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Post by rwb32497 on Nov 18, 2015 7:33:38 GMT -6
Here in my state, if you play on Thursday nights (JV) you can not even dress on Friday nights. This is the first year we have had to deal with this rule. During our last regular season our starting QB went down in the 1st quarter. We had to finish the game with two kids that have never taken a snap at QB. We are getting some deserved heat for not having a backup ready. I am the DC so I had no say in doing this.
Now the playoffs are here and we have our varsity starter practicing, but we are not sure if he is 100%. We have pulled our JV QB up who is a pretty good player. He has a chance to be special the next two years for us. His parents and he have sent two text messages telling the OC he is not playing or traveling this week unless he is the starter. Obviously, we want to say screw you then! But in reality we need a 2nd QB headed into this game. This kid is capable of getting the job done if we had to go with him. We just received this news yesterday after he has been splitting reps for the last two weeks in practice. This kid and his parents are really screwing us. I don't understand why a kid or parent think they can us an ultimatum. This really burns me up. I never seen this coming from this kid. From my understanding he has the kind of parents that no one wants to deal with. HC, OC, QB coach and myself all have different opinions on what we should do.
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Post by coachfloyd on Nov 18, 2015 7:40:57 GMT -6
They don't get to dictate who plays and who doesn't. They can take his tail home everyday and you should only sleep 8-10 hours every night because you are worrying about it so much.
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Post by rwb32497 on Nov 18, 2015 8:06:24 GMT -6
Coachfloyd I agree. The biggest issue is that we find this out 2 days before a playoff game. We could've been preparing someone else for this role. Does the parent not understand they are not screwing me as a coach as bad as they are hurting all the kids teammates by doing this. The parent is raising their kid with a sense of entitlement that is not deserved.
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Post by poundtherock1 on Nov 18, 2015 8:07:39 GMT -6
I have mixed feelings about stuff like this, and probably am in no place to tell you what to do, but at the end of the day it's about the program. Build your program and play the kids that want to be a part of it. To me that's the unselfish, hard workers that don't care what their role is. I'd cut that kid loose and say see you next year.
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Post by natenator on Nov 18, 2015 8:10:54 GMT -6
I have mixed feelings about stuff like this, and probably am in no place to tell you what to do, but at the end of the day it's about the program. Build your program and play the kids that want to be a part of it. To me that's the unselfish, hard workers that don't care what their role is. I'd cut that kid loose and say see you next year. This. I'll be damned if the inmates are going to run for asylum. Cutting the kid will send a bigger message that no player/family will hold a team hostage ND that the team comes before self |
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Post by blb on Nov 18, 2015 8:16:56 GMT -6
If it's me, he's not travelling. Or practicing any more this year.
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Post by jasper912 on Nov 18, 2015 8:20:17 GMT -6
I would call the parents and the kid in for a meeting and just tell them how it is.
Tell them that he is your future and you are excited about the next 2 years with him being the man on Varsity. Let them know that they can not dictate who starts and who doesn't. Sell them on the fact that regardless of whether he plays or not, that this is a big week for him in terms of growth and maturity for the future. Even if he doesn't start, he needs to prepare like the starter as the #1 guy could go down any play.
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Post by casec11 on Nov 18, 2015 9:26:54 GMT -6
I would call the parents and the kid in for a meeting and just tell them how it is. Tell them that he is your future and you are excited about the next 2 years with him being the man on Varsity. Let them know that they can not dictate who starts and who doesn't. Sell them on the fact that regardless of whether he plays or not, that this is a big week for him in terms of growth and maturity for the future. Even if he doesn't start, he needs to prepare like the starter as the #1 guy could go down any play. This. I would also ad that the decision is final if they don't like the decision the door is available, the programs integrity will not be compromised because a players parents don't get it their way. Not sure how the three of you coaches all differ on opinions on a mater like that, unless you differ on who should start due to opinion of performance (who gives you the best chance to win). |
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Post by CS on Nov 18, 2015 9:53:08 GMT -6
I would call the parents and the kid in for a meeting and just tell them how it is. Tell them that he is your future and you are excited about the next 2 years with him being the man on Varsity. Let them know that they can not dictate who starts and who doesn't. Sell them on the fact that regardless of whether he plays or not, that this is a big week for him in terms of growth and maturity for the future. Even if he doesn't start, he needs to prepare like the starter as the #1 guy could go down any play. Agreed. Even if you were talking about starting this kid I would have a word with the parents first so they don't think it was because of them. Could be a real fire starter for future problems. |
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Post by blb on Nov 18, 2015 9:57:13 GMT -6
Why tell the young man and-or his parents he will be "the man" the next two years?
I.e. will you really guarantee-just hand him the Varsity QB job without any competition?
Appears a sense of unearned entitlement is at root of problem already.
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Post by windigo on Nov 18, 2015 10:43:44 GMT -6
Has the kid done anything wrong? From what you have said I see nothing. Don't punish the kid because he has stupid parents. Just coach the game as you would any other. If the doesn't show up cut him from the playoff roster. I would not have a meeting with the parents. Having a meeting is still meeting these trolls halfway. Don't reward them for their bad behavior by giving them one on one time with you. That will only make the situation worse. You have one on ones with parents when the kid is having problems in school or on the team, or if grandma died and they need to miss practice to go to a funeral. You do not give individual time to parents demanding playing time. Trust me you start giving people like this individual attention they are going to fill up your inbox.
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Post by joelee on Nov 18, 2015 10:48:52 GMT -6
It will be something like this that makes me quit coaching.
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Post by rwb32497 on Nov 18, 2015 11:06:16 GMT -6
I wanna cut the kid loose also, at least for this season and make him earn it all off season. Our HC decided to not even respond and give the player of the parent any attention with the matter. He said we will go practice and play the game with whoever gets on the bus Friday.
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Post by fantom on Nov 18, 2015 11:14:59 GMT -6
I wanna cut the kid loose also, at least for this season and make him earn it all off season. Our HC decided to not even respond and give the player of the parent any attention with the matter. He said we will go practice and play the game with whoever gets on the bus Friday. I agree with the HC. BUT, you now have to decide whether to give the kid reps as the backup. |
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Post by blb on Nov 18, 2015 11:23:44 GMT -6
Glad I never learned to text-don't read them.
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Post by windigo on Nov 18, 2015 11:36:03 GMT -6
I wanna cut the kid loose also, at least for this season and make him earn it all off season. Our HC decided to not even respond and give the player of the parent any attention with the matter. He said we will go practice and play the game with whoever gets on the bus Friday. Good decision by your HC. Don't treat it differently than any other situation. |
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Post by larrymoe on Nov 18, 2015 11:39:44 GMT -6
Start him. For one play and then put him on the bench.
I like that because it's getting your way and basically flipping off his parents.
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Post by jasper912 on Nov 18, 2015 12:24:25 GMT -6
I would meet with them because my door is always open to parents with concerns. My only thing is make an appointment, I will not speak with you right after a game when people are most likely to still be upset.
You can be stern and professional at the same time. Sometimes a parent (or person in general) just needs to know where you're coming from.
I think to many coaches get this pompous attitude and this my way or the highway type of attitude. In the end, it is my way or the highway, but no reason to be a jerk about it.
I'm young so who knows, I might change my ways over the course of my career but that's my .02
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Post by gibbs72 on Nov 18, 2015 12:56:27 GMT -6
Start him. For one play and then put him on the bench. I like that because it's getting your way and basically flipping off his parents. Man, this was my gut reaction too. |
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Post by blb on Nov 18, 2015 13:02:35 GMT -6
Sometimes in situation like this kid doesn't even know about parent's communication with coach and is embarrassed by it.
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Post by dubber on Nov 18, 2015 15:18:52 GMT -6
Did the kid send a text with an ultimatum?
If so, I would call him into the office and explain what his role for the team is this week.....he either accepts it, or doesn't.
I would not interact with the parents unless they request a face to face. If they send another text, then you tell them to come in if they want to talk.
I disagree with the kick the kid off the team talk.....if I kicked every kid off my team who was either a dumba$$ or had dumba$$ parents, we would be playing 8 man. |
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Post by freezeoption on Nov 18, 2015 19:48:44 GMT -6
I think he said the kid knew, I don't mind a meeting, but it sounds like they already made up their mind, I would do like the hc if he shows great, if not fine, I would not say anything about next year because with a family like that they may pull him for anything, I've seen many dumas, but this one takes the cake,
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Post by mrjvi on Nov 19, 2015 6:00:14 GMT -6
If the kid knows about this, cut him loose. If he doesn't, work your rapport with the kid. If he is embarrassed by his parents, make the decision that's best for him AND the team. If you've "got the kid" you've got the parents , as one old coach once told me. If it all gets too ugly any way, tell him it's unfortunate but cut him loose. I had one parent about 7 years ago tell me he wanted his kid to get at least 25 carries each game the next season if he played for me or he was bringing him elsewhere. He was a great kid with an idiot father. I told him that in the double wing everyone gets lots of carries and if he's doing well, he will help the TEAM. Not good enough for him and they left. We had an awesome season the next year.
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Post by rwb32497 on Nov 19, 2015 6:30:24 GMT -6
Update: Yesterday, we seen the kid was getting dressed for practice. We got onto the field and started he he never showed up. One of our kids told us that that the QB's parents showed up and told him to get in the car he wasn't playing unless he was starting. HC gets a hold of the parents and brings them in for a sit down during practice.
It is our understanding that this issue is more with the parents than with the kid. Parents kind of tried to make it a black white issue, which makes no sense with our schools history and demographic. Our last two state championship teams fielded a black QB. These parents are going to affect this kid in a negative way if they don't wake up soon.
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Post by tim914790 on Nov 19, 2015 6:40:34 GMT -6
If he is going to quit with this tiny bit of adversity just imagine how quick he will quit or point the finger when things do not go well in a game next year when he is "The Man".
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Post by bigmoot on Nov 19, 2015 7:33:12 GMT -6
addition by subtraction...
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Post by jasper912 on Nov 19, 2015 7:37:29 GMT -6
If he is going to quit with this tiny bit of adversity just imagine how quick he will quit or point the finger when things do not go well in a game next year when he is "The Man". He he isn't quitting. It's his parents. Tough situation ion for sure. |
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Post by John Knight on Nov 19, 2015 8:08:44 GMT -6
I would have fired a text right back, THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS. If he wants to play Friday, practice is at 3:30, I decide who starts at all positions on offense.
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Post by coachphillip on Nov 19, 2015 8:29:08 GMT -6
My initial reaction, which was verified by coach just now, is that his parents are the source of the issue. It's unfortunate when parents feel the urge to assert themselves in games played by children lol. I think your coach did the right thing. Do you guys have player contracts that need to be signed at the beginning of the year by both player and parent?
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Post by dubber on Nov 19, 2015 12:07:15 GMT -6
I would never cut a player because of his parents.
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