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Post by fantom on Feb 5, 2016 9:40:05 GMT -6
Reading some of these threads makes me realize what a self-important bunch we coaches are (And I'm not just talking about football coaches). A kid wants to go to the Jim Kelly camp instead of our non-mandatory team camp? Boy, he's selfish. A middle school coach who is not contractually obligated to work for the HS coach doesn't want to run the HS offense? What a jerk.
Maybe we need to take stock and stop taking ourselves so seriously.
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Post by John Knight on Feb 5, 2016 10:12:12 GMT -6
If not us who will???
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Post by olinedude on Feb 5, 2016 11:45:24 GMT -6
There is some serious truth to what you are saying, but both of those draw back to the team and program first.
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Post by coachjamesd on Feb 5, 2016 11:55:23 GMT -6
Reading some of these threads makes me realize what a self-important bunch we coaches are (And I'm not just talking about football coaches). A kid wants to go to the Jim Kelly camp instead of our non-mandatory team camp? Boy, he's selfish. A middle school coach who is not contractually obligated to work for the HS coach doesn't want to run the HS offense? What a jerk. It's easy to judge in black-and-white fashion from a distance.
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Post by fantom on Feb 5, 2016 12:22:07 GMT -6
Reading some of these threads makes me realize what a self-important bunch we coaches are (And I'm not just talking about football coaches). A kid wants to go to the Jim Kelly camp instead of our non-mandatory team camp? Boy, he's selfish. A middle school coach who is not contractually obligated to work for the HS coach doesn't want to run the HS offense? What a jerk. It's easy to judge in black-and-white fashion from a distance. I can only go by what I read here. Let me add that I'm not specifically criticizing anybody. I've felt this way for a while. Those were just two examples that happened to come to mind because they involved current threads.
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Post by John Knight on Feb 5, 2016 12:23:36 GMT -6
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Post by CanyonCoach on Feb 5, 2016 12:30:06 GMT -6
Since signing day is still in the rear view mirror, I see what we do for kids as an important part of their future. And we can't help them if they aren't prepared to be apart of what we do.
That being said, it is sometimes hard to determine when we are helping a kid or getting in the way of them making independent choices --with consequences--some bad some horrible some good some great... Some people need to fail before they can succeed and some need some confidence in their independent choices.
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Post by coachjamesd on Feb 5, 2016 14:33:07 GMT -6
It's easy to judge in black-and-white fashion from a distance. I can only go by what I read here. Let me add that I'm not specifically criticizing anybody. I've felt this way for a while. Those were just two examples that happened to come to mind because they involved current threads. haha No, I hear you entirely. What I meant was that for those examples you mentioned, I find that it's reeeaaally easy to be "black/white" for the people jumping on the "middle school coach is a jerk" or "QB is selfish" judging bandwagons (or other situations where context is stripped away). I don't like it either. People can get a bit sanctimonious sometimes.
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Post by carookie on Feb 5, 2016 16:44:17 GMT -6
Since signing day is still in the rear view mirror, I see what we do for kids as an important part of their future. And we can't help them if they aren't prepared to be apart of what we do. That being said, it is sometimes hard to determine when we are helping a kid or getting in the way of them making independent choices --with consequences--some bad some horrible some good some great... Some people need to fail before they can succeed and some need some confidence in their independent choices. This lends itself to a phenomenon I have seen growing the past couple years Helicopter Coaches They take 3.5 hours for practice 5 days a week during the season, are constantly texting and sending reminds to players, calling them out of class to chat multiple times a day, calling meetings during lunch, organizing team functions during the week to help keep tabs on them. I'll stop before I get on a rant; but I think this coincides with the Self-Important idea of the OP.
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Post by larrymoe on Feb 8, 2016 12:01:00 GMT -6
I've always said this- we coach a stupid game to HS kids who over half of whom don't care if you win or lose on Friday and that no one is going to care about in 5 years. We need to stop acting like we're curing cancer every single day.
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Post by hunhdisciple on Feb 8, 2016 12:12:23 GMT -6
There are a lot of things people have said on here that I don't agree with and simply don't understand.
I dont know if this is part of self-importance or not, but I always like being available to players. And staying in contact with the kids who need it.
It's probably pretty much a given here, that all of us have been positively impacted by a coach at some point in our lives. I think some of that self-importance comes from trying to give that to a current player. But, that tends to lend itself to being full of ourselves and having a tendency to be over bearing.
Most of the time, we aren't important. Not at all. But, for the kid who saw his father get shot and then proceeded to bounce around foster care for years, his "thanks coach" and smile allows me to be as full of myself as I want. And I'm fine with that, really. I might hover and I might tens to be selfish with what I want for a kid, and when it pays off for one, that's all I need.
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Post by wingtol on Feb 8, 2016 13:43:38 GMT -6
I've always said this- we coach a stupid game to HS kids who over half of whom don't care if you win or lose on Friday and that no one is going to care about in 5 years. We need to stop acting like we're curing cancer every single day. Think I read it on here and it has stuck with me "Always remember that no player on your team or any team takes the game as serious as we do as coaches" As far as the other post I don't think Self-importance has anything to do with being a role model or father figure to a kid. Think the OP was going more in the direction of how we see the game and commitment to the team ie the kid not going to a non mandatory team camp in the summer and people calling for the kid to be benched because of it. More like it's a game played by teen age boys and sometimes we need to keep that in perspective.
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Post by fantom on Feb 8, 2016 13:46:24 GMT -6
Being the OP I can verify that.
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Post by jgordon1 on Feb 8, 2016 14:36:04 GMT -6
I've always said this- we coach a stupid game to HS kids who over half of whom don't care if you win or lose on Friday and that no one is going to care about in 5 years. We need to stop acting like we're curing cancer every single day. Think I read it on here and it has stuck with me "Always remember that no player on your team or any team takes the game as serious as we do as coaches" As far as the other post I don't think Self-importance has anything to do with being a role model or father figure to a kid. Think the OP was going more in the direction of how we see the game and commitment to the team ie the kid not going to a non mandatory team camp in the summer and people calling for the kid to be benched because of it. More like it's a game played by teen age boys and sometimes we need to keep that in perspective. It is a game played by teenage boys.....who grow up to be men...I think most kids, when they get older, probably wish they did more when they were in hs..I do...its called experience...it's too bad that youth is wasted on the young Would you want to be Benjamin Button?
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Post by windigo on Feb 8, 2016 14:47:41 GMT -6
I don't let the self important guys get to me because I know full well that I'm always right.
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Post by carookie on Feb 8, 2016 15:25:50 GMT -6
There are a lot of things people have said on here that I don't agree with and simply don't understand. I dont know if this is part of self-importance or not, but I always like being available to players. And staying in contact with the kids who need it. It's probably pretty much a given here, that all of us have been positively impacted by a coach at some point in our lives. I think some of that self-importance comes from trying to give that to a current player. But, that tends to lend itself to being full of ourselves and having a tendency to be over bearing. Most of the time, we aren't important. Not at all. But, for the kid who saw his father get shot and then proceeded to bounce around foster care for years, his "thanks coach" and smile allows me to be as full of myself as I want. And I'm fine with that, really. I might hover and I might tens to be selfish with what I want for a kid, and when it pays off for one, that's all I need. I get what you are writing, and respect what you do and offer. I am not calling coaches who are available for their players helicopters. I am calling those that mandate that time. Do we really need our kids in the classroom at 2:30 for a 7:30 kickoff? For certain it is great to be available at 2:30, but to mandate seems a bit helicopterish to me. I mean they do have HW, families, etc. And if they don't, then we are available for them.
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Post by lochness on Feb 8, 2016 16:47:00 GMT -6
It's a "keeping up with the Jonses" effect for coaches sometimes. You see these documentaries about High School football and "coaches changing lives" or "working 90 hours per week" and you start to think that this is what you need to do, or you aren't any good at your job. In some areas, that unfortunately IS what you need to do, I guess.
I think that we definitely can take ourselves too seriously, but I think the ultra-competitive side of football coaches comes into play here too...and we start to think that we are falling behind and need to "up our game" when we see other guys doing this stuff. It gets to be very unhealthy. Our guys love football and they are dedicated...but I'm not going to be a nazi and force them all to go to every workout or skip a camp to be at our event or whatever. I get to judge them and grow them from August 15 through the end of the season. Everything else is cake. If I call a meeting or want a group discussion, and not everybody is responsive, that's their prerogative. Yes it disappoints me, but these are kids and they aren't always going to come to something you think is important or critical.
I've gotten so much happier and more effective the more I've let some of this go. I'm not saying I don't meet with the kids, wish my feeders ran my stuff, and push the weight room like crazy. What I'm saying is that I realize that it's not the end of the world if that stuff doesn't pan out or meet my expectations, and I'm not going to hold a grudge or act the fool if/when it doesn't. We're still going to line up a team each fall and play football. We're going to do our best to teach our kids the game and about responsibility, team and commitment, but not everyone is going to get it or even care. Oh well, not the end of the world. If I make one kid (just ONE) a better man, it was worth it.
But, I do think that ALL sports have gotten a bit ridiculous. I loved football and it made me a better human being than I ever had a chance of becoming on my own...and our coaches were never in our faces with HALF of the foolishness we do now. At then end of the day, we need to really analyze the "return" on some of this stuff we do. I think you'd find (again, in many cases, not all) that it just isn't worth all that anguish and frustration. The kids just want to play and have a good time with you and their buddies. We're much better when we take a deep breath and realize that.
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Post by wingtol on Feb 8, 2016 17:20:24 GMT -6
It's a "keeping up with the Jonses" effect for coaches sometimes. You see these documentaries about High School football and "coaches changing lives" or "working 90 hours per week" and you start to think that this is what you need to do, or you aren't any good at your job. In some areas, that unfortunately IS what you need to do, I guess. I think that we definitely can take ourselves too seriously, but I think the ultra-competitive side of football coaches comes into play here too...and we start to think that we are falling behind and need to "up our game" when we see other guys doing this stuff. It gets to be very unhealthy. Our guys love football and they are dedicated...but I'm not going to be a nazi and force them all to go to every workout or skip a camp to be at our event or whatever. I get to judge them and grow them from August 15 through the end of the season. Everything else is cake. If I call a meeting or want a group discussion, and not everybody is responsive, that's their prerogative. Yes it disappoints me, but these are kids and they aren't always going to come to something you think is important or critical. I've gotten so much happier and more effective the more I've let some of this go. I'm not saying I don't meet with the kids, wish my feeders ran my stuff, and push the weight room like crazy. What I'm saying is that I realize that it's not the end of the world if that stuff doesn't pan out or meet my expectations, and I'm not going to hold a grudge or act the fool if/when it doesn't. We're still going to line up a team each fall and play football. We're going to do our best to teach our kids the game and about responsibility, team and commitment, but not everyone is going to get it or even care. Oh well, not the end of the world. If I make one kid (just ONE) a better man, it was worth it. But, I do think that ALL sports have gotten a bit ridiculous. I loved football and it made me a better human being than I ever had a chance of becoming on my own...and our coaches were never in our faces with HALF of the foolishness we do now. At then end of the day, we need to really analyze the "return" on some of this stuff we do. I think you'd find (again, in many cases, not all) that it just isn't worth all that anguish and frustration. The kids just want to play and have a good time with you and their buddies. We're much better when we take a deep breath and realize that. Amen and hallelujah!!!
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Post by fantom on Feb 8, 2016 17:29:43 GMT -6
It's a "keeping up with the Jonses" effect for coaches sometimes. You see these documentaries about High School football and "coaches changing lives" or "working 90 hours per week" and you start to think that this is what you need to do, or you aren't any good at your job. In some areas, that unfortunately IS what you need to do, I guess. I think that we definitely can take ourselves too seriously, but I think the ultra-competitive side of football coaches comes into play here too...and we start to think that we are falling behind and need to "up our game" when we see other guys doing this stuff. It gets to be very unhealthy. Our guys love football and they are dedicated...but I'm not going to be a nazi and force them all to go to every workout or skip a camp to be at our event or whatever. I get to judge them and grow them from August 15 through the end of the season. Everything else is cake. If I call a meeting or want a group discussion, and not everybody is responsive, that's their prerogative. Yes it disappoints me, but these are kids and they aren't always going to come to something you think is important or critical. I've gotten so much happier and more effective the more I've let some of this go. I'm not saying I don't meet with the kids, wish my feeders ran my stuff, and push the weight room like crazy. What I'm saying is that I realize that it's not the end of the world if that stuff doesn't pan out or meet my expectations, and I'm not going to hold a grudge or act the fool if/when it doesn't. We're still going to line up a team each fall and play football. We're going to do our best to teach our kids the game and about responsibility, team and commitment, but not everyone is going to get it or even care. Oh well, not the end of the world. If I make one kid (just ONE) a better man, it was worth it. But, I do think that ALL sports have gotten a bit ridiculous. I loved football and it made me a better human being than I ever had a chance of becoming on my own...and our coaches were never in our faces with HALF of the foolishness we do now. At then end of the day, we need to really analyze the "return" on some of this stuff we do. I think you'd find (again, in many cases, not all) that it just isn't worth all that anguish and frustration. The kids just want to play and have a good time with you and their buddies. We're much better when we take a deep breath and realize that. We're a bunch of Type A's. I don't mean to criticize because I've done it, we probably all have, taking things more seriously than they need to be.
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Post by windigo on Feb 8, 2016 17:39:28 GMT -6
It's a "keeping up with the Jonses" effect for coaches sometimes. You see these documentaries about High School football and "coaches changing lives" or "working 90 hours per week" and you start to think that this is what you need to do, or you aren't any good at your job. In some areas, that unfortunately IS what you need to do, I guess. What I always tell coaches is to do a simple experiment. Write down all the ideas you had after 10:00pm that you implemented in the game-plan. Now rate how those ideas played out on game-day.
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Post by funkfriss on Feb 9, 2016 10:06:39 GMT -6
It's a "keeping up with the Jonses" effect for coaches sometimes. You see these documentaries about High School football and "coaches changing lives" or "working 90 hours per week" and you start to think that this is what you need to do, or you aren't any good at your job. In some areas, that unfortunately IS what you need to do, I guess. I think that we definitely can take ourselves too seriously, but I think the ultra-competitive side of football coaches comes into play here too...and we start to think that we are falling behind and need to "up our game" when we see other guys doing this stuff. It gets to be very unhealthy. Our guys love football and they are dedicated...but I'm not going to be a nazi and force them all to go to every workout or skip a camp to be at our event or whatever. I get to judge them and grow them from August 15 through the end of the season. Everything else is cake. If I call a meeting or want a group discussion, and not everybody is responsive, that's their prerogative. Yes it disappoints me, but these are kids and they aren't always going to come to something you think is important or critical. I've gotten so much happier and more effective the more I've let some of this go. I'm not saying I don't meet with the kids, wish my feeders ran my stuff, and push the weight room like crazy. What I'm saying is that I realize that it's not the end of the world if that stuff doesn't pan out or meet my expectations, and I'm not going to hold a grudge or act the fool if/when it doesn't. We're still going to line up a team each fall and play football. We're going to do our best to teach our kids the game and about responsibility, team and commitment, but not everyone is going to get it or even care. Oh well, not the end of the world. If I make one kid (just ONE) a better man, it was worth it. But, I do think that ALL sports have gotten a bit ridiculous. I loved football and it made me a better human being than I ever had a chance of becoming on my own...and our coaches were never in our faces with HALF of the foolishness we do now. At then end of the day, we need to really analyze the "return" on some of this stuff we do. I think you'd find (again, in many cases, not all) that it just isn't worth all that anguish and frustration. The kids just want to play and have a good time with you and their buddies. We're much better when we take a deep breath and realize that. Had a parent tell me this year I didn't motivate the team enough before the games and I needed to pump them up. Looked the parent in the eyes and said, "If I need to give some Coach Carter speech to get you ready to play then we don't stand a chance." But I think this is what is expected by 90% of people....
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Post by coachd5085 on Feb 9, 2016 10:18:02 GMT -6
It's a "keeping up with the Jonses" effect for coaches sometimes. You see these documentaries about High School football and "coaches changing lives" or "working 90 hours per week" and you start to think that this is what you need to do, or you aren't any good at your job. In some areas, that unfortunately IS what you need to do, I guess. I think that we definitely can take ourselves too seriously, but I think the ultra-competitive side of football coaches comes into play here too...and we start to think that we are falling behind and need to "up our game" when we see other guys doing this stuff. It gets to be very unhealthy. Our guys love football and they are dedicated...but I'm not going to be a nazi and force them all to go to every workout or skip a camp to be at our event or whatever. I get to judge them and grow them from August 15 through the end of the season. Everything else is cake. If I call a meeting or want a group discussion, and not everybody is responsive, that's their prerogative. Yes it disappoints me, but these are kids and they aren't always going to come to something you think is important or critical. I've gotten so much happier and more effective the more I've let some of this go. I'm not saying I don't meet with the kids, wish my feeders ran my stuff, and push the weight room like crazy. What I'm saying is that I realize that it's not the end of the world if that stuff doesn't pan out or meet my expectations, and I'm not going to hold a grudge or act the fool if/when it doesn't. We're still going to line up a team each fall and play football. We're going to do our best to teach our kids the game and about responsibility, team and commitment, but not everyone is going to get it or even care. Oh well, not the end of the world. If I make one kid (just ONE) a better man, it was worth it. But, I do think that ALL sports have gotten a bit ridiculous. I loved football and it made me a better human being than I ever had a chance of becoming on my own...and our coaches were never in our faces with HALF of the foolishness we do now. At then end of the day, we need to really analyze the "return" on some of this stuff we do. I think you'd find (again, in many cases, not all) that it just isn't worth all that anguish and frustration. The kids just want to play and have a good time with you and their buddies. We're much better when we take a deep breath and realize that. Had a parent tell me this year I didn't motivate the team enough before the games and I needed to pump them up. Looked the parent in the eyes and said, "If I need to give some Coach Carter speech to get you ready to play then we don't stand a chance." But I think this is what is expected by 90% of people.... Yep.. that is the somewhat crappy part of HS (and college) sports. You might be there for 20+ years, but for the kid and their family, it is a very short ride. They have no clue what it REALLY is about, but they cling religiously to their own preconceived notions .
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