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Post by TMGPG on Jan 5, 2012 10:24:25 GMT -6
I have a kid on the team that decided it would be a great idea to turn all Gothic and wear the tight fitting jeans, weird piercings, make-up, and the whole shebang. The kid looks like a freak and I don't want him looking like that and representing our team. He is a decent player though which is kind of crazy but how do I go about dealing with this? Parents are crazy which makes this situation even more of mess.
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Post by groundchuck on Jan 5, 2012 10:30:08 GMT -6
One approach is to say as long as he is not disrespectful or breaking the rules of the school and high school league let it be. We don't allow any earrings or piercings on the field for safety reasons. Nobody can argue with that. You could also say when players are in football functions (ie wt room, practice, games, game day) they have to put some of their individuality away and conform to team standards. The rest of the time they can be themselves.
Not saying this is THE answer but it is one approach.
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Post by lochness on Jan 5, 2012 10:38:57 GMT -6
We had a kid like that (except no piercings...at least in places that we knew of) who just graduated. He was an all-state lineman at offensive tackle and a 3-year starter. He was a captain his junior and senior years and one of the best teammates / players / character guys I've ever coached. He'll be going to a local community college next year, and we're going to ask him if he'd like to coach Frosh OL.
It's not what's on the outside that counts. Diversity is a good thing.
That's just my humble opinion.
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Post by fantom on Jan 5, 2012 10:39:22 GMT -6
One approach is to say as long as he is not disrespectful or breaking the rules of the school and high school league let it be. We don't allow any earrings or piercings on the field for safety reasons. Nobody can argue with that. You could also say when players are in football functions (ie wt room, practice, games, game day) they have to put some of their individuality away and conform to team standards. The rest of the time they can be themselves. Not saying this is THE answer but it is one approach. If the kid isn't doing anything wrong according to school rules then I have bigger things to worry about. |
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Post by coachorr on Jan 5, 2012 10:47:23 GMT -6
We have had some kids like this on our team and they have not been a distraction, however, they did niot have the piericings and the makeup per se. Sometimes the motto of these kids is to be straight edge and to live as clean as possible. I am not sure I would have much of a problem with it, unless his specific behavior was a distraction to the team.
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Post by fballcoachg on Jan 5, 2012 10:47:34 GMT -6
you don't deal with it, there is nothing to deal with. The kid looks a certain way, so what, not breaking school rules, doing what he's supposed to do, I'm assuming puts in the work since he's a decent player, no problem here, you will be opening up a much larger can of worms if you even approach it.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 5, 2012 10:48:18 GMT -6
There's nothing you can do other than follow school and team policy. You can't dictate his personal life.
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Post by TMGPG on Jan 5, 2012 11:19:13 GMT -6
Thanks
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Post by coachbdud on Jan 5, 2012 11:47:45 GMT -6
Let him be
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Post by tvt50 on Jan 5, 2012 16:09:28 GMT -6
Our alltime leading rusher at our school wore tight jeans and was a jerk dancers and had piercings in his eyes and lips. Also had lipstick tatoos and even got a betty bop tatoo on his chest. Went for over 2000 yds his senior year. Some kids are different.
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Post by Chris Clement on Jan 6, 2012 0:00:05 GMT -6
It's a fashion choice. He's sixteen. Just shake your head at him and let him be.
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Post by julien on Jan 6, 2012 0:55:34 GMT -6
I am not coaching in a scholastic environement but I agree with previous posters: let him be.
I deal with a lot of different guys here. Different religions, citizenships, habits, clothes etc.
I don't care till they behave.
The only player we get rid off was a guy with Nazi tatoos.
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Post by calkayne on Jan 6, 2012 6:00:16 GMT -6
I remember when I was a kid and had long hair...
If he is a cutter then give him help, if its just personal taste then let him be.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 6, 2012 9:44:54 GMT -6
How he dresses? Seriously man... I've got kids who are alcoholics, Heroin users, Theives, live where ever they can stay, raise them self and sometimes their parents and/or siblings, gang bangers (3 of them shot up a house last summer), are abused by their parents, have parents in prison and other parent is an addict, them self is on probation, etc, etc. How the kid dresses?? At least he's dressed and at school. We should do a job swap for a day, coach. It'd be interesting to compare the wide variety of crime our respective kids get into. Yours abuse heroin, mine dilute Lysol and drink it (not sh-tting you)... However, because of the isolation and other particulars, our kids don't get caught. |
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Post by julien on Jan 6, 2012 11:02:33 GMT -6
How he dresses? Seriously man... I've got kids who are alcoholics, Heroin users, Theives, live where ever they can stay, raise them self and sometimes their parents and/or siblings, gang bangers (3 of them shot up a house last summer), are abused by their parents, have parents in prison and other parent is an addict, them self is on probation, etc, etc. How the kid dresses?? At least he's dressed and at school. We should do a job swap for a day, coach. It'd be interesting to compare the wide variety of crime our respective kids get into. Yours abuse heroin, mine dilute Lysol and drink it (not sh-tting you)... However, because of the isolation and other particulars, our kids don't get caught. God! Where are you both coaching?? |
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Post by rsmith627 on Jan 6, 2012 11:12:15 GMT -6
Mine are bloods and crips, but some aren't even real bloods and crips, they are wannabe thugs, which in my mind is almost worse. Why would you walk around wishing you could be a real loser?
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Post by John Knight on Jan 6, 2012 11:27:00 GMT -6
dcohio, that last post explains your post about what you don't like about your job. Man, that is not a fun environment. I will quit griping about my little town.
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Post by coachcb on Jan 6, 2012 12:44:05 GMT -6
At the end of the day - they are just kids who are trying to grow up as best they can inspite of their problems and it seems to me that they need someone, who doesn't judge them, who is willing to fight with them for them, who will try to build them a tunnel and waive the light at the end for them to see and to stay on their @$$ and make sure they don't venture far from the path without a fight. So some of the stuff like tobacco, language, clothing, etc. - yea, those are problems that are so far down the list they are written on the back of the list. That pretty much sums up more feelings on the situation. You really can't work where I'm at if you don't have that attitude. All of my co-workers try to do the same but they don't have the same blunt mentality. For example, I had a long conversation with our starting QB last year about boozing. He opened up and told me about how he had moved around four times in five years because his mom was always in rehab. Two weeks ago, I found out he was ripped-up drunk at a basketball game...Most of the other teachers around here would have waived their finger at him and then called the administration. I didn't. I pulled that boy aside and lit into him like you wouldn't believe. I said some really blunt, honest things to him and put him in tears. I might have gotten fired if I were working anywhere else. But, he and his dad came and thanked me the next day. |
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Post by hamerhead on Jan 6, 2012 16:08:22 GMT -6
My All-Conference running back has a little brother who's in 7th Grade and is substantially bigger than his older brother already (though, his older brother is tiny as hell. Glad he's fast...). Younger brother dresses the same way, completely into the "emo" culture. Fast as hell, big, strong kid. PE teacher raves about him. Zero interest in football. None. Outside a game last year he was drug by mom to watch his older brother play. After the game I'm with both boys talking to the mom. She says "Coach, tell this one he should play football too!" I said "Ma'am, he and I have talked about that. But he's a young man that is growing up, he's going to have to make his own decisions." Little bro starts ranting "See! That's what I've been telling you! It's my life! I need to make my own decisions and do what I WANT TO DO!" I said "Whoa! You do get to make some decisions on your own in life and you'll make a lot more as you get older, but one of those decisions does not get to be disrespecting your mother. That's not a privilege you get, got it?" "Yes sir." I walked away and left the whole family flabergasted. It was a blast.  Still hoping to get him out though. |
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Post by coachmoore42 on Jan 6, 2012 20:25:13 GMT -6
You should start wearing tight-fitting jeans, black make-up, and (fake) piercings...then go sit next to him at the lunch table for a few days.
He'll probably quit wearing that stuff after a while, lol.
Seriously though, like others have said, you would have no ground to stand on and there have to be bigger issues to deal with.
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Post by Chris Clement on Jan 7, 2012 0:40:56 GMT -6
Please do, and post video for us.
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Post by TMGPG on Jan 7, 2012 6:06:31 GMT -6
You should start wearing tight-fitting jeans, black make-up, and (fake) piercings...then go sit next to him at the lunch table for a few days. He'll probably quit wearing that stuff after a while, lol. Seriously though, like others have said, you would have no ground to stand on and there have to be bigger issues to deal with. I agree, that would be pretty funny. |
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Still hoping to get him out though. 