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Post by carookie on Oct 7, 2016 15:45:32 GMT -6
Let me preface this by writing I have never been a varsity HC, I have been the #2 guy at the last couple schools I have been at; and as such been given a lot of responsibilities to do non football things usually assigned to HC (monitor grades, meet with AD, meet with parents, organize camps, maintain inventory, etc). I have been lucky enough that these programs for the most part have been well run, and always won a lot; so though there has been some parental issues (particularly at one of them) it has never been overly detrimental.
Now I have read of some issues here, and have buddies who have been in horrible situations with parents, and it got me wondering about parental contracts. Has anyone here ever implemented (or considered implementing) signed parental behavioral agreements? There are a lot of things I would consider having, and possibly not having, things like: talking to coaches about playing time, threatening coaches, ensuring parents and kids follow proper injury protocol, behavior while attending games, etc. would be in there.
If so, what did you have in there? Also, what were the consequences for violating these rules (removing the son from the team)? Just wondering.
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Post by chi5hi on Oct 7, 2016 16:45:38 GMT -6
99% of parents don't need such things. Many of them might be off-put by such a document, and rightly so...
Parents aren't your enemy. Only that one jerk you see every couple of years is.
NEVER punish a kid for what his bozo parents do!
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Post by hsrose on Oct 8, 2016 1:27:54 GMT -6
I suck... or, so said the parent I talked with after the game tonight.
He's worried about his boy not getting playing time after 6 weeks. Good kid, senoir, small and slow but can jitterbug all over and make things happen. But he can't make the read on the triple and the sophomore can. In his past with his two sons he has been kicked out of games, banned from going to ball fields, threatened coaches and a team mom, and had an altercation with youth parent after a game. He is a dumb a$$ redneck hillbilly biker wanna be rock guitarist. He is the one that a parent agreement would be for, but it would do no good.
The good parents don't need an agreement, the bad ones won't honor it.
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Post by 53 on Oct 8, 2016 7:32:08 GMT -6
I don't think they're necessary. They're just something you can wave in their face as they're being an ass and on their way out.
Having the support of your administration is the key to handling these situations.
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Post by blb on Oct 8, 2016 7:42:17 GMT -6
We had a Parents' Meeting in June. If a parent had a problem, I asked them if they were at that meeting. Invariably they were not. I then told them it was their fault because if they had been there they would've known what was going on-when and why.
Also the schools I worked for had an Athletic Handbook (or similar title) that included a form student and parent had to sign-return before player could participate.
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Post by newt21 on Oct 8, 2016 9:26:20 GMT -6
We have one and I've used one every year I've been a HC (I'm @ MS level, keep this in mind). We have all parents and student-athletes sign that they understand our rules and will abide by them. It's not necessary in most situations (as has been stated before), however I have had a few situations that we've had to use it in meetings with administration and they've appreciated that we did it because it shortened the meeting significantly.
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Post by dubber on Oct 8, 2016 19:47:16 GMT -6
Parent meeting is a better idea.
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Post by rosey65 on Oct 14, 2016 5:29:41 GMT -6
Someone on here has a signature at the bottom of their posts about "hard and fast rules," something about being a lazy cop-out, or something like that. I think that applies here. Parents are going to yell. We've had very negative parents in the past, and we make it a teachable moment for the players. Parents have been invited to practices in the past, and often just that invitation was enough to shut them up.
The HC does open his pre-season parent meeting with "I understand your son is your favorite player, and everyone wants their favorite on the field. I dont have favorites. I want a good, disciplined team." He'll meet with any parent to discuss any issue, will let any parent vent about their childs playing time, but informs them up front that PT wont be negotiated.
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Post by jlenwood on Oct 14, 2016 6:25:44 GMT -6
***RANT ALERT-RANT ALERT***
Personally I think the parent/student contracts are a worthless document meant to make the HC and AD feel like they have a barrier to opposition if something goes sideways with a player/parent. If you have a parent who is going to be an a-hole, chances are you know that before the season, or off-season even starts. We all know who the jerk/idiots are, because chances are their kid is a turd as well.
I also find it funny, that so much of education and society is preaching the whole "lets be fair" and "everybody is equal" scenarios, when in fact life out in the real world away from HS is nothing but competition. I am sure that the majority of you who are teachers are all about (BOE forced) be "inclusive", yet when we get to football practice it becomes all about we have to be BETTER than the competition. I am not blaming any of you who are teachers, please don't get me wrong, I am just saying expectations these days are that everyone gets a ribbon.
To me, playing time and any arguments someone as a parent may have with the program needs to be addressed immediately. Let everyone know before the season starts that you are the person to talk to first. Our AD has a policy that if a parent calls him, his first question is "Have you talked to the coach?", if the answer is no the conversation is over. This forces the parents hand and they can't back door you. I would tell every parent before the season that if at any time during the season, something happens that they deem to be unfair or unprofessional towards their child, it needs to be documented by the parent/player and addressed no later than the next day.
If a coaching staff is indeed acting unprofessionally, they need to be dealt with. But most instances it is a parent thinking their kid is a star and not getting his shot. SO if player A is a senior who isn't as good as player B who is a sophomore, let player A know exactly what is happening. Unless you step up your performance, the better player (B) will be starting at that position. Ask the kid if he would like you to speak to his parent if he thinks their is going to be a problem, that way you head off any chance of something festering. Also, if you are making that change it better be for real, and not just I hate that kid (A).
As coaches we need to remember that the program is a product we are putting out for the people (community) we work for. We can't just do stuff and not care about whether or not anyone else gets pi$$ed. We can't let problems fester and have the opinion of "Screw'em, I'm the coach." Make solid decisions, reward hard work and performance, document any issues and have your ducks in a row, and be ready to defend and explain any issues that may come up.
99% of complainers are just jerks, and can be dealt with quickly. Be prepared for the 1% that present a real issue and handle it like a professional.
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Post by spos21ram on Oct 14, 2016 6:46:04 GMT -6
Probably not necessary. Most parents don't need one and the ones that do need one won't abide by it anyway. We can't really do anything if a parent signs one then doesn't abide by it so there's no point.
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Post by blb on Oct 14, 2016 7:15:58 GMT -6
I suspect that the percentage of parents who sign the forms without actually reading them (or handbooks, manuals, whatever) is pretty high.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2016 11:45:27 GMT -6
Our school has them as a CYA tool that covers all sports but we don't have them specifically for the football program. We are very clear with our players as to what is expected of them - as athletes, as students, and as young men. Invariably we have a parent or two each year that thinks we're morons because we don't play their kid. One of our rules is that we don't talk playing time with the parents, only the players. If parent approached me and wanted to get into it with me but I said something to the effect of, "You signed a contract that you wouldn't behave this way" I'd lose all credibility. I had an irate/hostile dad try to light me up the other day and I just said to him, "Part of my responsibility in coaching your son is to help him to be a man. Men fight their own battles. I'll talk to you about anything but playing time. If there is a discussion about playing it will be between me and your son." The dad ranted about how I don't know what I'm doing, his kid is literally the best athlete the school has ever seen (I loved that one), I'm making a mistake, etc. and I just walked away. I've coached the kid when he was a middle schooler and now that he's a high schooler. Dad always was and always will be a jackass, a piece of paper won't change that.
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Post by leighty on Oct 14, 2016 13:02:00 GMT -6
I'm not sure how much sense it makes to refuse to discuss with a parent what you're discussing with a player. Whatever is said will 100% get lost in translation.
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Post by tothehouse on Oct 14, 2016 14:27:35 GMT -6
I saw somewhere where a coach does IN HOME meetings over the summer. Coach (or solid assistant coaches) go to each player's house to discuss everything. Physical, any money that needs to be handed over, playing time, kid's projected role etc.
Now...I/we have never done this...but it could go a long way when/if an issue pops up later.
It would also be time consuming over your summer.
I just think that if every stake holder knows where you stand with their kid...and it's in their environment...that could alleviate a lot of $hit that could come up later.
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Post by jlenwood on Oct 15, 2016 15:11:45 GMT -6
I saw somewhere where a coach does IN HOME meetings over the summer. Coach (or solid assistant coaches) go to each player's house to discuss everything. Physical, any money that needs to be handed over, playing time, kid's projected role etc. Now...I/we have never done this...but it could go a long way when/if an issue pops up later. It would also be time consuming over your summer. I just think that if every stake holder knows where you stand with their kid...and it's in their environment...that could alleviate a lot of $hit that could come up later. I would be afraid of being in the wrong place at the wrong time when the parents are getting raided for selling meth! |
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