Human nature and coaching football

Everyone is different. The best are humble and never stop learning. Think you may have just had a run in with some bad eggs.

Just remember, 1/2 the people you deal with are below average...

The answer is "EGO plus IGNORANCE= JACKHOLE"

I hear you on that.  I've been told that I have too high of expectations in people.  As younggun alluded to, when you look up to certain people, or hold them in a certain regard, and they fall short of your expectations, it is easy to be let down.  I think I expect people to display a certain type of behavior based on what I would do myself in the same situation.  There are so many different facets of human nature, that I don't think I will ever understand it all.  

I am presently facinated with the idea of the ego and how it drives people to both good and bad places.  Thanks for the responses to this challenging post.   

That's real talk, right there.  Another one of the reasons I enjoy reading your posts.  You didn't dismiss the idea or minimalize it as some arbitrary trait that is a flaw in all of us.  Though it may be, there are still varying degrees of such behavior.  I'm not speaking toward a type of mental condition, but more in regard to (what you wrote about) as one having the ability to truly self reflect.  In other cases, looking at how people treat each other and how our actions affect lives.  Saban, wow spos21.  dc, I think I have to continually remind myself of what you said about those with an exceptionally high ego.  You hit it right on the head.

Not just coaches, you have people like this in every profession.

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Because so many successful people are pricks, I've always wondered if the two are connected in some way. Usually these people are very demanding, always find a way to get their way in things. Because they are take charge type of people I can't help to think this is a positive trait for success.

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That is a very good question. My initial reaction is to say that you can't create that kind of culture because humility is either innate or acquired early on in life. My football team didn't teach me humility, my parents did. My coaches just enforced the idea.

Identifying the point at which pride becomes arrogance is difficult because it's relative. There have been plenty of times where I thought certain behavior was "over the top" and coming from a place of "self spotlighting". Whereas a colleague would think it was "an enthusiastic display of team pride".

I don't think humility is a good word for what I want to teach. I'm fine with my kids being boastful of the program and for displaying the values we highlight in our program. I'm no longer fine with that player's actions when they start to become malicious or self serving. Tell people we do things the right way, as long as you continue to do it so. Tell people that your school is the best, as long as you back it up in your actions. Don't use the program to knock people down, use it to build people up.

As to building a culture that I could stress this in? Keep kids hungry by focusing on yourselves and playing to your standard. I think arrogance comes from when you start to compare yourself with others. "We are better than so and so because they can't hit/catch/run/play offense/play defense like us." That's arrogance. "We are better than we were because now we hit/catch/run better than we used to." That's self assessment. Humble people always talk about their own shortcomings. Arrogant people always speak of the shortcomings of others.

I would probably see the onus being on both adults involved. This is the relationship dynamic that takes place all over the field. The leader must set clear expectations and the followers must meet those expectations. I'd imagine that you'd correct the behavior just like you would if it was a player being insubordinate. Positive or negative consequences coupled with critiques with the intention of correcting the behavior.

It just gets a bit touchy because I feel it revolves a lot around respect. You conform to those you hold in high regard. You reject those individuals or ideas that you don't. The idea of selflessness is one of those things that many say they agree with but few actually put into practice. If you're asking how to correct a lack of conformity, then corrective action is key. If the cause for the lack of conformity is a lack of respect or selflessness, then you are treading into murkier waters.

I am currently reading a book called "InSideOut Coaching" it deals with some of the things that you guys are discussing and is a very good read for coaches. It makes you think about a lot of things that you do and say to your players but I think that it relates to how you treat all individuals.

I agree that sometimes when coaches start having success they don't like to admit they still don't know everything I find myself sometimes feeling a little uptight if I'm around people and they know things I don't I'm not saying it's right on just saying that's my natural got feeling