How would you want to be approached?

Unfortunately, coach, there is no one approach that will work in all situations - every coach is an individual and how to best approach him will have lot more to do with that individual's personality than the fact that he's a youth football coach.

For instance, if your kid was on my team and you introduced yourself to me and mentioned that you had been coaching at the local HS for some time, probably the first words out of my mouth would be, "Hey, I know you've got a heavy schedule with the HS and all, but if you can spare some time, I'd love to have you help out with our team - if you can coach with us great, if not, maybe you can just help me coach some of the newer coaches and bring them up to speed on current techniques and such. Maybe share some of your best drills and techniques with us ... what do you say?" Other coaches, however, will feel threatened and immediately get their backs up as soon as they realize you know more than they do.

Having said that, there are a few things you can do that will increase your likelihood of success if you get a difficult guy. First of all, don't criticize - if you start off the conversation with "Hey coach, I coach at the HS and I couldn't help but notice that you're doing everything wrong. Man, no one's taught tackling that way since the 80s and the blocking technique you're using is from the 60s! Why don't you let me help you and show your coaches how it's done," well, don't expect a very friendly reception (obviously I'm exaggerating for effect, but hopefully you get the point).

Secondly, offer yourself as a resource rather than a savior. Most youth coaches have substantial egos (they’re not doing it for money, so in a lot of cases they’re either coaching to promote their own kid or to feed their ego – not all, a lot of us coach because we love the game and we want to help young boys grow into men, but be aware that plenty of daddyballers are out there), so they are not going to respond well to being told that they need help. But, if you let them know that you can help them reach their goals and make them look good, that will appeal more to that type of coach. Be sure to make it clear that you’re not looking for credit – you can help the coach and then he’ll look like a genius.

Third, if you know you’re dealing with a daddyballer, do a little homework and find out a little about his background. A lot of daddyballer coaches have had some success in business or some other area of their life, so their ego tells them, “Hey, you’ve made millions in real estate/biotech/internet/sales/etc, how hard can it be to get a bunch of kids to execute some simple plays?” If you know a little about him, you can appeal to his ego a bit when you talk to him. For instance, “Hey coach, I know you’re a successful sales manager at XYZ Company – I’m really glad to see you out here – I’m sure your professional experience will really help you out here. As I’m sure you know, being organized and having a well thought out plan are keys to any endeavor, whether it’s business or coaching sports. Just as you’ve done well at XYZ Company, I’ve had a pretty good career coaching football here at Central HS, so I have a ton of resources that can really help you and the team. We have practice plans, game plan sheets, stat software, video software, a gazillion coaching videos, etc that I can share with you. If you have some time why don’t we get together over a cup of coffee, or shoot, just come down to my office at the HS and I’ll show you everything we use. It could really give you a leg up on all the teams you’ll be coaching against. You got your calendar handy? I can meet with you tomorrow at 10:15 or Thurs at 1:30 – which one is better for you?”

If you get some pushback, you can appeal to his business success - "Hey, at your job do you ever get frustrated that new hires want to do everything their own way and not follow the advice of guys like you that have already had success? And don't the guys that follow your advice/coaching the closest have the most success? It's the same way in coaching - on our staff at the high school the young guys on our staff that are coachable themselves and follow the HC's program the closest end up doing the best. So, as a new/inexperienced coach yourself, don't you think the same process would apply? I have a track record of doing this successfully - why don't you let me help you? Look, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, and I certainly don't want to run this team or take any credit for its success - I just want to help you and help the team, which in turn will help my kids. You know what I'm saying works in your business, so don't you think it will work the same way for you with regard to coaching? Let me be a resource for you."

Well, those ideas will increase your chances of having a productive conversation with the coach, but just be prepared that some guys are so insecure that they are terrified of talking with anyone that can recognize that they don’t know what they’re doing, and those guys are never going to let you anywhere near their team or their staff. Hopefully those types are becoming more rare, and you won’t find that on your team, but unless you decide to volunteer to coach the team yourself, it’s going to be the luck of the draw.

Good luck to you, coach. Let us know how it goes.

You could offer to put on a free clinic for the youth coach's,go over safety issues,rule changes,basic fundamentals,stuff like that......if our HS put on something like that,I'd go and try to learn something......otherwise, I'd definitely at least go watch a few practices, make sure they aren't ramming heads at 10 yds apart, like angry bighorn sheep. The only thing any HS coach ever told me during the many seasons I coached, was to teach the kids to tackle safely.One of his players had broken his neck that same season,lowering his head and tackling low. So I guess that really scared him. The kid that got hurt never played youth football by the way, but started his career on the schools jr high team. His youngest son(9) was on my team that season and he would come down and watch our practice occasionally from outside the fence. I guess we weren't doing anything too stupid cause he never made any other comments. But if he had, I'd have listened and if it was a better way to do something, I'd have dang sure used it!

Im a youth football coach so i'll chime in here...We have ran into this problem many times.Sibling or other family member or even the player has had a bad experience.If I were you this is what I would do...

-Talk to the league about the possible teams your son will be on & then get in touch with that coach.
-Address what is important to you about your kids as a parent rather than a HS football coach
-Gather info on that coach.
-Is he is a win at all costs coach which plays his not so good players the minimum amount?
-Is he a teach football type of coach where regardless of his the teams win/loss record all kids play & develop while learning good football fundamentals while they have fun.These are few but they are out there.
-The team I'm part of has 3 levels on it.We are our own independent team and choose what league we want to be in.The league allows parents who aren't part of a team yet to get in touch with a coach for reasons stated above
-On our 3-5th grade team this year we had a high school varsity head coach as a dad that we didnt even know was a coach because he let the coaches do there thing without getting involved in that part.I would say either stay out & just be a parent or let the coach know your a high school coach & if he ever needs help your there but you'll back him on what he is doing with your sons.
-Tons of youth coaches will accept help/suggestions/drills,ect...There aren't that many that wont.The good coaches will because they know it will make them better coaches but also help the kids which is the main goal.

If you have any questions at all about youth ball let me know.

Better question. How do you go about finding a qualified coach for your son to play for for his first year as a first grader?

Coincidently, I coach HS baseball too and my 10 year olds coach asks me for advice all of the time. I told him that if one of his players is taking lessons to NOT change anything he has been taught. Parents are paying for lessons and they wouldn't like to have someone undue what they are paying for. I am like this with my HS players.

^{You could offer to put on a free clinic for the youth coach's,go over safety issues,rule changes,basic fundamentals,stuff like that.}

Los, this will be our second year that our HS staff will be putting on a free youth clinic for local youth coaches. We enjoy sharing and talking football and it gives us an opportunity to build relationships with local community youth coaches. Having a quality feeder system where kids are being coached properly is every HS coaches dream. I'd suggest to any youth coach, approach your local HS head coach about putting on a youth clinic, he'd probably jump at the chance to help you.

Baseball and football to me are very different when comes to technique.

There are many different ways to teach hitting: how to hold the bat, your hands, feet and hip rotation. Too many things to contradict, but the bottom line is if it ain't broke don't fix it. If the kid can hit, he can hit.

With football, if a kid went to a camp and was taught something different than what I teach, I'd ask what, and maybe use that myself. With football I worry more about schemes than how. If a kid can catch or throw or block, there's only the scheme to worry about.