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Post by reevekyle on Nov 11, 2011 13:07:43 GMT -6
Scenario: I'm the DC, 1-8 season, our defense got torched nearly every week from poor execution.
Gave players evaluations of the program with a section to fill out about each coach. I got hammered by the kids saying that I was too negative. The more I reflect on it the more I agree but at the same time I can't be too positive when we're getting smoked every week. I feel like I lost the guys towards the end of the season which only compounded my frustration and our execution.
What do you guys do to help keep a positive attitude when things are simply not going well?
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Post by coachfd on Nov 11, 2011 13:24:27 GMT -6
A coach has to think in terms of the negative (so that you can work on correcting and improving it), but speak and act in the positive. Words and actions create the expectations, and expectations create reality.
Just be aware of what you are thinking, what you are saying, and how you are saying it.
Always ask yourseld: What is the best way to improve this situation, or provide this instruction?
Also, try picking a coaching role model who is more positive, or more calm (Pete Carroll, Tony Dungy, etc.), and then visualize how that person would speak or act in a certain situation.
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Post by coachfd on Nov 11, 2011 13:25:31 GMT -6
Always Be Positive.
Being positive won't necessarily guarantee that you'll succeed...
But being negative will guarantee that you don't.
Always be positive.
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Post by emptybackfield on Nov 11, 2011 16:19:56 GMT -6
Focus your feedback on being constructive, and the positive will take care of itself.
Don't say things like, "That's awful technique, no wonder we're getting our {censored} kicked"
Instead say, "Your technique has to become a lot better if you're going to be the player you're capable of being, and it all starts with a good stance. Not having enough weight on your hand is causing you to false step."
Yes, it takes a lot more effort and no coach on Earth coaches like that all the time. But, make an effort to do that and you'll get more out of your practices and kids.
I also hate "mindless coaching". For example, if a player drops a pass or misses a throw, there is always a coach that says, "catch the ball" or "put it on him." No sh!t! Players know they need to catch the ball and make the throw. Saying those things is a waste of energy and effort. How about coaching how they can make the throw or catch the ball next time?
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Post by coachcb on Nov 11, 2011 17:10:38 GMT -6
We also had a terrible year on defense and it was also due to extremely poor execution. I know how you feel coach, it's hard to have three players whiff on tackles and watch the ball carrier walk into the end zone. Especially after you spend 20 minutes doing tackling drills, every single day. Or watch them get mauled up front because they aren't shedding blocks like you rep and preach for 15 minutes each day..
I have learned to replace my anger with cold honesty. There are times when you should be angry and you shouldn't convey positivity to the kids because it looks fake. You need a contrast to the positive side so that the positive attitude truly means something to them.
Now, this is all tone of voice with me. The kids know I'm p-ssed when my voice goes flat. They stop and friggin listen when this happens. There's no way in h-ll that I am going to have an upbeat tone to my voice when we have six fumbles in a game when we stress and rep ball security every single, GD day.
There are times when you need to tell the kids that a team hung 60 points on you because of poor fundamentals. There is a time where you need to tell them that the next team will do the same thing unless stuff changes. BUT, you don't have to scream to get that point across; just be honest.
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Post by planck on Nov 11, 2011 19:37:54 GMT -6
It's OK to be negative in your internal monologue. Half of being a coach is identifying what needs to improve and how. The other half is teaching how to improve and motivating players to become better. The latter half is what shows up on the outside.
Being positive doesn't mean ignoring problems. It means dealing with those problems while building up yourself and those around you.
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Post by coachkylemlinek2 on Nov 14, 2011 9:56:38 GMT -6
Scenario: I'm the DC, 1-8 season, our defense got torched nearly every week from poor execution. Gave players evaluations of the program with a section to fill out about each coach. I got hammered by the kids saying that I was too negative. The more I reflect on it the more I agree but at the same time I can't be too positive when we're getting smoked every week. I feel like I lost the guys towards the end of the season which only compounded my frustration and our execution. What do you guys do to help keep a positive attitude when things are simply not going well? It's not exactly ROCKET SCIENCE there GENIUS. You don't have to read a whole bunch of books on it or anything. JUST BE NICE. Is that so hard? Stop yelling at every little thing like a dumb {censored} and relax. Maybe if you LISTENED once in a while to your PLAYERS and realized that they are PEOPLE you'd get it. Now... tell me how that makes you feel? Angry? Did my point get through to you? No? At what point did you want to flip me off and stop reading? Maybe you're not doing any of that which I just did, but eventually the players are going to start to blame someone other than themselves (like any person would), and if they don't like you you're also going to look like an {censored} to them. I think getting a team to buy in is like leading a cult. You've got to point to the horrible status of our lives because of X and you've got to point to the brilliant future ahead, but instead of killing them selves they're going to win football games. A lot of people say you've got to say 5 good things to every 1 negative thing. It's the 5x1 rule. |
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Nov 14, 2011 10:29:35 GMT -6
Easy fix- preface every negative convo with a positive and use "I/WE" statements instead of "you"...
"Mike, I LOVE the way you played hard every down this year...you really gained my respect in doing so. OUR technique left a lot to be desired...in plain honesty it stunk. WE have to get better through dedication this off-season and attention to detail going into camp next year to remain a starter on the DL..."
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Post by coachcb on Nov 14, 2011 10:32:54 GMT -6
I have learned to replace my anger with cold honesty. I'm with you on that. But that's typically considered negative too and it has been my experience that most people would rather hear total BS than the God's honest truth. I've been told that too. We lost a game that kept us completely out of play-off contention mainly because a few seniors decided practice wasn't worth their time. We benched their lazy a--es for it. I don't generally address a team negatively right after a game but I was p-ssed off at the overall bullsh-t attitude towards the loss. I pulled out my flattest tone of voice and told them that they lost this game because their buddies would rather play X-Box than practice. I told them that they had better start policing themselves too because they don't listen to the coaches for sh-t. I didn't yell, I didn't swear, just stated the facts. I got chewed out for "singling out" the seniors. |
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Post by fantom on Nov 14, 2011 10:54:39 GMT -6
I like the car commercial with Phil Jackson. A restaurant owner is complaining about his staff and Jackson says, "I've found that anger is the enemy of instruction".
I think you need to try to word criticism in instructional terms and to keep the talk in positive terms.
Instead of, "Lousy tackle," say, " You've gotta get your head across and wrap up".
Instead of, "You can't get beat deep," try, "You have to keep your cushion. Keep it in front of you".
I'm not saying it's easy. At first it will take a conscious effort until it becomes a habit.
Also, as others have said, take the emotion out of it. If everybody's not running to the ball they get one warning. If it happens again we just blow the whistle and do a pursuit drill.
It's not easy. There will still be flareups (I try to limit mine to three things: 1. Poor effort; 2. Repeated mental errors; 3. Not paying attention) but you won't go home with a headache as often.
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Post by coachcb on Nov 14, 2011 12:43:28 GMT -6
@dcohio
That's my thought as well; I'm not going to screw around when something needs to be said. I do try to put a positive spin on it for those kids that are working hard and doing the things they need to do.
I have gotten better about praising those that do work hard when I'm giving them an a-- chewing. And turning it all back on the sloths. We were watching film and our OLB's turned everything back inside the way they were taught. They crushed blocks using proper form. But, everyone inside of them just forgot all of the fundamentals that we repped and repped and f-ing repping. A few of them just free-lanced it.
"See here, Jeff's kills that block, turns it inside and no one is there. Yup, Kris did the same thing the play before. Levi, you dropped a shoulder into the fullback instead of using your hands and got pinned to the inside. Mike you tried to run around the playside guard and took a bad angle. Audric, you didn't mirror step with the TE, you slanted to the inside and got pinned. I'm pretty sure no one has taught you to slant BECAUSE WE DON'T DO IT. If you guys paid attention and worked the way Jeff and Kris do, we shut this team down completely. I feel bad for those two and the rest of your teammates that do what's asked of them. I know I'm frustrated watching this happen on film, having to line up and play with some of you has to be worse. I don't care if you guys play for the coaches; it's the guys next to you that you're accountable to."
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Post by fantom on Nov 14, 2011 12:53:40 GMT -6
I also hate the sweetness and light approach but think that being positive and being direct do not have to be mutually exclusive.
Saying, "Jimmy, you're giving great effort and you're in the right place but they're running by you like you were a freakin traffic cone," is a little much for me. but it's not much harder to say, "Jimmy, keep it in front of you and break better on the ball".
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Post by coachcb on Nov 14, 2011 13:36:47 GMT -6
I also hate the sweetness and light approach but think that being positive and being direct do not have to be mutually exclusive. Saying, "Jimmy, you're giving great effort and you're in the right place but they're running by you like you were a freakin traffic cone," is a little much for me. but it's not much harder to say, "Jimmy, keep it in front of you and break better on the ball". I agree, my rant in the film session was born out of the fact that this kind of play was a common occurrence. It had been addressed repeatedly and a TON of practice devoted to fixing it. But, it just kept up. But, this has been an isolated scenario for me because I didn't have the numbers to replace the idiots without losing the program. I don't get on the kids hard unless it is an obvious attitude issue. I provide as much positive, specific feedback as possible. But, I can only say and demonstrate proper shedding, tackling (etc) technique so much, watch the sh-t show on film and NOT get after them. I still try to be as specific as possible but that gets lost in translation some times. |
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Post by robinhood on Nov 14, 2011 13:42:38 GMT -6
1. The players on any team don't have another team to which to go. They have no choice but to stay where they are and deal with what's going on, some of which they may not like.
2. If you really want people to listen to you, LOWER your voice. After a while, the kids just tune out the noise of your shouting.
3. The essence of coaching is the correction of errors, be they mental or physical. You can't only vent your frustration to the players (see #2). Eventually, you have to get them to improve by teaching them how to correct their mistakes.
4. If I my coach yelled at me too often, I would have a bad attitude, too.
5. When a player doesn't execute, there are only three true reasons why: he doesn't know what he's supposed to do; he doesn't know how to do what he's supposed to do; he's being asked to do something he can't do. I guess he could be failing because he doesn't give a rodent rump, but, then, why are you playing him.
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Post by robinhood on Nov 14, 2011 13:55:03 GMT -6
coachcb:
If you HAVE to play these guys because you don't have anyone else, don't beat yourself up over it; don't raise your stress level over them; it probably won't make any difference. You are stuck with them, and they know it. Wait until next season.
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Post by coachcb on Nov 14, 2011 14:17:50 GMT -6
coachcb: If you HAVE to play these guys because you don't have anyone else, don't beat yourself up over it; don't raise your stress level over them; it probably won't make any difference. You are stuck with them, and they know it. Wait until next season. Our numbers are bad enough that there probably won't be a next year. |
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Post by CoachMikeJudy on Nov 14, 2011 14:28:00 GMT -6
whitemike - now see that p!sses me off when people do that to me. "I want you to know that I think you're a great coach, you do a great job preparing your kids, but..." JESUS H...how about you skip over the damm bush instead of beating around it. Why use 150 words when it can be said in under 10? Are you really trying to save my feelings? Why? At the end of all your BS you're going to say something I don't want to hear so how about you just spit it out so I don't get all bent out of shape having to hearing a bunch of BS that only serves to make you feel better about whatever you're going to say. It pi$$es you off because hearing that makes you feel like a jackass just like getting chewed out would  And if it pi$$es the kid off then maybe he'll fix the problem. I'm a yeller and a screamer by nature. When kids are having a crappy drill I'm the guy on staff that stops everything and every body to b!tch them out. Usually someone's manhood is challenged but that's how I do it. So to say I don't b!itch people out would be ridiculous...I do it with the best of them. In this situation, specifically a one-on-one evaluation with a kid I think the former approach (make him feel like a slappy through pseudo-guilt tripping) is the best way to get them to fix it. Kids are more likely to respond to you if they think you're on their side. Even if deep inside I wouldn't give the kid two squirts of pi$$ if his tonsils were on fire... Goddamm teaching elementary school is killing me...getting soft these days |
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Post by mholst40 on Nov 14, 2011 14:31:06 GMT -6
At an AFCA or Nike coaching clinic a few years back I sat in on a motivational speaker who addressed dealing with the 21st century athlete. The speaker suggested always correcting players by telling them what they did positively and ending with the negative. But, the negative has to be phrased correctly.
Example: "Johnny, you did a wonderful job reading the down block from the tackle and squeezing him, NOW (instead of but) you need to make sure you spill the pulling guard to make us successful on the play."
Yelling at kids for things they know they did wrong is pointless. We need to find the reasons behind the mistakes. Sometimes I find myself yelling simply because I am frustrated. Then, I try to calm myself down before approaching anyone to be corrected.
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Post by coachcb on Nov 14, 2011 14:41:44 GMT -6
At an AFCA or Nike coaching clinic a few years back I sat in on a motivational speaker who addressed dealing with the 21st century athlete. The speaker suggested always correcting players by telling them what they did positively and ending with the negative. But, the negative has to be phrased correctly. Example: "Johnny, you did a wonderful job reading the down block from the tackle and squeezing him, NOW (instead of but) you need to make sure you spill the pulling guard to make us successful on the play." Yelling at kids for things they know they did wrong is pointless. We need to find the reasons behind the mistakes. Sometimes I find myself yelling simply because I am frustrated. Then, I try to calm myself down before approaching anyone to be corrected. We all tend to agree that yelling is counter-productive. However, several of us have been dealing with situations where we haven't been yelling, just being honest. And, it is construed as being "negative". |
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Post by tothehouse on Nov 14, 2011 17:37:04 GMT -6
A fellow defensive coach and I had this thing. Whenever either of us were overly chewing kids negatively we'd chime in quietly..."Coach. 3 positives before 1 negative". And then we'd both laugh uncontrollably.
Get the message across...if you're negative sometimes. So be it. Are these kids bosses going to be NICE all the time?
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Post by reevekyle on Nov 14, 2011 19:28:07 GMT -6
@dcohio That's my thought as well; I'm not going to screw around when something needs to be said. I do try to put a positive spin on it for those kids that are working hard and doing the things they need to do. I have gotten better about praising those that do work hard when I'm giving them an a-- chewing. And turning it all back on the sloths. We were watching film and our OLB's turned everything back inside the way they were taught. They crushed blocks using proper form. But, everyone inside of them just forgot all of the fundamentals that we repped and repped and f-ing repping. A few of them just free-lanced it. "See here, Jeff's kills that block, turns it inside and no one is there. Yup, Kris did the same thing the play before. Levi, you dropped a shoulder into the fullback instead of using your hands and got pinned to the inside. Mike you tried to run around the playside guard and took a bad angle. Audric, you didn't mirror step with the TE, you slanted to the inside and got pinned. I'm pretty sure no one has taught you to slant BECAUSE WE DON'T DO IT. If you guys paid attention and worked the way Jeff and Kris do, we shut this team down completely. I feel bad for those two and the rest of your teammates that do what's asked of them. I know I'm frustrated watching this happen on film, having to line up and play with some of you has to be worse. I don't care if you guys play for the coaches; it's the guys next to you that you're accountable to." Lots of good stuff on here. I've noticed that it seems like its a lot of defensive coaches chiming in, wonder why that is! Few things to clarify from my original post. 1. I don't feel like I did that much flat out yelling at my players. There were times that I did sure but everyone has those moments. 2. I feel like I did a good job of pairing my negative criticism with a negative for the most part. Could I have done a better job with this? Apparently. 3. I am a young coach, 27. I hear of the dangers of becoming to buddy buddy with athletes when you're a young coach so I wanted to make sure that didn't happen. I must have taken it a step too far though looking back. 4. It seems I had a similar situation to CoachCB. The same mistakes happening over and over again is what really gets my blood boiling. We had the opposite happen. Awesome pursuit from the inside but no force on the outside. How do you guys handle this, when the same mistakes are constantly being made? |
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Post by fballcoachg on Nov 14, 2011 19:32:52 GMT -6
One of our former QBs came to me and told me I am very bi-polar on the field, one second calmly explaining the next blowing up then back to explaining. In jest he said maybe we should dedicate days to moods, Mental Monday's (correct, install, prepare day...emphasis on teaching), Tough it out Tuesdays (I get to be as big of a raging lunatic as need be), and Worry Free Wednesdays (everything is positive, if a kid f's up just put the next one in). Obviously he said all of this tongue in cheek but he may be on to something...I'm not going to name the days and follow a strict schedule but by Thursday what's the point to yelling, just gotta ride with who you got or put someone else in and get them ready for Friday. May be something I look at as 2 of my goals for next year are to clean the language up a bit and be more positive.
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Post by grouchy71 on Nov 15, 2011 0:47:05 GMT -6
At an AFCA or Nike coaching clinic a few years back I sat in on a motivational speaker who addressed dealing with the 21st century athlete. The speaker suggested always correcting players by telling them what they did positively and ending with the negative. But, the negative has to be phrased correctly. Example: "Johnny, you did a wonderful job reading the down block from the tackle and squeezing him, NOW (instead of but) you need to make sure you spill the pulling guard to make us successful on the play." Yelling at kids for things they know they did wrong is pointless. We need to find the reasons behind the mistakes. Sometimes I find myself yelling simply because I am frustrated. Then, I try to calm myself down before approaching anyone to be corrected. My first reaction to skimming this quoted comment was to want to roll my eyes and tell myself how much more "old-school" I was than that. After all, I'm 34, a real old-timer. After actually reading it and getting over the "new-age" douche-chills (inappropriate?, common saying where I'm from), I realized that I actually coached this way for most of this season, my first as HC. I would use a little bit of sarcasm at times, but I've cut way back on this, I've used more of the "we NEED you to hit your gap so that ..." and a lot of making Hudl highlights out of every little hustle play, correct technique, any little freaking thing I could find. Kids absolutely ate it up. Partly because last coaching staff was much more old-fashioned perhaps, but I know that if the 23 year-old version of me was watching the 34 year-old version of me coach, he woulda wondered what planet I was from. Grouch |
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Post by bigm0073 on Nov 15, 2011 8:04:26 GMT -6
Negative or Direct... Demanding or a jerk off... I guess it all depends on the perception...
Understand I am big italian/irish guy from Philly.. I am very loud and I can be annoying. But I am also the first to give praise. I do not minse words and if I do not like it I will call you out on it any time, any place... I have had kids come to me and say they respect me because I get on EVRYONE.. I ride all of my players.. Some of my best the worst.
Now we have a saying the kids have bought into this year "pain of agony or pain of regret".. Which one do you want. I push my players very hard on the off-season.. Running, conditioning, practice, inside drill, 9 on 9.. Physically/emotionally... I mean give it to them from EVERY angle... At times I know they just want to kill me.. But pressure bust pipes and I want to see who can withstand it..
After our first game this year we were up 35-7... Total domination.. Kicking the crap out of the team. The players were coming off the sideline telling me how easy it was out there.. How 9 on 9 and inside drill was tougher than playing these guys.. Practice was hard.. this is easy..
We won 55-9 and it was one fun bus ride home... Fun... That being said all summer, august I guess I could have been perceived as "negative" at times.. But does it work......
When all district came out this year and we had more players than anyone in the district players were coming to me thanking me for how hard we push them and how demanding we are on them... Is it negative..
Or is calling a coach "negative" just the easy way out for kids who do not want to work and give it up...
I guess it is all perception...
Pain of agony or pain of regret.....
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Post by blb on Nov 15, 2011 8:18:53 GMT -6
It is possible to chew azz with a smile on your face, to be Positive yet Demanding at the same time.
Kids have a weakness for the "soft sell" (i.e., praise) and will strive mightily to receive it.
If you are always yelling as opposed to cool and calm they will tune you out and lose their composure during games.
Now we are not loathe to criticize our players and sometimes quite harshly (lack of effort or discipline, mental mistake). However it cannot be personalized and must be specific.
The player must be left with some pride and dignity, and concrete instructions, on which to construct an improved performance.
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Post by coachcb on Nov 15, 2011 9:03:56 GMT -6
reevekyleWe reevaluated what we were doing consistently when the mistakes kept happening and the lazy a-- kids were the only common factor. A lot of the kids were doing things correctly, some weren't and it hurt us. Anywhere else, I would have just replaced them with someone else, but numbers were really bad. And, I mean not having a team bad.. I would have gladly plugged someone else in if I had them. We did get better as they got consistent "honesty" sessions while watch film. I was pretty proud of myself, I held my composure pretty well. It's hard when you want to throw your laser pointer around and say "this is where you phucked up, this is where you phucked up again, this is where they scored because of the previous _-ups."
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Post by dacoordinator on Nov 15, 2011 9:39:52 GMT -6
I know an Older Coach on here has posted that we should not blame the times and call the kids soft, as they may have down explained the same about us when we were growing up.
But coach Ill tell you if they all said you were too negative and you guys were 1-8. You probably weren't as bad as they say you were. Kids have a way of taking one event and saying it happens all the time. A perfect example of this would be me coaching middle basketball. My first time ever head coaching basketball. Now I know basketball and can teach it well. Competent to fulfill the duties of being a middle school basketball coach anyway. Well long story short, we went 0-10 that year. AFter the season the player were saying I couldn't coach, we never ran any plays and I didn't play the right people. Several coaches and teachers that I let stay and watch practice would contest different. They told many people that I know the game very well, we didn't run plays because the players wouldn't run them and the players that didn't play never played because of their own actions.
Sum it all up Coach take the criticism and use it for next year to get better as a coach. But I am almost certain you weren't as negative as they say you were...
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Post by fantom on Nov 15, 2011 10:01:08 GMT -6
There was a reason why we never filled out negative evaluations on the coaches when I was a player: we didn't have evaluations.
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Post by coachcb on Nov 15, 2011 10:19:39 GMT -6
There was a reason why we never filled out negative evaluations on the coaches when I was a player: we didn't have evaluations. LOL, yeah. I hear you there.. An evaluation from 15-18 year old boys isn't going to be biased or skewed at all. I don't let the players evaluate the staff because I don't find the information useful. We either hear how awesome we are or how we're just terrible. Plus, I can usually pick out who is saying what and have to fight back the urge to jump them. "Johnny, you really don't have any room to evaluate us because you don't have enough information. You haven't been to practice much and, when you are there, you don't pay any attention to us anyway". |
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Post by mholst40 on Nov 15, 2011 11:37:05 GMT -6
In no way am I soft or new school with my players, but if all I did was yell at them, I don't think they would respect me and I don't think I would respect myself. I can take a lot of criticism, but if the only thing someone criticiizing me did was yell and me I probably wouldn't learn too much because I would zone him out. If you want to get a message across with athletes these days, they must know you care about them and want them to succeed for the right reasons. If my players think I want them to do good to make me look good, are they really going to go to bat for me?
Sometimes I use sarcasm and I give them the "are you kidding me look" and sometimes I yell. But, you should be able to identify who can and can't take a yelling, especially during a game situation.
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