kakavian
Sophomore Member
Where's the ball, boy? Find the ball.
Posts: 175
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Post by kakavian on Jun 3, 2006 19:53:11 GMT -6
Here it is with my wife pregnant, due in six weeks, (July 12th) and me working 40 hours a week barely making the rent as it is, and the local HS changes coaches, and they offer me the paid DC spot, or the JV head coach spot, for the asking.
I had promised my darling wife that I wouldn't head coach this year, our boy's first year, so I could spend some time at home, and spend some time with my lady. And while the hours work out better than youth coaching, having Sundays off, and getting out of practice the same time she gets out of work, I just cant take the financial knock that it would take to do this. The HC was really working me, though, trying to let me know they really could use the help. Added to that, I coached most of the skill kids and about a third of the linemen as youth players, and the new HC is a former HC of our rival school across the river.
Just friggin killing me to have to pass on an opportunity to get back into the HS game after six years away from it. Just being on the field again, seeing the speed and passion these kids have was heart breaking, wanting to be able to respond with a big "Yes" instead of a "probably" or a "limited basis" or any of the other vacillating responses I had to give. *sigh*
While I love my wife, and am very much looking forward to the arrival of my son...Some times having to be an adult just SUCKS!
Okay...done venting, thanks for listening.
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Post by saintrad on Jun 3, 2006 20:00:04 GMT -6
be the JV HC and not the Varsity DC.... the DC position takes a lot of time to scout, chart, and plan, but thats just my personal opinion after doing the DC route last year
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Post by coachjolly on Jun 4, 2006 5:53:24 GMT -6
"A Man's got to do what a man's got to do".
If you need the $, then I agree with above take the JV spot, pass on DC. OC and DC are just as busy as the head guy.
Congrats on your son, and best of luck to you.
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Post by mudslinger on Jun 4, 2006 6:28:17 GMT -6
Take a chance and show your lady the thread you posted...........ya never know................
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kakavian
Sophomore Member
Where's the ball, boy? Find the ball.
Posts: 175
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Post by kakavian on Jun 4, 2006 20:42:20 GMT -6
Thanks for the thoughts fellas, the problem is honestly I cant take ANY HS spot because of the time involved. And as far as the way I coach as an HC, that would take MORE time than the DC spot, because I overview everything, and am my own OC. And my lady is aware, its just the time and money, she actually would support me in it if we could afford it...  |
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Post by here4thekids on Jun 4, 2006 21:13:19 GMT -6
Coach,
You sound like a great man and I feel for you and your situation. One thing you have to remember is that having a family and coaching at the same time can be ROUGH. Instead of just worring about yourself and how something affects you, now you have to worry about our wife, your children, and how it affects them. The advice I will offer is explore every avenue, be patient, talk it out, and somewhere you will find your answer. This is what I have done when faced with some hard decisions and it has always worked for me.
As far as specific adivice, how about being the JV DC. I know you mentioned something about money (and I don't know how it is in your state) but paid coordinators don't get that much (a couple of thousand dollars is it) and being the JV DC will give you more time than any of the other 2 positions. You could still coordinate, see a faster level of the game, and have more time to yourself. If that is not an option than a year out of football might have to do. Always remember this is a hobby for most of us (even if we do get paid unless you are doing it full-time) and no hobby, no matter how much we love is worth missing out on your family's life. Take care coach and I wish you the best on your future decision.
Sincerely,
Coach D
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tackle
Sophomore Member
Posts: 129
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Post by tackle on Jun 6, 2006 21:56:45 GMT -6
Coach K,
I feel your pain. I took last year off to support wife and work extra while she stayed home. It killed me. I love the game and missed the daily interaction with the kids. I am back coaching but have made it clear to the head coach that I cant spend infinite hours watching film and bsing. I drove my wife crazy last season and my wife realized that football was more than a game for me. I am one of the few coaches in america that sprints off the field to get to daycare when its my turn. I wished I would have taken on a limited role last year, like a pressbox coach or create scouting reports. I suggest not going cold turkey
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Post by paydirt18 on Jun 6, 2006 22:27:59 GMT -6
Coach, IMO you can't give coaching up totally if you have a true passion for it. I feel you with the newborn as I too have a little guy at home with another on the way. For me, I have some very supportive family who helps out-especially during the season. My wife also knows that football keeps me somewhat sane because, as pathetic as this sounds, football is what I do for fun. While other guys golf, I watch film. While other guys play a rec sport or whatever, I work on something football related. A previous post said something to the matter that " my wife knows I go insane around the house, etc." That's me in a nutshell.
Bottom line, take the less involved position, pull back just a little, dedicate as much time to both the newborn and football and it will work out.
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Post by brophy on Jun 7, 2006 13:10:09 GMT -6
I feel your pain. I have worked with a lot of guys that had the same situation that you have (kids / working on Masters).
Honestly, I would recommend you take the DC gig and train up your assistants (a good LB coach and / or a competent Secondary guy) that you could let autopilot the ship when you need it. It would help you with time management and help HIM because you are mentoring him. This may sound SELFISH ("if you can't devote the time....yada yada") but as Dr.Phil would say, This ain't about YOU!" (or any other coaches - it's about the TEAM) - Delegate the tasks...make the assistants responsible for something.
A new baby is great and you CAN support your wife WHILE coaching. How unfulfilled will you be when you know you should be out helping athletes? I mean, WHEN CAN you go back to coaching? The answer would be never....because there never IS a convenient time, until you're retired.
The JV HC position would be a nightmare, because you have to organize and manage not only the kids but also their PARENTS!!
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Post by coachveer on Jun 8, 2006 6:26:30 GMT -6
Coach,
There is an old saying that says "if the wife ain't happy then your not happy." I also think that can also be true in reverse. IMHO you might want to sit down with Momma and talk this. She might already know that you might need this opportunity. Like many of you once my daughter was born the coaching stayed but the weekend golf outings with the boys went.
Sometimes all we can do is put it in the hands of the man upstairs.
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Post by phantom on Jun 8, 2006 7:20:02 GMT -6
Coach, Like many of you once my daughter was born the coaching stayed but the weekend golf outings with the boys went. I strongly believe that you can be a good coach and have a good family life but you can't add in a hobby and/or social life (in-season, that is). |
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Post by groundchuck on Jun 8, 2006 7:24:27 GMT -6
Coach, Like many of you once my daughter was born the coaching stayed but the weekend golf outings with the boys went. I strongly believe that you can be a good coach and have a good family life but you can't add in a hobby and/or social life (in-season, that is). Agreed. There are a lot of guys who I know who take long hunting and fishing trips. Can't do that with having kids and coaching. Not if you want to stay married anyway.  My kids were born 4 weeks and 1 week respectively before the first day of practice. |
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