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Post by fantom on Mar 15, 2012 9:53:46 GMT -6
The link is to a story about a coach who got fired. I don't know the guy, don't know the situation, have no opinion on his firing. What struck me was the email that was attached to the story. Guys, we have to have strong opinions and make candid comments in this business. Be careful. DON'T WRITE IT DOWN. If you write an angry Tweet or email DON'T HIT "SEND". Save it, wait a while, then read it again after you've cooled down before you send it. forthunt.patch.com/articles/henderson-firing-creates-controversy-in-west-potomac-community#pdf-9326332
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Post by fantom on Mar 15, 2012 10:16:13 GMT -6
Let me add:
1. There's not much reason to comment on the actual email. None of us has any idea of the context but I think we can all agree that sending something like that is a bad idea.
2. For those who give kids a written scouting report, be careful what you put in there. If you think that the opposing TB is a pu$$y who'll stop running hard if you hit him DON'T WRITE IT DOWN.
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Post by wingtol on Mar 15, 2012 11:06:30 GMT -6
Here is another great example of when NOT to hit send. This came from a coach at a previous stop in my coaching career. I coach at one of the schools he references in his email now. He kept his job somehow. He is a guidance counselor. deadspin.com/chet-moffett/
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Post by coachcb on Mar 15, 2012 11:17:40 GMT -6
Well, no one accused our profession of fostering geniuses, that's for sure..
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Post by Chris Clement on Mar 15, 2012 11:23:16 GMT -6
So if you can't sit with your parents, and you can't sit with your girlfriend, and you can't sit with your classmates, who the hell do you sit with?
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Post by fantom on Mar 15, 2012 11:34:07 GMT -6
Here is another great example of when NOT to hit send. This came from a coach at a previous stop in my coaching career. I coach at one of the schools he references in his email now. He kept his job somehow. He is a guidance counselor. deadspin.com/chet-moffett/It might not have been smart but it was sure entertaining.
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Post by wingtol on Mar 15, 2012 11:46:29 GMT -6
So if you can't sit with your parents, and you can't sit with your girlfriend, and you can't sit with your classmates, who the hell do you sit with? The best part is this is at an all boys school, so if you didn't sit in the "cheering section" with all boys he labeled you a boy lover. Kind of confused on that LOL
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Post by Chris Clement on Mar 15, 2012 12:44:53 GMT -6
Wouldn't all your classmates be IN the cheering section? I think I'm overthinking the mental process of someone who was being irrational, but still, I take pride in being accurate when I insult somebody.
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Post by fantom on Mar 15, 2012 12:48:10 GMT -6
I do kind of have to scratch my head at a teenager who wants to sit with his parents at a game.
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Post by coachorr on Mar 16, 2012 5:36:50 GMT -6
Wow, I feel embarrassed and sorry for that coach.
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Post by wingt74 on Mar 16, 2012 7:08:45 GMT -6
Read the letter. That's some inappropriate stuff, especially if he meant it. Hard to side with a coach who talks like that about a kid and a family.
To me, that last line sums up this coach's pent up frustration..."He's a joke - like so many of our parents."
This letter getting out, and getting fired will sting in the short term, but I think will be better for this coach in the long term.
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Post by coachorr on Mar 16, 2012 7:20:21 GMT -6
I just had a kid tell me yesterday that he wanted out of my class because he felt singled out by other kids and by me. We talked and came up with a plan where I would work on not singling him out and dissuade the other kids away from him as the center of negative attention.
What happens is this child in particular, very nice boy, is a bit hyper in the afternoons. And other students who are trying to get work done do not appreciate his behavior, nor do I. But, the point of the matter was, that he felt uncomfortable about coming to my class.
I told him, "it's your class and your education, I am just a facilitator. If there is something I am doing to make you feel uncomfortable, I need to change." Why did I say that? The kid is hyper and a little bonkers sometimes and disruptive? I said that and acted that way, because I am the adult and he is just a kid trying to figure things out.
When I called the mom I started the conversation with, "He says things that I have done have made him feel uncomfortable and we have talked about ways I can change my classroom management style to not make him feel this way". Not easy to do, but I think it needs to be done that way. She was well aware of his hyperactivity and immaturity and wanted to apologize to me, but I said I wasn't calling to complain about your son's behavior all kids have their quirks, I am calling to tell you that he and I have talked and about what we are going to work on so he feels like class is enjoyable again.
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Post by mental44 on Mar 16, 2012 7:29:06 GMT -6
Good read. I would say any email that is sent at 3:36 am is a bad idea to begin with!
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Post by coachcb on Mar 16, 2012 7:49:10 GMT -6
It is incredible how many inappropriate emails I have gotten from co-workers and bosses over the years. One of the worst offenders was the head of the entire health and rec center at the college I attended. He was knocking back six figures a year and basically sending out porn every other day.
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Post by fantom on Mar 16, 2012 8:49:38 GMT -6
Read the letter. That's some inappropriate stuff, especially if he meant it. Hard to side with a coach who talks like that about a kid and a family. To me, that last line sums up this coach's pent up frustration..."He's a joke - like so many of our parents." This letter getting out, and getting fired will sting in the short term, but I think will be better for this coach in the long term. Hold on a minute. the problem isn't that he "Talks" like that. Most of us talk like that at some point. Mostly that's anger and frustration and you can take it back and move on. Once it's in writing, though, it never dies. '
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Post by coachorr on Mar 17, 2012 8:37:48 GMT -6
Read the letter. That's some inappropriate stuff, especially if he meant it. Hard to side with a coach who talks like that about a kid and a family. To me, that last line sums up this coach's pent up frustration..."He's a joke - like so many of our parents." This letter getting out, and getting fired will sting in the short term, but I think will be better for this coach in the long term. Hold on a minute. the problem isn't that he "Talks" like that. Most of us talk like that at some point. Mostly that's anger and frustration and you can take it back and move on. Once it's in writing, though, it never dies. ' This is why year round school can be problematic. I always seem more negative after I have not had a break from the kids for a while. I hate to be the negative guy, but like right now, I can definitely feel it right before Spring Break. I have had a few comments come out of my mouth to my wife or close friends that would get me in hot water if it were in an email. Be careful in this day and age of "gotcha". There are ears and eyes everywhere.
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Post by tog on Mar 17, 2012 11:00:53 GMT -6
I treat twitter like this-----if I wouldn't say it in front of my principal in front of the kids, it isn't going on there.
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Post by coachorr on Mar 17, 2012 12:02:15 GMT -6
I treat twitter like this-----if I wouldn't say it in front of my principal in front of the kids, it isn't going on there.
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Post by blb on Mar 17, 2012 12:22:58 GMT -6
What is this "twitter" of which you speak?
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Post by tog on Mar 17, 2012 12:52:24 GMT -6
What is this "twitter" of which you speak? twitter.com/#!/togfootball
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Post by coachwoodall on Mar 18, 2012 18:17:48 GMT -6
Back in the days of snail mail, there wasn't near as much as of this. Time to compose and then usually having to wait until the next day to post the letter usually let the steam die down on these type of rants.
If you really have to put it down in words, then wait 24 hours before you hit send.
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Post by mattyg2787 on Mar 18, 2012 20:16:49 GMT -6
3.36am is probably a bad time to write emails If I'm up at that time, there is usually more then one "drink with dinner" in me.
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Post by coachdennis on Mar 19, 2012 8:03:13 GMT -6
Good read. I would say any email that is sent at 3:36 am is a bad idea to begin with! I had an excellent young coach in our organization send an 11:30 pm e-mail that ended up costing us a very good volunteer. He was frustrated at the end of a long day, and he let his emotions get the better of him. I told him that when you find yourself typing an angry e-mail at that time of the night, it is time to close the lid to the laptop, get yourself a cold beverage, and turn on Sports Center. Those e-mails where people talk about how powerful they are, and how they can destroy this person or that person really get my goat. (My experience is that people who really have that kind of swing don't talk about it.) This strikes me as the ramblings of a guy who needed a reality check - sounds like he just got one. Hopefully he learns from it...
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Post by coachcb on Mar 19, 2012 8:28:45 GMT -6
I just had a kid tell me yesterday that he wanted out of my class because he felt singled out by other kids and by me. We talked and came up with a plan where I would work on not singling him out and dissuade the other kids away from him as the center of negative attention. What happens is this child in particular, very nice boy, is a bit hyper in the afternoons. And other students who are trying to get work done do not appreciate his behavior, nor do I. But, the point of the matter was, that he felt uncomfortable about coming to my class. I told him, "it's your class and your education, I am just a facilitator. If there is something I am doing to make you feel uncomfortable, I need to change." Why did I say that? The kid is hyper and a little bonkers sometimes and disruptive? I said that and acted that way, because I am the adult and he is just a kid trying to figure things out. When I called the mom I started the conversation with, "He says things that I have done have made him feel uncomfortable and we have talked about ways I can change my classroom management style to not make him feel this way". Not easy to do, but I think it needs to be done that way. She was well aware of his hyperactivity and immaturity and wanted to apologize to me, but I said I wasn't calling to complain about your son's behavior all kids have their quirks, I am calling to tell you that he and I have talked and about what we are going to work on so he feels like class is enjoyable again. You're a better man than I am coach. The "you're making me uncomfortable" comments p-ss me off to no end. It's seems like a new buzz phrase the kids throw around whenever they are disciplined. I hear it and all I can think about is that comedy skit with the actor pointing at the nether-regions of a doll and saying "Danger zone... Stranger danger..".It's real easy for a kid to avoid being singled out; stop acting like a jackass. I have a senior that is ADD beyond ADD. I got the same load of crap from him at parent teacher conferences. He feels "picked on" in my class. All because he acts like a squirrel on Redbull, can't shut his trap and gets kicked out. I didn't tell his mom I was going to change my teaching style. I told her he had one more chance before we met with the principal and had him removed from my class because he set his class a period behind every other day with his b.s. He started taking his Ritalin the next day and is much more manageable. Mainly because he just sleeps now..
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Post by coachorr on Mar 19, 2012 8:34:46 GMT -6
CB, you are making me uncomfortable. :-)
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Post by coachwoodall on Mar 19, 2012 8:46:05 GMT -6
I don't buy ADD/ADHD. The only true disability I have come across is AH. And some kids do get it honest.
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Post by coachcb on Mar 19, 2012 8:50:10 GMT -6
I don't buy ADD/ADHD. The only true disability I have come across is AH. And some kids do get it honest. I guess this ties into the original conversation as there are times when you should "hit send".
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Post by coachorr on Mar 19, 2012 8:53:10 GMT -6
Kids definitely single themselves out with immature behavior.
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Post by coachcb on Mar 19, 2012 9:18:33 GMT -6
There's just that accusatory aspect to the way kids word things that makes me want to fire off emails explaining to everyone involved just how comfortable the real-world is going to make these kids feel when they don't control themselves. And, I'm not talking about 4-5 years down the road when they graduate; I'm talking about right now. Most of my kids work part-time jobs and are going to get laughed off of the job site when they whine about being "uncomfortable".
I love teaching, I honestly do. I may complain about it but one of the things I love most is dishing out reality to kids and parents that need it. My students know I care about them but also know I won't sugar-coat anything when they're being difficult.
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Post by fantom on Mar 19, 2012 9:46:06 GMT -6
There's just that accusatory aspect to the way kids word things that makes me want to fire off emails explaining to everyone involved just how comfortable the real-world is going to make these kids feel when they don't control themselves. And, I'm not talking about 4-5 years down the road when they graduate; I'm talking about right now. Most of my kids work part-time jobs and are going to get laughed off of the job site when they whine about being "uncomfortable". I love teaching, I honestly do. I may complain about it but one of the things I love most is dishing out reality to kids and parents that need it. My students know I care about them but also know I won't sugar-coat anything when they're being difficult. A friend's wife asked me once how I adjust my teaching if I have a kid with ADD in class (background: her son, who she was talking about, once made national news by getting caught selling his Ritalin around the school). I told her the truth- that I have 25 kids in the class and limited time so I can't adjust too much. He needs to get ready for the real world by learning to adjust himself. Once he gets out of school nobody cares that he has ADD. She got mad and hasn't talked to me since. Never really liked her much anyway.
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