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Post by Defcord on Feb 20, 2015 8:29:27 GMT -6
As a coach how do you handle a bully at practice/game?
As a parent how do you address a bullying situation when your child is on a team?
Here is my situation. My son plays in a soccer league. 6-8. He is six but he is above average size so he fits in just fine. There is an 8 year old that bullies some of the kids on the team (not my kid). He punches them and he tackles them and just little douche moves.
My son asked me what he should do if this kid punches him. I told him the first time he should tell the coach (trying to do the right thing). I also told him if there is a second time after telling the coach that he should punch the kid in the nose as hard as he can.
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Post by bluboy on Feb 20, 2015 10:25:57 GMT -6
Same advice I gave my son when he was that age. I also told him to do the same thing if anyone tried to bully his younger sister.
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Post by larrymoe on Feb 20, 2015 10:42:59 GMT -6
You don't start a fight, but you sure as hell finish it.
The advice my dad gave me and the advice I give my kids.
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Post by 33coach on Feb 20, 2015 10:44:16 GMT -6
You gotta defend yourself....but be prepared for the consequences....
Most youth leagues will suspend/remove anyone who fights, whether its in defense or not.
Thats hard to explain to a 6 year old...but its something to think about.
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Post by RoCro23 on Feb 20, 2015 13:01:05 GMT -6
Great question. My youngest is in 7th grade and one of the biggest students in his grade. Not the most athletic. So he's not likely to run down the little ones that like to pick on him. In our district, they treat both parties the same. If you fight, or fight back, there is no distinction. He is good about talking to my wife and is pretty mature for his age. The first time I talked to the coach. The next time I talked to the Asst. Principal "off the record" because we go to church together. The last time I emailed the teacher, Asst. Principal, and the Principal. Right after the email, like, the next day after receiving an email that it had been "handled", my wife was asked to stay after school and meet with the Asst. Principal because my son had been pushing another student. He had been because one of the little "punks" had been antagonizing him right behind the same Asst. Principal. I know it's a middle school thing. He doesn't have a problem standing up for himself. It's trying to walk the fine line between doing so and not getting caught up in all the drama. Thanks for the VENT!
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Post by larrymoe on Feb 20, 2015 13:14:43 GMT -6
In our district, they treat both parties the same. If you fight, or fight back, there is no distinction. Aaaaand this is why we're screwed. |
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Post by RoCro23 on Feb 20, 2015 13:35:23 GMT -6
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Post by cqmiller on Feb 20, 2015 13:45:17 GMT -6
My dad used to always ask me these two questions...
1) Did you start it? (better not say yes)
2) Did you end it? (better say yes)
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Post by PIGSKIN11 on Feb 20, 2015 14:08:48 GMT -6
1st time - take the high road
2nd time - take any road necessary
let them know you are a little crazy and they might lay off haha
we all grew up the same it sounds...
My dad's rules were the same as above and mine to my son are the same...
The issue is my wife teaches at my kids school - so she worries about that factor...
in a nutshell:
1st time - defend yourself verbally and warn offender that if he does it again things will escalate (dont touch me again - if you do I will be forced to defend myself)
2nd time - you do what you need to do - I will back him always as long as he stops at the right moment (defend yourself - don't fight just to fight)
rule of kin - if it involves your little sister - there are no rules... haha
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Post by mrjvi on Feb 20, 2015 17:20:02 GMT -6
My father told me the same. I never got in trouble for the few times it happened even though at that time I was a pip squeak who had trouble finishing it. I always had trouble with the guy who sucked up to them through fear. Many told me "He's a survivor" I thought, "no, he's a gutless pu**y".
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Post by mrjvi on Feb 20, 2015 17:21:19 GMT -6
My father was the school superintendent also. I tended to be a target.
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Post by John Knight on Feb 20, 2015 18:41:39 GMT -6
Time to have a talk with the coach, he either handles this or you go to the league president. The kid should be gone, Bully behavior is not to be tolerated and the days of dealing with it like a real man are gone!
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Post by John Knight on Feb 20, 2015 21:36:07 GMT -6
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Post by jlenwood on Feb 21, 2015 8:39:35 GMT -6
The coach needs to take care of this issue right now. If it didn't, pull your kid, there are worse things in lief than not being able to play 6-8 soccer.
The best "take care of a bully" story from my time at the previous school was a kid who was a very mild mannered dude and a junior I think, never got into trouble or anything like that. His girlfriend was having an issue with a turd in her gym class. There was a kid, from a long line of turds, who was always mouthing off and what not, and the mild kid says to leave her alone. Well, one day the punk pushes her down during dodge ball or whatever they were doing.
After the class the punk is walking down the hall, right by the principals office as a matter of fact, and the mild kid walks up and says did you punch so and so. The punk kind of laughs and says whatever. The ensuing beat down was one of those "hair-blood and teeth flying" beat downs that you loved to watch when you were in school. As per policy the kid got suspended, but when the principal was telling him how wrong he was and all that BS, the kid interrupted and said "I was told you don't hit a female, I just wanted him to get that message".
The bullies parents freaked out but eventually pulled their kid from school. Great service to all from the good kid.
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