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Post by hsrose on Dec 19, 2018 15:45:32 GMT -6
Not trying to be morbid or anything here, but how long do I need to keep a player memorial front and center in the football office? The year before I got here a dad went crazy and killed his son, daughter, and then himself. He was a football player. In the office is his framed jersey, signed by the team at that time. I did coach a couple of these players in my 1st year here. In the quad outside is a memorial bench to he and his sister, along with a big mural. I'm not trying to move anything out of here, but it's been 6+ years now. None of players here today have even heard of the event much less could have known the player.
How long is long enough before I can move this framed jersey from front and center in the office. It's the 1st thing you see as you walk in the door, right next to the white boards.
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Post by dubber on Dec 19, 2018 15:50:06 GMT -6
Not trying to be morbid or anything here, but how long do I need to keep a player memorial front and center in the football office? The year before I got here a dad went crazy and killed his son, daughter, and then himself. He was a football player. In the office is his framed jersey, signed by the team at that time. I did coach a couple of these players in my 1st year here. In the quad outside is a memorial bench to he and his sister, along with a big mural. I'm not trying to move anything out of here, but it's been 6+ years now. None of players here today have even heard of the event much less could have known the player.
How long is long enough before I can move this framed jersey from front and center in the office. It's the 1st thing you see as you walk in the door, right next to the white boards.
If you want to move it, move it. I personally would never move it. Be prepared for backlash, just in case. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2018 16:01:16 GMT -6
I think you'd probably be ok to move it some place less conspicuous, but I wouldn't take it down. Maybe put it up in the hallway, weight room, or trophy case instead.
That would still be respectful of his memory while moving it out of your way.
I'd probably re-arrange some of the other stuff so you can fall back on "we had to move it" in case there is backlash.
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Post by larrymoe on Dec 19, 2018 17:19:24 GMT -6
Ya, I'd just move it somewhere else. I mean, your school can't become a memorial for every kid that dies that went to school there. At some point, it's time to move on. For everyone.
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Post by cfoott on Dec 19, 2018 20:48:43 GMT -6
Not trying to be morbid or anything here, but how long do I need to keep a player memorial front and center in the football office? The year before I got here a dad went crazy and killed his son, daughter, and then himself. He was a football player. In the office is his framed jersey, signed by the team at that time. I did coach a couple of these players in my 1st year here. In the quad outside is a memorial bench to he and his sister, along with a big mural. I'm not trying to move anything out of here, but it's been 6+ years now. None of players here today have even heard of the event much less could have known the player.
How long is long enough before I can move this framed jersey from front and center in the office. It's the 1st thing you see as you walk in the door, right next to the white boards.
We have a couple ways we have memorized players. Helmet sticks with initials for one kid who was going to come to our school but passed in the eighth grade. Another kid passed after he graduated so we have an award named after him. Maybe transitioning to something a long those lines after his year graduates, or a couple classes after that. |
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Post by newhope on Dec 20, 2018 7:12:50 GMT -6
You can move it, but you need to have an idea of where you're going to move it to still memorialize the player or you might be opening a can of worms you can't close. Perhaps put it over the bench, or if you have an area with retired jerseys or something similar. DON'T just take it down. DON'T just put it in a closet. It doesn't need to remain front and center in your office--but once you move it, realize you will be asked why you moved it and where you moved it to. Your answer better not be what you put in your original post. The player and the memorial might not mean much to you and your current players might not have played with the guy, but their are people in the community that it does mean something to.
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Post by silkyice on Dec 20, 2018 9:44:43 GMT -6
Need to do a "renovation". Don't just move the framed jersey.
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Post by bigdog2003 on Dec 20, 2018 11:01:14 GMT -6
We had a very popular player, who was a good friend of mine, pass away the Sunday before homecoming week started my junior year of high school. He was a JV player, but everybody knew him and the entire community took it really hard. I sat beside him in Spanish class, and it was rough going to that class for a while after that and seeing an empty desk. Before the homecoming game that week, his family was honored, and his jersey number was painted in the endzone. His locker in the school became a memorial for people to sign and leave notes on for most of the year. When the field house was completed a few years later, they named the home locker room in his honor and put up a memorial plaque for him. I know I still think about him 17 years later, and September 30 is still a day that I still take pause on to think back about him more than any other day. I'm sure most of the kids have no idea who he was, but for the people that do, it is still something for us to honor his life with. His sister was in New York, and working at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001, and would have been above the impact zone, but happened to be running late to work that day. That family had just gone through that, then lost him a few weeks later.
I would say to leave it where it is. Even if most of the kids there now don't have any idea of who he was, there are still many in the community that did.
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Post by fantom on Dec 20, 2018 11:03:30 GMT -6
Not trying to be morbid or anything here, but how long do I need to keep a player memorial front and center in the football office? The year before I got here a dad went crazy and killed his son, daughter, and then himself. He was a football player. In the office is his framed jersey, signed by the team at that time. I did coach a couple of these players in my 1st year here. In the quad outside is a memorial bench to he and his sister, along with a big mural. I'm not trying to move anything out of here, but it's been 6+ years now. None of players here today have even heard of the event much less could have known the player.
How long is long enough before I can move this framed jersey from front and center in the office. It's the 1st thing you see as you walk in the door, right next to the white boards.
Are you planning to put something else there? |
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Post by fkaboneyard on Dec 20, 2018 11:13:04 GMT -6
IMO - moving it just because "none of the players here today have even heard of the event much less could have known the player" is not a good idea. If you would like to move it because a renovation of some kind is happening and you have a new spot for it that's one thing, but moving it because it happened before your watch is not a good reason. If you decide it bugs you that much and you move it, be prepared for the slight possibility that it could blow up in your face in spectacular fashion.
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Post by tothehouse on Dec 20, 2018 11:41:43 GMT -6
Would it be a good idea to ask around with your own people? Asking CoachHuey is good, but what does the AD/Principal say?
This year, the new HC at our place, decided to not give out the MVP award for football. This was/is a memorial award for a JV player from the 1950s. The award is given to the best varsity player. The new HC is getting MASSIVE heat for not giving out the award. It's sacrilegious. You don't mess with this particular award.
Another example of it's importance. I was talking with a prominent businessman in our area. There is an award given out by the football program for his son who committed suicide. The award comes with a scholarship and money...it's a huge deal.
I told the businessman about the MVP award not being announced. I said..."what if the HC took your son's award away?"
Here was his response...
"They can take my son's award away if they like. But don't phuk with the MVP award."
Blew me away.
Anyhow...I'd ask around. Things like this are really important to people. And not necessarily the people who are currently in the building.
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Post by 42falcon on Dec 24, 2018 21:08:13 GMT -6
This year we lost a player the night before a game. Walked into the school police cars everywhere staff directed to the theater and then I get pulled out of the hall by my Principal to tell me the kid died in a car crash. That was the worst day of my teaching career. I won't get into the details or any of that stuff because that is not what the thread is about. What we did was:
-removed the #9 from our football program it no longer exists and will not exist again
-we wore memorial decals on our helmets (this will shift into next season where we will all wear smaller #9's and they will stay on for the remainder of the program)
-the kids locker is relevant to this discussion as it has become a memorial and the question begs for how long?
The answer: it depends. The day after he died our players propped the door to our locker room open and a few of this kids friends took trainers tape and wrote messages to the player on the tape and then stuck them to the door of the locker. The locker has messages ranging from: "I love you", "FAMILY", "I've know you since grade 2, played together since grade 7, will play together again in heaven".
Initially I thought about taking the tape into the inside of the locker but after seeing what that turned into I have left the tape on the outside. Right now basketball has the locker room and the memorial has stayed. The only thing that will change it is as someone mentioned a "renovation". We have brought someone into take out all the lockers and re-jig the room the physical locker from our player will go away but the door will stay and we will then mount the door on the wall.
I get that if you stay somewhere long enough you may lose someone. This is a kid who played for US he played for the program the school etc. Right now it is still raw for me and for our players and parents. At some point it will not be and as you have said the kids will lose the connection. In my mind our kid had his life cut short my job as the leader of the program is to make sure that these young men understand how fragile life is, you get one life you make it the best life you can regardless of circumstance. Kids don't get that if Madden goes bad they hit the reset button, if math is hard they drop it to take a lower level math. At some point the kids at my school will not know #9 and that is OK but it is my responsibility to ensure that #9 did not die in vain and that his life will be celebrated as a metaphor for all people to live life and to live it hard.
Coach do what you want but as others have mentioned ask around get perspective. Memorials change and morph. Maybe you just need to re-conceptualize it.
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Post by canesfan on Dec 24, 2018 23:12:25 GMT -6
Renovate and move it somewhere in the locker room. Please don’t just take it down. In all seriousness that could start the beginning of the end of your tenure.
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Post by bobgoodman on Dec 26, 2018 20:38:35 GMT -6
Not trying to be morbid or anything here, but how long do I need to keep a player memorial front and center in the football office? The year before I got here a dad went crazy and killed his son, daughter, and then himself. He was a football player. In the office is his framed jersey, signed by the team at that time. I did coach a couple of these players in my 1st year here. In the quad outside is a memorial bench to he and his sister, along with a big mural. I'm not trying to move anything out of here, but it's been 6+ years now. None of players here today have even heard of the event much less could have known the player.
How long is long enough before I can move this framed jersey from front and center in the office. It's the 1st thing you see as you walk in the door, right next to the white boards.
Are you planning to put something else there? That's the real consider'n. Is there something bad about the sight of that framed jersey that would improve by having something else there? Is it too much of a downer when people ask who those people were, and then get told this creepy story? Recently we went past a flag at half staff, and I wondered out loud who it was for. Was it still Bush? I said I think they get a month. I'm reminded of the Simpson cartoon in which people are awwing at a cute animal, but then turn their att'n to a cuter one, then a still cuter one, & the original upstages that one & they want it out of the way. So it's like that w this. If there's no positive reason to get that framed item out of there, don't. If there is, then you have your excuse. |
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