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Post by Defcord on Dec 18, 2014 8:54:40 GMT -6
I know a lot of the funny things that happen during football are "you had to be there" type of things but thought it would be interesting to hear from everyone any funny stories they may have. It's finals week may help break up the monotony a little.
One from my camp. Our head coach is giving team prayer..."Dear Lord, insert normal prayer, just be with us Lord and help us achieve victory. Also please rip their freaking souls out. Amen!"
Needless to say he is no longer the one that does the team prayer.
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Post by mhcoach on Dec 19, 2014 8:53:58 GMT -6
Mine has been retold & really isn't a football one, still funny. After a home game I am leaving school a couple of hours after the game & all the gates are locked. As I pull up to the main gate a car makes a screeching U-Turn & pulls back to the gate. It's the Vice Principal, normally a rather stoic older gentleman who is always composed. He apologizes for the gates being locked. He asks if any other coaches are left inside, as he struggles to open the gate. After a few minutes of frustrating attempts he tells me to pull down to the south gate.
We drive down to the south gate & again he can't open the gate. It's almost 1 am & to be honest I find it funny rather than annoying. He pulls out his cell phone to call the Dean of Students to get the proper gate code. When someone answers he lets out a long expletive filled rant. He suddenly stops turns ashen white, & begins apologizing to whom he is talking to. He ends the call with several "Yes sirs" & "I'm sorry's". Instead of calling our Dean of Students he dialed the Superintendent of the entire county. He went from ashen white to crimson red & started wailing I called the Superintendent Oh no I am going to be fired. He is now dancing outside the gate, & it is talking every bit of composure not to laugh on my part.
At this point I ask him what is the code he has, he tells me, I punch it in & the gate opens. He is still dancing outside the gate now even faster realizing there was no need for the call to begin with.
Joe
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Post by Defcord on Dec 19, 2014 11:10:26 GMT -6
Mine has been retold & really isn't a football one, still funny. After a home game I am leaving school a couple of hours after the game & all the gates are locked. As I pull up to the main gate a car makes a screeching U-Turn & pulls back to the gate. It's the Vice Principal, normally a rather stoic older gentleman who is always composed. He apologizes for the gates being locked. He asks if any other coaches are left inside, as he struggles to open the gate. After a few minutes of frustrating attempts he tells me to pull down to the south gate. We drive down to the south gate & again he can't open the gate. It's almost 1 am & to be honest I find it funny rather than annoying. He pulls out his cell phone to call the Dean of Students to get the proper gate code. When someone answers he lets out a long expletive filled rant. He suddenly stops turns ashen white, & begins apologizing to whom he is talking to. He ends the call with several "Yes sirs" & "I'm sorry's". Instead of calling our Dean of Students he dialed the Superintendent of the entire county. He went from ashen white to crimson red & started wailing I called the Superintendent Oh no I am going to be fired. He is now dancing outside the gate, & it is talking every bit of composure not to laugh on my part. At this point I ask him what is the code he has, he tells me, I punch it in & the gate opens. He is still dancing outside the gate now even faster realizing there was no need for the call to begin with. Joe That's pretty funny. How did things end up for him?
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Post by mhcoach on Dec 19, 2014 16:49:17 GMT -6
I
He just retired, hence the story being retold. Funny thing was he always was a proper guy, I never heard a cross word from his mouth. Great guy, I think he was planning on retiring & the call had nothing to do with it.
Joe
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Post by 2adaysfootballcom on Dec 28, 2014 13:15:24 GMT -6
We had an injured kid that could run but always annoying us to give him something to do, so we told him to go to the equipment shed and ride the exercise bike. The joke is that we don't have an excersise bike in the equipment shed but he didn't know that so he pulled out the snap machine and tried to ride it. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
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Post by PIGSKIN11 on Jan 1, 2015 2:53:38 GMT -6
In our game vs our rivals this year we are up 7-0 at half. We had not beat them since 1991... there head coach leads us to their weight room at half as he always does to open the door... As my kids go in he calls me over and is laughing - always has a pun or a funny... He said that one of my kids stated, "Sh!t if we win I am going to get la!d tonight!!!!" We had a laugh and moved on... We win in OT - hell of a game... - see my post in this forum - "FINALLY BEAT OUR RIVALS"The HC texts me later that night with "tell #99 to be safe" HAHA I was dying laughing....
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Post by champcoach on Jan 5, 2015 7:10:35 GMT -6
One night after a game a defensive tackle were waiting for his ride to pick him up. We were in good spirits due to our victory. I asked the kid how he felt he played that night. He told me he thought he did well but was upset because he "almost" had an interception. I didn't recall that taking place but asked the kid what happened. He responded, "the quarterback didn't throw it to me." I guess the other teams QB was well coached.
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Post by coachrdc on Jan 8, 2015 20:39:14 GMT -6
This past JV season we had a kinda funny one. We're a small school (had about 30 on our squad 9-12) and had a kid who played some early varsity games for us, but got beat out for a position and played JV the rest of the way. He took it really well. He's a tweener, and hadn't played in several years, also kind of a goof ball, which explains what he did.
So we're in a tight game on the road (ended in a tie after an overtime) and force a punt with our opponent on about their own 15 or 20. We run a wall return (or at least try to with our younger kids) and this kid is the wall setter. So they get it away and, as expected, its a short kick but takes a good roll for then to around the 50. I assume its gonna be downed and turn to give instructions to another kid. When I do, this kid's (the one I'm talking to on the sideline) eyes get real big and i hear our sideline screaming. I turn back to the field to see our tweener running down our sideline, ball in hand, to score a TD. When he comes off the field, I grab him and say, "great play, but what in the hell made you decide to do that?" He smiles and says, "well a bunch of their kids were just standing around and hadn't touched it yet, so I figured 'why not?'"
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Post by olcoach53 on Jan 9, 2015 8:34:59 GMT -6
This past JV season we had a kinda funny one. We're a small school (had about 30 on our squad 9-12) and had a kid who played some early varsity games for us, but got beat out for a position and played JV the rest of the way. He took it really well. He's a tweener, and hadn't played in several years, also kind of a goof ball, which explains what he did. So we're in a tight game on the road (ended in a tie after an overtime) and force a punt with our opponent on about their own 15 or 20. We run a wall return (or at least try to with our younger kids) and this kid is the wall setter. So they get it away and, as expected, its a short kick but takes a good roll for then to around the 50. I assume its gonna be downed and turn to give instructions to another kid. When I do, this kid's (the one I'm talking to on the sideline) eyes get real big and i hear our sideline screaming. I turn back to the field to see our tweener running down our sideline, ball in hand, to score a TD. When he comes off the field, I grab him and say, "great play, but what in the hell made you decide to do that?" He smiles and says, "well a bunch of their kids were just standing around and hadn't touched it yet, so I figured 'why not?'" This is awesome. I love it when kids like that make plays. This story reminded me of something that happened during the 2013 season. We had a not so good JV year, 0-8, and we were playing the eventual JV conference champs. We had a defensive tackle who was, what is the polite way of saying this....a big fat dork who had never played football before and wore baseball rubber cleats for his football shoes. Anyways, this young man actually intercepted a pass in the opponents end zone for a touchdown but not before trying to run the opposite direction with the ball. Luckily he had caught the ball in the endzone so the TD had already been signaled. Kid had no clue what happened and we ended up ALMOST winning
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jelotts
Sophomore Member
Posts: 120
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Post by jelotts on Jan 9, 2015 11:01:28 GMT -6
This past JV season we had a kinda funny one. We're a small school (had about 30 on our squad 9-12) and had a kid who played some early varsity games for us, but got beat out for a position and played JV the rest of the way. He took it really well. He's a tweener, and hadn't played in several years, also kind of a goof ball, which explains what he did. So we're in a tight game on the road (ended in a tie after an overtime) and force a punt with our opponent on about their own 15 or 20. We run a wall return (or at least try to with our younger kids) and this kid is the wall setter. So they get it away and, as expected, its a short kick but takes a good roll for then to around the 50. I assume its gonna be downed and turn to give instructions to another kid. When I do, this kid's (the one I'm talking to on the sideline) eyes get real big and i hear our sideline screaming. I turn back to the field to see our tweener running down our sideline, ball in hand, to score a TD. When he comes off the field, I grab him and say, "great play, but what in the hell made you decide to do that?" He smiles and says, "well a bunch of their kids were just standing around and hadn't touched it yet, so I figured 'why not?'" This is a great story....."Why not?" Kid was aware of his surroundings, that is for sure!
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Post by tigercoach11 on Jan 12, 2015 9:32:45 GMT -6
Had a CB that played for me that was a pretty good athlete, but, not all there in common sense department (he did real well in school though???) Anyway, bout play a team that uses A LOT of formation adjustments/shifts/motion etc... and I just cannot figure out how he is going to be able to adjust. So the game plan is I give him a # (#21...its the same # he wears) and tell him he goes where 21 goes. Wing/Split/Slot doesn't matter he covers 21.
Then I make the mistake of saying "if he goes to get water go get some water with him". Middle of the game and a tackle is made on their sideline and shortly after some commotion is going on and ref tells me "Coach you need to calm him down" I say "who" he says "21" so I pull the kid and start asking him what the hell happened. He says "Coach, he was going to the sideline so I went with him but they didn't like it too much".......
Same kid... I catch on film messing around with his cleat or ground before ball is snapped (He's a CB in man coverage on a WR). I said "What the hell are you doing, if you need to tie your cleat tell the ref" ....he responds " Sorry Coach, but I found a dollar on the ground"....
I couldn't help but laugh and told him Id give him $5 if he got a pick 6...
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Post by tigercoach11 on Jan 12, 2015 9:41:40 GMT -6
I also had a kid one time completely DESTROY a return man after he called a fair catch. I pull the kid and go absolutely ballistic on him. He looks at me and says "sorry coach I didn't know what a fair catch was"
He was a senior but had not played FB since junior high. Goes to show you should never "assume" kids know the rules, and I should have taught him. I felt terrible and apologized to him right there on the sideline (usually even if Im wrong I will wait til emotions have calmed).
Went to explain to other coach (friend of mine) after game and he says SH!T coach it was a hell of a hit..
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Post by coachg13 on Jan 12, 2015 19:59:26 GMT -6
First touchdown of the first game....go out to kick the extra point. Illegal formation - not enough men on the line penalty. Look over and our RT is standing on the sideline. HC rips into him, and he calmly responds "Coach, you told me I'm on the field goal team...you never said anything about the PAT team." From that day forward it was referred to as the "FG/PAT Team"
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Post by oriolepower on Jan 14, 2015 11:28:12 GMT -6
Our corner comes up, flies across the LOS and drills the WR as he catches a key screen. When he comes to the sideline we said awesome job. He replied with, "I hate that kid." I asked what happened and he said, I belched in face. He replied with, "Real nice." To which our CB said,"You're dead a$$ hole." Ball was snapped he flew across the line and hit him.
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Post by coachwoodall on Jan 15, 2015 9:47:08 GMT -6
First year coaching, rural HS, not a real good team. We have our 5 days of shorts/tshirts and finally we get to go full pads. We go through warm ups and then we set up for a full speed tackle drill. No teaching, progression, or technique. It's wide open Oklahoma drill. After about 15 minutes we take a little break to let the kids catch their breath. As the coaches are gathered around commenting which pups bite and which didn't, a kids ambles up to the head coach and says, "Dang coach, ya'll sho nuff for real!"
HC, "Yeah, we try to get after it a bit"
Player, "Welp, I think I'am gonna take it to the house." And proceed to walk the field house and change.
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Post by CoachHess on Jan 15, 2015 12:09:05 GMT -6
Freshman, first week ever playing football, kid is goofy as all get out. Standing on the sidelines of a JV game, he isn't dressed because he came out late. I look at him and he looks like he is about to cry. I ask what is wrong, and he says "I have to fart." I reply, "by all means buddy, let er rip." I'm not making this up, the kids says "Coach I only fart in my own house, I gotta hold it for a while!!"
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Post by coachwoodall on Jan 15, 2015 14:00:07 GMT -6
Freshman, first week ever playing football, kid is goofy as all get out. Standing on the sidelines of a JV game, he isn't dressed because he came out late. I look at him and he looks like he is about to cry. I ask what is wrong, and he says "I have to fart." I reply, "by all means buddy, let er rip." I'm not making this up, the kids says "Coach I only fart in my own house, I gotta hold it for a while!!" YOU CAN NEVER TRUST A FART!
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Post by fantom on Jan 15, 2015 17:20:48 GMT -6
First year coaching, rural HS, not a real good team. We have our 5 days of shorts/tshirts and finally we get to go full pads. We go through warm ups and then we set up for a full speed tackle drill. No teaching, progression, or technique. It's wide open Oklahoma drill. After about 15 minutes we take a little break to let the kids catch their breath. As the coaches are gathered around commenting which pups bite and which didn't, a kids ambles up to the head coach and says, "Dang coach, ya'll sho nuff for real!" HC, "Yeah, we try to get after it a bit" Player, "Welp, I think I'am gonna take it to the house." And proceed to walk the field house and change. Coach, that's funny. Something similar happened when I was playing in college. When we reported to camp my junior year my roommate was a new guy, an older guy, 25, who'd just gotten out of the Army and wanted to play fullback. We settled into the room then headed up for our first practice. We always started practice by jogging two laps around the practice field, which was about a quarter-mile from the field house. As I made the turn to finish I saw that my roommate was about 100 yards ahead of me, near the finish line. He didn't stop though, didn't even break stride. He kept going off of the field, across the road, and I watched him jog to the field house. After practice when I got to the room he was gone and I never saw him again. Dude's college football career consisted of one lap.
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Post by reevekyle on Jan 17, 2015 21:15:12 GMT -6
Leaving school last year after a tough loss, saw a person in a hooded sweatshirt walking away from the building, thought it was odd but had to get school vehicle returned for another coach so I left. I then drove back in my car on my way home and saw the same person standing outside of the entrance to our locker room but a dumpster so I pull into the parking lot and the figure is gone. So I take a lap around the dumpster and the kid just kept moving around, taking a lap himself. I finally get out of the car, tell whoever it is that I'm about ready to call the cops. A sophomore pops his head around, surprised it's me, and apologizes. His older brother, a junior on the team, left him to go to his girlfriend's house. So I ask him, "Why did you try hiding from me?" His response, "I thought it'd be awkward if you saw me."
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 18, 2015 5:47:54 GMT -6
Many moons ago coaching Pop Warner I had a newbie that was a high strung ol/DL kid. We go through our pre-week with just shorts & helmets & get to full pads the following week. Well, this kid comes to practice on a Monday, in full gear like the rest of his teammates. We begin practice & I can tell he's not moving well at all, sort of like he was chafed real bad. Well at our first water break I walk up to him and ask him what's wrong, & he says "Coach my d!ck pad is killing me?!" He points to his groin and low & behold this young man has his butt pad in the FRONT of his pants! I told him that it was a butt pad, not a d!ck pad. He looks at me & says "y'all never told me where to put it, & I figured I didn't want that body part getting damaged so I put it there!!!". I had to turn & walk away...still cracks me up to this day.
Duece
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Post by hammer66 on Feb 3, 2015 11:37:18 GMT -6
We just installed no huddle this year... we tag plays with code words. Cars were a specific run play. So we get to the line of scrimmage like week 8 and the QB calls out the direction code and a car. Typically its Ford, Chevy, Dodge. The play starts and our right tackle doesn't move.....So when he comes off the field the kids are all razzing him. I guess the QB decided to change things up and made a MERCEDES call. Our kid turned to the QB after the play and said "whats a Mercedes?" Had fun with that one for weeks.
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Post by olinedude on Feb 26, 2015 12:09:16 GMT -6
Freshman B team game this year. We are terrible. Horrible, unbelievably untalented. Games were like watching two 3 legged dogs try to figure out a rubix cube. If the basics of football are blocking and tackling, then I don't know what sport we were playing cause we didn't do much of either.
Somehow, we end up playing a team as bad as we are. Our kid fumbles (shock surprise) and a kid from the other team picks the ball up and start sprinting to his own endzone. We are on the sideline looking in awe, myself thinking this doesn't actually happen in real life right? One of our more quick witted coaches starts going nuts for the kid! He's running down our sideline so our coach starts yelling "Go! GO!" and before you know it our whole sideline looks like the Auburn sideline when they beat Alabama go to the championship game. The kid "Scores" or so he thinks and he is fired up. Of course, since its the freshman B team, his whole team is fired up celebrating.
I couldn't contain myself. I almost fell over laughing.
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Post by groundchuck on Feb 26, 2015 14:02:49 GMT -6
This isn't from the 2014 season but it is funny.... I was sitting next to a dad at my son's youth travel basketball game and he was talking to another set of dads whom I am friends with. As I listen he started badmouthing his high school coach. He brought up how he played sophomores ahead of him (he was a senior) and how the coach played favorites and all that. Now I recognized the dad....he played for me at a different school when I was much much younger. I leaned over and asked him "where did you attend school?" He told me. Then I said "what year did you graduate?" Again he told me. Then I said to him, hey you know that {censored} coach you were talking about? That was me. The look on his face was priceless. He got up and walked away.
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Post by coachwoodall on Feb 26, 2015 18:00:07 GMT -6
This isn't from the 2014 season but it is funny.... I was sitting next to a dad at my son's youth travel basketball game and he was talking to another set of dads whom I am friends with. As I listen he started badmouthing his high school coach. He brought up how he played sophomores ahead of him (he was a senior) and how the coach played favorites and all that. Now I recognized the dad....he played for me at a different school when I was much much younger. I leaned over and asked him "where did you attend school?" He told me. Then I said "what year did you graduate?" Again he told me. Then I said to him, hey you know that {censored} coach you were talking about? That was me. The look on his face was priceless. He got up and walked away. oh how I'd pay money to have that single moment in time.
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Post by realdawg on Feb 27, 2015 5:49:18 GMT -6
Great story not from this season but about 7 years ago. We got this kid on the team named Spaceman bc he has to wear those sports goggles. He's bad, one of the worst I've ever coached and socially inept. His dad is our masonry teacher and played for our school back in the 80s, so the kid thinks its cool and makes sure to point out to us and all the kids when he does, like "hey this is the same undershirt my dad wore in 1986" or "hey coach, my dad wore these same cleats when he played" Swear thats true, but thats not the point. Anyway, this kids freshman year, is his dad's 1st year as the masonry teacher. So its our first day of hitting and I am all jacked up and we are getting ready to go to Oklahoma drill, when I feel a tug on my sleeve. I turn around, "WHAT!?!?!?!" There stands this kid, eyes full of fear, "Coach, I dont think I can hit today." Me: "Why in the hell not?" Kid: Cause coach, my dads insurance dont kick in till Sept 1" LOL I almost lost it! That was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. I told the kid that was a good idea to go set over there on the bench.
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Post by olinedude on Feb 27, 2015 9:26:04 GMT -6
I got another one from 2 seasons ago. We have this QB who is now at TCU. He's like 6'3 runs a 4.45 with an absolute cannon. As a junior though, he is about as bright as a dark room at 3am. We call a sprint out draw, even put the word "DRAW" before anything else so he knew to run. Crap, he's easily the fastest kid on the field. Just out run everybody and get the first down. He takes off and gets completely outside the defensive end. Great play you'd think... until he turns back and reverses the field. He runs back, gets just about outside the other DE on the other side, and we're thinking ok just run and this could be ok. Then he turns back to reverse field again to the original side. At this point we're all think what in the world is going through this kid's head. Then, he sets his feet and rears back and launches the football. He throws it directly to the free safety who, by all appearances was covering our LEFT GUARD. The only kid on our team even near where he threw it was #54. They get a short return and the plays dead. Our Offensive Coordinator is sitting next to me in the press box livid. I lasted about 10 seconds before I exploded in laughter, tears pouring out of my eyes, take my headset off, and apologize to my OC. He laughs and it ends up being a great story. Two years later he has a big XII championship.
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Post by WingTheT on Mar 1, 2015 13:48:07 GMT -6
It was the championship game for our JV team. We were playing a team and before the game, one of my freshman DL, #73, (goofiest kid, definitely a mama's boy, and is basically a puppy dog) asks me and says, "Coach, if I score tonight, how about I won't have to do up-downs for the rest of the year?" Obviously I said no, and he keeps on pestering me about how he had a dream he was going to score, blah blah blah. Eventually I gave in to his nonstop pestering and said, "If you somehow score, I'll buy you a $50 steak dinner...." Of course in the back of my mind, there was this terrible feeling that somehow this 6'2 190 slow, chunky, semi-athletic defensive end really might find a way to score a TD that night.
It's literally the final drive for the opposing team is at our 35 and we're up by 3 TDs. He's still in the game due to our thin numbers (private school problems). QB for the opposing team rolls out, gets hit, and the ball is on the ground. Of course #73 is in the right place at the right time and scoops it up....
He is about 10 yds away until he gets shoe-string tackled by the opposing HB. I think I may have been the happiest person in the whole stadium at that moment. Our whole sideline was going nuts. Everyone was excited about winning the championships. I was more excited about saving myself a steak dinner.
Note to self: Never, EVER make any type of bet....EVER! Anything CAN HAPPEN!
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Post by coachwoodall on Mar 2, 2015 21:09:12 GMT -6
Many moon ago in my career, as you can tell by his nickname
We had kid named Erkle; he looked just like the actor, glasses, build, haircut. The fact that he was a bit SpEd is the only reason why we could figure he would want to to look like Erkle. His real nickname was Sugar Nye, but he was the spitting image of Erkle.
He wasn't a problem child, and just was a jersey holder. The only thing that grated us the wrong way way that his specialness was that he didn't have much of a filter and just said pretty much what was on his mind. 9 time out of 10 it was just nonsense. Occasionally we had clamp it down, but it was just his thing.
He had it in his mind he was a WR. I can't remember who was his NFL hero that influenced him to make this decision, but that was his thing. So we just him go with it. He had a habit when he ran drills to run his route and clap his hands twice when he was ready to catch a ball. It was his signature move, but it wasn't the funny story.
He never got close to the field, even with a small school roster. His senior year, we got up pretty good versus a region opponent late in the year. However, it was one of those situations where late in the game we were trying to put kids into the game and it just happened the defense that was on the field. As always, you can either put this type kid into the game at NG, since he can alway find the guy snapping the ball or you can put him at CB since he is close to the sideline and you can talk to him to get him lined up/doing what he needs to do. So we put him in at CB.
Anyhoo, Suger Nye goes in and he's all hyped up; making sure his mouth piece is in good and tight, snaps his chin strap up real tight, adjusts his helmet, pulls up his sleeves and then....... promptly drops down into a 3 point stance.
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toke
Freshmen Member
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Post by toke on Mar 4, 2015 6:46:30 GMT -6
Some years ago, while I were still playing, there was another player who was just started playing football. It was one of his first scrimmages, if not his very first. He was playing FB and after some time he went to the coach complaining he didn't get the ball. He said he had gotten through the defence on every play and if he would just get the ball it would be a TD.
It's something that stuck with me and since I myself started coaching I've always remember, that no matter how basic you think it is, make sure to explain it to the players.
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toke
Freshmen Member
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Post by toke on Mar 4, 2015 6:51:21 GMT -6
I'll make another post since it's another story.
We were playing a game some years back.
Our opponents tried an onside-kick but the ball didn't travel 10 yards. Our second closest player to the ball yelled to our closest guy to stay away from the, so he wouldn't touch it. When he yelled to get away from the ball all the opponents also went away from the ball, so when he got to the ball he looked up and saw no opponent near him, so he picked up the ball and went for a touch down.
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