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Post by tigerpride on Feb 21, 2019 11:08:33 GMT -6
Please let me know - am I being an {censored}, or being insensitive?
EX1
Player: "Coach, I am not feeling well, I am going to come home sick."
(Now please understand that I have a lot of sick excuses.)
Me: "Player, if we had a game today, would you play or go home sick?"
EX2
Player: "Coach, I cant lift today because I have to make up my missing classwork."
(work that he could have done on numerous occasions.)
Me: "What if everyone did their homework between 3 and 5pm? And can you not do your work between 6-8 pm?"
It's just difficult for me to say "ok" when these things happen. Just venting. Was browsing this board and was just approached by one of my kids lol.
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Post by silkyice on Feb 21, 2019 11:40:04 GMT -6
Please let me know - am I being an {censored}, or being insensitive? EX1 Player: "Coach, I am not feeling well, I am going to come home sick." (Now please understand that I have a lot of sick excuses.) Me: "Player, if we had a game today, would you play or go home sick?" EX2 Player: "Coach, I cant lift today because I have to make up my missing classwork." (work that he could have done on numerous occasions.) Me: "What if everyone did their homework between 3 and 5pm? And can you not do your work between 6-8 pm?" It's just difficult for me to say "ok" when these things happen. Just venting. Was browsing this board and was just approached by one of my kids lol. Smartass, yes. A$$hole, no. There is a way to be neither (although sometimes both are wanted and necessary). Just say, “Get you tail in the weight room!” |
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Post by coachcb on Feb 21, 2019 11:55:35 GMT -6
I don't think you're being unreasonable but I'd suggest giving yourself an exit route.
"Alright, Billy, you can go home but I want a text from your folks or a doctor's note. It'll be an unexcused absence if I don't get one of those two. Also, remember, missing practice is going to impact your playing time, regardless."
"Yes, Johnny, you can go get your school work done but I want it done in the library or Mr. So N' So's room. I'll ask them if you showed up. And, I want to see you at tomorrow morning's lifting session."
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Post by MICoach on Feb 21, 2019 13:30:07 GMT -6
It can be hard balancing different sides of teaching/coaching with this. We want to teach reliability and responsibility and initiative, etc. but we also want to win games and hold kids accountable to their team.
During wrestling this year I found myself at odds with kids quite a bit when they would go to our after school academic program to make up work and raise their grades but miss the first half of wrestling. If they're actually in there raising their grades, especially the kids who would be ineligible otherwise, then that is good and they should be doing it. But if they're trying to get out of the hard part of practice (drilling, conditioning, etc.) so they can just make it to live wrestling then that's B.S. so I started leaving practices to round kids up and make sure they were doing what they say they were.
And the worst part is, they shouldn't have to go to the after school center, because it's entirely possible to pass classes by doing your homework/studying during the day and at home, just not from 3-5.
So on the one hand, the end goal of coaching is not to really create world caliber wrestlers/football players, it's to create good, successful young men. I find myself caught unable to decide if it is better to support them academically above athletically, or to get them in the wrestling room/practice field/weight room and encourage them to pursue good grades just not during team time.
THE WORST PART: I have yet to find a real answer to this question, so I just end up saying sarcastic stuff like you and wondering if I'm an a$$hole or not.
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Feb 21, 2019 13:43:29 GMT -6
Sarcastic- yes.
You're not wrong in the message being conveyed, but I think the approach is a$$hole-ish. A simple "No this is not ok..." and explain why. Be direct and to the point- truthful.
There is ZERO need for sarcasm in coaching. It's not funny; it's belittling and always is received in a negative manner. It builds walls in player-coach communication.
I am a recovering sarcasm-abuser- things are WAY better now for me and my players.
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Post by CS on Feb 21, 2019 17:11:50 GMT -6
If you miss you make it up. It doesn’t matter what it’s for. Universal rule and there are zero exceptions.
Our HC will speak with the kids if they miss and if it becomes a habit he will just sit back and say “ you know Johnny we sure could use a good manager next year, and you just might be it.” He says this being serious. The ones who want to be a part of the team but not put in work are ok with it. The ones who want to play will show up after that.
Generally we have no problems with attendance
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Post by kahnfoo44 on Feb 21, 2019 21:17:21 GMT -6
Please let me know - am I being an {censored}, or being insensitive? EX1 Player: "Coach, I am not feeling well, I am going to come home sick." (Now please understand that I have a lot of sick excuses.) Me: "Player, if we had a game today, would you play or go home sick?" EX2 Player: "Coach, I cant lift today because I have to make up my missing classwork." (work that he could have done on numerous occasions.) Me: "What if everyone did their homework between 3 and 5pm? And can you not do your work between 6-8 pm?" It's just difficult for me to say "ok" when these things happen. Just venting. Was browsing this board and was just approached by one of my kids lol. Coach....have the same problems with pretty much the same responses. Today talked with a mom and told her that if her son was getting poor grades. The school offered tutoring after school lifting starts 30 min after school gets out so he has 30 or more with a tutor. Then he can come I. The weight room and get a warm up then 10 min of homework and get a set of the main lift in and repeat. At least she could be sure he was working and getting a workout. She works at this time and has tried me most times he doesn't come I. Is because he is lazy. She liked this idea. I suspect I'll see him more. |
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Post by coachwoodall on Feb 22, 2019 7:51:10 GMT -6
It's only human nature to show your inner sphincter every once in a while.
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Post by coachwoodall on Feb 22, 2019 8:13:40 GMT -6
I must say our admin came up with a school wide solution that pretty much solved the tutoring part ( not the "don't feel good" part)
4x4 block, school day 8:10-3:25
Block 1 - 90 minutes
Block 2 - 90
PowerHour A - 25 minutes
PowerHour B - 25
Block 3 - 90
Block 4 - 90
PowerHour is lunch, tutoring, intramurals, clubs, planning, etc.....
Kids can eat lunch either PowerHour A or B unless:
-they have a C- or lower and then their teacher assigns them mandatory tutoring
-they have a club/group meeting during one of those periods
The PowerHour periods are just like a class; there is a bell for transition, then a tardy bell to signal that everyone must be in certain locations ( they can't be wandering the halls)
Teachers have Lunch one half of the PowerHour, then they have either tutoring, clubs, department meeting/planning (only twice a month max), or duty.
There is a master schedule matrix that tries to stagger tutoring so that different departments have tutoring on different periods of PowerHour. Some teachers allow kids to hang out in their rooms and eat/socialize. The alternating of tutoriing periods is to accomodate the kids that are off campus attending the vocational school and get back on campus from moring or leaving for the afternoon in the middle of the PowerHour periods.
For example my weekly schedule looks like this (and everyone in my department):
Monday - Lunch A, tutor B
Tuesday - Club/department planning/Tutor A or B (my choice) lunch other
Wednesday - Lunch A, tutor B
Thursday - Tutor A, lunch B
Friday - Lunch A, duty B
The kids have no excuse for having missing assignments, failing grades, making up tests, or being behind. It is really good for students, but a bit of a bear for teachers if they do it right. I just juggle my schedule/kids and usually eat my sammich while I'm helping a kid, then I can do whatever I need to do during the lunch portion.
I like it. I hope this makes sense.
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Post by realdawg on Feb 22, 2019 9:44:46 GMT -6
We have kinda the same thing as coachwoodall. Our kids all have wt lifting as a class either 1st or 2nd Block. At the end of the day we have a block of time that is 40 minutes for kids to get tutoring. Make up work. Etc... so it’s easy to say to a kid....you should have done that during the study period.
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Post by fshamrock on Feb 25, 2019 9:42:14 GMT -6
Please let me know - am I being an {censored}, or being insensitive? EX1 Player: "Coach, I am not feeling well, I am going to come home sick." (Now please understand that I have a lot of sick excuses.) Me: "Player, if we had a game today, would you play or go home sick?" EX2 Player: "Coach, I cant lift today because I have to make up my missing classwork." (work that he could have done on numerous occasions.) Me: "What if everyone did their homework between 3 and 5pm? And can you not do your work between 6-8 pm?" It's just difficult for me to say "ok" when these things happen. Just venting. Was browsing this board and was just approached by one of my kids lol. I really like the first one, depending on how it's presented. I really like guiding kids into realizing that they are lazy slobs. Big lesson I've learned is that most kids would describe themselves as hard workers and genuinely believe it. "If you had this injury could you play in the game?" "yes" "then why can't you workout today?" "well because bluh bluh bluh" "so would it be fair to say that you just arent as motivated to workout today?" "well...yeah I guess so" "and this isn't the first time is it? so would it be fair to say that you consistently have a hard time getting the motivation to workout and you tend to find excuses not to?" "yeah..I mean I guess" "okay so what can we do about that?" I always try to make kids take responsibility and confront their own B.S. why just last week a kid told me he had an orthodontist appointment at 530 pm on a Friday......ain't no ortho in America making appointments for that time....I weedled that dude into the ground until he admitted he was lying, went as far and dialing the number to the doctor's office maybe that makes me an a$hole but I feel it's worthwhile |
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