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Post by coachstephen on Sept 25, 2012 19:48:27 GMT -6
I had a player that owed me 25 leap frogs after tonight's scrimmage for calling another team's player stupid after last weeks game.
He is one of our less talented players and had been absolutely blasted in the scrimmage, and his father took it upon himself to take his son out and administer the leap frogs and berate his son.When I went to collect my player, he then screamed at me that he is his father yada yada yada.
New to coaching and not really sure how to handle idiot parents, I am definitely not used to have a man screaming at me that I am not allowed to choke out. Any advice from you vets is appreciated.
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Post by bluedevil4 on Sept 25, 2012 21:14:59 GMT -6
Did he administer the leap frogs because you said he had to do them?
What did you say to the dad, and how did you approach him?
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Post by bobgoodman on Sept 25, 2012 21:15:52 GMT -6
I'm confused by the description. Since when is leap frog a punishment? If it was after the scrimmage and the punishment, and his father was there, why were you collecting your player? And what does "choke out" mean?
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Post by Chris Clement on Sept 25, 2012 21:33:41 GMT -6
Yeah, could we get more details, a more thorough timeline of how things happened? Is scrimmage at the end of practice?
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Post by utchuckd on Sept 26, 2012 7:04:01 GMT -6
The way I took it the player acted up, coach said player would owe him 25 leap frogs after practice. Then before the end of practice dad comes and gets player and starts to administer leap frogs and yell at the player. Since practice isn't over yet coach goes to get player and dad lays into coach, prompting coach to want to go Darth Vader on dad:  GIFSoup |
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Post by newt21 on Sept 26, 2012 7:41:58 GMT -6
i always held a parent meeting at the beginning of the season to inform the parents that they are not to contact their children during practice or scrimmage unless there is an injury. i also have them sign a contract saying that they will obey this rule. there is a time and place to be a parent, and this is not it, he needs to let you do your job and not try to do it for you.
if a parent were to yell at me like that, i would simply set up a meeting for another day and inform them that if they would like to have a conversation with you, you will do it away from the kids, and that if he decides to yell at you like that again, that he will simply not be allowed to attend practices (or games, but verify that you have your athletic director and principals support on this matter before you say this).
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Post by coachstephen on Sept 26, 2012 9:45:45 GMT -6
The way I took it the player acted up, coach said player would owe him 25 leap frogs after practice. Then before the end of practice dad comes and gets player and starts to administer leap frogs and yell at the player. Since practice isn't over yet coach goes to get player and dad lays into coach, prompting coach to want to go Darth Vader on dad: GIFSoupYes to make a long story short you have hit the nail on the head sir. Ok, I didn't want my first post to be a long drawn out story, but a few of you have requested more details to provide better advise, so I will make an attempt. The original offense was after our game on Sunday. In the handshake line our player called one of the other teams players stupid. I didn't go on a tirade , but I did use my coach voice and let him know that Chargers do not act that way and that he had extra help after our next practice the following Tuesday. He started crying and I put my arm around him and told him not to be upset, he would do his leapfrogs and practice good sportsmanship from here on out. Our next practice was a scrimmage against the Bears, and I made sure that the player was in every play on defense for the scrimmage since he only averaging around 6 plays on game day as one of our less talented players. I was proud of his scrimmage, he was knocked on his back almost every play, but he got back up and didn't ask to be taken out. On the final play he was looking in the wrong direction and was absolutely blasted off of his feet and left in real tears. He wasn't able to stop the tears so I sent him to the water cooler to spare him from going through the handshake line crying, especially since each player has a few classmates on the other team. This is where his father took over, and unbeknownst to me had the player on the next field over and was administering his own leap frog and verbal punishment. I rounded up the other 3 players that had extra help after Sundays game and when I couldn't find the player I called for him 2 or 3 times. When I spotted him and walked in their direction here is bascially how the conversation went: ME: "Player, come on we got leap frogs to do." Dad: HE"S DOING THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me: "Well he doesn't owe them to you, he owes them to the team" Dad: I'M HIS FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me: "and I'm and his coach and from 5-6pm he is my player" Dad: "HE's MINE, I"M HIS FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me: Ok whatever, and walked away. Then they stormed off. Hindsight is 20/20 and I realize that I could have handled the situation better, but I really walked into an ambush not realizing that there was even a problem. Mainly looking for advise moving forward. By the way our team is 2-0 and playing great, I am going to hate to see the drama if we start losing. |
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Post by bobgoodman on Sept 26, 2012 23:09:00 GMT -6
Is a leap frog what I think it is, i.e. one person vaulting over another who's on all 4s?
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Post by newt21 on Sept 27, 2012 6:42:51 GMT -6
i believe a "leap frog" is simply a jump squat where u have to touch your hands to the ground, but what a leap frog is really isn't the point of this conversation
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Post by coachdoug on Sept 27, 2012 7:57:38 GMT -6
This is where it really pays to have a good parents meeting pre-season and go over your rules for all this sort of thing. Then you can simply remind the offending parent that everyone was told that parents are not allowed to interact with their child during practice unless there's an injury and the parent is invited on the field by a coach. If you haven't done that, you may want to call a parents meeting now and review some of your rules with them. You cannot allow parents to pull kids from practice to administer their own discipline.
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Post by bobgoodman on Sept 27, 2012 17:52:08 GMT -6
i believe a "leap frog" is simply a jump squat where u have to touch your hands to the ground, but what a leap frog is really isn't the point of this conversation I think it might make a difference in my understanding of the father's "administering" them! I was thinking about the size mismatch. It was like an online discussion in the 1990s where a parent referred to a child's getting a "whipping". I had not been familiar with the use of that term to mean something other than the use of an actual whip, but I learned then that it was widespread in a number of other meanings, from spanking to a tongue "lashing". |
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Post by coachstephen on Sept 27, 2012 19:28:29 GMT -6
Thank you for all of the feedback guys. The parent came early before yesterdays practice to apologize to me and the other coaches and we got a good chance to set more realistic expectations for his son.
I never thought that I would have to tell a parent to ease up on the kid!
We did have a parents meeting at the first practice, but there are a few more things that I will know to address next season.This is my first year coaching and although things are going great overall, there are a few things that I never would have thought of without experiencing them first.
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