coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 7:41:06 GMT -6
Oh the joys of sucking...we have the worst class to ever come thru this HS....we suck....now a few SR parents are coming out of the word work and making it a living hell. All but 1 Sr plays in some capacity...some start....some split time...but I guess thats not good enough for some...we as coaches should cater to the Sr I guess...What ever happened to the best kid plays if you're 10-0 or 0-10? At the beginning of the year if was..."you should play the younger kids because you're not gonna be very good"....now its "you should respect the sr and not give up on them." (this dad has a SR and a Soph).
|
|
|
|
Post by blb on Oct 29, 2013 7:44:23 GMT -6
Why are you even listening to-hearing them?
|
|
|
|
Post by spos21ram on Oct 29, 2013 7:47:14 GMT -6
Yea, don't even pay attention to parents. They aren't at practice everyday, they have no clue what goes on during the week.
|
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 7:50:32 GMT -6
Why are you even listening to-hearing them? We really aren't. It was just out of courtesy. |
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 7:57:36 GMT -6
can't imagine why guys are leaving this profession in droves..
|
|
|
|
Post by spos21ram on Oct 29, 2013 8:01:13 GMT -6
When speaking with parents just tell them the truth, but just watch how you say it so they can't hold it against you if they try going over your head.
|
|
|
|
Post by larrymoe on Oct 29, 2013 8:06:42 GMT -6
Here's an idea- Don't talk to their parents in any capacity. Don't facebook them, don't tweet them, don't chat with them about your job or their kids. Tell them what they need to know and move on.
You're bringing it upon yourself if you choose to engage them in chatting.
|
|
|
|
Post by fcboiler87 on Oct 29, 2013 8:10:23 GMT -6
We've always used that if you want to know why your child isn't playing, let's sit down and watch film on him. Never had a parent want to do that.
|
|
|
|
Post by groundchuck on Oct 29, 2013 8:22:53 GMT -6
I try to avoid parents.
We have a certain dad who almost has a disease about talking to coaches. His comments are so off the wall and he's never happy. He even comes after you if you win.
So I avoid socializing with parents.
|
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 8:33:24 GMT -6
They just tried to set up a meeting with AD and Supt....both told them that they(Admin) will not meet with parents about playing time. Mark up one for the Admin!
|
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 8:48:19 GMT -6
I try to avoid parents. We have a certain dad who almost has a disease about talking to coaches. His comments are so off the wall and he's never happy. He even comes after you if you win. So I avoid socializing with parents. i agree I do to...and so does most of our small staff....but its harder in a small town like this one. |
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 8:54:13 GMT -6
I feel your pain brother...however, I have a suggestion for you... Hopefully you have a smart phone by now... I do not speak to ANY parent at ANY TIME about their son, the team, the program, anything other than general chatter without recording the conversation with my iPhone. If a parent wants to speak to me, I'll talk to them anywhere except on the phone (because my phone is no longer jailbroken and I can't record voice conversations anymore). I am also the same way with every administrator. AD, Principal...ANYONE who has some authority over me. I record it all. Parents are like rape. Trying to prove you didn't do or say something is impossible and all it takes is the accusation. I had a jerk off parent at my last school. Wanted to meet with me 3 days after I got the job. First words out of his mouth "we want to know what you are going to do for our son?"....don't think that didn't come back around 1 year later when his son...a 2.3 GPA student and average football player wasn't being recruited by BCS schools. We had a meeting about his recruiting...called by the parent, with the Principal and the AD. The conversation went back to when we first spoke, we disagreed on what was said and I whipped out my phone, hit play and all 2 hours and 43 minutes of the conversation between me and his parents wasn't hearsay anymore. He was pretty shut down after that but still had an attitude. So I asked him if he had the college mailing list and every game film. He said he did. I said "great, do it yourself." He said "I don't know what I'm doing and I don't have time for all of that." I said "not my problem." and walked out of the meeting. RECORD EVERYTHING WHEN DEALING WITH PARENTS - They are NEVER your friend. Their interest in you and your program is no deeper than their kid. Do you tell them you are recording the conversation? |
|
|
|
Post by coachphillip on Oct 29, 2013 8:58:06 GMT -6
At our parent/player meeting at the beginning of the summer we let everybody clearly know our policy: "The coaching staff will not discuss playing time or position changes with parents. Our relationship is with your children. If he/she has any concerns or questions then they are more than welcome to come and discuss them with us. Your job is to support your children. If you want to know about their role on the team, ask them."
Parents are a pain. It's easier for us to get away with stuff like this as high school coaches. I can't even imagine how bad it must be for youth coaches.
|
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 9:00:14 GMT -6
At our parent/player meeting at the beginning of the summer we let everybody clearly know our policy: "The coaching staff will not discuss playing time or position changes with parents. Our relationship is with your children. If he/she has any concerns or questions then they are more than welcome to come and discuss them with us. Your job is to support your children. If you want to know about their role on the team, ask them." Parents are a pain. It's easier for us to get away with stuff like this as high school coaches. I can't even imagine how bad it must be for youth coaches. This is the mistake we made when we took over...we didn't have a meeting with parents...I WILL happen from now on!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
Post by newhope on Oct 29, 2013 9:28:56 GMT -6
There you go. Meet with them prior to the season, explain the rules, especially the "we don't discuss playing time" rule, and then that's it. Yeah, you're 0-10 they're going to come out of the woodwork and go to administration. They think because you're losing someone will listen who wouldn't when you're winning. It comes with the job. Here's the best part: they're senior parents, you're done with most of them.
|
|
|
|
Post by blb on Oct 29, 2013 9:46:17 GMT -6
Here's the best part: they're senior parents, you're done with most of them. The flip side is, there's always somebody to take their place. Our parents' meeting in June solves a lot of problems before they arise. |
|
|
|
Post by jlenwood on Oct 29, 2013 9:59:09 GMT -6
This seems to be a re-occurring theme on this site about parents, and I have a question for the guys on here who are teachers....how do you deal with parents when the question-comment-concerns are about a STUDENT?
I know first hand how the wrath of a parent can cause many a grey hair, but if you set the ground work at the beginning of the season with specific rules and protocol and a chain of command, do you just ignore parents altogether after that? I would think that by being ignored you are letting an issue fester which is never good. I say meet with them on your terms. And I don't think you need the AD or Principal involved, just cover your arse like dc said and have other witnesses or record/video the meeting.
We have almost the exact same scenario this season. Bad season and a bunch of seniors, some who have never played, and parents who fuel the fire by pi$$ing and moaning constantly. I am a position coach and I always tell my players if they have any beef about something to come to me. Well, one day a parent approached me about scheme and this and that and whatever. I calmly and professionally had a solid rebuttal and reason for everything we were doing, engaged the man in conversation...not yelling or acting like a jerk...and that seemed to clear a lot of bad blood towards the program.
Now I would have preferred to have a meeting set up, but it was before practice and it was not an inconvenience at the time. So if I just blew him off and said "I don't talk to parents", I believe the issues would have become a major distraction for an already struggling team. The reality is you can never make everyone happy, but it has been my observation that by ignoring the parents completely most times just makes matters worse.
|
|
|
|
Post by larrymoe on Oct 29, 2013 10:20:16 GMT -6
I coach and teach in a school of 184 kids. I have no issue avoiding parent issues. |
|
|
|
Post by mahonz on Oct 29, 2013 10:41:12 GMT -6
Oh the joys of sucking...we have the worst class to ever come thru this HS....we suck....now a few SR parents are coming out of the word work and making it a living hell. All but 1 Sr plays in some capacity...some start....some split time...but I guess thats not good enough for some...we as coaches should cater to the Sr I guess...What ever happened to the best kid plays if you're 10-0 or 0-10? At the beginning of the year if was..."you should play the younger kids because you're not gonna be very good"....now its "you should respect the sr and not give up on them." (this dad has a SR and a Soph). Speaking strictly as a Parent....the season is lost...nothing happening beyond the final whistle of the last Reg Season Game. You are doing the right thing here as a Staff. You are playing Sr's that might not ever play again after this season but at the same time you are building for the future by playing your underclassmen as well. How this particular parent cant see this is a mystery. Maybe ask him point blank. |
|
|
|
Post by jlenwood on Oct 29, 2013 11:07:42 GMT -6
Don't think for one second that an administrator won't hang you out to dry to save their own neck. Been there. Low character jacka$$es. Hey....that's an insult to jacka$$es! |
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 11:45:48 GMT -6
Oh the joys of sucking...we have the worst class to ever come thru this HS....we suck....now a few SR parents are coming out of the word work and making it a living hell. All but 1 Sr plays in some capacity...some start....some split time...but I guess thats not good enough for some...we as coaches should cater to the Sr I guess...What ever happened to the best kid plays if you're 10-0 or 0-10? At the beginning of the year if was..."you should play the younger kids because you're not gonna be very good"....now its "you should respect the sr and not give up on them." (this dad has a SR and a Soph). Speaking strictly as a Parent....the season is lost...nothing happening beyond the final whistle of the last Reg Season Game. You are doing the right thing here as a Staff. You are playing Sr's that might not ever play again after this season but at the same time you are building for the future by playing your underclassmen as well. How this particular parent cant see this is a mystery. Maybe ask him point blank. Thanks |
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 11:48:07 GMT -6
They do not know I'm recording it. Spare me the...blah blah blah law, I don't care if it's court worthy or legal. So long as people don't try to change what they say to make it fit their current feelings or don't try to run me through a ringer when I was upfront with them from the beginning there isn't a problem. If you've known me for longer than 10 minutes you should know I am extremely upfront and I lack a great deal of tact, so what I say is in easy to understand, unambiguous language.OH...and I wouldn't do it, if it hadn't bit me in the butt before. Don't think for one second that an administrator won't hang you out to dry to save their own neck. Been there. Low character jacka$$es. You sound like a guy I could get along with pretty well!! And I understand completely about the Amin....they are why I always sleep with one eye open. |
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 11:51:16 GMT -6
This guys soph son is a starting WR and backup QB...(which is where this all stems from)...at the begining of the season he bitched because we didn't put him in at the end of the 1st game to get some reps....since then he has had some mop up duties late in games....now hes bitching because he goes to QB late in games and doesn't get many reps in practice.
This guy is all about his kid. Screw the rest of the program.
How many back up qb in small schools get ample reps in a 2 hr split (o & d) practice?
|
|
|
|
Post by blb on Oct 29, 2013 12:22:25 GMT -6
This guys soph son is a starting WR and backup QB...(which is where this all stems from)...at the begining of the season he bitched because we didn't put him in at the end of the 1st game to get some reps....since then he has had some mop up duties late in games....now hes bitching because he goes to QB late in games and doesn't get many reps in practice. This guy is all about his kid. Screw the rest of the program. How many back up qb in small schools get ample reps in a 2 hr split (o & d) practice? I'd b!tch too if my Sophomore son was up on Varsity and not playing instead of playing on JVs. |
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 12:23:34 GMT -6
This guys soph son is a starting WR and backup QB...(which is where this all stems from)...at the begining of the season he bitched because we didn't put him in at the end of the 1st game to get some reps....since then he has had some mop up duties late in games....now hes bitching because he goes to QB late in games and doesn't get many reps in practice. This guy is all about his kid. Screw the rest of the program. How many back up qb in small schools get ample reps in a 2 hr split (o & d) practice? I'd b!tch too if my Sophomore son was up on Varsity and not playing instead of playing on JVs. We don't have a JV...only have 28 out for football. |
|
|
|
Post by fantom on Oct 29, 2013 12:24:27 GMT -6
This guys soph son is a starting WR and backup QB...(which is where this all stems from)...at the begining of the season he bitched because we didn't put him in at the end of the 1st game to get some reps....since then he has had some mop up duties late in games....now hes bitching because he goes to QB late in games and doesn't get many reps in practice. This guy is all about his kid. Screw the rest of the program. How many back up qb in small schools get ample reps in a 2 hr split (o & d) practice? That's why you can't listen to parents. They ALL only care about their own kid, not the program. |
|
|
|
Post by spos21ram on Oct 29, 2013 12:26:19 GMT -6
This is off topic, but you can still have a JV team with only 28 players, unless the majority of them are seniors. We played a team with roughly 30 players and some how on Monday they had a JV team ready to play. I think it was the Varsity minus the seniors. They had about 20 kids for JV.
|
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 29, 2013 12:29:41 GMT -6
This is off topic, but you can still have a JV team with only 28 players, unless the majority of them are seniors. We played a team with roughly 30 players and some how on Monday they had a JV team ready to play. I think it was the Varsity minus the seniors. They had about 20 kids for JV. we put a pen to paper and figured we could get more kids on the field if we play a 9th/8th mix rather than a jv...most of the older ones play friday nights. |
|
coachy
Sophomore Member
Posts: 219
|
Post by coachy on Oct 30, 2013 7:56:05 GMT -6
I guess our AD had a phone conversation with the dad yesterday too...told him he was behind the HC 100% and if he (AD) was the HC none of the seniors would be playing because thats the least talented group to ever come thru this school...so he should consider himself lucky. (I like our AD!)
|
|
|
|
Post by coachdennis on Oct 30, 2013 11:17:04 GMT -6
The worst ones are the ones who pretend to care about the entire program, and sometimes do a semi-convincing job of it. Then the mask slips, and they are back to their true agenda, i.e. advancing the interests of their kid. It usually doesn't take long... |
|
