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Post by kboyd on Dec 22, 2007 23:19:53 GMT -6
Football is a big part of our social life as a family. The guys I coach with are some of my closest friends and we all do things together as families/couples. Friday nights after the games we all go out to supper together and then back to someone's house to watch gamefilm and drink a few beers.
In the 15 years that I have been coaching my wife has never once complained about the amount of time that I spend coaching. She knows football has been a huge part of my life and she also knows that she and our three boys come first in my life and I believe that is the key.
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Post by carookie on Dec 22, 2007 23:26:39 GMT -6
There was a 2 year span when I was out of coaching (getting my teaching credential) yet I needed to be around football so I would just go to local high school games. I had no ties to any of the schools, and knew none of the players; this was when my wife and I first started dating yet she'd always come along with me....I knew I had a keeper.
Fast forwars to my first HS job, its the preseason scrimage and I introduce our HC to my now fiance to whom he says, "Marrying a football coach, you must be very strong. Its very time consuming, it will dominate his time, and you'll be lucky to see him during the season." I laughed it off, but things worked well there; there were five coaches on the staff one other married, and my wife got along well with the other coaches as well as the other wife. I think that helped a lot. I dont know how many other staffs have a wives/gf club but I'd be interested to see.
In any case, I'm looking for a new job now, and I will honestly be looking at how well I think my wife would fit into each situation. We are now one, so I think it is only right to consider her well being with whatever job I take.
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herky
Sophomore Member
Posts: 189
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Post by herky on Dec 23, 2007 0:34:15 GMT -6
Tog, Herky is going to hurt you! Yes, I am!!! Not sure what that was all about!! Men, you will never keep your women 'totally' happy, let alone during football season. Having worked in athletics much of my professional career, and one who looks forward to football season as much as anyone on this board, I still struggle with the transition each season. The abrupt change in schedule is hard, but it levels out once school begins. The 2-a-days/in service weeks are the most disconnected for us. I have started 2 new jobs in the 4 years we have been married.....and in each instance, I wish I had him to lean on and share my stories in that first week. That's my selfish hang up. All order is restored once the college season begins. Don't discount a healthy sex life during the season. I can only speak as a woman with no kids....but free porn only does so much, so make time for sex and you will both be happy. If you do have children...take them to the fieldhouse if possible to give your wife a choice in how she spends a small chunk of time. Expose your wife to the game and your duties and let her make the call on her level of involvement. She doesn't have to like football to have respect and admiration for your level of commitment.
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Post by carson101 on Dec 23, 2007 5:02:02 GMT -6
I can't be specific as long as I am here for her in an instant for emergencies its not that bad I do feel a since of guilt now that my kids are getting older and ready for the transition to the college life that my time is more urgent. I am a assistant coach and this last season I had to decide if I was gonna coach because of health issues so I did back off a bit but as gameday neared I was there for the team up to speed and my wife told me either coach full time or get out of her house. Guess my moping around the house got to her. I am still having health issues but I love the game and the kids and I guess being on the field makes me feel better emotionally kinda therapudic(SP). My wife and kids know I love them and don't have a problem with my coaching as long as I am there for them when they need me.
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Post by rideanddecide on Dec 23, 2007 7:27:55 GMT -6
How to keep her happy?
Let her make every decision.
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Post by aztec on Dec 23, 2007 9:45:18 GMT -6
1. How do you keep your wife/girlfriend totally happy during football season?
They will never be totally happy but I don't have a wife who likes football. But she does understand it is my passion and respects that. Like Huey said is be efficent and don't spend unnecessary time. I think our profession is masterful at waisting time. I don't teach a first period class (I asked our VP for that) so I can take the kids to school and my wife can pick up. This has made a huge difference. I start my weekend films earlier to make it to games on Saturdays for my kids and take them to practice on Thursdays when we have very little going on.
2. How do you do make them happy during the off-season?
Take over more duties to balance the load of both of us working.
3. What compromises and/or sacrifices do you make so you can coach?
I just wake up early and go to bed later to get some things done.
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Post by kurtbryan on Dec 23, 2007 10:49:28 GMT -6
This has truly turned out to be a great thread.
During the season beginning in early August, we hold our staff meetings on Sunday nights, from 6pm - 10pm. That way, everybody can have a pretty much full weekend with their w/g.
I have been on other staffs when the HFC preference was to meet Sunday mornings from 10am - 4pm, or something along those lines, etc. Not my choice to do it that way and it allows for w/g time...hit the city, get away for a quick night away, etc.
We practice 4pm - 6:30PM Mon-Wed, then various parts of the staff watch film or follow up. On Thurs we have team dinners and of course play Friday nights. So, on Wed. I get home early, and we have an earlier dinner with family. Saturday nights is wife night - her choice and on a few Sunday's too during the season.
At least once a season I always host and have my entire staff over to our house for a great dinner and drinks. It is great for the staff and good to have my wife in the mix at our home. She enjoys that and it is a relaxed setting.
In the off-season I pick up the load more and enjoy cooking & BBQ, and of course vacations with family and/or wife.
Mostly, we still conduct our off-season staff meetings on Sunday nights 6pm - 10pm begining in early February. At that first meeting, the entire staff has their yearly planners so we can coordinate each upcoming off-season meeting in advance, that way everybody can make their plans. Of course, if a coach cannot make an off-season meeting once in a while that is OK. I want coaches who have happy w/g...cause we all know what happens when that ain't the case.
KB
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Post by fbdoc on Dec 23, 2007 13:22:11 GMT -6
Coached for 27 and married for 24. My wife knew I was a coach when we met, although it was during Track season (she's also a long time head coach) so the first football season was a bit of a surprise. I think sharing the house hold chores is the single biggest tip I could offer as to lessening the impact of the time you spend on football. I do the laundry and the dishes - its simply understood. My wife is not a FAN who lives and breathes high school football - as I said, she is a championship HC in cross country - but she comes to the games and I guess did become a bit of a fan when our son was playing for us (I can still hear her screams when he made the game winning catch against our rival!). Someone said it earlier, our profession is famous for Wasting Time, so I would echo Huey who cautioned everyone to be effiecient with your meetings. Which brings to mind a question ... Sunday night meetings from 6:00 to 10:00 PM ? I guess thats a good example of to each his own.
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Shotgun1
Sophomore Member
It is better to die trying than to quit...
Posts: 214
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Post by Shotgun1 on Dec 23, 2007 17:44:34 GMT -6
Sex every night is the key to happiness! Sometimes she is not even there!
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Post by phantom on Dec 23, 2007 17:47:50 GMT -6
Sex every night is the key to happiness! Sometimes she is not even there! Now that's funny.
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Post by coachmoore42 on Dec 23, 2007 20:04:49 GMT -6
For those of you that take your Wife or Girlfriend to a clinic with you, what do the ladies like to do while you are in sessions? KB shop what else? Same here. Luckily she's tighter with the money than I am, so we don't go into the poor house.
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Post by coachcb on Dec 24, 2007 10:06:27 GMT -6
1. I can't keep my gf completely happy during football season; we have a whole lot of "quality time" together. But, before the season we sit down and discuss what my time commitments are going to be like and what she can expect from me. Working out used to be a point of contention with past gfs/victims; not anymore. My current gf gets up with me at 4:30 in the morning to hit the gym with me. Nice thing about dating (marrying this summer) a former college track athlete; great work ethic.
2. Off-season; we get back to our normal schedule. The weekend after the season ends, we go do something special for a few days. Nothing too pricey or extravagant, just a nice weekend together.
3. I limit my social life to a bare minimum during the season. The guys on staff like to hit the bars on the weekends; I keep it to a minimum. If I do go out with them, its only long enough to grab one drink and then go home. Generally, the conversation during these outings revolves around either football or why their wives are upset at them for going out. Coached with a guy several years ago who almost lost his wife over that kind of stuff. I do my best to make sure we have one night a week to ourselves; keeps her somewhat happy.
I also push to include our wives and gfs on social gatherings whenever possible.. Instead of going out to some sh-thole bar, we might as well go out to dinner and include our significant others. Some of the best times I've had with staffs has been this kinds of occasions. Plus, this gives me a designated driver after I run up a 50 dollar beer tab. ;D
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Post by Rogie on Dec 25, 2007 18:57:35 GMT -6
This is an interesting one for me. Since I am only in my 2nd year at the college level. 4th overall and this past season was the first with a girlfriend.
1. I tried to explain to her my schedule. did not work out as we broke up about half way through the season. Reason was finances and time spent with her. I would generally be home at 9 on Thurs, Fri and 10 on Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed. That is if everything got done and I would be gone in the morning at 5.
So that did not set well with her. My current girlfriend has not seen the season yet, only recruiting. But so far she has handled me being on the road for stretches alright.
2. during the off-season is easier for me since i can be a more 7-5 guy and still do work at home.
3. I made some recruiting sacrifices. Which was a big mistake that will never happen again.
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20x
Junior Member
Posts: 380
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Post by 20x on Dec 25, 2007 23:15:22 GMT -6
Thought from my wife:
1. Pay attention to the family 2. Tell your wife you love her everyday. 3. Get off the CoachHuey.com during dinner 4. Change a diaper 5. Talk to her about what is going on during in football 6. Introduce her to people you work with 7. Put the baby to bed 8. Watch something beside Espn 9.Win!! 10. Don't get fired
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Post by sls on Dec 26, 2007 7:55:35 GMT -6
The hardest thing for my wife was being at a school that did not seem to appreciate me at all. I know every coach is disliked my many people, but win or lose they were very upset, even during the midst of the best season in 15 years, they cursed and screamed, but the worst was when she began to feel like they said stuff in front of her on purpose. That really began to bother her and that is when I moved on.
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Post by sls on Dec 26, 2007 10:01:56 GMT -6
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Post by coachjimmer on Dec 26, 2007 10:49:31 GMT -6
My girlfriend is a great supporter who does not stop me from being a football coach. She gives me 100 percent support in everything I do - scouting, coaching, game planning, meeting, etc.
However, she has one rule for me...
DO NOT GO TO A COACHING CLINIC ON A VALENTINE'S DAY!
I guess I won't be able to attend 2008 Frank Glazier Clinic in Denver.
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Post by Coach Bennett on Dec 26, 2007 10:54:57 GMT -6
Coaches w/girlfriends or fiances...live w/her before you get married so that she 'lives' the life so to speak and there are no surprises once the big day arrives.
Setting up a "date night" has been great for us. During the season, on Wednesday night at 6:30 I take her wherever she wants to go for dinner. Half the time she doesn't care where it is (could be pizza and 'sodas') so long as we're hanging out.
If she goes to your games, ask her what you she thinks you could be doing better...it's not like you don't hear this from everyone around you anyway and it gives her a sense of ownership. I was blown away when she simply said, "you're being too cute." She was right.
Lastly, simple weekend away once the season is done.
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dgs
Junior Member
Posts: 295
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Post by dgs on Dec 26, 2007 12:00:43 GMT -6
1. How do you keep your wife/girlfriend totally happy during football season?
This is the toughest task. We have 2 kids; one is a 16 yr. old girl and the other a 6 year old boy who is extremely energetic and trying for a 46 year old woman. Our daughter is on the school's drill team and my wife loves going to games and watching her perform and she genuinely likes watching the games as well (as long as she doesn't set by experts). As far as our boy goes, I take him to every thursday practice with me. He helps out the manager and enjoys being around the team. This helps my wife out a great deal. I think as he gets older I will have him go to more practices to help her out. Also, like has been stated before, if you aren't working don't hang out in the fieldhouse. This is tough for me because I am the type that likes to hang out and shoot the bull with the coaches.
2. How do you do make them happy during the off-season?
I try to be around the home and help out as much as I can. I am actually a good cook and I enjoy doing it because one of my favorite hobbies is eating. The thing I give up the most during the offseason is my hunting and fishing. I still do them but not as much as I would like. It is also important for us to do things together without the kids. This can be going out on the town but it is also as simple as going walking for 30 minutes for exercise and talking without being interupted.
3. What compromises and/or sacrifices do you make so you can coach?
One thing I gave up was being a head coach. I was a head coach in another sport earlier in my career and actually was very successful. I have had opportunities to be a head coach in football but have stayed as a coordinator because to head coach the way I would do it would require a lot more time involved than what I put in now; primarily the offseason. My wife has had a lot of health issues during our 25 years of marriage and she isn't strong enough to be a head coach's wife. But that's ok, my family is more important than my career.
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coacher
Sophomore Member
Posts: 191
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Post by coacher on Dec 26, 2007 17:37:49 GMT -6
Although football is on my mind more than anything, all my decisions are made with my family in mind. They are #1 to me.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2007 14:09:56 GMT -6
I told my girlfriend that New Year's Eve and New Year's Day are my favorite holdiays because both days feature college football from about 10 in the morning to approximately 11 at night and I watch it all. She looks at me and says, "That is different than any Saturday, because...?" Sadly, she has a point ;D
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