Do you talk kids out of quitting?

Speak to him on the phone, re-ask him why he wants to quit, then ask him how long he's thought about it. I'd tell him how much you like him as a person, enjoy his presence and how much the staff and players have respect for him.

I will say though my gut feel is that he has thought it through. The kids who want to quit that are intelligent, loyal and honest usually do. Give him some time off for the summer then try him again in the fall.

You have to let him go if he doesn't want to be there. Football is NOT a sport you can play with your heart half in. I don't know the kid but by your description he sounds like a guy that has probably thought through what he wants to get out of his HS experience and if football isn't it then so be it, the game isn't for every one. My advise is talk to him about his other plans for his newfound free time, other interests off the football field and try to make sure he's making the decisions for the right reasons for HIM.

A personal anecdote. I quit football in the offseason after my 2nd year in university. One of the hardest decisions I've made but in the end it was the right one for me. The game I loved had become more like a job and I wasn't having fun, not even winning was fun at that point. I told my HC and he really made me feel bad about it, told me I would regret it, making a mistake, letting him down, teammates down etc and I always resented him a bit for that. I got the impression from how he approached it he only cared about his football team and not about me and what I wanted. My DC on the other hand was 100% supportive on my decision, talked to me about my other plans in life, life after football etc and was generally really supportive or me as a person and not just me as a football player, and that went a long, long way in my book.

I push to get a good reason for their wanting to quit. Some kids just don't like the game anymore. I was a very good wrestler growing up (won several AAU/USAW state titles) but I got tired of the sport so I quit. It just wasn't enjoyable for me anymore so I left the sport and hit the weights more. My last year, I was only doing it to make me a better football player and I found other ways to do that.

But, I do want to get an honest answer out of the kids because there are times when there's something serious going on. For example, in my last school, I was the athletic director and we had three girls quit basketball and volleyball. All three just said they weren't having fun. Our coaches couldn't be bothered to find out what was going on so I started asking questions. I had heard rumors there was some bad behavior going on. It came out that one of the girls was being bullied continually by a little clique within the team and the HCs weren't doing anything about it. Either way, I rained hell down on the coaches, fired two of them, and had enough information to bring the cops in to have a little chat with our "Mean Girls" clique and their parents. It honestly would have been easy for me to write it off because the girl that was being bullied isn't exactly a good model of proper behavior herself. She's immature and hard to work with as a coach. BUT, I had irrefutable evidence that she was being singled out and harassed and I wouldn't have gotten said evidence if I didn't ask questions.

If he texted you about then I think hes looking for someone to talk him out of quitting. I had one of our QBs quit last week. He saw the writing on the wall but we had already talked to him about moving to help us somewhere else. I sent him a text yesterday just telling him that I think hes making a mistake. Nobody ever says "Man I sure am glad I quit." Its almost always regretted. Nobody regrets sticking it out. I believe it offers something to fall back on later. When you practice sticking things out, then it carries over to your life in general. If you practice quitting things, then you get good at doing that. Its about becoming a man. I think about the Boys of Fall song. Playing high school football is special. My own son won't get to play because of a birth defect and he loves football. He can play anything else but football. So I see this from a different angle than most.

I called him and talked to him. He said he's got some stuff going on at home and that getting a ride back from practice is going to be a problem. It's mainly about him no longer having as much fun as he used to. Got into a little falling out over his girlfriend with the dudes he hangs out with on the team. I told him to practice today and tomorrow. We have next week off. Take that time to recharge and focus on what it was that made him happy playing in the first place. If he can see himself recapturing a bit of that, I'll drive him home everyday and we can put in some work and gain some valuable life lessons. If he can't, then we shake hands and I continue to support him as much as he's willing to let me. I told him that he's not an X or an O to me. He's an amazing person and I will continue to support him as a person. If he wants to be the best trombone player in the world then all he has to do is hit me up when the band plays and I'll be there with my body painted and foam finger rocking.

Thanks for the direction, men. I appreciate this board immensely.

P.S. Fantom, you're telling me brother! I gotta find time next week to do much of what I told this young man to do. Week off would serve us all well.

The Coach Phillip that I know from this board, probably knew all along how to handle this situation.  Like countless coaches have done before (including myself), we come on this board to get some affirmation, confidence, or insight on what our gut is already telling us.

You handled this well.  If the words you spoke to him are any indication of how (and who) you are as a person, any kid would be lucky to have you as a coach. 

To me, that is the unfortunate part of any player walking away from a program where there are good men in place.  He typifies the kid who needs a sports team more than sports team needs him.  I hope, for his sake, he returns. 

Get some rest.  Recharge.  Get back to the grind, man.

Well done coach.

Almost all kids live in the moment.... Often times kids quit for things that have nothing to do with the game... Frankly, if I had a kid come to me and say he was going to quit on June 24th my reaction would be "quit what" mandatory practice doesn't start for us until August. So if he wants to quit training we can talk about that but ultimately we haven't started football so we can quit something we haven't started. My goal in my conversation with the young man would be to encourage him to continue to train nothing more nothing less if he doesn't want to play come August you let him know you would love for him to come out the following year.

I had a boy this year who is a good athlete who came to me in March and said he wasn't going to play, I responded why are you telling me this right now he said because he wanted to focus on baseball. Well yeah it is baseball season that should be his first focus. I called him at the start of summer and met with him and said, hey I don't know if your gonna play or not and I don't really care what you decide but you need to train for your other sports and if you decide to play you will need this work if you decide not to it won't hurt you to have some workouts with your buddies. Thus far he has missed 2 workouts and my discussion with him is August 1st let me know if you want to play or not and I won't try and talk you into if you don't want to because I want kids who are all in when it comes the fall. He has already told his buddies he plans to play but we will see.

Bottom line, MOST kids aren't like US as coaches and too many of US expect the KIDS to be as passionate we are wrong in this. This is why I feel we are losing participation numbers and we have to change this mindset.

Football is a sport, that is hard that teaches discipline and structure however, it doesn't need to be a burden on a kid, coach, or staff on June 24th IMO.

Several great responses already. I think you owe it to the kid, the team, and your program to at least talk to any player in regards to why they want to quit. And, depending on that answer(s), is when you try to talk him out of it or wish him well in other pursuits.