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Post by Coach Goodnight on Sept 6, 2013 9:57:09 GMT -6
Coaches,
How many of you guys have ever coached your son, and been his position coach? How do/did you seperate it out so it keeps the peace at home?
I am coaching my son for the first time in my career, I along with the head coach am his OL position coach, the HC also coaches him on DL. Talked to the HC this morning and he said he has felt some pressure from me about my son getting playing time and I dont want it to cause conflict. Mom is also asking me questions about why our son didnt get much playing time in varsity last night. So what are your suggestions/advice you can give me as I venture into unchartered waters?
Sent from my SCH-R760 using proboards
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Post by jsk002 on Sept 6, 2013 10:11:33 GMT -6
I am not speaking from experience as my sons are 4 and 2 respectively. I would say that you need to be as objective as possible when evaluating your son. I would ask how much pressure you put on the HC for playing time. Do you feel like your son should be playing more? If so, have a conversation with the HC and ask him what your son needs to get better at to earn the playing time. Find out, work on it and leave it at that. As far as your wife is concerned, just be honest with her. So and So is better than our son right now.
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Post by tothehouse on Sept 6, 2013 10:27:51 GMT -6
I am currently in this situation with my 8th grade son. He happens to be the QB of his team. He is a lot better than the 2nd string player. I say that...because I'm glad he is. I think it would be a lot tougher if the 2nd string kid was close...or in a battle for the position. Any move I would make would look like I'm favoring my son.
I have watched other respected colleagues interact with their kids on the playing field. I have definitely learned how to do it...and how NOT to do it. That being said...it doesn't make it easy.
Again, my son is doing a great job and I tell him so on the field...as a coach. In the car...and at home it's "how was school today?" "Get your homework done?" "What's happening with you (general question)" Personally I'm really good about separating the on field stuff with off field stuff. I think that helps the whole situation.
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Post by jlenwood on Sept 6, 2013 10:47:06 GMT -6
I can speak to this on so many levels. When my oldest son was in youth fb, I was one of his coaches. I was never his position coach. He was the best at his position and the HC made that decision. I have coached both of my sons in youth league, and thankfully I never was directly involved in the playing time decision, however it was always obvious they were the starters in their respective positions.
Fast forward to HS. I was hired by the HC from being a JR High coach to coach varsity WR and DB. It just so happens my oldest was a sophomore when I was hired and he was a WR. Defensive coach wanted to try him at safety, worked well but again I wasn't the one who asked for him. As he progressed as a WR it became obvious he should be on the feild, however to try and avoid looking like I was favoring him, I didn't start him sometimes when I should have. As he got better I named him a starter as a JR and he turned out to be one of our best. Led the team in all statistics his SR year. My youngest is now a JR and the QB. I had no say in what position he would play. That was determined by the HC and QB coach.
My advice is this, if you are his position coach you have to look for what is best for the team. If he should be a starter...by all means start him. I made that mistake and probably cost my son some playing time. If he shouldn't be a starter, be honest about that too. Don't be any different with him than you would with any other player. He always calls you coach, and his buddies who might be at the house will call you coach. It is very strange to hear that from your kid on the field, but that's how it is. I have had new coaches ask me if I was related to my sons, because they would never know by how I treat them.
Another thing to keep in mind is what to do if he is injured. I have had serious injury to my oldest, and I am telling you it is hard to keep it together when the kid laying on the field is yours...very tough.
A positive though is that you get insight on what the team is thinking and what the players are struggling with from your sons through casual conversations. I never interrogate, but stuff comes up and you get the point of view from the kids. It is funny to hear a bunch of them at your house talking about how cheesy another coaches speech was or whatever. Having sons play has really changed how I coach in some ways pertaining to how I communicate with players.
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Post by John Knight on Sept 6, 2013 12:42:49 GMT -6
I have always believed in playing the next best kid. When a kid that was a senior could not pass block I went to the next best kid, it happened to be my son who was a freshman. This was game 3. The kid who was a senior was a first year player, we tried to make a football player out of him but he was too far behind. I lost two old friends in his parents when I benched him sent my kid out there. They have since unthawed but still cool. Every coach on our staff said I did the right thing and my son ended up being co lineman of the year in our conference his senior year and started both ways his last 3 years. It is a tough spot but you have to do what is best for the team.
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