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Post by amthd45 on Feb 6, 2013 19:12:42 GMT -6
I am not missing the birth of one of my children for a game. Dont care if everyone thinks I am not dedicated enough,but My Family is FIRST, plain and simple. I am not going to be one of these Failure coaches who was an awful husband and father, all for the sake of football.
Funeral for lets say a parent or close relative is OK? Heck they are dead, they are not going to know if you were there or not. Personally I dont like any type of funeral as I have always had a reoccuring dream that I would die at a funeral. (yeah call me weird i dont care).
Wedding, well i agree with most, people who know should know better than to get married during football season, but lets face it your friend didnt pick that date his future wife did!! She probably doesnt care about football!! I missed my best friend's wedding and we are still best friends to this day.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2013 19:33:15 GMT -6
For me, the thoughts on a funeral would be along the lines of being there for the person's friends and families, my friends and family, depending on who it is exactly. While I can rule out missing a game for a wedding, everything else would be case by case for me.
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Post by amikell on Feb 6, 2013 20:33:22 GMT -6
A few years back a buddy of mine got married during football season. I was in the wedding. The wedding was on Saturday in Atlanta. I live outside of Charlottesville VA. We played on Friday night. I got home around 1 am. Got up at 530 to catch a flight from Richmond to ATL. I was in Atlanta before noon for the wedding around 4. It was a busy weekend. However if you friend is willing to move his wedding day to help accommodate you. Get your a$$ to the wedding. Your star can help with the weekend planning. Now being that your friend is planning on a Friday wedding the. It's a no go.
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Post by CS on Feb 6, 2013 20:40:41 GMT -6
Maybe I'm stating the obvious here, but to me, a funeral isn't in the same category as wedding. If it's a funeral of a family member or friend that I'm close to, I'm going to the funeral. To me, this is almost a case-by-case thing and it's hard to give a simple answer. How many funerals are at night anyway?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2013 21:40:25 GMT -6
Good point.
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Post by mariner42 on Feb 6, 2013 21:42:09 GMT -6
My best friend knows better. If his fiancee (who's actually my ex) wants to have their wedding without his best friend of 20+ years, then I was definitely right for dumping her originally.
Beyond that, I'll move heaven and earth to be there for my friends' special moments, but I have an obligation to be there with the kids. Three years ago, I coached in a game in CA the night before my college friend had an afternoon wedding in WA. I slept for 4 hours after the game, flew out of the airport on the FIRST flight to WA, rented a car, drove 90min to the wedding site, showered and shaved, and got seated about 20min before the ceremony.
Funerals are a circumstance unto themselves, but like someone already pointed out, you're more likely to miss the wake than the funeral itself given the customary timing of them.
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Post by cnunley on Feb 7, 2013 10:53:32 GMT -6
I know you're in a pickle, but as HC you can NOT miss this game. I could understand if you were an assistant and got approval from the HC well ahead of time, I just can't see how this would be any good for your team. I don't think even an assistant should miss for something like this, personally. Oh, I agree completely. I wouldnt miss a game for a wedding. I was just saying I think it would be less distracting for the players, especially if you're the assistant to the assistant WR coach. As far as birth of a child, I'm expecting #2 any day now. My soon to be three year old was a March baby...got to plan that stuff out. lol.
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Post by mrjvi on Feb 7, 2013 11:21:02 GMT -6
My daughters and my extended family know that I won't miss a game during FB season. I've had assistants miss and accepted it but not being the head. My wife's brothers wedding was on a game and I coached. I couldn't feel good about the precedent I would have set and coaching is better than weddings-hands down.
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Post by optioncoach74 on Feb 7, 2013 11:22:50 GMT -6
My brother is getting married on a saturday afternoon during the upcoming season and of course the rehearsal dinner is on Friday night. I finally got the ok from the soon to be wife that Ill be able to miss the dinner...mind you I am also the best man! lol
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Post by larrymoe on Feb 10, 2013 8:07:58 GMT -6
I wouldn't miss a game as head coach to go to my daughter's wedding. I would hope to Christ my daughter would have enough brains to not schedule a wedding on a Friday night during football season.
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Post by larrymoe on Feb 10, 2013 8:10:04 GMT -6
My brother is getting married on a saturday afternoon during the upcoming season and of course the rehearsal dinner is on Friday night. I finally got the ok from the soon to be wife that Ill be able to miss the dinner...mind you I am also the best man! lol My sister got married the Saturday after the Friday night scrimmage my first year as HC here. The rehearsal was on the night of the scrimmage. I didn't go. Wife and kids went, I coached the scrimmage. My mom and sister were pissed, but somehow I managed to be an usher without the elaborate directions I'm sure I would have received that night.
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Post by coachjd on Feb 10, 2013 8:34:51 GMT -6
I have missed numerous weddings over the 24 years of coaching. I flat out tell people, if you are getting married in the fall, please understand you will get a card in the mail. Will not make the wedding. My sister in-law got married in the fall and I refused to go. My wife and kids went and I stayed back to coach and do my weekend duties.
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Post by fballcoachg on Feb 10, 2013 13:19:48 GMT -6
Your buddy will understand you missing, your team parents and most peers will not. Send a gift, write a card and be done with it.
And I don't think a single one of us are bragging, we prioritize the commitment to our program, the same thing we ask of our players. I've missed events and have had people pissed and have had most same people understand, they all get over it.
On the other side, I missed a walk through to make it to a wake, I felt terrible the 8.5 hr drive up and 8.5 hr drive back to get back in time and felt I had cheated my kids. Never again unless its my immediate family or mine. A card, a call, and acknowledgement the next time I'm around will suffice.
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Post by spos21ram on Feb 10, 2013 14:27:44 GMT -6
I wouldn't miss a game for a wedding. Now if it's my children being born? Very very hard to miss that. You have professional athletes miss games for the birth of their child and they are getting paid big dollars to play. I remember the talk shows around here debating whether Tom Brady should be criticized for missing a game for the birth of his child. The situation never happened, baby was born during the week, but he did say he would have missed the game.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747
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Post by coachjd on Feb 10, 2013 14:43:13 GMT -6
When my daughter was born we had a game 14 hours away. We lined it up to have both our moms at our house and we had some local fans who flew a small plain to all our games. I called after our game and my wife was not having any contractions so I took the team bus home. She went into labor on the following Monday and I missed a Monday practice.
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Post by blb on Feb 10, 2013 15:17:35 GMT -6
I've never missed a game but has nothing to do with weddings, funerals, or births.
I've missed two Two-a-Day practices for funeral of my best friend's wife, two for funeral of my Mother-in-Law during Two-a-Days (both out of twon), a Thursday night Pre-Game practice and JV game for birth of our youngest daughter, and two In-Season practices because of a Ruptured Disc.
That's in 29 years as head coach.
Obviously poor planning on my wife's part caused the Thursday night absences.
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Post by coach2013 on Feb 10, 2013 15:27:53 GMT -6
Each coach should outline priorities for himself and his staff as well as for his players. No, I would not miss a game to go to a friends wedding.
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Post by wingtol on Feb 10, 2013 15:43:07 GMT -6
Birth of kids, funerals, that kid of stuff...once in a lifetime. Those are situations where I would say miss a game for it with out even thinking. Sadly what more than 50% of marriages end in divorce now? Could be a chance your buddy/brother/family member will be getting married again sometime so maybe you can make the second wedding
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Post by CoachM58 on Feb 10, 2013 15:48:18 GMT -6
For the wedding, I wouldn't miss. I couldn't see missing the birth of my first born child, or the funeral of a beloved friend or family member.
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Post by blb on Feb 10, 2013 15:58:44 GMT -6
Slightly off-topic, but perhaps a cautionary tale for the Young 'uns of this board:
When we had been married for two and a half years, I took my wife to the Duffy Daugherty-Bud Wilkinson "Coach of the Year" Clinic (the NIKE one now) in Grand Rapids, MI.
Pantland Hotel. Very nice. Lots of high-end shops for her to spend time in while I was listening to speakers and socializing, fine-dining restaurants and room service for two of us together.
Nine months later our first child-daughter was born.
My wife has not been back to a clinic with me since.
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Post by wingtol on Feb 10, 2013 16:15:32 GMT -6
Slightly off-topic, but perhaps a cautionary tale for the Young 'uns of this board: When we had been married for two and a half years, I took my wife to the Duffy Daugherty-Bud Wilkinson "Coach of the Year" Clinic (the NIKE one now) in Grand Rapids, MI. Pantland Hotel. Very nice. Lots of high-end shops for her to spend time in while I was listening to speakers and socializing, fine-dining restaurants and room service for two of us together. Nine months later our first child-daughter was born. My wife has not been back to a clinic with me again. So your "that guy" who brought his wife to a clinic. -100 for you.
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Post by blb on Feb 10, 2013 16:25:11 GMT -6
Slightly off-topic, but perhaps a cautionary tale for the Young 'uns of this board: When we had been married for two and a half years, I took my wife to the Duffy Daugherty-Bud Wilkinson "Coach of the Year" Clinic (the NIKE one now) in Grand Rapids, MI. Pantland Hotel. Very nice. Lots of high-end shops for her to spend time in while I was listening to speakers and socializing, fine-dining restaurants and room service for two of us together. Nine months later our first child-daughter was born. My wife has not been back to a clinic with me again. So your "that guy" who brought his wife to a clinic. -100 for you. Before we got married I was laid off from my first teaching job. She married me anyway. She worked two jobs (plus seasonal Christmas help) while finishing her Bachelors' so we could make it. Going to the clinic-Pantland was supposed to be kind of a reward for her. And if you'd seen my wife you'd understand (she was-is VERY attractive). Actually I suspect most of the coaching jobs I've gotten has had more to do with them wanting her in community than me. At least I was smart enough to bring her along for interviews!
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Post by fantom on Feb 10, 2013 16:35:52 GMT -6
So your "that guy" who brought his wife to a clinic. -100 for you. Before we got married I was laid off from my first teaching job. She married me anyway. She worked two jobs (plus seasonal Christmas help) while finishing her Bachelors' so we could make it. Going to the clinic-Pantland was supposed to be kind of a reward for her. And if you'd seen my wife you'd understand (she was-is VERY attractive). Actually I suspect most of the coaching jobs I've gotten has had more to do with them wanting her in community than me. At least I was smart enough to bring her along for interviews! It's not a bad idea as long as she knows that clinics are like Vegas and what she sees there stays there.
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