Advice- parent won't sign contract

I've realized over the years that player contracts are really only to cover the HC and AD's butt if the kid gets caught drinking, with drugs, gets in trouble in school etc., and he needs to be penalized in some way, i.e. suspended for a game, season, etc. The HC and AD can say "you signed the contract and know the consequences of your actions." The players don't think about the contract when making decisions on a Friday or Saturday night with their friends. They drink, smoke, do things they shouldn't. The contract isn't a deterent. They would make the same stupid mistakes with or without a contract.

As for this contract for the mother, it may sound like a decent idea. but there's no way she would abide by it whether it was signed or not. She's gonna control the way she raises her son.

A parent contract like this would probably never be allowed to be written up in my area. An AD would advise and tell our HC not to do it. Did you run this by your AD?

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No--you don't.  As others have stated, you have a right to set up consequences for him missing practices and games, and enforcing those consequences.

Keep in mind, it isn't HER actions that are the catalyst.  It is the kids.

Coach,

This is going to reiterate some of what has been said but from personal experience here is what we have tried. First, our HC firmly believes in erroring on the side of the kid, so if you feel he needs football there are some big decisions to be made. We had an instance like this last year and all you have influence on is the player. Like others have said, if you can pull the player and parent in and lay out the expectations that would be best even if it means back tracking. Let Mom know you empathize with her situation and are supportive of her decisions but you also have a team to worry about. Then here comes the big decision, if she pulls him again do you all want to remove him from the team for good or allow him to come back but reearn his position on the team (typically with not playing meaningful reps and being demoted on the depth chart, BUT still in the program with the opportunity to earn those roles back). That is a choice that is obviously over your head but whatever is decided needs to be laid out and followed. Our most gifted player did not touch the field on offense the first 4 games last year for a scenario like this and I believe that concept of "earning" playing time back helped set the tone for our team that we give extra chances but not without penalty, it helped in creating team support of our actions which is not something to lose sight of.

By no means have we figured it out here and it is a constant struggle in finding the balance between helping that one kid and sending a team first message to the rest of the team. It is something we revisit often and some on staff have very polar viewpoints behind closed doors, as anything else though it is a stance of solidarity outside of them. I don't have an easy answer for you as an assistant, its one of those things that if the HC is talking to you about give him your opinion then whatever he decides go with it..and talk bad about him to your wife!

This is what the really, really good ones find a way to do.  It's a tough balance to find.

That's fine, I really don't care if you buy it.  I have no motive to lie under an anonymous name to a bunch of people I'll most likely never meet. The kid is a testing freak, a starter last year, but it's not like he's a division one player.  He struggles to pick up on things and disappeared on us a few times last year.  We have all sorts of turds walking around this school that would be playing if we just submitted to the demands of better athletes.  This kid would take a serious turn for the worst without the structure and discipline of our program.  

I appreciate your input, despite your incorrect summations about the motive of the contract.

I'm not upset, but it is rather silly for people to make a judgment on the motive, when it's irrelevant to begin with.  It doesn't matter WHY we want him on the team.  The only point that is important here is how to handle a discontent parent of a kid that we do want to remain a part of the team.  

The relationship with her has never been great, obviously.  But, we feel like she at least respects what we have done for her son.  

Again, I wasn't the coach that drafted the contract or came up with the idea.  I was just trying to advise the head coach on the situation.

Thanks for your help.  

It's no problem, thanks for clarifying.  And I agree with you.  Sometimes we have motives that are there, but just don't realize it.  This is probably at work a little bit here, but the concept that is driving the bus here is the kid's well being, not ours.