Kids missing games

Kick him off the team. Phuk him.

Miss a practice, sit a quarter. Miss 2, miss a half. Miss a week, he doesnt play.

If he isnt a cancer, keep him. Anything he brings in with fundraising is still money, and you'll need bag holders at practice for when he is there!!

We had a DE miss a game for an AAU bball tourney a few states away. We knew it was going to happen, he played scout team RB all week.

We as football coaches preach about the benefits of multi-sport athletes, but we dont want kids to miss our stuff. There's some give and take, as long as the kid and his parents are working with you, there isn't a problem.

Exactly as above...if you miss off-season for another sport, just make sure you communicate with us. But if you miss in-season for another sport, be prepared for the consequences.

He isnt just playing 1 AAU tournament in the fall. He obviously is playing throughout the entire fall season on the weekends. The kid needs to choose one or the other.

I didn't want to have to play detective to find out who was telling me the truth about why they were missing a practice or game.

And I sure didn't want to decide whose excuse - AAU, job, family vacation, whatever - was valid and whose wasn't. What a quagmire that could be.

You want to play Football in our program - don't miss, don't be late.

I can't imagine a kid who sincerely cares about the sport and his teammates missing a GAME.

For some reason our HC let our kicker go to a soccer something and he missed a game. The other "kicker only" kid...missed a 30 yarder that would have sealed the game for us. We lost in OT.

It doesn't sit well with me. If I, myself, commit to something...nothing else gets in the way. The kicker missing the game...and the game came down to a kick...that another kid missed. That bothers me.

I would say...if it's going to affect a Friday night...you gotta pick one.

Playing Devil's Advocate - 

So your kicker picks soccer, you only have your second kicker, he misses, you lose anyway.

Except now your best kicker isn't available next week either because you made him choose...and you lose that one too.

I know the answer for some of you, you'd rather lose with committed kids than etc. and so forth...

The kid was up front that you were at best equal to perhaps second in his priorities.  I would assume when he's there he's fully committed.  Your choice is whether to accept a kid who is mostly there and fully committed while there, or not have him at all.

It's an interesting conversation.

Does/should it matter if the kid is a prospect in the other sport, where he might get a scholarship in the other sport? If the kid is a potential football recruit, and misses a baseball game/track meet for a combine or a college camp or something that might mean his ticket to free college, does that change anyone's mind?

Pretty sure here if you participate in non sanctioned sports during a season it makes you ineligible. Maybe it's just if it's the same sport, but I'm not super familiar with the rule.

I'm with you.  We want kids to be committed to US.  We preach commitment, but we often only mean FOOTBALL.  This is still a learning process for me, this has been something I've been learning and dealing with the past few years. 

To some of you, especially the non-teachers, if your job changed, would you stop coaching?  Your outside job, in mid-October, says "job or football," what do you do?  Luckily, you are in positions that allow you to work with both.

Or, what about adjusting the practice schedule to accommodate a coach who cant be there til a certain time?  Do you lift weights before practice so your DC can make it from work to the field for practice?   

I get it, and I see both sides here.  Ive kicked my own position players off the team for this kind of stuff.  All of us, coaches and players, have other lives, and things that are more important than football, whether we want to openly admit it or not.  Each of us are in different regions of the country, with different mindsets, and with different problems.  BUT, a kid wanting to better himself, while communicating and working with those around him who are negatively affected, is exactly what we preach in our own programs!

Actually, in the real world of business you see alternative work arrangements all the time - flexible schedules, working from home, part time, etc.  Mostly because we've had to learn that all that really matters is results. Within certain limits, the where and how the work gets done is irrelevant.  Of course, defining those "certain limits" is quite the challenge, which is what we're doing here...

And if the kid is up front about his circumstances, how is that not honoring a promise?

Honestly, in your shoes, I don't know what I'd do.  Coaching youth, we bend all  the time because kids always are playing multiple in-season sports. We don't force a decision because the kid isn't necessarily in a place to make one - I'd hate to force a kid to choose and have him choose wrong, so to speak. As long as everything is well communicated and the parents are working with us, we work with them. It's not uncommon for a kid to miss one of three practices a week for another sport. Sometimes that impacts what position a kid will play, or even how much he'll play, but not always.

I can make arguments both ways. What I will challenge is that blanket mentality of "full commitment or no commitment", because that isn't the way life actually works anymore, it's lazy decision making, and it's not necessarily in the best interests of the most important party to this, and that's the kid(s), not the coach(es). Of course, you could think it through, look to bend this way and that way, and yet end up at the same decision of "no", LOL.  That's life too.

In the real world of business and industry the team effort is to complete the project...not look for alternative work schedules.

Approaching age 70...I've never learned to be PC.  I just get the job done, and try to instill that in my players.

Right - complete the project.  But the reality is that you complete the project with team members that all have varying needs and abilities. And when one tells you "I can't be here on Tuesdays because I have X going on", you need to look at the PROJECT and decide whether that team member, who is available on M-W-Th-F, is still the best person for the job.  Because if they are, but you make a decision based on perceived commitment and move them off the project and it impacts the results, you just might have cost yourself your job. And bluntly, sitting at home saying "yeah, but I stuck to my principles and went with people who were committed" ain't putting food on the table.

In the "real business world", this stuff is hot and heavy right now. We're struggling with this every single day - how do we balance the needs of the team, the organization, and the individual. Oh, yeah, and we have this pesky little other thing - paying clients we have to service. Which puts even more pressure on the decisions we make. Although perhaps the parents are pretty close to the same thing, LOL.

Sure, this is easy on the extreme margins. Comments like "Johnny gets to run off wherever he wants to...anytime he wants to"
isn't really on point. Johnny isn't running off wherever he wants to.  Johnny approached you with an arrangement that has structure and commitment, defined accountability built in, and that possibly benefits you (a productive player who can help you win) and him. It's just not the structure you're accustomed to.  So is your comfort what's important?  Or is having your best kicker available for the most kicks to win games?

That said, "Because now I have to answer to everyone else about other commitments." is very much on point. Yup, that's the problem, isn't it?  How do you treat people differently but still be fair to all?

My only real exception is to the comment - "If the kid is such a damn good baseball player...the scholy or chance to get drafted will still be there. He doesn't need to go to a "showcase" in October. He'll still hit bombs in the spring. That isn't going to disappear because he misses a day of standing around a cage in October." - are you SURE about that?  Are you willing to risk a kid's future with that opinion?  Is that even your job to decide as a youth educator? It IS your job certainly to decide whether to let him on the team, but is it your job to make that kind of judgement about it?

I'll back off now - this is a complicated issue. It hits pretty close to home for me because I have this going on every day, and it's the exact same arguments.  How committed are they? How can I let X do that and still be fair to Y?  If I let Z happen, does everyone then get to do that? Are we better off with a full time butt in the seat of a lesser employee over a part time butt in the seat of a more talented employee?

I don't pretend to have the answers, either. And realistically, I'm probably over-complicating this when it comes to HS sports. This isn't real world business, kids need to learn certain things, and perhaps in the long run it's better to take a hard line and teach them now. I don't know.

I've never been in this situation but I heard of a case.  The kid was a great athlete-230 pounder who could run- and primarily a baseball kid, a legitimate prospect. Before the football season he told the football coach that he'd play football under the condition that he could attend a wooden bat showcase that would force him to miss a game. It wasn't an ultimatum. He wanted to play football but knew where his future was. The coach's choice was have him fore nine games plus playoffs or not at all (He was named all-state in football). It was all up front so why not?

You only get so many at-bats as a HS Football player.

In our state we play nine regular season games. Less than half the teams qualify for playoffs.

Basketball teams play 20 games and everybody gets into tournament. Baseball can schedule up to 36 regular season games and again everybody gets into post-season.

So in those two sports kids will play more games in one year than they will in two years of Varsity Football.

That doesn't include all the Summer league games they can play in both.

Again I can't imagine someone who genuinely cares about the sport and his teammates consciously deciding to give up an opportunity to play on Friday night.

The other thing is this. In our state Football season is only eleven weeks long, not including playoffs. We cannot make anything Off-Season mandatory. When you add in the Summer kids can play Basketball and-or Baseball twice that long or more.

So when official practice starts I don't think it's unreasonable to be selfish about kid's devotion to the team and Football.