ask how you think it should be handled, OR both! Either way it will fall back into the lap of the kid and he will either change his effort or an effort to change him will be made by the coaching staff.

That's the million dollar question/answer. That's decided by the head man. IMO, there are a couple of times when you need to let a guy go.


1. He does something so wrong that you have to remove him from the team (drugs, tells off a coach, etc.).

2. It becomes so toxic that it affects the team as a whole in a negative way. If the team can survive his toxic attitude and his ability helps the team produce greater results, then you find a way to work with it. 

You don't really know that unless your there everyday and it can usually be felt.