|
Post by coachmonkey on Jan 19, 2015 21:53:35 GMT -6
Just wanted to share an encounter that happened today. I teach in the middle school, but coach varsity. I feel this applies to all students. We had a meeting for a young gentleman today (7th Grade) who hasn't been turning in a lot of work and been getting into some trouble. During the meeting they were talking about possible causes. The boy looks at his parents and said "Mr. Coachmonkey (used my real name) is the only person in this school who has ever told me he is proud of me."
My point, don't ever hold back genuine compliments from students. They may be more powerful than you ever realize. I tell lots of students I am proud of them. I don't remember once telling this boy that, but he definitely remembers. Positivity is contagious, so is negativity.
|
|
|
Post by coachmonkey on Jan 20, 2015 7:56:39 GMT -6
I'm proud of you Coach Monkey. Can't wait to let my parents know.
|
|
|
Post by natenator on Jan 20, 2015 8:34:52 GMT -6
I have a good friend who started a math tutoring company that was asked by the principal of a school,as he was starting up, If he could help out a girl in grade 6 that was having trouble.
To say she was having trouble was an understatement as she could not count by 2's. All her life she'd been told she was dumb or stupid. My friend told her otherwise. That she was smart and brilliant and could do anything she set her mind to. With his help she entered enriched math by grade 10 and was doing math at 1-2 grade levels above her peers.
People - kids especially - need encouragement and for others to believe in them.
Good on you for being a positive influence in this boy's life.
|
|
|
Post by silkyice on Jan 20, 2015 8:45:41 GMT -6
I'm proud of you Coach Monkey. Can't wait to let my parents know. So we went from feel good, to cheesy, to smart a$$ in record time on this thread. LOL
|
|
|
Post by coachphillip on Jan 20, 2015 9:15:44 GMT -6
This thread was like watching the end of The Departed, what the heck just happened?
|
|
|
Post by coachmonkey on Jan 20, 2015 11:09:50 GMT -6
I just wanted to point out that far too often I see/hear coaches only yell and scream and kids and point out with they do wrong. If you are using fear as your only motivation, you should probably quit coaching.
|
|
|
Post by tothehouse on Jan 20, 2015 12:30:23 GMT -6
I find...that a lot of times...the worst kids in the class like me the most. Maybe it's because I call them on their {censored}?
|
|
|
Post by coachmonkey on Jan 20, 2015 12:46:19 GMT -6
As a special education teacher, I would say your EBD students can smell BS from a mile away. Lots of teachers do this and these kids will usually call them on it, and then be accused of a lack of respect. They students like people that respect them enough to call them on their BS in a respectful or tactful way, but it's probably more that you hold all students accountable. That is the most important thing. You can call them out on stuff, but you need to build them up when they do something good. I find EBD students will typically push adults/authority figures to their breaking point because they want to reinforce that teachers, principals, or whoever are no different than the adults in their lives at home, which typically is to yell or get violent when angry or frustrated. As soon as an adult does that, teacher, coach, parents etc., in the child's mind, they are now just like all the other adults who have disappointed them or let them down in life and they are justified in not like or not trying for that person. It's a fine line to walk, but if you can break through to a kid like that it can be very powerful. They may still yell and curse at your (if the are EBD they will for sure), but deep down, they truly do care about you. That is my PSA for the day.
|
|
|
Influence
Jan 20, 2015 13:27:40 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by silkyice on Jan 20, 2015 13:27:40 GMT -6
So we went from feel good, to cheesy, to smart a$$ in record time on this thread. LOL Be nice, it's one of my few strengths. I am so proud of you dc.
|
|
|
Post by coachgtiller on Jan 20, 2015 13:51:57 GMT -6
As a special education teacher, I would say your EBD students can smell BS from a mile away. Lots of teachers do this and these kids will usually call them on it, and then be accused of a lack of respect. They students like people that respect them enough to call them on their BS in a respectful or tactful way, but it's probably more that you hold all students accountable. That is the most important thing. You can call them out on stuff, but you need to build them up when they do something good. I find EBD students will typically push adults/authority figures to their breaking point because they want to reinforce that teachers, principals, or whoever are no different than the adults in their lives at home, which typically is to yell or get violent when angry or frustrated. As soon as an adult does that, teacher, coach, parents etc., in the child's mind, they are now just like all the other adults who have disappointed them or let them down in life and they are justified in not like or not trying for that person. It's a fine line to walk, but if you can break through to a kid like that it can be very powerful. They may still yell and curse at your (if the are EBD they will for sure), but deep down, they truly do care about you. That is my PSA for the day. I second this coachmonkey. I too teach special ed and I get a lot of kids that come with a bad rep just because he was a turd "Mrs. Smith's" class and never does anything. Well I actually enjoy the kid and he works hard for me. The teachers and coaches that don't value the relationship part of the profession are the ones who drive me nuts. Like you said it's a fine line to walk, but once you are able to let that kid see that you care and are in his/her corner. They'll do anything for you . I heard it from Coach K first, "They don't care how much you know, til they know how much you care." And I've carried that with me everyday, whether it's in my classroom or on the practice field.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 16:33:49 GMT -6
Why is anybody in either profession if they are not in it for the kids? All the other is sort dependant on you caring about the kids. And it goes the other way as well, how can you say you are in it for the kids, but short cut them in the classroom or on the practice field.
|
|
|
Post by coachgtiller on Jan 21, 2015 10:29:27 GMT -6
Honestly I think 90% of the women who teach high school are in it for the summers off or they can show everyone how smart they are. Yea...I said it. Some are in it for the kids but some don't give a chit about the kids, bad mouth the kids every chance they get, etc. I've been in the Principal's office more than once for telling them what I thought in crystal clear vocabulary and I don't care. Row the boat in the same direction or get the phuk out. Not a single coach in the world would keep a guy who was a lazy chitty coach and did nothing but b!tch about the kids non-stop. In our building there's a handful of women who fit into this category. I think part of it is they just don't want to take the time to get to know certain kids, they're too quick to write a kid off as a punk. From that point on they don't want to put anymore effort into that kid than they have to.
|
|
|
Post by msirishman on Jan 21, 2015 10:49:07 GMT -6
Honestly I think 90% of the women who teach high school are in it for the summers off or they can show everyone how smart they are. Yea...I said it. Some are in it for the kids but some don't give a chit about the kids, bad mouth the kids every chance they get, etc. I've been in the Principal's office more than once for telling them what I thought in crystal clear vocabulary and I don't care. Row the boat in the same direction or get the phuk out. Not a single coach in the world would keep a guy who was a lazy chitty coach and did nothing but b!tch about the kids non-stop. I'm right there with you on this one. Some teachers never have anything good to say about any kid, must be a miserable existence to do something you hate every day.
|
|
|
Post by groundchuck on Jan 21, 2015 10:54:38 GMT -6
It's important that kids know we care. They don't care how much we know until they know how much we care.
|
|
|
Post by breakerdog on Jan 21, 2015 13:02:35 GMT -6
I was the JV HC at a previous school about 10 years ago. I had a kid come out for our JV team named Herbert. He was a natural #1 tech with a huge body and all kinds of athleticism. He had been kicked out of school a few times and had a bad rep. He had pulled a knife on a teacher once. Long track record of fighting, bullying and anger issues. I had a few teachers come by and warn me about him. He was big, fast, mean and nasty. He scared the other kids on my team.
Turns out the kids Dad had died a few years back and his mom was a train wreck with addiction issues. His need for structure and authority was blindingly obvious to me. We had a few head banging episodes the first few weeks but he got on board. He was yes sir-ing and no sir-ing in no time. He turned into a beast on the field. Got all kinds of positive re-enforcement from football and loved the team/family message we preached. Became a captain on our Varsity team. Got a scholarship and a degree. Haven't seen him in quite a while, but he wrote me a few years back saying he had a job, a wife and a new baby. I felt like my influence had something to with his turn around and that I impacted more than one life. Still gives me warm fuzzies.
I love the Xs and Os, but that stuff really gets me charged up for this strange pass time / profession we call coaching.
|
|
|
Post by silkyice on Jan 21, 2015 13:05:50 GMT -6
I was the JV HC at a previous school about 10 years ago. I had a kid come out for our JV team named Herbert. He was a natural #1 tech with a huge body and all kinds of athleticism. He had been kicked out of school a few times and had a bad rep. He had pulled a knife on a teacher once. Long track record of fighting, bullying and anger issues. I had a few teachers come by and warn me about him. He was big, fast, mean and nasty. He scared the other kids on my team. Turns out the kids Dad had died a few years back and his mom was a train wreck with addiction issues. His need for structure and authority was blindingly obvious to me. We had a few head banging episodes the first few weeks but he got on board. He was yes sir-ing and no sir-ing in no time. He turned into a beast on the field. Got all kinds of positive re-enforcement from football and loved the team/family message we preached. Became a captain on our Varsity team. Got a scholarship and a degree. Haven't seen him in quite a while, but he wrote me a few years back saying he had a job, a wife and a new baby. I felt like my influence had something to with his turn around and that I impacted more than one life. Still gives me warm fuzzies. I love the Xs and Os, but that stuff really gets me charged up for this strange pass time / profession we call coaching. That is what it is all about. God bless you.
|
|
|
Influence
Jan 21, 2015 20:21:10 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by coachmonkey on Jan 21, 2015 20:21:10 GMT -6
I was the JV HC at a previous school about 10 years ago. I had a kid come out for our JV team named Herbert. He was a natural #1 tech with a huge body and all kinds of athleticism. He had been kicked out of school a few times and had a bad rep. He had pulled a knife on a teacher once. Long track record of fighting, bullying and anger issues. I had a few teachers come by and warn me about him. He was big, fast, mean and nasty. He scared the other kids on my team. Turns out the kids Dad had died a few years back and his mom was a train wreck with addiction issues. His need for structure and authority was blindingly obvious to me. We had a few head banging episodes the first few weeks but he got on board. He was yes sir-ing and no sir-ing in no time. He turned into a beast on the field. Got all kinds of positive re-enforcement from football and loved the team/family message we preached. Became a captain on our Varsity team. Got a scholarship and a degree. Haven't seen him in quite a while, but he wrote me a few years back saying he had a job, a wife and a new baby. I felt like my influence had something to with his turn around and that I impacted more than one life. Still gives me warm fuzzies. I love the Xs and Os, but that stuff really gets me charged up for this strange pass time / profession we call coaching. Anymore messages like this? Love it.
|
|
|
Post by scottbailey on Jan 21, 2015 21:03:19 GMT -6
Coachmonkey,
What happened to you in that meeting I refer to as "PAYDAY"....what that kid told you reminds all of us that what we do is worthwhile work. Write yourself a paycheck!
Scott Bailey Lamar HS Lamar, Missouri
|
|
|
Influence
Jan 22, 2015 9:51:17 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by abkillen on Jan 22, 2015 9:51:17 GMT -6
Honestly I think 90% of the women who teach high school are in it for the summers off or they can show everyone how smart they are. Yea...I said it. Some are in it for the kids but some don't give a chit about the kids, bad mouth the kids every chance they get, etc. I've been in the Principal's office more than once for telling them what I thought in crystal clear vocabulary and I don't care. Row the boat in the same direction or get the phuk out. Not a single coach in the world would keep a guy who was a lazy chitty coach and did nothing but b!tch about the kids non-stop. DC speaks nothing but truth lol
|
|
|
Post by coachmonkey on Jan 23, 2015 7:50:27 GMT -6
Coachmonkey, What happened to you in that meeting I refer to as "PAYDAY"....what that kid told you reminds all of us that what we do is worthwhile work. Write yourself a paycheck! Scott Bailey Lamar HS Lamar, Missouri I wasn't even in the meeting. Another teacher told me the kid said that.
|
|
|
Post by RoCro23 on Jan 26, 2015 10:04:03 GMT -6
I personally like more threads like this. X's O's, to me, get old after a while. People trying to find a million different ways to skin the same cat. Thanks for posting and getting this conversation going. How long your first step is to a 40 linebacker won't make you a better person. The time you spend getting to know and helping a young man grow, will.
|
|